State Legislatures and ALEC: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

[upbeat music]

[John Oliver]: If you've been near a
television recently, you've learned

exactly one thing:

the midterm elections are upon us.

[male anchor]: Two days to go

before the midterm elections,

all eyes are on them.

[Alex Witt]: The big question,

really the only question:

do the Democrats hold on to the majority?

[male anchor]: Can Republicans

take control of the U.S. Senate?

[male anchor]: Bottom line here is,

this is, as we say it every time,

one of the most important elections

in American history!

[John Oliver]: Oh, but I'm
serious this time!

Take your American history books,

burn them in the streets,

they're worthless after Tuesday!

Why, the Senate is up for grabs.

I repeat, the [bleep] Senate
is up for grabs!

All this crazy attention

on Congressional races is a little strange

for one important reason.

[male reporter]: This Congress,

with Republicans in charge of the House,

and Democrats in charge of the Senate,

is on track to be the least
productive in history!

[John Oliver]: This Congress is shaping up

to be the least productive in history.

Although, to be fair,

Congress is like jazz.

It's really about the
bills it's not passing.

It's also like jazz in that
most people hate it,

and anyone who says
they don't are lying.

And the Senate is likely
to remain inactive

no matter which party
controls it after Tuesday,

so why all this attention

on the national level,

where almost nothing is happening,

when down at the local level,

everything is happening?

That's right, tonight
we're going to talk

about the elections that
actually matter on Tuesday,

the ones for state legislatures,

and look, I know it can be hard

to take candidates for
state houses seriously,

partly because of their ridiculous ads.

[male narrator]: Senator Chuck Cogan

is fighting for you in Richmond.

[Tony Cochran]: I could
stand here and tell you

how I was born on a poultry farm...

[Duane Zobrist]: Together, we can
make West Virginia's economy take off.

[John Oliver]: That, that's

a great ad and I'll tell you why,

because you just inherently trust a guy

who wanders around
in public with a bird

on his hand.

Drape a snake around his shoulders,

you've got yourself a
President right there.

In Montana, one candidate
has an ad running

declaring his belief in the Constitution

over a shot of the Declaration of Independence

and what appears to be a photo

of an old man stabbing
a small child to death

with a flag.

That's a compelling image, yes,

but I don't know if you want to use it

for a political campaign.

The other problem is

whenever you do hear
about state legislatures,

it's usually because something
crazy has happened,

like a fist fight between two old men

in the Alabama Senate, or
a Florida state senator

looking at topless photos

during an abortion debate,

or this California Assemblyman

discussing his sex life
into a live microphone.

[audience laughter]

[John Oliver]: Ugh.

It's not really a surprise

that you made that mistake
with a microphone.

You don't seem like
someone who can tell

whether something's
turned on or not.

[applause]

And even when lawmakers
are doing their jobs,

things can actually get worse.

[Annie Imanuel]: A Florida lawmaker

is pushing forward tonight

with his plan to repeal
a ban on dwarf tossing.

[Rep. Ritch Workman]: I've spoken to
doctors and lawyers and CFOs

that are little people.

They can make their own decision,

and this state said, "no, you can't,

we'll make it for you."

[John Oliver]: Okay.

Individual rights aside,
let's all just agree,

that if it happened in
the "Wolf of Wall Street,"

it should not be legal.

And of course, sometimes you'll hear

about state legislators because
of something insane

they've said, like Sally Kern
from Oklahoma.

[Sally Kern]: Is this just because

they're black that they're in prison,

or could it be because they didn't want to

work hard in school?

And white people often times

don't want to work hard in school,

or Asians often times,

but a lot of times, that's what happens.

I taught school for 20 years,

and I saw a lot of people of color

who didn't want to work as hard.

They wanted it given to them.

[John Oliver]: Look Sally,

if you're going to be that
racist in public,

there's really no need for you

to use the term "people of color."

African Americans are not listening

to everything you just said.

They're going, "lazy? Hey!"

"In prison? Hey!"

"People of color?"

"Well that is nice, that balances it out."

"That's basically clear now."

And she's not the only one

in the Oklahoma House speaking her crazy mind.

[John Oliver]: I do not doubt that.

The phrase "Islam is a cancer"

is not usually associated with people

who are open to new ideas or arguments.

The point is, is it any wonder

state legislatures are perceived

as circuses, when they
give us footage like this?

[Rep. Mike Bost]: These damn
bills are coming here

all the damn time!

Come out here at the last second!

I gotta try to figure out

how to vote for my people?

I'm sick of it!

Every year!

Enough!

I feel like somebody

trying to be released from Egypt.

Let my people go!

[cheering and applause]

[John Oliver]: If Moses

had said "let my people go" like that,

I'm pretty sure Pharaoh would
have said, "fine, Moses,

"I'll let them go! Just
calm the [bleep] down."

Look, state legislatures are hilarious.

