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McDonald's Firing - Saturday Night Live

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    Manager: Okay. Alright, guys. Staff meeting! Circle up, everybody, let's go!
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    Oh, but Carl -- you stay on the fryer, just in case.
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    Carl: You can count on me boss! Alright.
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    Manager: Thanks. Ah, Unfortunately this is the kind of meeting I just, I hate, I-I uh, I warned you guys I had some bad news.
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    Well sales are down, so we gotta make some cutbacks. I'm gonna have to let some people go.
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    Employees: Ugh!
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    Dana: YEA RIGHT! We KNOW who you gonna FIRE!
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    Niff: Yeah!, We KNOW it's US! You ALL hate US!
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    Dana: And WE hate all of YOU!
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    Niff: Mm-hmm!
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    Manager: Uh, guys? Guys, please let me finish...
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    Niff: No! No! Cause if you FIRIN' us,
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    then we goin' out on TOP like SEINFELD!!
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    Dana: Yeah! I got a FAREWELL CARD for all y'all tricks!!
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    ANGIE! You a JERK! You just MEAN!
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    Niff: Yeah! You as mean as a JUNKYARD DOG, Angie!
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    And I wish you was never born into this WORLD!
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    Dana: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! You a BITCH!
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    Niff: Yeah! You a stone-cold BITCH, Angie!
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    Manager: Ohhh-kay, guys just please...just stop
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    Dana: No! We just gettin' started!
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    Ohhh, Briannnn!
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    Niff: OH Brian! Every day, I wake up and I think,
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    "Yo, is today the day that I punch that fool, Brian, until he DIES?!"
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    Dana: Yeah! Brian! Your breath smell like CREAM CORN,
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    and you ain't even EAT no cream corn TODAY!
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    Ooo! Your turn Kimmyyy!
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    Niff: Oh! Kimmy!
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    Dana: Kimmy! Are you ALWAYS on your period?!
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    You are like ONE...BIG..PERIOD!
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    Niff: Yeah! You should be at the END of a SENTENCE,
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    you HUGE PERIOD!! It be creepin' me OUT!
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    Manager: Ooh, okay guys, guys. This is inappropriate.
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    Dana: I'll TELL YOU whats INAPPROPRIATE!
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    AN-DREW!!
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    Niff: Ooh, Andrew! You ain't got NOTHIN'
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    behind those eyes! You a SNEAK!
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    Dana: Yeah! Yeah, Andrew, I'm pretty sure
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    you're a SERIAL KILLER!
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    Niff: Uh-huh
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    Dana: And if you lookin' for someone to kill
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    NEXT, might I suggest NELIOTTT?!!
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    Niff: Oooh, Nelliot! Oh! You are a MOOSEHEAD MORON, Nelliot!
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    And by the way, what the HELL kind of name is NELLIOT?!
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    Nelliot: Well... your name is Niff!
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    Niff: Yeah! It's short of KEN-NIFF
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    Together: BITCH!
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    Manager: Okay...okay guys.
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    Niff: [shoved her to the side] Get OUT of here!
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    Dana: Okay! Who's next?!
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    Ooooh, Don!
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    Niff: Ooh! Don SUCKS!
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    You look a APE with a BOWL CUT, man!
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    I wanna KNIFE you in the CHEST!
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    Dana: Don, you a THEIF! You stole my HEART!
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    I LOVED you!
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    Don: Wha-, Well... this is the first I've heard of this,
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    Dana, I'm married.
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    Dana: That's on YOU!! That's on you!
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    Niff: Yeah, Don. You dropped the BALL, Don!
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    You dropped the BALL!
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    Manager: Alright guys, come on. That's enough..
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    Dana: SIX more! BEVERLYYY!
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    Niff: Don't you even think you gettin' off easy Beverly, just cause you still got NO POWER!
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    Dana: Yeah! I KNOW you copied those MadLibs, BEVERLY!
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    Ain't NOBODY THAT funny!
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    Niff: No, HELL, no! And, that oh
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    Let's talk about Seth Bogan for a minute!
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    Dana: Quit TALKIN' about how your name sounds
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    like SETH ROGAN!
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    Together: BITCH!
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    Seth Bogan: I-i-it does.
