Touching Peace | An Evening With Thich Nhat Hanh

Breathing in, breathing out,

Breathing in, breathing out,

I am blooming as a flower,

I am fresh as the dew,

I am solid as a mountain,

I am firm as the earth,

I am free

I am Joanna Macy

and I want to introduce

four people tonight

I want to introduce a fighter,

a poet, a philosopher,

and a teacher brother.

Actually, it was the fighter

that I met first

before I ever saw him.

I was anguished and desperate

working in the anti Vietnam war movement

in the late sixties and seventies.

And a book came into my hand

Vietnam, a Lotus in a Sea of Fire

and everything was there.

The passion and the insight,

and such tremendous courage.

The next one I met was the poet

and that was when I saw him face to face.

It was June 1982 and

a special session on disarmament

at the United Nations.

There was a pre-conference

on the religious bases for

peace in this time

and disarmament

and there were many religious leaders

and church leaders there.

And you can kind of imagine

what that was like.

And what did I see, but this guy,

come in in a brown coat,

and he, he just stood there.

He didn't have sheafs of paper.

You remember that, Thay?

You just stood there.

And then reached into pockets, and said,

"Well, many important things have been said here.

"I don't think I can add anything,

"but I did write a poem on my way here."

And then he read it.

"Call me by my true names"

That's all he did.

And so I bow to the scholar

who teaches the mind,

helps us to look deeply.

And lastly, of the four, of course,

there is the teacher,

the meditation teacher,

and I think maybe most of you

have met him or know him

in that guise. In that role.

Maybe it was the first time you spoke

in Berkeley. I had prepared things to say

about you, and you said,

"Don't introduce me. Introduce the people

"and the audience to me." So I did.

I said, "Thay, these are my American

"brothers and sisters that live

"where I live, in Berkeley, California".

And I spoke of their concerns with their

moral responsibilities and with the

quality of their coffee in the morning.

[Laughter]

Since that time, you've come so often.

You have met so many of my brothers

and sisters that I think you maybe

know them better than I do.

And you've come, and not only have you

seen us and known us,

but you've helped us to see ourself.

To see reaches in us that we didn't

maybe know were there.

And all coming from something so simple,

The great gift of the miracle of life,

that we can pay attention.

Breathing in, I see you, Thich Nhat Hanh,

Breathing out, I smile.

Thank you Joanna.

My dear friends, I like to describe my practice,

my teaching, as the practice of arriving,

of going home.

There is a beautiful poem that we use

to practice arriving and going home.

It is like this.

I have arrived. I am home,

in the here and the now.

I feel solid. I feel free.

In the ultimate I dwell.

And of course, in my practice

mindful breathing with that poem.

When you breathe in, you practice arriving

I have arrived.

And when you breathe out,

you practice being at home.

I am home.

You may enjoy doing that several times,

and then you switch into

"in the here and the now".

It means, "I have arrived in the here.

"I am home in the now."

"I feel solid." That is when you breathe in.

"I feel free." That is while you
breathe out

At first you may feel

that you are not so solid.

But if you continue the practice

you get more solid.

And you get freer.

And then the last line is,

"In the ultimate I dwell."

To me, it is very important to go home,

to arrive.

In order to make peace with ourselves,

with our society,

and with the people we love.

Sometimes we suffer a little bit too much,

and we want to go away,

to run away from home.

We have the impression that at home

there is only pain and suffering,

deception

and we go and take refuge

in something else.

Maybe in the past or the future,

or in our projects.

Even projects for social change.

Learning to go home, to arrive,

is important.

We go home to the present moment.

We go home to the here and the now.

Sometime we don't want to go home

because we have the impression

that it is not pleasant.

Back home there is things like violence,

fear.

Back home there is things like Haiti,

Somalia. We won't forget.

Going home, we are afraid
of touching our fear

of touching the war within.

Sometime we find ourselves

at war with another person.

Maybe with our family,

with our society,

with our traditions.

But we may learn that

when we are at war with someone else,

there may be war within us.

And that is why

we don't want to go home.

Of course, there is war

within and around us.

But there is something else.

There is also peace and joy.

And you should learn to go home

in order to touch the joy and the peace

within us and around us.

And this is very important.

Because all of us need to be nourished

to be stable,

in order to be able to go further

to do something for the people around us.

I know many of you are very dedicated

to the cause of peace, of social justice,

but many of us feel, at times, lost,

angry, despair.

