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Hah.
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PACKER: What's so funny?
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HEAD TRAPPER: Come on, Packer!
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It's only a matter of time!
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Trapper horse can't spend her whole life with
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no boring, dumb, cheezmo miner!
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[trappers laughing]
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PACKER: Well, it's better than just leaving traps where people
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can step in them... and stuff.
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NOON: Yeah, and killin' all those furry little animals all the time.
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TRAPPER: Aww, don't hurt da whittle animals.
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HUMPHREY: Nice hat!
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PACKER: Well, I'd rather be a miner than a trapper any day!
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HEAD TRAPPER: You guys don't even know what it MEANS
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to be a trapper!
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TRAPPER: Yeah! Tell 'em, French!
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HEAD TRAPPER: [singing, in an exaggerated manor] ♫♪♫ I can catch a
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helpless animal! Skin it with my bare hands.
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I wake up muddy, and I go to bed bloody, 'cause I'm
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a trappin' man.
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I can brave the nastiest weather! (Weather!)
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Even if it's 80 below! (Below!)
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My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelavant!
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My ma was an eskimo.
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I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast! (Breakfast!)
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With beaver butt on the side! (The side!)
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My mind's magnificent, my body no different.
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I'm full of trapper pride!
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Yo ho! (Yo ho!) (Yo ho! [sung off-key]) Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife!
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Yo ho! (Yo ho! [again, backup trapper is off-key]) (Yo ho!)
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One thing's for sure, nothin' like the trappin' life!
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I'm badder than the baddest sailor! (Sailor!)
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I make love to women 10 feet tall! (Feet tall!)
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I got a chest of wonder, and balls of thunder
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I can break right through a wall!
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I love the sound of metal, snapping on an animal's head!
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Sometimes they scamper, sometimes they wimper
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But they always end up dead!
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[High, in a feminine fashion] I've always wanted to be
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somebody, who didn't get pushed around.
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Now that I'm a trapper, I'm the meanest guy around! (SECOND MEANEST!)
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The blood of a fresh-cut rodent is as sweet as brandywine.
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And the brain of an antelope tastes like cantelope
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What a yummy life!
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Yo ho! (YO HO!) (Yo ho [off-key]!)
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Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife!
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Yo ho! YOHO! (Yo ho [off-key]!) ♪♫♪ [Song is then interrupted]
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NOON: OH, STOP!
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HUMPHREY: That's sick!
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HEAD TRAPPER: I AGREE! Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
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Nutter: No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in Eb minor!
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HEAD TRAPPER: The song's in F# major!
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SHANNON: I think they're the same thing...
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I mean, Eb IS the relative minor of F#!
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HEAD TRAPPER: No it isn't! The relative minor is three
-
half-tones DOWN from the major! Not up!
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NOON: No! It's three down! Like A is the relative minor
-
of C major!
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TRAPPER: But isn't A# in C major?
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SHANNON: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something?
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HEAD TRAPPER: A# is TONIC TO C MAJOR! It's the six!
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HUMPHREY: No it isn't!
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SWAN: Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything.
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HEAD TRAPPER: Oh well, you guys are just a bunch
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of LOSER DIGGERS anyhow!
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HUMPHREY: OH SEE! You know we're right!
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