There's only one problem:

increasingly, they're the places

where most legislation
is actually taking place.

So far this session,
Congress has passed

just 185 laws.

State legislatures have passed

more than 24,000.

I'm starting to realize why that guy

was getting so angry.

I'd hit a bill, too, if I knew

there were 24,000 of them.

There's too many!

It's too many!

It's too many bills!

And look, look, look,

sure.

Some of those bills were meaningless,

like Missouri declaring jumping jacks

their official state exercise.

Incidentally, New York's official
state exercise: kegels.

[straining noises]

But look, but look,

not all state laws are so silly.

Some have profound impact.

Legislatures are sometimes called

the laboratories of democracy.

Sometimes their experiments are great,

like raising the minimum wage

like these states have done,

or overturning bans on
gay marriage like these,

but other times, state laws
can go a different way.

[Melissa Harris-Perry]: Between
2011 and 2013,

individual states passed more
than 200 abortion restrictions,

more than the entire previous decade.

[John Oliver]: That's right, in fact,

a law which passed in Mississippi

is so restrictive, it could close

the one remaining abortion clinic

they have in the entire state,

meaning a Mississippi woman right now

could be saying to herself,

"I need to go someplace more progressive,

like Alabama."

[audience laughter]

State Houses do a huge amount of work

while no one is watching,

from abortion, to gun control,

to environmental legislation,

and yet, admit it,

you probably don't know

who your state legislator is.

Which means all those
conspiracy theories

about a shadow government
are actually true,

only it's not a group of billionaires

meeting in a mountain lair in Zurich,

it's a bunch of pasty bureaucrats

meeting in a windowless
committee room

in Lansing, Michigan.

So we took a look

at state legislatures this week,

and the first surprising thing

was that no two are alike

because just as each state

has a treasured regional cuisine,

from Maryland's Chesapeake blue crabs

to Florida's half a Cubano sandwich

wrestled away from a dirty Pelican,

each state has its own way of governing.

For start, they range wildly in size,

from 49 lawmakers in Nebraska

to 424 in New Hampshire.

424!

Sparta fended off Persia

with only 300 people,

and for some reason, New
Hampshire needs 424

to issue a [bleep] leafy stamp!

And while some operate year round,

others are very much part time.

Utah, for instance,

has just one 45-day session per year.

That's a not Congress,

that's a summer camp,

except instead of eating 'smores

and throwing sticks at possums,

they're passing laws restricting

a woman's right to choose,

and throwing sticks at possums.

But whether they're full time or part time,

there is one thing most state houses

have in common:

a shocking lack of oversight.

For instance, when it comes
to conflicts of interest,

generally, lawmakers are supposed to

recuse themselves from voting on bills

that would give them a
direct financial benefit.

You're essentially asking
state legislators

to practice self control,

remember, legislators like this guy.

[Rep. Mike Bost]: Let my people go!

[John Oliver]: Okay!

So let's look at that in action.

Hawaii's state house is part-time,

and one of its member, Joe Souki,

had a side job collecting $24,000

dollars a year as a consultant

to a plastics trade association.

So when Hawaii was considering imposing

a fee for plastic bags,

the onus was on him to reveal
his conflict of interest.

Let's see how that played out.

[Speaker of the House]: What is your conflict?

[John Oliver]: What?

What do you mean there's no conflict?

He was being paid by
the plastics industry.

Unless in Hawaii, conflict of interest

means both "conflict of interest"

and "not a conflict of
interest," you know,

like how "aloha" means
"hello" and "goodbye,"

that's the only [bleep]
acceptable explanation!

Now, to be fair, most states
have ethics commissions,

but an investigation into
how effective they are

gave grades of D or F

to 28 out of 41 of them,
and remember,

if you fail an ethics test,
that's doubly bad,

because there's no [bleep] way

you didn't attempt to cheat on it.

And yet, and yet somehow,

with lax rules and terrible oversight,

some state legislators still manage

to get in trouble.

[male anchor]: In Massachusetts,

three successive
Speakers of the House

have been indicted or convicted,

not to mention the lawmaker

who took a bribe from an FBI undercover,

and stuffed the cash in her bra.

[John Oliver]: Stuffing bribe money in a bra

is sad for two reasons.

One, you're corrupt,

but two, the amount of money

it took to corrupt you

fits inside your bra.

Meanwhile, meanwhile,

out in California, State Senator Leland Ye

was arrested in March on charges

of arms trafficking and wire fraud,

to which he's pled not guilty,

but that's not even the
most interesting part.

[female anchor]: Ye was
arrested Wednesday

along with suspected
Chinatown gang figure

Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow.

[John Oliver]: Okay, okay.

So first, that's amazing.

And secondly, how is that

the photo they used

of Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow,

when this one also exists?

Where he looks like an early-90s

Steven Seagal movie villain?

Come on, news!