We are overwhelmed by the tremendous

suffering that is there around us

and even inside of us.

We need a source of energy,

a source of peace, of joy

in order to counterbalance

because we know that

if we do not have some amount

of peace, of joy, of happiness,

then we can't do anything.

We cannot continue.

The practice of arriving helps us

to touch the peace and the joy within

in order to get nourished.

And that practice will help us to generate

the energy of mindfulness

that will help us to touch the war

within and around us.

Because touching the war without strength,

without the energy of mindfulness,

may be dangerous.

We will be overwhelmed by it.

We will be shocked by it.

And therefore, before we learn to touch

the war within and around us

we should cultivate

the energy of mindfulness.

And that kind of cultivation

could be realised when

we learn to go home

and touch the peace and the joy in us.

[Bell]

In the Buddhist tradition

we usually talk about our consciousness

in terms of seeds,

in terms of bijas. 'Bijas' means 'seeds'.

We have seeds of peace,

of joy, of happiness.

There are seeds of war,

of anger, of despair, right within us.

There are seeds of peace and joy

and loving kindness within us

that need to be touched.

We should learn to touch them by ourselves

We should need our friends to come

and help touching them.

This is the practice.

I always encourage my friends

to begin the practice by touching peace.

Touching the positive seeds within us

and touching the positive seeds within

the other person.

It's pleasant.

It helps nourish each other.

And we know that touching,

the deepest kind of touching,

is with the energy of mindfulness.

And in Buddhist meditation,

to generate the energy of mindfulness

to touch peace is very crucial.

We are encouraged

not to touch the war first.

We are encouraged not to touch the pain

the despair, the suffering first.

And touching peace, we can do

as individuals

we can do as a community,

we can do as a nation.

And it is pleasant.

I may like to touch my eye

with the energy of mindfulness.

I have the energy of mindfulness

which is generated by

the practice of mindful breathing.

Breathing in, I know I am breathing in.

Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.

That is the practice of touching your
breath

and that practice is called
'mindfulness of breathing'.

Now I use that energy of mindfulness
to touch my eye.

Breathing in, I am aware of my eyes
Breathing out, I smile to my eyes.

When I touch my eyes with the energy
of mindfulness like that,

I find out that my eyes are still
in good condition.

If I touch my eyes deeply, I realise

that having eyes in good condition
is wonderful too.

Without my eyes, without the ability
to look and see things,

I would suffer very much.

You only need to open your eyes and look

and you see many wonders of life
around us.

The blue sky, the beautiful sunset

the face, the eyes, the smile
of your beloved ones.

You touch these things,
these people, with mindfulness

And you realise that to be alive,
to be able to look at them deeply

is happiness.

Happiness is something simple.

When you have mindfulness and you get
nourished by that kind of touching,

when you touch the eyes with mindfulness

you know that your eyes are
the condition of peace and happiness

and joy for you.

You know peace is there.

When you notice that there are trees dying
you know that it is a negative thing.

Touching these things, you suffer.

But when you touch beautiful trees
that are still alive, healthy,

you realise how wonderful to still
have them around us.

When you touch these beautiful trees,
you get nourished.

And you make the vow to do
whatever you can,

in order to protect them,
to keep them alive.

So touching peace
is to give peace a chance.

Let us practice this exercise
of touching together.

Let us touch our heart.

Breathing in, I am aware of my heart.

Breathing out, I smile to my heart.

When I touch my heart deeply like that
I know that my heart is there,

and it is a good news.

My heart is a condition of peace
and well being and joy for me.

But if I don't touch,
I may cause harm to my heart,

and I don't get happy.

My heart has been working hard
day and night to keep me alive,

to give me well-being,

to pump the blood
to irrigate every cell of my body.

And when I touch it deeply like that
I feel thankful to my heart

My heart is a living thing.

And when I touch it with my mindfulness,
my loving kindness, my heart will feel it.

It feels very comforted by my touching.

And if we touch our heart deeply like that
we would know what to do

and what not to do
in order to support our heart.

We would know what to eat,
what not to eat.

what to drink and what not to drink
in our daily life

in order to be of support to our heart.

We find out that smoking
is not a very friendly act

directed to our heart.

We know that drinking alcohol is not
a friendly act directed to our heart.

And if we continue touching like that
we stop smoking, drinking alcohol,

and we protect the peace, the well being,
and the joy within us.

We may spend a lot of time thinking
of other things.

