Jack Webb - "What is a Cop?" Famous speech from "The Big Interrogation."

Jack Webb giving his greatest performance of all time in the episode "The Big Interrogation" starring a very young Kent McCord of Adam-12 fame.

- In other words, you're a college man.

She'd like to have seen you land a job

with a little more status
attached to it, is that it?

- I guess that's part of it.

- But not all of it?

I think maybe I can
understand how she feels.

And maybe she's right, Culver.

It's awkward having a
policeman around the house.

Friends drop in, a man with
a badge answers the door.

The temperature drops 20 degrees.

You throw a party and the
badge gets in the way.

All of a sudden, there isn't
a straight man in the crowd.

Everybody's a comedian.

"Don't drink to much" somebody says

or the man with a badge will run you in.

Or "How's it going, Dick Tracy?"

"How many jaywalkers did you pinch today?"

And then there's always the one wants

to know how many apples you stole.

All at once you lost your first name.

You're a cop, a flat foot,
a bull, a dick, John Law.

You're the fuzz, the heat.

You're poison.

You're trouble.

You're bad news.

They call you everything.

But never a Policeman.

Maybe she's right.

It's not much of a life
unless you don't mind missing

a Dodger game because
the hotshot phone rings.

Unless you like working
Saturdays, Sundays, Holidays

at a job that doesn't pay overtime.

Oh, the pay's adequate.

If you count your pennies,

you can put your kid through college.

But you better plan on seeing
Europe on your television set.

Then there's your first night on the beat,

when you try to arrest
a drunken prostitute

in a main street bar

and she rips your new uniform to shreds.

You'll buy another one
out of your own pocket.

And you're going to rub
elbows with all the elite-

pimps, addicts, thieves, bums, winos,

girls who can't keep an
address, and men who don't care.

Liars, cheats, con men,
the class of skid row.

And the heartbreak.

Underfed kids, beaten kids,
molested kids, lost kids,

crying kids, homeless
kids, hit and run kids,

broken arm kids, broken
leg kids, broken head kids,

sick kids, dying kids, dead kids.

The old people that nobody
wants, the reliefers,

the pensioners, the ones
who walk the street cold,

and those that try to keep warm and died

in a three dollar room with
an unvented gas heater.

You'll walk your beat and
try to pick up the pieces.

Do you have real adventure
in your soul, Culver?

You better have.

'Cause you're going to
do time in a prowl car.

Oh, it's going to be a thrill a minute

when you get an unknown trouble call

and hit a backyard at two in the morning.

Never knowing who you'll meet.

A kid with a knife, a pillhead
with a gun, or two ex-cons

with nothing to lose.

And you're going to have
plenty of time to think.

You'll draw duty in a lonely
car with nobody to talk

but your radio.

Four years in uniform,
you'll have the ability,

the experience, and maybe
the desire to be a Detective.

If you like to fly by
the seat of your pants,

this is where you belong.

For every crime that's committed,

you've got three millions
suspects to choose from.

Most of the time, you'll have few facts

and a lot of hunches.

You'll run down leads
that dead-end on you.

You'll work all night stake-outs
that could last a week.

You'll do leg work until
your sure you've talked

to everybody in the state of California.

People who saw it happen
but really didn't.

People who insist they
did it but really didn't.

People who remember,
those who try to forget.

Those who tell the truth, those who lie.

You'll run the files until your eyes ache.

And paperwork?

Oh you'll fill out a
report when you're right.

You'll fill out a report
when you're wrong.

You'll fill one out when you're not sure.

You'll fill one out listing your leads.

You'll fill one out
when you have no leads.

You'll make out report on
the reports you've made.

You'll write enough words in your lifetime

to stock a library.

You'll learn to live with
doubt, anxiety, frustration,

court decisions that tend to
hinder rather than help you-

Dorado, Moore, Escobedo, Cahan.

You'll learn to live with
the District Attorney,

testifying in court, Defense Attorneys,

prosecuting Attorneys,
Judges, juries, witnesses.

And sometimes you're not going
to be happy with the outcome.

Maybe your girlfriend's right, Culver.

But there's also this.

There are over 5000 men
in this city who know

that being a Policemen is
an endless, glamorless,

thankless job that's gotta be done.

I know it too.

And I'm damn glad to be one of them.