Ping-pong and the riddle of victory

Every other night in Japan

I step out of my apartment,

I climb up a hill for 15 minutes,

and then I head into my local health club,

where three ping-pong tables
are set up in a studio.

And space is limited,

so at every table

one pair of players practices forehands,

another practices backhands,

and every now and then,
the balls collide in midair

and everybody says,

"Wow!"

Then, choosing lots,

we select partners and play doubles.

But I honestly couldn't
tell you who's won,

because we change partners
every five minutes.

And everybody is trying really hard

to win points

but nobody is keeping track
of who is winning games.

And after an hour or so
of furious exertion,

I can honestly tell you

that not knowing who has won

feels like the ultimate victory.

In Japan, it's been said

they've created a competitive spirit
without competition.

Now, all of you know that geopolitics
is best followed by watching ping-pong.

(Laughter)

The two strongest powers in the world

were fiercest enemies

until, in 1972, an American ping-pong team
was allowed to visit Communist China.

And as soon as the former adversaries

were gathered around
some small green tables,

each of them could claim a victory,

and the whole world
could breathe more easily.

China's leader, Mao Tse-tung,

wrote a whole manual on ping-pong,

and he called the sport

"a spiritual nuclear weapon."

And it's been said that the only
honorary lifelong member

of the US Table Tennis Association

is the then-President Richard Nixon,

who helped to engineer
this win-win situation

through ping-pong diplomacy.

But long before that,

really the history of the modern world

was best told through
the bouncing white ball.

Ping-pong sounds like
a cousin of sing-song,

like something Eastern,

but actually it's believed
that it was invented by high-class Brits

during Victorian times,

who started hitting wine corks
over walls of books after dinner.

(Laughter)

No exaggeration.

And by the end of World War I,

the sport was dominated by players
from the former Austro-Hungarian Empire:

eight of our nine
early world championships

were claimed by Hungary.

And Eastern Europeans grew so adept

at hitting back everything
that was hit at them

that they almost brought
the whole sport to a standstill.

In one championship match
in Prague in 1936,

the first point is said to have lasted
two hours and 12 minutes.

The first point!

Longer than a Mad Max movie.

And according to one of the players,
the umpire had to retire with a sore neck

before the point was concluded.

(Laughter)

That player started hitting
the ball back with his left hand

and dictating chess moves between shots.

Many in the audience
started, of course, filing out,

as that single point lasted
maybe 12,000 strokes,

and an emergency meeting of
the International Table Tennis Association

had to be held then and there,

and soon the rules were changed

so that no game could last
longer than 20 minutes.

Sixteen years later,
Japan entered the picture

when a little-known
watchmaker called Hiroji Satoh

showed up at the world championships
in Bombay in 1952.

And Satoh was not very big,
he wasn't highly rated,

he was wearing spectacles,

but he was armed with a paddle
that was not pimpled,

as other paddles were,

but covered by a thick spongy rubber foam.

And thanks to this
silencing secret weapon,

the little-known Satoh won a gold medal.

One million people came out
into the streets of Tokyo

to greet him up on his return,

and really Japan's postwar resurgence
was set into motion.

What I learned though
at my regular games in Japan

is more what could be called
the inner sport of global domination,

sometimes known as life.

We never play singles in our club,

only doubles,

and because, as I say,
we change partners every five minutes,

if you do happen to lose,
you're very likely to win

six minutes later.

We also play best-of-two sets,

so often there's no loser at all.

Ping-pong diplomacy.

And I always remember that as a boy
growing up in England, I was taught

that the point of a game was to win,

but in Japan I'm encouraged to believe
that really the point of a game

is to make as many people as possible
around you feel that they are winners.

So you're not careening up and down
as an individual might,

but you're part of a regular,
steady chorus.

The most skillful players in our club

deploy their skills to turn
a 9-1 lead for their team

into a 9-9 game in which everybody
is intensely involved,

and my friend who hits
these high looping lobs

that smaller players flail at and miss,

well he wins a lot of points,
but I think he's thought of as a loser.

In Japan, a game of ping-pong
is really like an act of love.

You're learning how to play with somebody,

rather than against her.

And I'll confess at first
this seemed to me

to take all the fun out of the sport.

I couldn't exult after a tremendous upset
victory against our strongest players,

because six minutes later
with a new partner

I was falling behind again.

On the other hand,

I never felt disconsolate,

and when I flew away from Japan
and started playing singles again

with my English arch-rival,

I noticed that after every defeat,
I was really broken-hearted.

But after every victory,
I couldn't sleep either

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