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The Trial
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Do you remember the time I betrayed you in the cactus jungle ?
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You bet I remember! I couldn't sit for two months!
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We've had some great moments with you, boss.
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It's true we made a terrific team. Here, to us!
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By the way, Papycha, how did you all become friends?
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Oh, that, Joris, is another story, and for now it is time to...
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Well, to order a new round of drinks because telling it to you will make me very thirsty!
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[Photo album]
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At the time, I lived in Bonta.
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Every day, I would go to court to hear Judge Lou's sweet voice.
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Guiltyyy!
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Every day I got to admire her kind face...
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Sadly, I also had to put up with the prosecutor, my lifelong rival, Indie.
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Straight without appeal - you are perfection in the form of a judge, my dear!
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Oh, it was easy, you are soconvincing when you explain a case.
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Yahoo! Fantastic sentence! Bravo!
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The prosecution, however... meh.
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I found it sluggish, labored, and barely passable as far as the demonstration is concerned.
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There must be a lot of innocents in Bonta's jail as we speak?
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I could have you sentenced for contempt, cookie eater,
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but I will let this one slide since I have a feeling you're about to do something even dumber -
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let's play a little game!
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I bet I can convict anyone under your defense!
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Is that so? And I bet I can disculpate anyone against you!
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It works every time...
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The defendants I would have to work with were the Croninos gang.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the Court of Bonta, presided by the Honorable Judge Lou.
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Prosecution will be made by Mr. Indie Delagrandeaventure.
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The defendants: Kanigrou, Tortue Brutale and Crocosec!
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Their defense will be overseen by Mr. Crispin.
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Case number one.
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Tortue Brutale.
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Prosecution, please begin.
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Mr. Tortue Brutale, you are an expert in explosives, is that right?
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Yup.
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Is it true that you recently opened an account in every bank of this city?
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Yup.
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And that these same banks were blown up in turn because of explosives you planted there?
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Yup.
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Thank you. Your honor, I just demonstrated that we are faced with a culprit of the worst kind:
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A public menace!
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Objection!
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Denied.
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We will now hear the defense.
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Yes, you would do well to protest, for you have been fooled!
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By an old, shaggy skinbag!
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Objection!
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Sustained. Bailiff, please remove "old skinbag" from the record.
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Remove... Skinbag...
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Mr. Brutale...
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Yup.
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Do you recognize these contracts, Mr. Brutale?
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Yup.
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Would the skinbag... no, I mean the prosecutor, please read the text at the bottom of this page?
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Of course not, at your age, you would need a magnifying glass to read.
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Well it is written here: "indestructible safe!"
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Were they indestructible, those safes that dishonest banks rented to my client?
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No! They were junk!
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There you go!
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Before he fell prey to that incompetent prosecutor, my client fell victim to a scam!
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But now, thanks to him, people will be able to put their savings in safer banks!
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Banks with much stronger safes!
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Hm... All things considered, I have nothing to add, your honor.
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What!?
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Next case.
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The defendant, Kanigrou, and his three victims.
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So, while you were quietly walking through town,
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you were savagely attacked by a stranger in a fury -
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correct me if I'm wrong.
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Can you identify that brainless brute in this courthouse?
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Please note that the victims are pointing to this savage,
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whose feral eyes are filled with madness!
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The proof is overwhelming, and the defense can go ahead and beg for mercy.
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Yes, I could ask for mercy, but I could also...
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Invoke self-defense!
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Mr. Kanigrou, tell us in detail the events of that day.
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Well, actually, it happened like this:
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I was quietly reading a book on philosophy, and they wanted to rob me.
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I tried to dissuade them peacefully, but they got angry.
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Meow! What rascals! And what did you do?
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Well, I pacified them.
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Violence is wrong.
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Here is a man, a wise man, no - a saint! who stands alone against violence,
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the scourge of today's society - and what does he get in return?
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Aw yeah! Right on the defense!
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Thank you, young citizen. The people's justice will prevail!
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Sustained.
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Case number three, Crocosec.
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Calumny! Discord!
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By giving away our fellow citizens' secrets,
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this monster gave way to disputes and dissent!
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Truly, I say to you, if we do not stop him, he may even do it again!
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Objection!
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I am certain that he will do it again.
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Everything fine, Crocosec?
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The judge sleeps with a full-size Bunny Wabbit plushy!
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What!?
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My brother Tortue has explosives hidden under his shell!
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The king of Bonta always wears his pants inside out!
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But that's no secret!
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I haven't brushed mah teeth in a month!
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The horror!
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Last week the judge went on a date with the prosecutor Indie,
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and he was wearing a Bow Meow's collar!
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Enough!
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And she had a bone at her neck, and she called him mama's Bow Wow!
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And the prosecutor even did his business on the plaza once!
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GUARDS!
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My brother Kanigrou eats his boogers!
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See. See this man, hurt, wounded, desperate.
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A man for whom the need to betray is as irresistible as the need to pee...
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And tell me, verily, in good conscience, if we can condemn a man whose only crime...
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is to be ill?
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The plea is over, let us conclude.
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I must admit that, faced with such madness, brutality, deceit and bad faith,
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the humble and honest citizen that I strive to be is shaken.
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I turn to you, Honorable Judge Lou, and implore you to shed the light of your wisdom,
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your intelligence, and your beauty on me...
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Because looking at these three devils, three words come to my mind:
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Guilty! Guilty! And guilty!
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And I see no other solution to protect us all...
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than to sentence them to life in the salt mines!
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The defendants are found guilty, unanimously.
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Your honor! Hey! Your honor!
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The defense gets the last word.
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Wow. What then?
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Even though I would have hated to admit it,
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I had to accept that Indie did better than me.
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But I was going to do even better!
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I began a plea unlike any plea heard in court before -
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and unlike any plea a court will ever hear again.
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I brought forth the greatest philosophers...
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I made of that trial, the trial of a society.
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The trial of an era - no, the trial of a world!
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It was so beautiful that they were all disculpated.
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There you have it, my little Jojo.
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What a liar! It didn't go like that at all!
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Actually, the boss bought our freedom with an adventure cruise to Kanniball Island!
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The defendants are acquitted!
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In your whiskers, wet nose!
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Who's the Bow Meow now, huh?
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Where's the Bow Meow that got your tongue?
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Contempt of court! Contempt of court!
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Kerub Crispin, I sentence you to four months in jail.
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At least I know you won't change your mind about the cruise...
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Imagine! Four months in jail, a Bow Meow of my rank!
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And what is that picture, Papycha?
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After all, the four months in jail were shorter than expected...
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We couldn't leave your Papycha in trouble after everything he'd done for us.
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Ha! I've rarely seen such weak prison doors!
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We paid a little visit to Kerub.
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His sentence was shortened, and from that day he became our boss.
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Too cool!
