What every person can learn from dog training | Noa Szefler | TEDxJaffa

Today I am going to tell you

about a revolution.

A revolution of communication

a scientific revolution of observation.

With this revolution we become

the dog’s best friends

and we start to truly see dogs

as they deserve to be seen:

as our best friends.

You will see how dog training

can improve your own relationships,

and not just with dogs.

We already have the tools and knowledge,

and it's happening all over the world.

So picture this:

You come home, after a long day at work,

an annoying boss,

a never-ending traffic-jam

and as you reach home, your sanctuary,

you open the door, and instead of getting

that moment of peace and quiet

your dog attacks you at the doorway

jumping on you, barking and bouncing

and loving you to death -

not a fun way to be greeted, right?

So how do we react?

Do we get mad? Yell? Raise our knee?

And us reacting the way that we do

out of impatience, anger or misconception

is only understandable.

Misconception because most of the world

sees a dog's "unwanted behaviors"

as dominance based behaviors

power struggles

where dogs try to take charge

and boss us around.

Out of this misinterpretation

of dog's behavior we, dog lovers,

were convinced our relationship with

our dogs is based on a power struggle,

and that for the sake of our dogs

we should win this battle

assertively handling our best friends.

We had to punish them,

to subdue them, yell at them

and even hurt them

in the name of training.

Pelle, come!

Sit

Down

Good dog!

This is Pelle. Her name means wonder.

Even though she is a wonder-dog,

even Pelle had to be taught

there is a better way of showing

and getting affection than jumping on me.

I like that she’s exited to see me

but I don’t like to be attacked,

even if it is out of love.

So she was taught that the best way

to get the attention she wants,

is to come and sit in front of me

and wait.

And she also learned that

the attention is worth the wait.

Pelle, good dog!

The point is that we should

all know better,

science has proved it to us decades ago

dogs are not dominance driven creatures!

So why do we keep training them

as if they are?

Yet some of us don't appreciate dog hair

on our couch and want the dog

not to sit on it.

We have to understand

that when a dog sits on a couch,

he does it not because it represents

some ideal of control,

some representation of dominance

over our living room,

but because it is the most

comfortable place to lie in.

that is why you bought the couch

in the first place!

So once we understand that,

the dog only wants a nice worm

cozy place to rest on next to us.

Pelle, Place.

Good dog!

Then we can teach the dog

and reinforce the dog,

reward the dog,

for using that nice, warm, soft,

cozy place to rest on next to us.

Dogs should have rules,

and have boundaries,

but how do we do it?

There's a great example

that dog behaviorist, Kathy Sdao

uses to explain what usually happens

when people try to set boundaries:

Say you need to get somewhere,

so you hail a taxi, you jump in,

you close the door, you buckle up,

and you tell the driver:

"Don't take me to Tel-Aviv,

And also don't take me to Jerusalem,

And don't take me to Haifa".

Do you think the cab driver

will have any idea

where you want him to take you?

Of course the driver’s obvious question

would be "Where do you want to go?"

And dogs are just like that,

they want us tell to them

what we want them to do,

in fact they are desperately waiting

for our guidance.

It’s so easy when we tell people

what it is we want,

and then we get what we want.

People are no different:

I have this friend,

and I'm not going to mention names,

but she had this boyfriend,

and they were going out for about a year,

and things were about to get serious,

but the guy had this one trait

that drove her mad:

the guy possessed the incredible ability

to completely ignore a messy house.

I mean piles of laundry everywhere,

dishes in the sink overflowing,

stuff on the table – the works.

It drove her insane

and they used to fight about it

all the time.

And then, tired of fighting,

she decided to try a different approach.

Mine.

So she started capturing behaviors

she wanted him to keep,

small stuff at first,

when he put

his socks in the laundry basket,

when he washed one cup.

She rewarded those behaviors

with things he liked:

a hug, a movie,

anything that made him happy.

Gradually the house got cleaner

and less messy,

which was great!

But what was really amazing to her was

the affect this had on their relationship.

She started noticing

the things he did right,

and she found herself liking him more.

Today they are happily married.

And our graduates of the

Marker Training institute here in Israel,

led by Nuvi Carmel,

will testify the same thing:

how learning to train dogs

has completely changed their perspective,

not only in the dog training world,

but everywhere: their relationships with

their partners, their parents,

their neighbors, their children.

They stopped looking for what everyone

was doing wrong, and started

seeing the things that were right.

And that's the trick basically:

focusing on behavior you want to keep

and encourage,

then helping your subject -

whether it's a dog, or a person, or

any living being - to learn to offer it.

That's what the revolution is all about:

helping them learn.

Sounds simple in theory, right?

But what about the extreme cases?

Let's get back to dogs.

There’s a common example

that happens in many homes:

Let's take a ten month old

Golden Retriever mixed, "Keila".

Now Keila is your common house dog:

happy for attention, loves to be petted,

great with children.

The problem with Keila starts

when there's food or bones around.

Whenever anyone comes close

to her and her bone,

the dog tenses up and growls.

According to what we were lead to believe,

in order to take charge of a growling dog

and control the situation,

we had to punish them

every time such behavior occurred.

We had to raise our voice,

we had to yell: "Stop it Keila, bad dog!”

But is Keila a bad dog?

The truth is she is just a frightened dog,

terrified of the possibility

that someone might take her food

or her bones away.

In the past

we would have punished the growling,

the symptom really,

but in Marker Training

we want to treat the cause of the problem,

the emotion that is behind the behavior.

If Keila could speak our language,

this would be easy -

“Hey Keila, you have nothing to worry

about, we’re not going to take your stuff,

everything is OK!” -

But she doesn’t.

So let’s communicate with her

in a way she will understand.

Let’s teach her she has nothing to fear.

We’ll use classical conditioning to teach Keila

that every time we come close to her

and her bones,

we give her good things.

Good things happen

and we’re not taking anything away.

Then soon Keila will start to look forward

to us coming closer to her,

and the growling will disappear.

But most importantly – so will the fear.

How easy it is when doing it right.

It’s so simple without using force.

It’s such common sense, it’s so obvious.

So how come we still use force

as a dog training method?

The truth is a lack of knowledge.

And false believes about

what truly motivates dogs.

And this is what we’re all here to change.

The thing with dogs

is that they learn all the time,

they learn from us and about us.

And if they show this amazing ability

to learn, don't we owe it to them

to take responsibility

and teach them properly?

Our revolution is ongoing.

Dog lovers all over the world

have found a better way, a way to

establish constructive communication

with our learner,

to read their body language,

relying on studies that help us

to better understand dogs,

so we can help them

to better understand us.

And for those who found this way,

the results are amazing!

The dream of having a dog in our home

stopped being a nightmare – no more having

to be the ever vigilant "pack leader"

forever engaged in a battle for control.

It brought peace and love

back into our homes,

the way only dogs can.

The revolution is going on as we speak.

We have the tools and knowledge.

You can start doing this yourself.

With your spouse, your dog, your child,

start small, and you will see

big change happening.

Our dogs deserve it. And so do we.

Thank you.