critique and feedback - the story of austin's butterfly - Ron Berger

I love the story. The kids' names are so unique and sometimes so exotic that I had to ask my friends for help. It can be difficult when a kid slurs. But, hey, they are still little. My job is do my best to comprehend and I love them.

What would you guys say to teachers

if they are not getting high quality work?

Could they learn something from this?

Or would you say they would learn differently in the classrooms?

This is the story called Austin's Butterfly.

And it's a true story about a first grade boy, and his name is Austin.

And he goes to school, or used to go to school in a town called Boise, Idaho.

And in his class in Boise, Idaho, they were studying butterflies and he had to do a project.

His job in the first grade was to draw a butterfly.

And this is the butterfly that he picked.

Austin had to use this photograph as his model,

and he had to draw an accurate scientific drawing of this butterfly.

This is called a Tiger Swallowtail.

Student: I knew it!

Can you tell Toby why it's called tiger?

Student: Because it kinda has the stripes of a tiger right there.

Good. So, here was Austin's job.

He was supposed to do a scientific drawing of that butterfly,

but remember Austin was only in first grade.

And you know what he did?

He forgot to look like a scientist carefully.

He got his paper and he just started to draw the image of butterfly that he had in his head.

And he wasn't looking like a scientist, and so this is what he drew.

It's not bad! And it is a butterfly.

But does it look exactly like this?

Students: No...

No, it doesn't yet.

It doesn't look exactly like this yet.

Luckily, this wasn't the regular school where Austin went.

It was an expeditionary learning school just like Presumpscot School.

And so they didn't look at this and say, "Good Austin! You're done!"

They said, "Austin, good start! Now we can start giving you critiques,

so you can do a second draft and make it better."

And a third draft and make it better and you can make it much much closer to this.

And he was ready to go.

All of the first graders in his critique group sat on the floor like you guys are.

And they decided to split their advice into two kinds.

First, just the shape of the wings.

And then when the shape was right, they give him advice about pattern inside the wings.

Aulia, what would you say?

You could make it much pointier.

Good! These wings could be much pointier.

Who else would add something?

Etak, what would you say?

How about the angle?

Because, not to be mean about the angle, it's just not exact. So, uh...

Okay! Show me! Come up here, Etak!

Show me where...what you would like to ask him to do just slightly differently.

Uh, like to make it little longer?

Longer where? Draw where you would do it.

Like right there.

Okay, so pull this out longer?

Yeah.

That's very specific, Etak. Thank you.

Jemilla, what would you say?

It's like... like...a... triangle?

Good. Jemilla, I love that. So you are saying more like a triangle shape. And I agree.

Well you know what, those first graders came up with most of those same ideas.

And you know what Austin said?

He said, "Ok! I will go try. And he went back to his seat. And he drew this!"

Wow! Wow~

Does this look more like a triangle?

Yeah...yeah.

Did he go out further like what Etak was suggesting?

Yeah...yes.

Did he add some jaggedness here, (yes) like Cindy?

Did he get rid of that bottom thing?

Yes.

So he did listen to his friends and he made it better.

It's not perfect. Toby, what would you say?

I would say don't put those little tail things so pointed in, I would say put them more pointed down.

Good! Ok. Ethan, what would you say?

I think you should make the wings more like this, not like this.

Okay.

He listened to his friends, and they said this is really a lot better Austin.

That second draft really is better.

Maybe he can make a third one.

Good! Maybe he can make a third draft.

And so he did this draft.

That's his third draft.

That's his third draft. Hadley, that's just right.

Elijah, what do you notice there?

One wing is more of a pointed than the other. And that side is a little bit higher than the others.

Good.

Cobern?

Right here, it doesn't have the inside thing still.

Ah! Okay! It needs a little bit more that notch.

So, do you think maybe he should do a fourth draft?

Students: Yeah!

Well, that's just what he said.

He said, "Shoot! Okay. I got round again, I will go back and do the fourth draft."

He listened!

He listened! Does it look more even like what Elijah was suggesting?

Yes! Yeah!

And does it look like coming out a little sharper like Cindy was suggesting?

And like Etak was saying, the angle looks a little better.

So now Austin was feeling really good.

He said, " Am I ready to add some pattern?"

And they said, "Okay. Why don't you try adding some of the pattern?"

And he did!

He's good at it.

He's so good.

And then they said, "Austin, you are ready for color."

Let's look at his last draft.

And what do you think? Did it come out really good?

Students: Yeah! Yeah!

Let me show you where he started, just to give you a quick reminder.

And then, what do you think about how much progress he made?

Etak, what would you say about his progress?

He made a lot of progress.

He persevered doing it.

Um, his friends were honest with him.

What was about the kinds of advice that they gave that allowed him to get better each time?

Assahn?

Well, they told him what was wrong about it.

Did they said it was just wrong or were they more specific than that?

They were more specific, but they weren't mean about it.

Great!

Hadley.

He made six drafts.

And so is that something that other kids should learn from?

What should we learn from that?

You can make other drafts if it's not right.

Good.

So if it's not right, you can keep doing more drafts to make it better.

And you just don't use things in your head,

you want to use sharp eye.

Good! He used the eyes of a scientist.

Great.