Why would Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow

have a photo like that taken of him

unless he wanted it used

when he was inevitably arrested

for arms trafficking one day?

Do the right thing!

And some state legislators

get in trouble in the most
pathetic possible way.

Take Rhode Island's Dominick Ruggerio,

whose political career managed

to weather him being
arrested for allegedly

shoplifting condoms from a CVS

at the age of 41

while in office, and who in 2012,

was pulled over on suspicion
of drunk driving.

[Tim White]: When police were questioning

State Senator Dominick Ruggerio,

his senate colleague Frank Ciccone
pulled up to the scene.

Ciccone allegedly told
one of the patrolmen,

[John Oliver]: It happened, everyone.

I think we just hit peak Rhode Island.

Think about it, a legislator

called Ruggerio being
pulled over by police,

while a fellow lawmaker called Ciccone

swears at them about pensions.

The only way that could be
more Rhode Island

is if they were all somehow clams.

And yet, you have to remember,

all the people you've seen
were elected to bodies

where legislation actually gets passed.

A lot.

And whilst most people
may ignore these bodies,

corporations certainly don't.

In fact, they've taken advantage

through a group called ALEC,

and yes, ALEC sounds like the name

of a high school lacrosse player

who just got baked and wrecked

his dad's Saab.

But incredibly, it's actually even worse.

[male anchor]: For more than 30 years,

a private, tax-exempt organization

called the American
Legislative Exchange Counsel,

ALEC, has brought state lawmakers,

conservative think tanks,

and corporate interests together

to write model legislation

to be introduced and passed

in state houses across the country.

[John Oliver]: It's basically

a conservative bill mill,

which has helped develop
model legislation

from Arizona's notorious
SB 1070 Immigration Bill,

to bills expanding private prisons,

payday loan companies,

and for-profit colleges,

all of which we've talked about

on this very show.

In fact, I'm going to list
ALEC in the credits

for our show as associate producer

of creating horrifying things

for us to talk about!

Great work, ALEC.

See you at the end of
season wrap party,

you pieces of shit.

[applause]

The thing is, ALEC is everywhere.

Roughly one in four state
legislators are members,

and it's not hard to see why.

ALEC makes their jobs troublingly easy.

Here's their model
electricity freedom bill,

which at one point says,

"be it therefore enacted

that the state of insert state

repeals the renewable energy mandate."

So, as long as you can
remember and spell

the name of your state,

you can introduce legislation,

and I think it's fair to say

that most of the people we've seen

so far tonight could probably do that.

And some legislators don't
even bother hiding

ALEC's fingerprints.

Just watch a Minnesota lawmaker

get confronted by one if his colleagues.

[Rep. Joe Atkins]: I'm just curious,

does the legislation have some

connection to ALEC?

[Rep. Steve Gottwalt]: Representative Atkins,

I'm not sure why we're pursuing
this course of questioning.

This bill is my bill.

It's not ALEC's bill.

[Rep. Joe Atkins]: Well,
the reason I ask

is because earlier you
passed out a handout

that says Gottwalt at the top,

and it says healthcare compact

and there's a logo right in the middle

of that page, and I went

to the ALEC website, and there's
exactly the same font,

the same size, and the same logo.

I mean, literally, it's verbatim.

[John Oliver]: Look,

I hate to sound like
Billy Baldwin's agent,

but you can't just copy everything

that ALEC does.

[audience laughter and applause]

It's pathetic.

[audience cheering]

At this point, at this point, it's clear,

between the bad behavior
and the lack of accountability,

state are not so much the laboratories

of democracy, as the frat
houses of democracy.

And yet, they get no attention.

Perhaps, that's because

it's very hard for us to be angry

with people whose names
we don't know.

And if you're thinking, "well, okay,

now I'll pay more attention before
going to vote on Tuesday,"

that's great!

Unfortunately, for many of you,

it's too late because an estimated 25%

of the candidates on Tuesday

are running unopposed.

Their sole political asset

is that they exist, and
they're going to win.

So with that in mind,

with that in mind let's
call some races.

Because you know what?

Even though polls don't close
for another two days,

and most people haven't
even started voting yet,

with zero percent of
precincts reporting,

we can call some winners.

So let's do it. Let's do it!

[audience cheering]

Remember the Florida dwarf-tossing guy?

His name is Ritch Workman.

He's running unopposed, so he wins.

And remember the lady in Oklahoma

with the interesting theories
on black prison population?

Winner!

The "Islam is a cancer" guy?

Winner!

The alleged drunk-driving
Rhode Island

condom thief and his angry friend?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

And this is just the beginning

because we can call over a thousand races

across America.

He's a winner!

She's a winner!

All these people are winners!

So congratulations to all of you

for defeating the very concept of nothing!

Congratulations, one and all!

We look forward to you wielding

a terrifying amount of influence

for the next several years!

Savor the knowledge

that no one will be paying any attention.