Cem Yılmaz | Bir dahaki sefere kralsın be oğlum.

Cem Yılmaz - CMYLMZ (2007) Gösterisinden "Bir dahaki sefere kralsın be oğlum." bölümü.

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People's beliefs are none of my bussines. You worship to cream cheese if you want!

but... People who worship to monkeys- do exist!

How one can worship to a monkey? What you can ask from it?

"I worshipped you for years!", "Here, your reward; banana!"

What the hell is that?

uh... Since it's their belief, you can't say anything!

They have elephant-headed god.

There are 30.000 gods in Hinduism. We can't handle one here!

Thirty thousand. I saw one elephant-headed waving it's hand

It was a hydraulic model of it-

waves hand to the believers. It says Philips behind of it!

They believe reincarnation there.

Caste system you know, even the ancestors are poor.

So they built the system that fits them; "I'm poor", "Next time you're a king bro!"

"senatatiiii" Yeah right, make believe!

Now, do you believe... "I'll incarnate"

You survived death, it's a different subject

We'll come to that, wait a second

They say "I've seen a light", That's the effect of cotton piece which they put up your ass

You haven't seen the light yet. I hope you won't see it soon

When they put it, it flashes!

That's the light!

Death...

People fear ;"What are they gonna ask me afterlife?"

What's this panic? Are you the only one who will be questioned?

Tell you what, they're gonna ask about tonight for sure!

I'll say "Sir, I spoke and they laughed, that one also!"

You shouldn't have laughed

I don't care. This is my thing, I have to tell stuff.

Everyone is frightened about it

"What's gonna happen?" Bro, everyone will be there! Even..

the first human being existed. I've seen this on newspaper;

about how many people lived and died until now

150 billions of people lived and died. In four thousand years

Imagine

everyone is there EVERYONE, you know the first tribes...

"What will they ask to me?" C'mon, first tribes will be there, they're

in much trouble; They don't even know the subject!

Charity, arms and...?

I can't see any offerings to god? [Islamic nessecities]

Everyone bitch out of course

Insulting the tribe-chief;"You made us dance around fire"

and now?

"Don't let anyone notice us"

You can easily recognize our people [from turkey]

With a Bauhaus bag with him

plastic bag!

Everyone wants to go to heaven!

Right? Sure! Does any person here thinks that he's/she's going to hell?

No one can think this way; "I'ts certain that I'm gonna burn in hell!"

"I'm gonna have an impalement!" Everyone thinks

they're gonna be rewarded.

and in most of beliefs, after death

you're going to be rewarded. And you'll taste things you've never tasted before.

I hope (Inchallah) not ALL of them.

If we're going to taste all of them... You know...

"Eh, since you're dead, let's..."

"We're not THAT dead."

"I'm not dead yet!"

"Let me!"

Everyone wants to go to heaven

My suggestion is, since it's crowded [judgement day] when you see the sign

You should move your ass a little, step by step

Of course you will see our people[from turkey] there doing that

C'mon dude, c'mon my man

Birol! We're here bro!

Yeah, excuse me

"This place for christians"; "Okay man...

..so what?" It would end up with a fight

Because heaven

offers you everything beatiful, nice, good you know

and the other side; you burn! Who prefers that?

You'll burn but not like that flames and stuff that you see in movies

You'll burn a little, and then you go to heaven. Because

you know a tanned skin is cool

In heaven, it's lame to be like that..white... You have to

tan a little first, It would be cool

"Where were you?", "Sup daddy, we were at hell you know"

Where's avocados and pineapples?

Nice tropical fruits...

So you don't pay for your sins inside flames

like this. There's a smart-oven, you go inside

Of course, high-tech stuff. They type in your sins

These are your sins, go inside bro

What the?

And a video-screen in front of you, they put your tape

May 2nd 1987, - Making a move on your wife's sister

It's montage!

Of course it is montage!

You're burning because of that mounting!

Everyone will relax a little, burn a little.

It's hard to agree...