Some People Are Boycotting Bud Light | The Basement Yard #394

Welcome back to the- I'm not even gonna-

(laughing) Come on! Let loose a little
bit

Welcome bck to the Basement Yard-
(laughing)

You know I've gotta get into energy mode
Well, no, no, you don't.

I do! I gotta-

I saw you out of the corner of my eye
doing this

Do it again.
One more time?

Do it again. I'll just start doing
the intro,

and you do what you were doingt

Okay, okay take two, trash-
cut that all out.

no, no, no keep that in

nono cut it all out-
No keep it in!

Joe

Start saying all those racial slurs-
KEEP IT IN!

ok alright,

alright

I said welcome back to the-
and you started doing that

(Laughing) I started crumping!

(Laughing) Stupid fuck

That's my version of crumping

By the way, this?

I don't think that's what they do

I don't - THEY?

I meant like the-
(SHOUTING)

(shouting) The crumping community!
(laughing) The crumping?

(laughing) I just meant like-

The crumping community at large-
Yeah yeah! like

at large-
Are they still out there?

Of course, underground though

I feel like crumping has gone way
underground

(Giggles) Did we talk about
that recently where

it was like

those movies back in the day
were like

gangsters and they

would meet up in a fucking
basement and dance battle?

I-what movie was it
I recently watched?

It wasn't stomp the yard,
it was

it was one of those-
the one with Chris Brown in it

Stomp the (RE?) Yard

Ok Stomp the Yard, ok

and it was like these hardcore
fucking GANG-BANGERS

and they're like I'm gonna
get you on the fucking dance floor

Yeah- And they'll be like

And like do that in front of the
person's face

and they're like fucking
trying to fight em in

the middle of a dance
-Yeah, exactly

Very insane-
Yeah, I don't know

No-one was like
hardcore crumping

where we were from
-Not at all

Um, not even softcore
Um

Softcore crumping?

Watch Beeps
Ope, excuse me

Little bitch!

What the hell was that?
My Apple watch is not

quiet, hooooo boy!

That sounded like you'v--you're
fucking..

Ope, the cake is ready!
(Laughter)

Um, uh, what was I gonna say

Did you know any, like, dancers
growing- I knew one

and i went to a uh
I dated a girl that was like a dancer

Who?

Mutters I'm not gonna

First and last year?

Just one of them?

Forever

Ok (Laughter)
Ok alright that

that narrows it down.
She was dancer?

that narrows it down-
Yeah! She went to dance

Oh I didn't, I don't kow

And it was tough because I
expected like

She was doing a ballet type thing-
The classicals

And then there were other people
that were doing "hip-hop"

RIght

Oh my god

A little, a little weird for me
to s-

Like it's weird to watch people
hip hop dance!

Ok.
In like a serious setting

Oh like, wait it was in the same show?

YES

People did like showcases

It was like ballet and then
let's do hip-hop

Yeah it was like one like they would
do like fucking

you know a song
like a nice, a sweet swan song

Yeah! Something cool
The Black Swan?

Mmm Well, careful.
What's that called?

Is that it?
It is black swan

Er, swan lake is the name of the
show, Black Swan is the movie

Oh ok

Uh-but, and then like the next
they'll be like

"Alright like that was so beautiful!"

And then like next they'll be like
you know, here come white greek

girls from a story of Queens

(Laughter)

And it'll be like fucking-
Hip-hop!

Yeah! Or it'll be like they're
dancing to Furgy

Like Fabulish- or
Furgalishess

Fabulicious

Fabulous was another
song of hers, wasn't it?

Glamorous

(singing) Glamorous

Anyway- I was thinking
(singing) Fabulous

You know why I remember
that song really well?

Welcome back to the
Vash moon

Um- Glamorous?
Yeah, there was

A you.... you and like
THE BOYS

Uh I'm not gonna like this am I?

No you were it- it's just a story

I don't know if you remember it

You and the BOYS

Who are the BOYS?

Uh, Danny, Dom-
Oh the BOYS

Da BOYS!
-Got it

Came to pick me up from school

When I was at back loriet once

It was when that weird rearranged
the letters and was like

(Mocking) "The school of Cool Cats!"

Remember that dumb idiot?
(Laughter) O-K

I dont even

We came to pick you up
You came to pick me up

Cause that was a thing
it's like

You- pick your BOYS up

You pick your BOYS up
from school! -Yeah

It was cute! Yeah.