We may not have enough opportunity
to go back

and touch the conditions of peace
and well being inside.

We live in forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness is the opposite of
mindfulness.

We live our daily life in such a way that
we destroy the peace, the stability,

the joy in our body.

We bring elements of war
into our body.

Mindfulness is the capacity to be aware of
what is happening in the present moment.

If we eat mindfully,
if we drink mindfully,

if we do things mindfully so they are
under the light of mindfulness,

we know what to do in order to bring
the elements of peace and joy

to our body and to our feelings.

We know what not to ingest in order to
prevent the toxins, the poisons

to enter our body and our consciousness.

And it is possible that we practice that
together.

"If you love me, please help me to be
mindful, and please help to touch

"the positive, healing and refreshing
elements within me.

"Touch my peace and joy, my seed of joy.

"Touch the seed of loving kindness in me.

"Touch the seed of happiness in me.

"Please do not touch the seed of anger
in me.

"Please do not touch the seed of despair
and violence in me.

"I will suffer, and you will suffer too."

So if we might like to practise together.

Sometime we suffer a little too much
and we blame the other person

as the cause of our suffering.

Our partner. Our son. Our daughter.
Our parents.

We blame them. We consider them to be
the cause of our suffering.

In fact, they do suffer like us too.

And our enemy is not the other person.

Our enemy is the seed of despair, anger,
frustration, fear, in every one of us.

You are not my enemy.

I want you to practice with me in order to
transform the seeds of suffering

in me and in you.

Because we all suffer the same thing.

But if partners suffer, we should try not
to look at the other person

as the cause of our suffering.

We should bring together our intelligence,

our talent, our mindfulness,
in order to work for the transformation

of the negative things
in both of us.

The tension that exists within us
prevents us from helping each other.

Since we know that we are victims
of the same kind of suffering,

why don't we come together?

And my ideal practice is that when
we come together,

we practice touching the positive
things first

We practice looking deeply in order to
see the seeds of peace, of joy,

of talent, of happiness in ourselves
and in the other person.

We recognise each other's value because
everyone has his or her own talent

and strength and positive values.

Everyone has jewels within himself or
herself.

Looking deeply into the other person,
in order to recognise these jewels,

and tell him, and tell her. Appreciating
these values is a very wonderful practice.

[Bell]

Maybe we can do this exercise.

We sit and practise breathing in and out

and identify the positive seeds
in the other person.

And then to tell the other person
that we have seen them.

We appreciate them. And we would like to
help watering these seeds

so that they become more important.

And that is the kind of practice
that you should begin first.

After some time,
the flowers in us will grow.

And the garbage in us
will diminish.

When the two warring parties
come to a peace conference,

they always begin by accusing each other,

touching the negative things
in each other first.

They could make the tension
more important.

I suggest that a third party
should be there

and practice what we would call,
in Buddhist tradition, 'flower watering'.

A third party may be presiding over
the first meeting,

and begin to talk about
the positive things of each side,

the values, the jewels, and the tradition
of both sides,

so that the other side will
be aware of them

and it will have more respect,
more appreciation of the other side.

We have the tendency to believe
that the other side is worth nothing.

It is only bandits.

Let us imagine that the PLO and the state
of Israel coming together

and practice that.

Because each nation, each tradition
has values, has jewels within it.

That even the people within the group
do not want to touch

because they are so angry,
they are so busy.

And that is why there is war
even in the inside of each party.

Each side.

It's true that in the PLO, many people
don't agree with each other

as to how to handle the problem.

The same thing is true with
the people in Israel.

People may have different kinds of ideas
and they force each other.

The practice I offer is that each side
go back to their own roots and values

and practice touching these beautiful
healing, refreshing elements

within their tradition, their culture.

And after that, each side will restore
the balance

will breathe more easily,
will have more harmony within.

And then it will be much easier
to talk with the other side.

The same thing is true with two persons.

When two persons are in a conflict

the fear, the frustration is too big.

It's difficult for them to reconcile,
to make peace.

The practice of touching peace,
touching the positive elements within us

will be very helpful.

There are many seeds, positive, wonderful,

that have been transmitted to us
by our ancestors.

It may be that during our lifetime

we are not capable of touching
these beautiful seeds.

We only allow people to water
the negative seeds in us.

And that is why it is so important
to go back to our roots,

to go back to ourselves,
and touch these beautiful seeds.

