George Carlin on Soft Language

George Carlin talks about soft language from the special Doin' It Again.

If not 'THE', certainly one of the best comedians ever.
RIP George
1937-2008

(this cut out for a second during the upload somehow, so no this was not intentionally edited. This notation will probably not be read by many considering how most people don't take the time to read descriptions and welcome any opportunity to hear themselves spew 'verbal diarrhea')

.and one of the reasons, is because we were

using that soft language. The language that

takes the life out of life.

And it makes things worse. I'll give you another

example. Some time during my life..some time during my

life, toilet paper became bathroom tissue. I wasn't notified of this, no one asked me if I agreed with it

it just happened. Toilet paper became bathroom tissue. Sneakers became running shoes.

False teeth became dental appliances. Medicine became medication. Information became

direcotry assistance. The dump, became land fill, car crashes became automobile accidents,

partly cloudy became partly sunny. Motels became motor lodges, house trailers became mobile

homes, used cars became previously owned transportation, room service became guest room

dining. And constipation became occasional irregularity. [laughter]

when I was a little kid they wanted me to go the hospital and see the doctor. Now they want me to go

to a health maintenance organization or a wellness center, to consult a health care delivery provider...

poor people used to live in slums, now the economically disadvantaged, occupy

substandard housing in the inner city. And they're broke. They're broke! They don't have a

negative cash flow position, they're fuckin' broke! Cause a lot of them were fired

you know, fired? Management wanted to curtail redundancies in the human resources area...so many people are

no longer viable members of the work force...

smug, greedy, well fed white people have invented

a language to conceal their sins. It's as simple as that.

the CIA doesn't kill anyone anymore, they neutralize people.

Or, they depopulate the area. The government

doesn't lie, it engages in misinformation. The Pentagon actually measures

nuclear radiation in something they call sunshine units!

Iseali murderers are called commandos.

contra killers are called freedom fighters. Well if crime fighters fight crime,

and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

They never mention that part of it to us, do they? Never mention that part....

But some of this stuff is just silly. We all know that.

Like, on the airlines, they say they want to 'pre board.' Well, what the hell is pre-board?

What does that mean? To get on, before you get on?

They say they're going to pre-board those passengers in need of special assistance.

Cripples!

Simple. Honest. Direct language!

There's no shame attached to the word crippled that I can find in any dictionary.

No shame. In fact it's a word used in Bible translations 'Jesus healed the crippled."

It doesn't take seven words to describe that condistion

But we don't have any cripples in this country any more!

We have....

The Physically Challenged. Is that s groteque enough evasion for you?

Or, how about differently abled?! I've heard them called that.

Differently abled. You can't even call theses people handicapped anymore, they'll say

"We're not handicapped!

We're handy capable!"

These poor people have been bullshitted by the system into believing that if you change the

name of the condition, that somehow you'll change the condition!

Well, hey cuz...doesn't happen!

We have no more deaf people in this country.

"hearing impaired."

We have no more blind people.

Partially sighted, or visually impaired

We have no more stupid people. Everybody just has a

learning disorder!

Or he's minimally exceptional. How would you like to be told that about your child?!

"He's minimally exceptional."

"Oh, thank God for that!"

Psychologists have actually begun to call ugly people

"those with severe appearance deficits."

It's getting so bad that any day now I expect to hear a rape victim referred to as an unwilling sperm recipient..

And we have no more old people in this country!

No more old people. We ship them all away...

and we brought in these...senior citizens...

Isn't that a typically American 20th century phrase?

Bloodless. Lifeless. No pulse in one of them...

a senior citizen.

But I've excepted that one. I've come to terms with it..it's here to stay. That's what they're gonna be called

so I'll relax on that. But the one I do resist..that I keep resisting, is when they look at an old guy and the'll say

"look at him Dan, he's 90 Years young."

Imagine the fear of aging that reveals.

to not even be able to use the word "old" to describe someone.

To have to use an antonym.

And fear of aging is natural, it's universal

isn't it? We all have that. No one wants to get old. No one wants to die. But we do.

So,

We bullshit ourselves.

I started bullshitting myself when I got to my fourties.

Soon as I was in my 40s, I'd look in the mirror and I'd say
"well

I guess I'm getting older." Older sounds a little better than old, doesn't it!?

Older sounds like it might even last a little longer. Bullshit!

I'm getting old.

And it's okay.

Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die!

I'll pass away.....

Or i'll expire like a magazine subscription.

if it happens in the hospital they'll call it a terminal episode.

the insurance company will refer to it as negative patient care outcome

and, if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a therapeutic misadventure.

I'm telling ya....

some of this language makes me want to vomit.

Well, maybe not vomit.

Makes me want to engage in an involuntary personal protein spill!

Thank you all.