The Chinese Competition | La Ĉina Konkurso!

Hello, everyone!

I'm Evildea, your god.

And you probably can hear that my voice

is terrible now, because recently I was

really ill, and at the same time

I had to prepare myself for this

Chinese competition, which will

take place today.

So hopefully I won't lose my voice.

And now I want...

...now I want to show you my

Chinese T-shirt, which I actually bought

when I was in China. Luckily, I can still

wear it as I haven't got too fat.

So, do I look... tasty?

Sexy?

Chinesexy?

So, I've just arrived at the town centre

and I'm totally stressed out about

the competition.

So, I'm now at the place where the

competition will take place,

and we have to wait for the others

to open the doors, and I don't want

to wait for them.

In fact, I don't want to be here!

So, I'm now at the event, and it seems

that everyone else can speak much better

than me.

So, I just did a Chinese test

and I totally don't understand anything

that she just told me.

So it'll be interesting.

I just found out that that guy -

where is he? - there, is a YouTuber,

but he teaches Chinese on YouTube,

and it's interesting to find other

YouTubers here.

It's completely crazy here. No one knows

what we're doing.

Hello!

Shit, my mind is now thinking in Chinese

so I can't speak Esperanto that well.

Welcome to the Chinese

2016 Chinese Proficiency Competition

for the foreigners across the globe.

[Chinese] Hello everyone!

I'm a bit ill.

I can't speak very well.

My name's Richard.

I call myself Tall-rich-man

But my wife calls me Homeless-poor-man

You can call me, God

God is good ...

I will now use Chinese to present myself

If I make a mess of it

Or call your mum a horse

Please forgive me

Because I only discovered this competition

a week ago.

I was born in a small town in Queensland

My father is a New Zealander.

My mother came from Germany.

I have liked studying languages since I was young

I was in the army for six years

while I was there I learned to speak Esperanto

I now need to study Chinese

because my in-laws don't speak English.

I don't have much time

I can't study a lot.

because I need to work a lot.

My wife loves money.

I really do love Chinese culture

except for Chicken feet

that food tastes bad

I can't eat that food.

Very bad tasting.

I don't know what I need to say now

Thank you all.

I'm Richard.

Who are you?

I'm Richard!

But... I'm Richard!

I'm also Richard, silly little man

Sorry, I don't understand

Silence!

I'm the smarter version of you from the future.

Sorry, I have a question

Ask

Why can't I see you?

Why can't you see me?

Yes, why can't I see you?

I'm from the future, silly little man

Only my voice can travel through time and space

I understand, but why are you here

Because your idea for the competition

really sucks ...

You're a little late

What?

The competition has already started

Really?

Yes!

Oh shit, quick do something funny

Like what?

I don't know. Just wave and smile ...

Now what?

Come here. I have an idea.

Are you sure?

Just do it.

Really ...

I have a small donkey

Which I never ride ...

They're not buying it.

Do a dance.

I can't dance.

Dance!

I have a small donkey,

Which I never ride.

One day I feel like riding it,

You totally screwed it.

You need to do better.

I'm listening.

This is going to seem dramatic

but trust me it will work.

What?

You're going to have to strip ...

What?

Yeah baby, take it all off.

How will that work?

When they see your super model body, you'll automatically win.

So, the competition has already finished,

ah shit, maybe you can hear that I have

a cold, because I can't speak that well,

but I didn't beat the others, the others

actually studied Chinese at university and

other places around the world while I

just studied at home with my wife.

I'm now with my new friend, of course

he doesn't speak Esperanto but he does

speak Chinese, and now I want to show

him to you because he has a Chinese

YouTube channel.

My YouTube channel is called

Shawn's Mando Chinese.

It's especially for teaching foreigners Mandarin Chinese

So, go to that channel and subscribe to it!

So now I'm leaving with my wife to

eat together, and ...

I don't know what I'll do after that.

Maybe I'll go to the cinema

but I can't speak that much

because I have a cold.

So yes, okay.

And now we're on the way to

a Chinese restaurant, - to eat, of course!

I forgot to mention that today is

Vivid Sydney, it's just a festival

of lights, as you can see there are lots

of lights here, and tomorrow

I also forget to say this, because this week

I'm too busy, tomorrow I'm flying abroad

for a very short holiday, because recently

I've been too stressed due to work,

due to other things, and I just need a holiday.

So, I've been fed, and now I'm going to

the cinema to watch the new film,

Warcraft!

And now you probably can't hear me,

because I've totally lost my voice.

I'm at the end of the night. I really

liked the film World of Warcraft,

so if you liked this film, like it,

share it, subscribe to my channel,

f**k my voice, and I'll see you all in

the next film.

And if you're not there,

I'll steal your voice.