And then like you could
show off your boys to like

other boys.
-Right

You know and then its-

Like check out my neighborhood boys!

And then it's a meeting of the boys

And isn't- aren't these boys so cool?

But the boys also always kind of
butt heads because it's like

Yo I'm his boy!
I'm his boy!

You're his schoolboy
You're his schoolboy!

I'm his neighborhood BOY!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Uh and we were walking home

And I was listening to the Glamorous
song

Like I think it was playing an actually
on my next tilt

Cause I had it as a ring
Ludicrous was part of a ring-tone

(laughing) You're ring-tone was
Glamorous!?

Take-take it easy

I'm-I'm-I'm

The LUDA part of it

Got it

And he - and and part of it goes

"If you ain't got no money take your
broke ass home"

Yeah- And I remember I was walking
and we were listening to it

And you were like you happened
to be looking at me

So of course I was performing
(Laughing)

And then, I was just like to myself

I was like (singing) if you aint got
no money take your broke ass home

I remember that

And you fucking lost it

Because you smacked your ass so hard

You were like BROKE-ASS HOME
Well, you know

If you go for it you go for it
-I was like shat is this guy doing?

I actually do remember that now

Do you?

I do, us and DA BOYS

It was (exclaims)
DA-DA BOYZ!

I know, uh (laughs)

DA BOYZ!

And how are you doing?

Uh, I'm not, too well actually

Today, this morning, I walked
my dog

And he took a poooop

Again with the poop talk Joey

Ah, it's not my poop it's my dog's poop!

Not very etiquettely sound

Dog's shit

Mhmm

But there's a reason why I'm
bringing it up

So my dog--Every time you bring
up dog shit there's a reason Joey

Just want to make that very clear

(Sighs) Anyway (Laughter)

This morning I was walking my dog
and he poops

And I pick it up

Bare-hand?

Why would I do that

I don't know you're well you're
a little wild lately

No, I might as well be bare-handed

You're bare-knuckle brawler pick
up your dog's shit?

No! I-I put a bag on my hand

Went- Picked it up....

Hole in the bag
(GASP)

Shit hand

I had shit hands
(Laughter)

For the whole walk
How far, how far were you from home?

(Laughter)
Why did you say that?

Um, I was like a block and a half

So you, so what did you do?

I went like this on the concrete
Slaps table

And I was like- I didn't have
a TON of shit on my hand

My question was gonna be like
consistency of the shit

Was it like, did it leave
residue on your hand?

(Affirmative noises)

Visible residue?
Visible

Well- not INVISIBLE?

Well can I ask you a question?
-Ask me

If you had touched it and you're thumb

Or like you're hand had touched it
but it didn't leave poop markings

on your hand. Would you take it
that serious?

Yes

Oh ok good, good good.
I just want to make sure

No I, I, so I wiped my
hand on the concrete

And just walked home like this

Did you scrape-EW-
Did you scrape your hand?

Basically-I didn't, I mean I didn't
rub it against the concrete

So you just walked home like
you were fucking like raising your hand?

Like I'm like scrubbing it for surgery
it's like

But I was very pee-ed off

Oh well I would assume so

Uh, and I just yelled at him

It was your dogs fault

Well it was the bag's fault

But he was the one
-You had to blame an organic being

in the area-
-I had to yeah

Not you

Something with a heart beat was
getting screamed at

and it wasn't gonna be me

(Laughter)

So-
It's his fault

Yeah-

That you were not smart enough
to check the bag first

Well I don't che- it's fresh out
of the pack!

So, sue the company

Now I'm, now you're getting somewhere

Big Billionaire Joe-
Yeah!-

Is gonna sue the company for
everything they're worth

Is gonna sue the doggy bag industry

Because I mean this could be a
huge law suit

You gotta imagine you're not the only
person that's

accidentally raw-dogged a dog's shit!

Yeah I know

You gotta imagine- ah man I had a
good fucking line there

And I FUCKED it up - it's alright

You were gonna say I was, I was
getting raw-dogged?

I was gonna say "Like you weren't the only
one that was raw-dogging your dog's raw"

That was the line you thought that was so
sick?

(Laughter) That was the one?

(Mocking) "You were raw-dogging your
dog's raw"

Yeah well you know you don't win em all

(Mumbling Noises)

To get in the middle of---
yeah that's right

That's exactly the same thing-
Damn that hurts though

Yeah it was not cool and then I
also had this thought too right?