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    Dana: But that ain't a STORYY!
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    Niff: Yeah, A story got a beginnin', a middle,
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    and a END!
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    Dana: Yeah, thats barely an ANECDOTE!!
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    Niff: Yeah, you a BITCH, Seth BOGAN!
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    Dana: Bitch!
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    Manager: Hoo! Guys...guys...
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    Niff: NO! We got RIGHTS! And if you gonna FIRE us,
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    then you gotta HEAR US OUT!
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    Dana: Hey! New guy! Whats your name again?!
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    Randy: Uh... I'm Randy, uh...
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    I've worked here for six months.
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    Niff: [mimicking] Ohhh... "I'm Randy!
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    I've worked here for six months!"
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    Yo! This is Randy talkin' to Randy:
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    Together: [Spazz out] "Ba da ba ba baaa!
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    GO KILL YOURSELF! [Spin and high-five one another]
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    Niff: DAMN!
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    Dana: DAMN!
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    Brian: [shakes head] You guys rehearse this?
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    Together: MAYBEEE!
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    Dana: Ooo! MARTHA! I've NEVER liked you!
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    Guess what?! We all know you smoke in the beef fridgee!
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    Niff: Yeah! People gotta eat that BEEF, Martha!
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    And, by the way! I SAW your weird leg, Martha!
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    Bitch look like a cheese doodle!
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    What did you get BURNED?!
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    Martha: [serious] Yes.
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    [Niff and Dana stare at each other in disbelief]
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    Together: MOVIN' ON!!
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    Niff: Yo! Where Patrick at?!
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    Manager: He called in sick.
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    Dana: GET! THAT! FOOL! on the PHONE!
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    Niff: Oh Okay [calls Patrick, puts the speaker on]
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    Partick: Hello?
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    Dana: Get a cheaper haircut!
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    Niff: You sound DUMB on the PHONE!
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    Patrick: Who is this?!
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    Together: CLICK!! [Niff hangs up]
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    Manager: Alright! You've insulted everyone-
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    Niff: oh, no, no, no!
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    Dana: Oh, ho, ho!
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    Niff: Cause, then, there was CARL! Ooooh, Carl.
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    Dana: Oooohhhh, Carl!
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    Carl: Hot dog, my ears are ringing!
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    Dana: Carl, you are the WORST of them all!
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    Niff; Yeah, man! You too OLD to be working at McDonald's,
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    you hefty NUMBSKULL!
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    Dana: Yeah, Carl! You remind me of a DOLL,
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    no one wants to buy! So they just STOP making that doll, eventually!
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    Niff: Yeah, you a GOOFY GUS, Carl!
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    and NO ONE wants to come to your above ground pool..
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    Together: SO STOP ASKING!!
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    Dana: You a mushroom punk!
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    Niff: You a old boot!
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    Manager: Alright, Dana! Niff!
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    I-i'm not firing you! You're my top sellers,
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    and customers LOVE you! I'm firing Carl!
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    [Niff and Dana embarrassed]
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    Niff: oh, well now I feel like an old boot...
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    Dana: I'm sorry, Carl. That is tough.
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    I know you just bought that above ground pool...
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    Carl: Don't worry about me! Easy come, easy go! [ he waves goodbye and leaves]
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    Niff: Oh, such a good guy...
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    Dana: Yeah, yeah...
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    Niff: Alright, guys! Good meeting, okay? But those nuggets ain't gonna make themselves!
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    Dana: Yeah, hands in! McDonald's, on THREE!
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    Together: 1! 2! 3! [no one joins them]
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    Dana: That makes sense you didn't do that.
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    Niff: No, we get it! I understand. We said "Bitch!" a lot...
Title:
McDonald's Firing - Saturday Night Live
Description:

Subscribe to SaturdayNightLive: http://j.mp/1bjU39d
SEASON 38: http://j.mp/14jID07
Business Parodies: http://j.mp/168tEcR

Two McDonald's employees jump the gun when a firing is announced at a staff meeting. Aired 11/10/12
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Video Language:
English, British
Duration:
05:44

English subtitles

Revisions

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