And then we may do it together.
We may help each other.

[Bell]

In the realm of our feelings
there may be also a war on.

Feelings opposing each other.

We suffer. We don't want to go home.

But each feeling is a manifestation
of a seed in us,

the seed of anger, the seed of fear,
the seed of distrust.

But there are other seeds in us
that are more positive.

It is very important for us to practise
touching these seeds

so they will produce wonderful,
refreshing feelings

in order for us to be nourished.

In the teaching of Buddhism,

we have all kinds of seeds
deep in our consciousness.

And when these seeds are watered,
are touched,

they will bloom in the upper level
of our consciousness

as mental formations.

Fear is a mental formation.

Joy is a mental formation.

Mindfulness is a mental formation.

Despair is a mental formation.
Hope is a mental formation.

Loving-kindness is a mental formation.

In forgetfulness, we don't know
how to touch these positive seeds.

We allow ourselves and the people
around us

to touch our negative seeds.

Then our mental formations
will be of negative nature.

And they will destroy us.

Because when a negative seed
manifests itself

on the upper level
of our consciousness,

the seed will be strengthened
at the base.

If we get angry for two hours,
during these hours

the seed of anger keeps growing
to be more important.

And therefore it will be very important
to learn how to touch the positive seeds.

Seeds of joy and peace.

Suppose you have a sister who has
the talent of flower arrangement.

And if your sister is not so happy
you may try to touch the seed

of flower arrangement within her.

You say, "My sister, it has been a long
time you did not offer us a

"flower arrangement. You know, every time
you arrange flowers,

"you make the whole family happy.

"How wonderful to have a pot of flowers
arranged by you!"

That is flower-watering practice.

You tell the truth, because you realise
that that seed is in her.

First she may not have a reaction.

But maybe, half an hour later,
she will take a pair of scissors

and she will go to the garden and
try to find a beautiful branch of flowers.

And during the time she goes around
like that, she waters by herself

the seed of flower arrangement,
the seed of happiness in her.

And if she spends half an hour
arranging the pot of flowers,

she also continues to practice
watering her seed of happiness.

It is not so difficult.

We practice watering the positive seeds
by ourselves.

And we will help water the positive seeds
in the other person.

And she will help also to do the same
kind of thing.

In a relationship
we should learn that practice.

It's easy. It's pleasant.
It's very healing.

After having practised for a few weeks

touching the positive things
with your energy of mindfulness,

your mindfulness has become
more important.

And with that energy
you might begin touching

the unpleasant things within you
and in the other person.

Suppose someone comes and says
something that makes me angry.

I know now how to practise
taking good care of my anger.

I wouldn't say anything or
do anything yet.

I know that the most important thing now
is to take good care of my anger.

Breathing in, I touch my anger.

Breathing out,
I am taking good care of my anger.

My anger is an energy.

My mindfulness is another kind
of energy.

The energy of mindfulness
is embracing the energy of anger

in a most tender way.

That is a practice called,
"mindfulness of anger".

We don't try to suppress our anger.

We practise embracing our anger.
We know that our anger is us.

Mindfulness holding anger
like a mother holding a baby.

And if you know of mindful breathing

you can nourish the energy of mindfulness
to be there

in order to take good care of your anger.

If your mindfulness is not strong enough,
a friend of yours can help you.

One friend, two friends
who know the practice

may like to sit close to you
hold your hand,

breathe in and out mindfully
and help you to touch your anger

with her or his mindfulness.

You feel stronger in the presence
of someone like that.

You know that when your little boy
or little girl is agitated,

if you hold his or her hand
and you breathe in and out calmly

and if you ask him or her
to breathe calmly

the two kinds of energy will
be combined.

And you'll be able to calm,
to stabilise the child very easily.

So when we practise touching the
negative things in us,

the despair, the anger,
the frustration,

if we feel that our energy of mindfulness
is not strong enough,

and then we ask a friend,
the one who we trust,

to sit close to us,
and we practise together.

That is what we call
practising in a sangha.

Sangha means a community of practice.

If you practise alone,
it will be more difficult.

But if you practise among other people,
who practise the same

you get the support.

You help your brothers and sisters
when they need you,

and they will help you
when you need them.

[Bell]

In the Buddhist tradition we always
consider the community of practice

as a jewel.

I take refuge in my sangha.

Sangha means the community of practice.

Sometime you lose your practice
but the sangha will always rescue you,

help you to restore your practice,
until your practice becomes strong

so that you can help other people also.

