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When I was young,
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I wanted to be on TV:
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the lights, the cameras,
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the makeup,
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the glamorous life.
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And from my vantage point,
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just outside of a military base
in Lawton, Oklahoma,
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I didn't make the distinction
between TV reporter or actor.
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It was all the same to me.
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It was either,
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"Reporting live from Berlin"
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or "I shall attend her here and woo her
with such spirit when she comes."
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(Laughter)
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It was all special,
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it was all the spotlight,
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and I just knew that it was for me.
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But somewhere along my journey,
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life happened.
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Ah, much better.
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(Applause)
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I have a disease called vitiligo.
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It started early in my career.
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It's an autoimmune disorder.
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It's where it looks like your skin
is getting white patches,
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but it's actually void of color.
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It affects all ethnicities,
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it affects all ages,
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all genders,
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it's not contagious,
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it's not life-threatening,
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but it is mental warfare.
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It's tough.
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Now, I was diagnosed with this disease
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when I was working on
Eyewitness News in New York City.
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I was in the biggest city in the country,
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I was on their flagship station,
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and I was on their top-rated 5pm newscast,
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and the doctor looked me
right in the eye and said,
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"You have a disease called vitiligo.
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It's a skin disorder
where you lose your pigment.
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There is no cure, but there
a-la-la-la-la" Charlie Brown's teacher.
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He said there is no cure.
All I heard was, "My career is over."
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But I just couldn't give up.
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I couldn't quit,
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because we put too much into this,
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and by "we" I mean Mr. Moss,
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who sent me to speech and drama club
instead of to detention,
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or my sister who paid
part of my college expenses,
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or my mom,
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who simply gave me everything.
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I would not quit.
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So I decided to just put on makeup
and keep it moving.
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I had to wear makeup anyway.
It's TV, baby, right?
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I just put on a little more makeup,
and everything's cool.
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And that actually
went very well for years.
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I went from being a reporter
in New York City
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to being a morning show anchor in Detroit,
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the Motor City,
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and as the disease got worse,
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I just put on more makeup.
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It was easy.
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Except for my hands.
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See, this disease is progressive
and ever-changing.
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That means it comes and goes.
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At one point, for about a year and a half,
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my face was completely white.
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Yeah, it trips me out too.
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(Laughter)
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Yeah.
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And then, with a little help,
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some of the pigment came back,
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but living through this process
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was like two sides of a coin.
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When I'm at work
and I'm wearing the makeup
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or wearing the makeup outside,
I'm the TV guy.
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"Hey, how you doing everybody? Great."
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At home without the makeup, I take it off
and it was like being a leper.
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The stares, constantly staring at me,
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the comments under their breath.
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Some people refused to shake my hand.
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Some people moved
to the other side of the sidewalk,
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moved to the other side of the elevator.
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I felt like they were moving
to the other side of life.
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It was tough,
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and those were some tough years.
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And honestly,
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sometimes I just had to shelter in place.
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You know what I mean?
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Kind of just stay at home
til I get my mind right.
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But then I'd put my blinders back on,
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I'd get back out there,
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do my thing,
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but in the process of doing that,
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I developed this angry, grumpy demeanor.
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Anger is an easy go-to,
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and people would leave me alone,
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but it just wasn't me.
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It wasn't me.
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I was allowing this disease to turn me
into this angry, grumpy, spotted guy.
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It just wasn't me.
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So I had to change.
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I knew I could not change other people.
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People are going to react
and do what they gonna do.
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But there was a cold hard reality as well.
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I was the one
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that was showing anger, sadness,
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and isolating myself.
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It was actually a choice.
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I was walking out the door every day
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expecting the world to react
with negativity,
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so I just gave them that mean face first.
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If I want to change,
the change had to start with me.
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So I came up with a plan.
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Two parter, not that deep.
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Number one: I would just let people stare,
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drink it in, stare all you want,
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and not react.
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Because the truth is
is when I got this disease,
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I was all up in the mirror
staring at every new spot
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trying to figure out what is going on.
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So I needed to let other people
have that same opportunity
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to get that visual understanding.
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Number two:
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I would react with positivity,
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and that was simply a smile,
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or, at the very least,
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a non-judgmental kind face.
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Simple plan.
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But it turned out to be
more difficult than I thought.
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But over time,
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things started to go OK.
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Like this one time, I'm at the store
and this dude is like staring at me,
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like burning a hole inside of my head.
