Jimmy Interviews Melania Trump's Body Double

Jimmy Fallon's monologue from Monday, October 23.

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Jimmy Interviews Melania Trump's Body Double
http://www.youtube.com/fallontonight

Here's what people
are talking about.

Some news out of Washington.

President Trump announced
that he's releasing

thousands of files on JFK

even though they were
already set to be released.

[ Laughter ]

And he said,
"Not only that,

I'm declaring October 31st
Halloween."

[ Laughter and applause ]
"I'm doing it. That's right.

We'll all be saying
'Merry Halloween' again.

[ Laughter ]

This is kind of crazy.
There was a conspiracy theory.

Did you see this
going around that Melania --

Melania Trump had been replaced
with a body double?

Did you hear this?
[ Laughter ]

It's a rumor, but some people

are pointing
to these photos as proof.

Take a look.
So, the woman on the left

they say is fake Melania,

and the woman on the right
is real Melania.

But it didn't help
that Donald Trump was saying --

Well, he said this
while standing with her. Watch.

-We will be doing that.

My wife, Melania,
who happens to be right here.

[ Laughter ]

-Why would you say that?

-Why'd he need to say that?
-Why would anyone ever --

"She happens to really be really
here, so it's not a hologram.

It's a real person, so...

It's a human being.
There's no way --

Now I'm gonna walk through her.

I'm gonna walk --
-Zwwwm!

-Maybe -- Do I have a twin?
I don't know."

[ Laughter ]

"It's like David Copperfield

walking through
the Great Wall of 'Gyna.'"

[ Laughter and applause ]

"She may be real.
She may not be real.

Well, the story
turned out to be false,

but there are other theories
about people in the White House

that are
still being talked about.

For instance --
These are rumors.

-Rumors.

-There's a rumor that
Attorney General Jeff Sessions

is actually a gnome
from the Rose Garden

that comes to life
during the daytime.

-Really?
-These are rumors.

-That's a rumor.

That's not true.
That's just a rumor.

-There's a rumor
that Senator Mitch McConnell

was replaced by a sad faucet.

[ Laughter ]
-Really?

-How could I prove it?
-I'll disprove it.

It's just a rumor.
-It's a rumor.

-It's just hearsay.
-Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

Finally, it is rumored
that President Trump's tie

is actually just
a Fruit By The Foot.

-Really?
-He eats it --

He can eat his tie.

-It gets longer?
-"An edible tie.

Happy hallo-istmas."
[ Laughter ]

-Gosh.

But this story really blew up,
so we actually got in touch --

"The Tonight Show" -- we got in
touch with the real Melania,

and she agreed
to talk to us tonight,

right now,
to clear things up.

Melania, are you there?

-Hi, Jimmy.
Yes.

Hi, yes.

I am very happy to be here.

-Yeah.
-Yes.

-Yeah.
Well, I've never met you before.

I have to say,
you seem a little different.

-Huh? Me?
No I'm just old me.

Me, Melan--
"Me," short for "Melania."

[ Laughter ]

-"Me" is short --
"Me" is short for "Melania."

Yeah, I know that.
-Yeah.

-Me -- are you Melania,
or are you a body double?

-I'm a -- I'm a Melania.

-Okay.

Okay, well, look, just to
make our audience comfortable

and prove
that you're not a body double,

I'm going
to ask you some questions

that only
the real Melania would know.

Are you okay with that?

-Uh, yeah, sure.
Yeah, definitely.

I want to answer your questions,
and I can.

[ Laughter ]

-That doesn't count
as a question.

You're already getting nervous.
-Okay.

-Now, our first question --

-First of three?

-I don't know how many.
[ Laughter ]

-How many questions?
-I don't know the first --

-How many questi--
Okay.

-All right. Let's just start
with the first one.

-Okay, fine.
-"First of three."

I don't know.

What is the name of the city
where you were born?

-Slo-- Slov-- Uh, Slov--

-Yeah. Slovakia.
-What did you say?

Did you say Slovakia?

-Yes, I said Slovakia,
but that's the country.

-That was the answer.

[ Laughter ]

-There's no way of --
But --

-Did you say that?
-Did I --

-Yeah, I did say that,
but I asked you the question.

-Oh, you were wrong?

[ Laughter ]

-No, no, I --
I wasn't wrong, but...

Let's just go
to the next question.

-Okay.
Okay, redo, redo, redo.

[ Laughter ]

-Melania,
where in the White House

is the First Lady's office?

-It's in the attic.

[ Laughter ]

-Okay. Now, this is --
I don't know.

Is there an --
-There's an attic above the --

There's how many floors?

-Uh...
Three? I have no --

-Yeah, three.

I was gonna say three,
and three plus an attic.

That's where
they keep the woman --

That's me.
[ Laughter ]

-The First Lady.

Last question -- as First Lady,

what have you said
are your three main goals?

-There's three?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, three.

Just three main goals.

-Three main goals.

-They have to be the main goals,
not the side goals.

[ Laughter ]
-No.

Just give me
three of the main ones.

-Oh, yeah,
three of the main ones.

Sure, sure, I thought --

Okay. I was ju--
I thought, "Who...?"

Uh, b-bullying.

S-Stop it.

[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, yeah, thank you, Melania.

-Sugar.
Keep eating it.

[ Laughter ]
And, uh...

-Your goal
is to keep eating sugar?

-You know,
and m-make sure you remember...

-Yes.
-...friendship is real.

-Okay.
Thank you very much.

Melania --
the real Melania Trump.

Friendship is real.
Oh, yeah, there you go.

Your glasses.

Doesn't even know
how to put on glasses.

Okay. Very good.

Silly.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

[ Applause ]

What?
-What?

-Did you guys see this?

I saw that CNN released a new ad
today where they use fruit

to say how they stick to the
facts and the president doesn't.

Did you see this?
-Yeah.

-The apple? Check it out
if you didn't see it.

[ Laughter ]

-Well, President Trump
actually released

his own response to the ad.

[ Laughter ]

Take a look at this.

Fake fruit?
-Fake fruit?

-What is he talking about?

[ Cheers and applause ]

-"Walnut."

-I want to say congratulations
to the John Stamos,

who just got engaged
to his girlfriend.

Hey, John, congratulations.
[ Cheers and applause ]

That's right. She's just 31,
and he's somehow still 31.

He just doesn't --
The guy can't age.

He looks fantastic.

That's right.
John Stamos is getting married.

I heard he's got a pretty good
wedding deejay -- D.J. Tanner.

-Oh.
-Oh, hey, hey!

Hey-oh!
Hey!

-Guys, I saw that
"Boo 2! A Madea Halloween"

finished first at the box office
this weekend.

That's right.

Tyler Perry's
really busy these days

'cause he's also Melania
Trump's body double.

-Really?
[ Laughter and applause ]

-Check this out, you guys.

Developers are working on
a hyper loop

that could get you
from Washington D.C.

to New York City
in just 29 minutes.

[ Audience "Oohs" ]

And once you're here,
you can take a subway

from Penn Station
to Times Square

in just four hours.
-Wow!

[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]

Chhhh!

-This is pretty weird.

I heard that people in Hawaii
are stealing cans of spam

and reselling them.

So if you think
you're having a rough day,

imagine being the guy waiting on
the corner for his spam dealer.

He's like,
"Where is this guy?

Come on.
Where is this guy?

Come on, get here, man!"
[ Applause ]

And, finally,
I read that a couple in Orlando

who ordered plastic storage bins
on Amazon

got a delivery filled
with 65 pounds of weed.

[ Laughter ]

They were like, "Wow.

Amazon Prime's
even better than we thought."

There we go.

We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!