Taking refuge in the sangha
is not a matter of belief.

It is a matter of practice.

And you might like to transform
your partner, your parents,

your son, your daughter
into your sangha.

It is possible to do so if you practice
well enough.

You become more pleasant, more smiley
and you'll be able to convince him or her.

You may give a book or a tape on the
practice.

And if you are able to convince a friend
or a partner to the practice,

you get supported by that person.

Anyone of us would need a sangha.

If you are a social worker,
if you are a doctor,

if you are a therapist,
if you are a politician,

if you are a teacher, well,
you all need a sangha

to get supported.

Sangha building is very crucial
for our survival.

I have arrived. That's what you practice
when you breathe in.

Whether in a position of sitting
or walking.

Make a step, breathe in, and say,
"I have arrived."

Don't be afraid of going home.

Because, going home, you learn touching
the most beautiful things at home.

Home is in the present moment.

"I have arrived. I am home."

"In the here and the now."

Because it is only in the here and the now
that you can touch life.

Of course, life, there is suffering
in life.

But there are many wonders in life.

If you do not go back to the
present moment,

how could you touch
the beautiful sky,

or the beautiful sunset,

or the beautiful face of your child?

If you do not go home,
how could you touch your heart,

your lungs, your liver, your eyes,
in order to give them a chance?

Going home, you will be able
to touch the wonders of life,

the elements that are refreshing,
healing and beautiful.

That is very important.

When you practice sitting meditation,
you practice arriving

in order to touch many wonderful things.

First of all, the fact that you are alive.

The fact that you are alive is a miracle.

"Breathing in, I know I am alive."

"Breathing out, I know I do not miss
my appointment with life."

Your appointment with life is
in the present moment.

And if you don't learn how to arrive,
to go back to the here and now,

you miss life.

Everything that is wonderful
must be touched in the present moment.

In a discourse called, "The Discourse on
the Better Way to Live Alone",

the Buddha taught us that
we should not get lost in the past.

We should not get lost in the future.

We have to go back to the present moment,

and observe, and live deeply,
life in the present moment.

That is the most ancient text on
how to live in the present moment.

The present moment contains the past.

The present moment is made of the past.

And if you touch deeply the present moment

you touch the past.

The past is still available.

And the damage that was caused in the past
can be repaired also

because the past is there,
deep in the present moment.

If I touch the present moment deeply,
I touch also the past

and I can transform it.

The future will be made of
the present moment.

There's no use worrying about the future.

The best way to take care of the future
is to take good care of the present moment

If you do your best to handle the
present moment,

you have done everything for the future.

That is why, to practice arriving home
in the here and the now is very important.

Maybe, in the beginning you might have
the impression that home is not so sweet.

But with the energy of mindfulness,
you will find your home sweet.

And if it happens that you have to touch
the unpleasant things at home,

you know that touching them with
mindfulness will help to transform them.

Our despair, our anger, our irritation,

when touched with the energy
of mindfulness,

will be transformed.

And that is why touching
the positive things

in order to get nourished

and to cultivate the energy
of mindfulness

is very crucial in the beginning.

After that, our energy of mindfulness
will be strong enough

to allow us to touch the more,
the negative elements

within and around us.

And we do it together also.

[Bell]

In the practice of Buddhist meditation,
we learn to touch our body as a river.

Because our body always changes.

We learn to touch our feelings as a river.

And we learn to touch our perceptions
as a river too.

The Buddha taught us that most of our
suffering comes from our wrong perceptions

It's very important to use the energy of
mindfulness

and touch deeply our perceptions.

Our perceptions are very often wrong.

And because of that,
we accuse the other person.

We accuse other people
as the origin of our pain,

our suffering.

In fact, our wrong perceptions
are the cause of our pain.

Walking in the twilight, we may
mistake a piece of rope as a snake.

And we scream, we run off.

That is a wrong perception.

That kind of perception
is very usual in our daily lives.

That is why it is so important
to practice and generate

the energy of mindfulness,
in order to go back

and touch our perceptions.

The Buddha said, most of our
perceptions are wrong.

At least, they have elements that
are wrong in our own perceptions.

The purpose of Buddhist meditation
is described as the practice of calming,

stopping, concentrating, in order to
look deeply into the heart of things.

If you don't stop, if you don't calm,
if you don't concentrate,

you have no energy for looking deeply.