So I got dog shit on my hand and
when I got to my apartment

I went straight to the sink and I like
you know soap and water

Soap and water yeah yeah
I'm washing my hands

Aaand

I then I guess now it hit me

And I'm, (giggles) I remember washing my
hands and going

"Soap is incredible"
(Laughter)

Cause I was going like bro all I have to do
is put this liquid and go like this

and they're CLEAN?

Yeah- did you wash your doorknob?

My doorknob?

Yeah like that you got into your-

Bro the hand stayed in the air

It stayed, it stayed back here
I didn't use it to do anything

You were basically like Kane
looking to fucking choke slam somebody

Yeah, no, um, but, I was like

I was like "Wow"

Like I'm washing my hands and I'm going
like "Wow soap is like nuts"

Like how do we have diseases? If we have
soap it kills the germs!

Well guess what Joey? Things are
stronger than soap.

I don't think so, 99.9 bro?

Alright, lemme ask you a question then

Yeah, well wait hold on
No!

I meant sicknesses-OK-
not like you know

There are certain sicknesses guess what?
stronger than soap

What?

You think if you get fucking like a little
-FLU?

bit of like, you know

STUFF, on ya? Like bad stuff? Ya know?

I'm not gonna say it

Cum?

No, well sure

Wait what were you talking about

I was gonna-there's another one

3 letters in there

Cum

(Giggles) Well no

Blood?

It could be transmitted through blood
as well

You think if people were like

"Let's just wash it with soap we're
gonna be all good"

Oh AIDS

Well n- that's 4 letters

AID?

Something leads into that one

HIV

There it is, ok

(laughing) You had to walk me there
babe

Well I did-
-I know

I led you to the water you were just too
dumb to fucking sip.

I- can you, can-can soap kill
HIV? I don't know

No-uh- Let me watch this

No-nono!
-Nono

I'll do it!
Ok go

No

(Laughing)

No but I'm saying is this

Let's just say you put HIV in like
a petri dish right?

Like we get it, we have it
concentrated right here

And you put a little Meyer's Soap
in there

Ya know like the organic kind that
smells good

Yeah like those Doctor Brenner's ones
that like

That's, that maybe

When you wash your body it's all cold
and clean

Yeah it's like icy hot

Yeah-But if you put that in there
nothing happens?

It doesn't like fight it? There's no
fight?

I-I I would- I'm gonna go a little bit
of a - of a little bit of a stretch here

I'm gonna go on a little bit of a stretch
here

Cause people know how- how
scientifically I guess inept we are?

Yeah-But I'm gonna confidently
say that ain't gonna do it.

No? I don't think so.

I mean I know that you like
if you're transmitting (giggles)

I mean I know that you got it

Once you're- You can't you can't just
drink a bunch of soap

and you fixed your body

Well no I think I believe if I'm not
mistaken I knew someone that worked
uh, at a club

For years and got pricked with a needle

And...
-In a club?

There were like checking bags and
stuff like that

Or they were going in someone's bag
to grab something

Got pricked with a needle
-Just had a needle

It was uh a performer

That clearly had a needle on them
-Ok

This, I don't know why you're making
it seem like this is out of the blue

Who the fuck carries needles into clubs?

People that are addicts Joey

That's what I was getting at!

I was saying like a syringe?
And-and

And there's a, there's to my
understanding

There's a 'cocktail' they call it

Of pills -Yeah- that you could
take every day for like 3 months

That'll completely wipe it
An early detection

What, (Mumbles) Really?

Early detection-my understanding
I don't wanna speak, ya know

But uh yeah so um

What did that have to do with soap?

I don't know if soap is in those
cocktails

I think (Laughter) in truth like
I don't think soap can do it

I'm not saying that it could cure
anything

Can I ask you a serious question?

But like it prevents a lot and then
also think about this right?

Airborne illnesses like the flu

It could stain the air, air particles
whatever

Why haven't we (Laughs) This is
so stupid

Why haven't we made like an air soap?

You know what I'm saying?

I think we have you ever see those
movies where people step into chambers

And it goes "SKSSSSSS"

Yeah but like why isn't it like accessible
Like if-

Let's say I was sick right?

Because Big Soap doesn't want everyone
to be clean

I know that's what I'm saying!
Then-

Then Big Medicine doesn't make their
money Joey!

