Unequal expectations | Kiley Witfoth | TEDxPascoCountySchools

Kiley Witfoth talks about unequal expectations between boys and girls from childhood.

Kiley is a 10th grader from Hudson High School.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Okay, from birth all the way to adulthood,
boys are told to like trucks and sports.

They're told not to cry

and that they should like math
and science, not theater and art.

Girls are told to be
frilly little pink princesses.

They're told to play with dolls.

Women are taught how to cook and clean,

while their counterparts are told to just
find someone who knows how to do that.

Some people would argue that they treat
their sons and daughters equally,

but parents don't without even knowing it.

In a study conducted
by neuroscientist Lise Eliot,

mothers were asked to put their babies
on a downward slope.

They then estimated how steep of a slope
their 11-month-olds could crawl down.

Mothers with boys got it right
to within one degree

while mothers with daughters
underestimated their ability

by about nine degrees

despite lack of differences
in motor skills

between young boys and girls.

We underestimate our children
without even knowing it.

But is it really our fault

when we, as a society,
have been doing that for centuries?

Remember Margaret Hamilton,

the woman who helped build
the Apollo 11 on-flight software?

What about Rebecca Latimer Felton,
the first woman senator in the US?

Caroline Herschel, the German astronomer
who founded many comets?

Society's been telling us what roles
we play in the world for centuries,

from men needing to be strong
to women needing to be delicate,

our thoughts about what men and women
are perceived as is atrocious.

According to landofthebrave.info,
the tasks of colonial women,

which was from 1607 to 1763,

were to cook, clean,
and tend to the children and animals.

The tasks of colonial men,
as stated in public.gettysburg.edu,

were to have social power,
be educated and own property.

They also stated that men usually
didn't step outside of the gender roles

because they already had
all the freedom that they needed.

Women, however,
lacked the same type of freedom

and often got in trouble
for stepping outside of the limits.

We still treat people the same way
that we did roughly 409 years ago.

That's like America still
prosecuting people for witchcraft.

In an image search
of the phrase "boys' toys,"

everything that showed up
had to do with a gun,

a car of some sort, some tools,
superheroes or dinosaurs.

In another image search
of the phrase "girls' toys,"

everything that showed up was pink,
had to do with a castle or a princess,

even a play kitchen and cosmetics set.

Another reason we treat our sons
differently than our daughters

is because of the way
we are marketed things.

In an article written by Laurie Futterman,

studies show from six to 12 months old,
both sexes prefer dolls to trucks.

Many people might argue

that playing with a doll,
a traditionally female toy,

might confuse the child
about their gender or sexuality,

but that could not be more wrong.

Playing with a doll could help the child
with nurturing and relationship building,

according to Rebecca Haynes in her article
"Why Boys Should Play With Dolls."

Why would we deprive young children

from the ability to love
and care for something?

Taking all of this into account,

people do in fact treat their sons
different than their daughters.

Maybe it's because
people don't like change,

or because we're advertised
to gender norms all the time.

So let the little boys play with dolls.

Let the little girls play with trucks.

Let the boys wear pink.

And I don't mean the shirts that say,
"Tough guys wear pink."

Let them be delicate or let them be rough.

Teach the boys how to cook
and teach the girls how to fix a flat.

Don't make your kids
rely on others for simple things.

Let them be who and what they want to be.

To quote Margaret Fuller,

"There's no wholly masculine man,
no purely feminine woman."