The first part of the practice is called
samatha. Stopping, calming, concentrating.

And that can be done with sitting,
breathing mindfully.

The second part of the practice is called
vipashyana. It means deep looking.

And these aspects of the practice
help you to discover

the true nature of what is.

And the insight you get will be able
to liberate you from your own suffering.

So misunderstanding is the root of our
suffering.

And when we misunderstand,
we accuse the other person

as the root of our suffering.

The practice, according to the practice
you have to help each other.

You have to come together and
deal with your real enemy,

wrong perceptions.

And in each of us there is a habit
that is the cause of so much difficulties.

I know of a French lady
who left home at the age of seventeen,

who went to England and lived
because she was so angry at her mother.

She wanted to forget France,
to forget her mother.

But thirty years later,
she touched a book on Buddhism,

and she had the desire to go home,
and reconcile with her mother.

The desire to go back and reconcile
was very strong in her.

And that desire, that willingness,
is strong also in the person of the mother

So both sides wanted to reconcile
and to make peace.

But every time they met, there was
an explosion of anger on both sides.

Because the seed of suffering had been
cultivated for a long time.

It has become a kind of habit energy
that dictate both of them.

The willingness to reconcile
is not enough.

The willingness to make peace
is not enough.

We need to practice.

So I asked her to come to stay in
Plum Village for a few - where I stay

and practice - to come to Plum Village and
stay for two months for the practice.

She practiced walking meditation,
sitting and breathing,

eating in mindfulness,
drinking tea in mindfulness,

flower watering.

The energy of mindfulness
cultivated by that daily practice,

she used to touch the seeds of anger

and to touch the habit energy
of reacting like a machine

every time the seed of anger
is watered.

And I advised her to write a letter
of reconciliation

from time to time,
to her mother.

Write it in mindfulness.

During the time of writing that letter,
her seed of suffering and anger

was not watered by her mother.

Her mother was not there,
so it was much easier to write

a letter of reconciliation.

And to write such a letter
is also to practice deep looking

into herself, and into the person
of her mother.

A number of months later,
she was transformed.

And the letter that she wrote,
her mother read, one after one.

And during the time reading this letter,

she got the effect of flower arrangement,

her values were recognised.

She restored the balance.

These things, you can do.

We all can do.

[Bell]

Before I continue, I would like to invite
you to breathe in and out a few times,

and then tell you how to stretch,
imitating a palm tree.

[Bell]

[Bell]

[Bell]

In our daily life, we are often
distracted.

Our body may be there but
our mind is not there.

So we are not really present.

Our beautiful child may be coming,
our beautiful little boy or girl,

may be coming,
smiling her beautiful smile.

She wants to get some of
our attention.

But since we are caught in the future,

in our projects, or in our regrets,

we are not available to our child.

And our child is not available to us.

Life is not possible.

That is why, a few mindful breathing
may help us to go back

and to become available to our child,
to life.

And mindfulness of breathing may help you
to be present in order to encounter life.

If you love someone, the greatest gift
that you can make to him or her

is your presence.

If you are not there, how could you love?

And therefore, the most meaningful
declaration, when you are in love, is this

"Darling, I am there for you."

Your presence is very important
for him or for her.

And that cannot be bought with money.

That could only be practiced
by mindfulness.

So breathe in and breathe out mindfully,
and make yourself available

to your beloved one.

That is a practice of mindfulness.

"Darling, I am there for you."

When you are there,
the energy of mindfulness is there,

and that energy helps you to recognise
the presence of the other.

If you are not there, how can you
recognise her presence? Or his presence?

That is why mindfulness is the energy that
helps you to recognise the presence

of the other. "Darling, I know that you
are there, and I am happy."

So you embrace the person you love
with the energy of mindfulness.

That is the most nourishing thing
for him or for her.

Otherwise she will die slowly.

You are there,
but you are not really there.

Your presence is not true, not real
because you are not mindful.

If the person you love
does not get your attention,

your mindfulness,
she dies slowly.

Especially when
the person you love suffers,

your presence is most important
to her, or to him.

That is why, when you see
the person you love suffer

you have to make yourself available
right away.

"Darling, I know that you suffer."

"I know that you suffer, and that is why
I am there for you."

That is the practice of mindfulness.

And you know how to do it.

You might use sitting, walking, breathing.

All these practices aim
at making you available, present.

And if you yourself suffer,
you have to do the same thing.