Well yeah Big Pharma

Big- Whoah- I said Big Medicine
you're going after Big Pharma

That's the same thing

Well yeah, but I don't wanna be
using their actual name

The Government, you know what I'm
saying?

It's like Voldemort - yeah

Don't say their full name
We don't say

They Who Shall Not Be Named

Yeah (giggles)

Um but like you know what I'm saying
like if I had the flu

Like People would just like oh just
leave your windows open it'll clear out

But like what if I had a spray
that I could just spray (laughs)

Well yeah if you had like

So-Air Soap!

If there was just something you
could just like SKKKS

And it just, you're good

Wait why did you shoot into your neck?

I was thinking of-Did you see Glass Onion?

Yes

They do that in that movie do you remember
at the beginning?

Oh yeah that's right

(Grunts) yeah I, I dont'

I'm sure there's something out there but
again Big Medicine, Big Soap

They don't want us to know about it
--I know

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah
-And I really want you to be honest with me

I'm - ok

Do you think like

when, when if you have a tickle
in your throat

Yeah
-A little tickle

I hate that
-I hate it because

Then I'm like I'm dead in a week

Oh no I just, cause I have to cough
forever.
-Oh yeah

You have a tickle in your throat
-Yeah

Do you believe that like drinking like
carbonated beverages does anything
good for it?

I don't know probably.

Because in my head

It hurts when I swallow it

I've convinced myself that

If I have a tickle in my throat
if I just drink a seltzer like

something with a just like a BITE.
-SHARP, something SHARP

It's gonna kill it!

Yeah cause it'll like
-Cause it'll just fuck it up!

Or, it'll scratch it for me

It'll, well, not just scratch it
but like it'll like the bubbles will

lift it and then get it down
and then its gone

Well what do you think a tickle is
that you could lift it?

I don't know-
-It's just a feeling!

But in my head-
-You can't lift a feeling Frank

In my head like if I have a tickle
in my throat I'm like

yo I'm just gonna drink
seltzer and I'll be good

I understand that because I'm
like the bubbles will scratch it for me

Not just scratch it but like they'll
fucking kill whatever's back there

Cause that's a powerful drink!

I don't think there's anything to kill

Well I, I think that-
It's like trying to kill a twitch!

If it's an early onset of a tickle Joey!

If it's an early onset of like a
cold or something

Oooooh-
-You know what I'm saying?

Ok, I said that soap (giggles)

Might be able to like kill a disease

If it's on a table, not if it's in a body

If it's on a table though, put some
soap on it.

You think seltzer's gonna prevent
a cold?

Oh I'm not, I'm not saying I'm smart here

I'm just saying, I'm, I'm asking if you've
ever thought that

I, I don't think about it like like

Stopping a cold-
Because Seltzer

is like you know like, like, like

The Roman soldier of drinks
like it gets in there

and it just fucking clears the way

Yeaaaah

And I'm wondering if you've ever thought
that

Because I've convinced myself that like
if I'm not feeling well

just a bottle of ginger ale will just
do the trick

Well my mom used to say that

like when my tummy was Bo-obly-
-when you got a little tummy upysetty

(Laughs) Why did you do that?

Um I would drink a seltzer and then
I mean I would drink a ginger ale

Well Like-
-And then I just felt the same

Well-well, well no-
What kind of a (Laughing)

Like Schweps and fucking
Canada Dry it's

high fructose corn syrup but

Ginger

As, as a, as a root-

-Right

Does have medicinal properties for like
upset stomachs

Do you wanna hear something really
interesting?

Sure

Two things actually

One, didn't know what an avacodo was
untill I was like 16

Swear to god I'm in the same boat.

Also

-Ginger, like real ginger
-Yeah

24?

(Laughing) -Oh my god that's old Joey
-Old!

-That's, that's 2016
-I like but like

Dude there--Ginger was not around
-Oh

My family never had ginger in the house

Turmeric? 3 years ago.
(Laughing)

Like, these powders as things that
are just like---

You only cooked with salt-
Have you ever seen real tumeric?

-Yeah uh yeah
-Like the root?

Yeah yeah same with ginger

I-I love both of them

I-Bro....

-Very spicy
-Yeah

-It's a spicy meatball-
-Yeah (Laughing)

Well it's because in your house

God Bless your mother

-But you were
-Yeah

Pretty hell-bent on only cooking
with salt and pepper there was no spice

Don't even fucking start this and talk
shit about my

amazing cook mother

Uh-Your mom is legitimately

And I say this with much praise

One of the best cooks I have met in my
entire life (Laughing)

She is really good

Um, But take it easy, alright?