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I was shopping, he's staring at me,
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I'm going to the checkout,
he's staring at me,
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I'm checking out, he's on the other line
checking out, he's staring at me,
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we go to the exit,
he's still staring at me,
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so I see he's staring
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and finally I turn to him
and I go, "Hey buddy, what's up!"
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And he goes, "??. Hi!"
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(Laughter)
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Awkward.
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So to relieve the tension, I say,
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"It's just a skin disorder.
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It's not contagious,
it's not life-threatening,
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it just makes me look a little different."
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I end up talking to that guy
in the grocery store
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for like five minutes.
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It was kind of cool, right?
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And at the end of
our conversation, he says,
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"You know, if you
didn't have vitilargo"
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-- it's actually vitiligo,
but he was trying, so --
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"if you didn't have vitilargo,
you'd look just like that guy on TV."
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(Laughter)
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And I was like, "Haha,
yeah I get that, I get that, yeah."
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(Laughter)
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So things were going OK.
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I was having more good exchanges than bad,
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until that day.
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I had a little time before work
so I like to stop by the park
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to watch the kids play.
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They're funny.
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So I got a little too close,
this little girl wasn't paying attention,
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she's about two or three years old,
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she's running, she runs directly
into my leg and falls down, pretty hard.
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I thought she hurt herself,
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so I reach out to try
and help the little girl
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and she looks at my vitiligo
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and she screams.
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Now kids are pure honesty.
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She's like two or three.
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This little girl, she wasn't
trying to be mean.
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She didn't have any malice in her heart.
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This little girl was afraid.
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She was just afraid.
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I didn't know what to do.
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I just took a step back
and put my hands by my side.
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I stayed in the house for two weeks
and three days on that one.
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It took me a second to get
my mind around the fact
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that I scare small children.
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And that was something
that I could not smile away.
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But I jumped back on my plan
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and just put on my blinders,
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started going back out.
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Two months later, I'm in a grocery store
reaching on the bottom shelf,
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and I hear a little voice go,
"You've got a boo-boo?"
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It's like a two-year old, three-year old,
same age, little girl,
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but she's not crying,
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so I kneel down in front of her
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and I don't speak two-year old
so I look up at the mom,
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and I say, "What did she say?"
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And she says, "She thinks
you have a boo-boo."
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So I go, "No, I don't have
a boo-boo, no, not at all."
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And the little girl says,
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"Duh-duh-hoy?"
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And so I look to mom for the translation,
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and she says,
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"She thinks you're hurt."
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And I say, "No, sweetie,
I'm not hurt at all, I'm fine."
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And the little girl reaches out
with that little hand
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and touches my face.
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She's trying to rub the chocolate into
the vanilla or whatever she was doing.
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It was amazing! It was awesome.
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Because she thought she knew what it was,
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she was giving me everything I wanted:
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kindness, compassion,
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and with the touch of that little hand,
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she healed a grown man's pain.
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Yee-ha. Healed.
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I smiled for a long time on that one.
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Positivity is something
worth fighting for,
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and the fight is not with others,
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it's internal.
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If you want to make
positive changes in your life,
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you have to consistently be positive.
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My blood type is actually B positive.
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(Laughter)
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I know, corny TV guy dad joke,
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my daughter hates it, but I don't care!
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Be positive!
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(Laughs)
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A 14-year old boy years ago,
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this kid had vitiligo,
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he asked me to show my face on television.
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I wasn't going to do it,
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we've been over this,
I thought I was going to lose my job,
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but the kid convinced me by saying,
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"If you show people what you look like
and explain this to them,
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maybe they will treat me differently."
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Boom! Blinders off.
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I did a TV report,
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got an overwhelming response.
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So I didn't know what to do.
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I took the attention
and focused it back on the kid
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and other people that have vitiligo.
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I started a support group.
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Pretty soon, we noticed "vitfriends"
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and "v-strong" support groups
all over the country.
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In 2016, we all came together
and celebrated World Vitiligo Day.
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This past June 25,
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we had over 300 people,
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all in celebration of our annual event.
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It was amazing.
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(Applause)
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Thanks.
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Now, I'm not going to lie to you
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and say it was quick or easy
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for me to find a positive place
living with this disease,
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but I found it.
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But I also got much more.
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I became a better man,
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the man I always wanted to be,
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the kind of guy who can stand up
in front of a room full of strangers
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and tell some of
the toughest stories in his life
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and end it all with a smile,
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and find happiness in the fact
that you all just smiled back.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)