You have to practice being there,
by breathing in and out,

holding your suffering
with your mindfulness.

Then you go to the person you love
and trust and tell her, tell him,

"Darling, I suffer. Please help."

These are very simple words to say.

If your love is true, you should be able
to tell him or tell her that you suffer

and that you need her help, or his help.

If you cannot go to him or her,
and say that something is wrong

in your relationship, your love is not
true enough.

In true love, pride does not have a place.

Pride should not prevent you
from going to him or to her

and to tell him or her that you suffer
and you need him or her to help.

We are rooted in each other.

I need you in order to survive.

One day, in the Upper Hamlet
of Plum Village,

I happened to see
a young lady walking alone.

And I had the feeling
that she is not a human being.

She was like a ghost.

I knew right away that she was one
of the hungry ghosts of our society.

Coming from a broken family,
coming from a society

that does not recognise you,
that has made you suffer.

Coming from a tradition that
is not capable of nourishing you,

communicate to you.

In the past twelve years, I have met
several hungry ghosts like that.

They are without any root.

They don't believe in their family.

They get angry at their parents.

They get angry at their society.

They get angry at their traditions.

They want to leave everything behind.

And they go around
looking for something to belong to.

Looking for something beautiful.

Something rooted,
something true to believe in.

Many of them have come to
practice centres like Plum Village.

It's very difficult to help these people.

They have no roots. It's very difficult for
them to absorb the teaching

because they don't trust easily.

You have to do your best in order to
earn their trust before you can help.

Our society is organised in such a way
that we produce tens of thousands

of hungry ghosts everyday.

They have not received love from
their parents, their society,

their tradition.

Nobody has understood them.
That is why they are very hungry

of love and understanding.

And they are looking for something
to believe in.

And hungry ghosts, even if they have
a big belly like this,

they have a very tiny throat,

as small as a needle, it is described
in the sacred text.

Hungry ghosts have a throat
that is as small as a needle.

So even if you have a lot to offer,

it is very difficult for them to absorb.

Even if you have plenty of food,
plenty of water, plenty of love,

to offer, it is difficult for them
to absorb

because nobody has understood them,
nobody has loved them,

they suspect everything,
they suspect everyone.

We have helped a certain number
of hungry ghosts like that.

We know that it is difficult.

We know that we need each other
in order to help.

We have to recognise our society
in such a way that we

stop producing more hungry ghosts.

It is very important.

We should practice looking deeply
in order to be able to understand

these hungry ghosts, and not
to continue to blame them.

Because they have not received
any understanding,

and therefore, any love.

[Bell]

Each person, in order to be happy
and stable

should have at least two families.

The first is the blood family

in which father and mother represent
the youngest generation of ancestors.

If your parents are happy with each other,

they'll be able to transmit to you
the values of your ancestors.

The love and trust that are in them
in the form of seeds.

And you have roots in your blood family.

If you are on good terms with your parents
you are connected with your ancestors

through your parents.

But if you are not on good terms with your
parents, you get disconnected

with all your ancestors.

You become a person without roots.

And you can become very easily
a hungry ghost.

The other family is the spiritual family.

You also have ancestors.

And if the people who represent
your traditions are not happy enough,

if they have not been lucky enough
in order to receive the jewels

of your tradition,

they would not be able
to transmit them to you.

They could not be able to understand you
and your needs.

They could impose on you
things you don't like.

Communication between them and you
is not possible.

You suffer, and you want to get away
from your own traditions.

And if you are in bad terms
with your rabbi, with your pastor,

with your priest, you get disconnected
with your spiritual ancestors.

And you become a hungry ghost.

And having so much suffering
within yourself,

you make the person you love suffer.

And if you have children,
you make them suffer also.

And they too will become hungry ghosts.

That is why it is so important to practise
looking deeply

to find out what is wrong with our family.

What is wrong within our blood family.

What is wrong within our spiritual family.

The practice of mindful looking
may be very helpful

in order for you to understand
your parents

and the people who represent
your tradition.

If your parents cannot embody
the values of your ancestors,

if your priest, your rabbi, your pastor
cannot embody the values

of your tradition,
there must be causes.

We have to look deeply.

And when we are capable of looking deeply,

the insight will come,
and that will help us to accept,

to have compassion.

And going back home to help our parents.

To help our rabbi, our priest, our pastor,

will become possible.

There is a young American
who came to Plum Village

and told me that he was so angry at his
father, to the point that even after his

father's passing away, he still
could not reconcile with him.