-Yeah
-Um (Laughing)

No I-I didn't... bro avacados?

Came out of nowhere!

-Absolutely out of nowhere!
-Bro!

It was like 2000 and 10?

And people were like -avocados!

And I was like "woah woah woah
where have these been forever"

Dude, later, way later than that

Also, kale

Not a thing

-Kale--Bro I'm conv-
-Kale!

If someone told me kale was invented
in 2017

-I'd be like yep.
-Yeah

- Absolutely 100%
-It's like we just we found it

One day someone just said kale
chips

And I've never heard of kale since

It's insane

And I don't know where it came from

It-it it's Big-Big-Big Salad

Big Leaf!

(Laughing) Big Leaf yeah!

That's what it - Big Leafy Green!

-Big Leafy Green is at it
-Yeah

Oh

Oh

Welp, well Ant's wearing
a dildo on his head (laughing)

-There's all kinds of stuff going on

Can't say dildo now we're
demonetized!

You thought that was gonna
demonetize us?

(Laughing)

Oh Keith's got a purple one!

Keith's got a dildo on his head now

I don't know what's happening outside
on these walls

But this is what goes on

I gotta say I'm actually pretty
proud of Keith for wearing that

because I did not anticipate a
fucking falop-phalic shape

to be anywhere near his mouth

It's not a phallic shape it's a
straight up

rubber dick on his head

Silicone but who's counting?

Silly cone?

Sillicone

I thought you said silly cone (laughs)

-Silly cone!
-Um yeah

Dude I swear to god avocados-

Dude speaking of silicone sorry

Your turn (Laughter)

Go ahead!

Nonono, the floor is yours...
Chief!

It's not even a good story (laughing)

Yeah no no, go! (laughing)

Your turn (laughing)

Um, I was gonna say-
(bursts with laughter)

This is so stu-

-I hate that I'm forced to say it now
-I, nonono now you need

to complete the story so the world can
see what you interupted me for

The silicone it reminded me of

my dad filled in like the cracks of our
window in the bathroom with silicone

and one day I sat there and I just

picked all of it out

and he was mad at at me
and that's the whole story

(Clapping)

Awesome! We are all better human beings
for having listened to that stupid fucking
story

(Laughter)
-Wait to go!

-Go ahead tell me, tell me-
-All I was gonna say was

-Avocado, came out of nowhere
-Yeah

-Kale came out of nowhere
-Yes

Everything being fucking
buffalo chicken flavor

-Came out of nowhere
-MMMMMM

Not complaining about it

But definitely came out of nowhere

Buffalo chicken pizza...

Big blowup, big ol' blowup

Big BLBLOW up?

(Laughs) Big blow up

-They came out of nowhere
-(indiscernible mocking noises)

(Laughing) I had - Dog give
big old bread bowl

What else came out of nowhere back then?

There was so much stuff

Like, that I feel like I wasn't um

Maybe I should open the door and be
like "Hey guys you know it's cool"

-We're recording a show in here
-We're not recording anything you pieces
of fuck!

Real professional podcast you fucking
idiots! (Laughing)

Um, yeah but I don't know

Uh there was other shit that
kind of came out of nowhere

But anyway, this all started
because I grabbed my dog's shit

-Yeah well that's alright
-And

I actually something happened to me
that I think you would really appreciate

You know me Joey

You know me

I show, a part of way I show
love, my love language

Is I make fun of people

We-our friend group

We've been doing it our
(Motorboat noises) lives

We've literally done it for
20 years now

And, I'm a big proponent of like

If you can dish it out you better
be able to take it

Ok

And you've told me before I've
had some

Some clapbacks that hit a little
too close to home

Uhhh yeah

A little (Laughing) sometimes

You're pretty relentless I would say

Well, listen don't poke the king
if you're not ready for the claws

you know what I'm saying?

Not an expression, Frankie, not one!

That's not one

-Don't poke the bear, I'm sorry
-Don't poke the bear

Don't come for the king

If you come for the king you best--

You don't come for the king
if you're gonna miss

(Stammers) Ok yeah

So, I was joking around with Miles yesterday

Yeah

So, Miles, for those you guys that don't
know him, my stepson

Fucking incredible -- such a kind young
man

But, I've always told him like bro listen

If you're gonna like if you're gonna joke
with people

Make sure they can take it

And if they're getting to you like
clap right back at them!

