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[dramatic music]
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[phone ringing]
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Woman: Hello, Umbrella Broadband,
how can I help you?
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Man: Ahem. I -- I'm c-c- calling
a-bout mm-m-m-
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W: Hello?
Sir, can you hear me?
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M: m-m-my
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W: Hello?
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Sir, are you there?
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- bill.
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[phone is hung up -- dial tone]
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Hi, my name's Greenwood.
I'm calling about my bill.
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W: You're through to Umbrella Broadband.
Thank you for holding.
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Your call is important to us.
[quiet music growing louder]
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Please wait, and a customer service
representative will be with you shortly.
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You're through to Umbrella Broadband.
Thank you for holding.
-
Your call is important to us.
-
Please wait, and a customer service
representative will be with you shortly.
-
You're through to Umbrella Broadband.
Thank you for holding.
-
Your call is important to us.
-
Please wait, and a customer service --
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[computer beep]
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[beeping of notifications as they type]
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[quiet music]
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Snap judgement 1,224:
Year 11 student, flaky but loyal.
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Received first-ever blowjob two nights ago.
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Current mood: ecstatic.
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Music. Music. Music. Music. Music's
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the pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.
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Music's the pleasure.
Counting. Counting. Counting.
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Counting. Counting. Counting.
Pleasure. Pleasure.
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Music. Music. Music.
Music's the pleasure.
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Dad?
- Mm-hm?
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Mm-mm- music's
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the pleasure. The.
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Human soul.
Ex -experiences from c-c-
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c-c- counting.
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W-w-without being aware
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it's c-c-c-counting.
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Mm!
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I like that one.
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Woman: Please wait, and a customer service
representative will be with you shortly.
-
You're through to Umbrella Broadband.
[computer notification sound]
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Thank you for holding.
Your call is important to us.
-
Please wait, and a customer service
representative will be with you shortly.
-
You're through to Umbrella Broadband.
Thank you for holding.
-
Your call is important to us.
-
Please wait, and a customer service
representative will be with you shortly.
-
[quiet music as message repeats
in background]
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Dad on phone: ... with someone who
... in touch with my son,
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but your company is not
communicating with him.
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So would you please either communicate
with me, or get in touch with my son?
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This seems to be the problem. The website
is not able to access email.
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Otherwise I wouldn't be ringing you,
would I?
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[television sports match] Absolute
wonderful header but ...
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Snap judgement 1,225:
Charity worker.
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Dependable, funny,
but quiet in large groups.
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Dreams of escaping to Buenos Aires
to set up a wine bar.
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Loves words.
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Hates, despises text speak.
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OK. Hey El, sorry I'm only getting
back to you now.
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Amazing that you're in London.
I'd love to meet with you,
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but the thing is, my bloody cousins
are visiting, and I ...
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No no no no ...
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[sighs]
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Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me
where the Blue Swan Cafe is, please?
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Blue Swan Cafe?
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Oh, oh god, I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
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Man: Blue Swan, sure. Through the
crossroads, second left, you can't miss it.
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What am I doing?
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Hi. So sorry I haven't gotten back to you.
If you're still in London,
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and, by some chance, still want
to meet me, I'd love to meet you.
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Yours sincerely,
world's biggest dickhead.
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Send.
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Man arguing with woman:
What've I done, huh?
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I just don't fuckin' trust you.
Woman: You don't trust me?!
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Man: No, of course I fuckin' don't.
Woman: Why don't you trust me?
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Man: Well, 'cause of what you're like.
Woman: What am I like?!
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The fuck you starin' at him
like that for, huh?
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Woman: I wasn't staring at him!
Man: Yes you fuckin' were! I saw you!
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W: I wasn't staring at him!
M: I fucking saw you!
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W: I wasn't staring at him!
M: What is the matter with you?!
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[both continue yelling]
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Don't fuck me around, OK?
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The fuck d'you want?!
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[whispers] H. I. J. K.
LMNOP.
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Television: The real, hard-earned
and hard-won kind of thing
-
about getting that story just working,
y'know, and strong and believable, logical.
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Snap Judgement 1,226: Reclusive typographer.
Invisible to the naked eye.
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Communication skills of an infant.
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Excels in the art of self-pity.
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[computer notification]
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Ellie! Hello, hi. Great to have --
nice to finally meet you in person.
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[many phrases overlapping] Great to have --
nice to finally meet you in person --
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flowers -- Ellie! -- finally meet you in
person -- so great -- nice to meet you --
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amazing to finally meet you -- these are
for you -- I got you these --
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I bought these -- here's something for you.
Feels like a first date -- I know --
-
it is a first date -- cosmetic surgery --
yeah, had a little bit of work on --
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oh god, do I look like a serial killer? --
I'm not a serial killer --
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here's something -- I was worried --
I was gonna give you flowers --
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I got you something, it's a book --
I had flowers -- Salinger --
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too cheesy -- six months, it's crazy --
I now realize it's probably just --
-
cheesy -- meeting in person --
finally meet you --
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great -- I'm really sorry -- I thought --
sorry, I was worried --
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I don't know what I was thinking --
[unintelligible jumble of words]
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[words stop suddenly]
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[very faint] Q. R. S. T. U. V.
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W. X. Y. Z.
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A. B. C. D. E. F. G.
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H. I. J. K. L.
M. N. O. P.
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Q. R. S. T. U. V.
W. X. Y.
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Z.
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[music]