And I helped him, by the teaching of
the emptiness of transmission.

Emptiness of transmission is a way of
looking deeply in order to recognise

that you are one with your parents.

You are only a continuation
of your parents.

Getting angry at your parents is
to get angry at yourself.

When we talk about transmission,

we talk about the one who transmits,

we talk about the object transmitted,

and we talk about the receiver
of the transmission, three things.

When you have a chance to take a shower,

when you take a shower, you have
a chance to look at your body

as the object of transmission.

And you think of your parents as
the transmitters.

Your body, your consciousness,
as the object transmitted.

And you are the receiver
of the transmission.

But looking deeply, we see that
three of them are empty

of a separate self.

The question we ask is,
what did your parents transmit?

And if you practice looking deeply,
you see that

your parents transmit themselves to you.

Your body, and all the seeds that you
carry within your consciousness,

are your parents.

They did not transmit anything less
than themselves.

All the seeds of suffering,
all the seeds of happiness and talent

they received from the ancestors,
they have transmitted everything to you.

So the transmitters and the
transmitted one and you are also one

with the object transmitted.

So you cannot escape the fact
that you are only the continuation

of your father. You are your father.

And to reconcile with your father,
is to reconcile with yourself.

There is no other way.

That young man, he put a picture
of his father on his desk.

And put a little lamp.
Every time he goes to his desk,

he would look in the eyes of his father,
and practise breathing in and out.

And to touch the fact
that he is his father.

He is only a continuation
of his father.

And he realised the fact that his father
was not capable of transmitting to him

the seeds of love and trust
that lie deep in his consciousness.

Because he did not have the
capacity to do so.

He was not helped by anyone
to touch these seeds

in order to get nourishment.

And of course, the seed of trust and love
in him was covered up by

so many layers of suffering.

And when you have become
aware of that, you can forgive

you can understand.

There is a wonderful guided meditation
on the five year old boy

that we used to offer to hungry ghosts
who come to Plum Village.

"Breathing in, I see myself as a five
year old boy. Or girl.

"Breathing out, I smile to that five
year old boy or girl, who is me."

And that you practise for one or two
weeks.

A five year old boy or girl
is always very vulnerable.

Very fragile.

A stern look may already
hurt him or her.

A shout may already
hurt him or her.

That is why we are very fragile
when we are five.

And if you see yourself as a
five year old boy like that,

And if you breathe out and smile to you

the smile will be the smile of compassion.

Understanding.

I suffer because, as a five year old
boy, I was deeply wounded.

And two weeks later, I could give him
the other half of that practice.

"Breathing in, I see my father
as a five year old boy.

"Breathing out, I smile to the
five year old boy that was my father."

Maybe you have not imagined
that your father could be

a five year old boy, but he was
a five year old boy.

He had been a five year old boy.

And if you are capable of breathing in
and seeing your father

as a five year old boy,

you would see that he is also fragile.

Vulnerable.

Easily to get hurt.

And he may be like you, the victim
of your grandpa.

And practise like that.

Smiling to that five year old boy
with compassion.

One day you will understand
that your father is also a victim.

That is why he was not capable
of nourishing himself

with the seed of love and trust.

And if you don't practise,
that seed of love and trust in you

will remain very small.

And tomorrow, when you have a child

you will do exactly like your father.

The wheel of samsara.

And many have profited
from that exercise.

They have gone back
to help their own parents.

And through their parents,
they get connected again

with their ancestors.

And the same practice can be directed
to your tradition.

Your spiritual family.

If you understand, by the practice
of mindfulness,

you may discover that there are values
in your own tradition.

I always tell my students that the
equivalent of mindfulness

could be seen in the tradition of
Judaism and Christianity.

And when you have practised mindfulness
in a Buddhist centre,

you may discover that these jewels
are also in your own tradition.

And you are urged to go back
in order to help out,

to rediscover these values
for your own nourishment

and the nourishment
of your children.

Because, a person without roots
cannot be a happy person.

Getting back and touch our roots
and rediscover the positive seeds

the jewels within our tradition,
blood or spiritual,

is a very important practice.

And the practice of mindfulness can help.

[Bell]

My dear friends, it's 9.30.

I like to ask Sister Chan Khong,
True Emptiness

to offer you a song on
mindfulness practice.

Thank you for being there,
mindful.

[singing in Vietnamese]