You know what I mean?

Be a little relentless if you need
to be relentless

-Ya know? (laughing)
-You're telling him to do this?

I-Well I'm telling him, I'm
telling him in a responsible setting

Because he's also the sweetest
fucking kid on the planet

He literally one day he caught

There was a fly with a damaged
wing

That I think I actually killed

And, he-he fed it and nurtured
it and then it died and he was

in tears.

He fled a fly?

Yeah, that's how sweet this
fucking kid is

What do you feed flies?

Cantaloupe

Oh it was a fruit fly

No it was a fly, a house fly

-It was- Flies eat anything literally shit
-That's true

-Um, but
-Ok

So one day - er yesterday we were
going back and forth at each other

And he goes

You look like diarrhea

And I'm like I look like diarrhea?

Damn dude that's racist!

Well- ok
(Laughter)

Like you know what? Actually

Ok, I didn't even think about it like that

-"You look like diarrhea"
-Yeah!

And then I'm like "Alright well
you look like" you know "a fart"

And he goes

This is his response he goes

"You look like a fart that just came
out of someone's butt

and is in the wind"

I was like oh that kind of hurt?

(Laughing) -What?
-And then

Yeah well this is the best part

So then I'm like alright

I joke with him

And we were going to see the Mario

-Super Mario Brothers movie
-Uh huh

And I go, "You know who you like?"

"You look like someone that's
not going to the movies today"

And he goes- Bro,
snaps fingers like this

I-I watch his face go like this

He goes -

You know what you look like?

(Laughter)

And I go oh shit!
(Clap)

I didn't-

You know what you like?

Pussy (Laughing)

I go, I go

You know what you look like
you look like someone who's not

going to the movies today

And he goes you know what you
look like?

You look like someone that's not
gonna be a stepdad anymore

(Laughter)

(Laughter)
OH MY GOD

(Laughter)
What?

-I'm like-
(Laughing)

-My mouth drops
-He said that?

Yeah bro!
(Laughing)

My mouth dropped

Becca's mouth dropped

We started dying laughing

And I went up to him and I just

gave him the biggest fattest
wettest dap

Wettest?

I was washing the dishes
(Laughter)

And I said I was like Bro

Fucking good on you dude!

What does that mean is he gonna
like kill you?

I don't know! But whatever
it was, that's what I'm talking like

And that was such a proud dad

That's such a weird thing to be
proud of

-It's like oh you took it too far thank u
-But in that moment

I was like "YESSS"

like I've done something to
this kids life

That's incredible

Bro he fucking like

BANG. Like

(Laughing) -You know what you look like?
-Like

Like fucking like, Hitman sytle

Fucking bullet in the back of
the head

Really wish that went
one more round

Yeah well, no (Laughs)

I said to Becca I-I

Like afterward we were
dying laughing about it

And I was like, "I could've went back"

And she's like "I know"

(Laughing) I could've went back!

Just like, "I'm gonna go have sex
with your mom"

(Laughter)

You know who you look like?

Nah I'm not gonna I can't,
I can't do it

-He might see this one day
-Yeah that's too much

But bro I was so proud in that
moment because

That's so funny

I saw me!

And like it's mome- it's so
stupid but like

it's moments like that

Like as a stepfather

Like all you want to do is
have like an impact

a positive impact on this
child's life

In that moment

Him absolutely tearing
me to shreds

In front of my wife,
also his mom

And my fucking two daughters

-The kid won
-The kid won

And I could-- I couldn't-I went

We went to the movies

I got him anything he
fucking wanted

Yeah he needed to get a
fucking Slushee

I was like - Nah no Slushee
those shits are dogshit

We got Buncher-Crunch

We got FAT-OL popcorn

in the collector's tin

Buncher-Crunch?

He-His choice man

I said I was like "Bro go pick
whatever you want"

Cookie dough though

He picked it

I'm saying, like

What would you get though?

What do you usually get when
you go to the movies?

Milk-Duds

Uh-huh

Or.... Nerd's Gummy Clusters

Those are good

They are back baby!

You don't like the big frozen

The fro- you wanna bring fro- you
wanna bring

ice cream into the movies Joey?

Nonono like the slushies that they have

No, because they're mostly air!

I want a slush puppy

Yeah those are more wet

Yeah!

(Laughter)
-That's where

That's what I want!
(Laughter)

You're head was just bouncing - "yeah!"

That's what I want Joey!

Damn

Oh and by the way

Hypothetically if I were to have
found a slush puppy on ebay

Would we be able to get it in
here in the studio?

Hold on

-Yeah
-Ok

But like
(Laughter)

What did- What is required?

Well- Damn that would be so sick

Yeah!

If we had a slush puppy machine?

I just wanna know like now that
I am the

Chief Fun Officer of Sant A Gauto Studios

Am I allowed to make like stupid

Purchases the way that you do?

(Chuckling) What do I do?

A clock out there that just says
"Irrelevant" or whatever it says

I took- (Laughing)

What does it say?

-It says irrelevant
-Irrelevant yeah

There you go

Um

-No I-
-An espresso machine

that has been used probably 0 times?

No Greg uses that all the time it is

It sounds like a car
(Laughing)

-It literally is that loud
-Ok

Its so loud

Ok (stammers)

Multiple phallic dildo shaped toys

All of these things were free
by the way

That you're naming

The espresso machine?

That was like his Mom's

or something

How does Mom get us a Slush
Puppy machine dawg?

No she had one she was like

gonna get rid of it he's like

"I'll just take it and put it
in the studio"

Oh damn alright well

-Yeah and then the clock
-I just--

I gave to him as a gift

Yeah and then he hated it
because it sucks

Well no it broke

and then he got it fixed

-And then he realized it sucks
-And then (chuckles) And then

He's like "Oh I'm just gonna bring
it to the studio"

I'm gonna just bring it to the studio

Yeah
Yeah

Well, there you go I-I-I had to share
that with you

because that's one of my favorite stories

(Sighs) That is a really good one

Um let's get to some ads here folks

The first one being Liquid IV

What did I forget to bring to the studio
for Frankie today?

Liquid IV

But what did I steal from his personal
collection and put in a bottle?

(Unanimous) -Liquid IV!
-Liquid IV!

Uh we love Liquid IV here uh it is a

category winning hydration brand fueling
your well being

Um

Basically I'm just gonna tell you
what it is

Ok? Cause that was very fancy
way of saying

That these things are incredible, ok?

They have all the essential (stammers)

You know things that you need
for hydration

There's essential vitamins
B3 B5 B6 B12

And vitamin C

Uh, 3 times the electrolytes of
traditional sports drinks

And you just pop open the little
pack you throw it in uh, uh

You know some water and you
shake it up

And you drink it

And they have incredible flavors

And they're always making new ones I feel like

Uh, my favorites are the strawberry
and the watermelon

Uh, Keith was actually telling me he
was like

"Did you get the st-"

Is that the strawberry lemonade?

YES

(Laughing) The strawberry lemonade

It's delicious that's why I was
savoring that swallow

-Can I smell it?
-Uh oh

Let me smell it

Let daddy get a whiff

Oh wow, definitely will
have one of these later

Um, But yeah they're great

Go get them

They're great to have when uh
to keep yourself hydrated

Um, but you can grab your
Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco

or get 20% off when you go to
LiquidIV.com

and use the code BASEMENT
at checkout

That's 20% off anything you order

When you shop
Better Hydration Today

using the promo code BASEMENT
at LiquidIV.com

Go get yourself some

It's like a treat, honestly

They're great!

Um, Non-GMO and free from gluten dairy
and soy, as well, uh

But yeah, so go get it
uhhhhhh

And a you know hydrate yourself

Uh next here we have Stitch Fix

Stitch Fix is great because it's like

The easy way to get clothes that fit you

Without having to endlessly scroll through
options or you know

Whatever and you get a little help from
people

You go on their site you take their style
quiz

And it's like
you know getting the star treatment

And you have your own personal stylist

Uh you take their style quiz you let
em know what you like to wear

What your fit is, you know
your height your weight

whatever the hell, in
your sizes

And, they, got you covered

With over a thousand brands
and styles that you

Know and love

And they'll show you how to
wear the outfit head to toe

So you can get dressed and go!
You know what I mean?

And right now Stitch Fix is
offering listeners 20 dollars

Off of their first fix at
StitchFix.com/BASEMENT

That is StitchFix.com/BASEMENT
for 20 dollars off

Today, so, if you're thinking about
stepping your style game up

And you want a second opinion on stuff

And I mean why wouldn't ya?

StitchFix.com/BASEMENT

Go get it folks

-That's all I'm gonna do for now
-(Stammering)

And then you're gonna throw it over
to me.

You're gonna alley oop that ball over
in my court and guess what?

I'm gonna tell you about the Patreon
(laughing)

Patreon.com/TheBasementYard
(Claps) FOLKS

Not only did we have a record
breaking March...

But we are already surpassing
where we got to in March

With the amount of patrons and
thank you so much

We really appreciate it!

patreon.com/TheBasementYard
is the best way to support us!

We tell you that all the time

Do-do you have a couple bucks
handy?

Do-do you wanna be a patreon

A patron and see a bunch of
exclusive stuff?

Well guess what?

Patreon.com/TheBasementYard

You sign up for that first tier
you get these weekly episodes

ONE week in advance

And then that second tier well
that's ooooo

Where you get those exclusive
Friday only episodes

Where Joe and I scream obscenities'
at each other

But a little-a little more- a little more
dirty

A little more raunchy

And guess what? Join today

You can get every episode that's
been back-logged

Every single one

So go check it out
Patreon.com/TheBasementYard

Let's get to 19,000 baby
absolutelyyyyyyy

(Laughing)

The end of there

The next thing I have written on here
is peanut butter

-Peanut butter, yes
-What was that again?

So

I had a question for you because
(Clears throat)

the TSA, who are the cops in the sky

-Well are they?
-Well...

MMMM They're the cops in the airport

What's it-what does TSA stand for?

T-uhhh

-Travel
-Trav-Travel Security Agency

Safety? Is it safety?

They're not- are they security?
(Stammering)

Travel ssssecurity Agency

-What does TSA stand for?
-Say the exact same thing again?

Yeah (Chuckles)

Transit?
It's gotta be Transit

Transit

Transit?

Not Transit

Travel?

No

Trans is close

Transcontinental

T- No

Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaansgender
no

Transportation

Transportation...Safety--NO!

Security--Yay--Administration

-Boom
-BAM!

Transportation Security Administration
didn't know that

Recently ruled that

According to them peanut butter
is a liquid

And-And before you say anything

I want to know where you stand

I know that's what you were gonna say

But I wanted to make sure you didn't
interrupt me from introducing this

You feel good?

So.... Joe do you believe that peanut
butter is a liquid?

It's not a liquid.

It's too... thick.

-It's a spread
-How is it not a liquid?

Because it- Because it doesn't run

Yes it does it runs you ever see
hot peanut butter?

Yeah if you heat it up!

Ok welp well there you go Joey!

Liquid!

No!

Liquid!

Is lava a liquid?

It runs

Yeah so does peanut butter

Wha-How did you just oh that doesn't
even make sense what you just said!

Absolutely it does

Lava isn't peanut butter!

Lava, well Lava is not peanut butter

You could take a jar of peanut butter
and do this

How is that a liquid?

Yeah! It's not gonna move but if
you let it sit there it will

It'll poop out

-It's-It's a viscous. It's a thick boy
-Yeaaaah!

-Or girl- or however peanutbutter
-How all of our

-I support every every single way that
the peanut butter identifies itself
-Brothers and sisters of the earth

If you let peanut butter do its thing
it's gonna run

It's not gonna run

It's just a thick liquid - a thickquid

It aint

It is though!

-But like if it's thick enough
-So

So what's a - gimme a classic liquid

Water!

Ok! What's the difference between
water and peanut butter

outside of the thickness?

(Stammers) Every possible property
are different

MMMM Maybe the chemical compositions
are a little different

But that doesn't mean I can't classify
it as a liquid

It can

I just did it

I don't think so

What's next? Jelly's a liquid?

Yes

Is Jello a liquid?
-Yes

It's just a cold liquid that's
gotten hard!

Leave Jello at room temperature
what happens?

It becomes waaateeeerrr

(Stammers) Does it?

Yeah that's why you have to
refrigerate it

When's the last time you made Jello?

St. Patricks Day for me

(chuckles) You made Jello?

It's orange baby

Oh you gotta make green
what are you doing?

Orange is the best flavored
Jello

Mmkay

Um....

-Y-Yeah
-Yeah I know

That's weird - that's probably the only
thing where orange is like superior

MMMM Icepop

Orange Icepop
-No