Learning to Love Ourselves: An Orientation by Brother Phap Dung | #9

(bell)

How many of you have meditated before? Most of you

that's why you're here

So this activity of stopping and reflecting

is part of the human journey

right? it is an evolution of our species

we've come to a point now

where we're kind of conscious.
homo conscious

homo sapien. we're kind of

aware of our situation

so we're very blessed to have an
opportunity

to kind of stop and look at ourselves

and reflect

look at our situation

So hopefully this week stuff will come up

things will be revealed and you'll have some insights

that's what's wonderful about being human

that you're going to have
some moments of, aha!

Ok! (laughs)

so that's our hope for people

and our society

Find relief, is one thing,
finding de-stressing

is one thing

finding calm and peace is nice too

but the best is when you realize something

you have insight

so it's not just to stay calm and peaceful

because sometimes it won't be like that

in fact, it won't be like that forever

but the thing that is the most rewarding
and doesn't leave you

is when you have an insight

about yourself and about your journey

so that's what we do here in the monastery

the place for us to understand
our situation, our lives

our relationship, ourselves

as well as what's happening with the world

and so on. our relationships

So it's just a little kind of sharing
about what we do here

and my brother and I both we do it full time

so we're like professional
basketball players

you guys are visiting and
you're learning the game

but we do this as our lives

and we're not better than you

it's just that we've done it
a little bit longer

so let's sit comfortably, we'll listen
to the sound of the bell

just to take a moment

we've been on the road,
we've been on the plane

now we're sitting and just take a moment

and do a check in. My brother will invite
3 sounds of the bell

and you'll hear a lot of this

and every time you hear the
sound of the bell, it's just a check in

it's just to stop and check in

and one bodily sensation that you can
immediately return to is our breath

so right away you check in with
this in breath and this out breath

so you check in the quality of that breath

then you check in with your body

the breath helps us bring awareness
back to our body

so every time you hear a bell
or the clock chiming in the dining hall

or on your own even

remember it's to stop and just check in

with our breath, with our body

and if you stay long enough you can check in with your feelings

the sensation of your mind

how do you feel? if you're anxious,
if you're a little anxiety

you feel calm, so we train to
get used to that

so your week here

you should try to have more time
of this checking in

so my brother will invite the bell

and when you hear the bell

let the reverberation connect
with that reverberation

so we can close our eyes

and each one of us we have an energy

we also have a rhythm from
our bodily function

our heart especially
So we also have a rhythm

and our breath is a rhythm

so when you hear the sound of the bell
think of synchronizing

Ok? So our bodies sometime have tension

so with each in and out breath

we synchronize. and the out breath
you let go

out breath you relax, let go

so your body can help guide your mind

feel more at ease in your body

and with each sound.
my brother will invite 3 sounds

with each sound, the check in

checking in, we can feel the
quality of our breath

the quality of our bodily presence

embodying as well as our awareness
of our feelings, sensations

and just recognize it, whatever that is

breathing in, I enjoy my in breath

breathing out I enjoy my out breath

(bell)

we're gonna open our eyes just to check out there.

Anybody have a aha moment?

do you see, recognize something?

can someone... can share it? did you noticed anything?

I noticed my feeling yeah, anxiety and tension

yeah

where was it? around.. oh

wonderful... that's a... that's great

that's a aha. okay

why am I holding this fisk? anyone else?

recognize? anything?

yeah you see.. you recognize something?

just a situation that I can't control it

ahhh wonderful, yeah feeling uh

is it let it be? let it be, haha

thank you for practicing

so that's the, basically what we do here in the monastery is to stop and learn to

check-in with ourselves, society and the way it's structured out there

it doesn't really... it's not very conducive to uh you know moments like that

so it's not very productive. It's uh... we...

so you come to the monastery, you become less productive and more

I don't know what's the inverse of productive

is to...

can come back and stop and take care of ourselves

and recognize the wonderful things that are happening as well

so in a practice is to have pain, to have suffering, to have stress, to be overloaded

to be... burnt out. this is uh

you know that, that happens and to all of us. Even to us in the monastery.

But because we have community and we know how to practice

and we can also have recognized

that there are beautiful things happening as well and they can coexist

so you don't have to like, you know, heal or

have less suffering and then all of it gone

in order for you to enjoy being alive

enjoy being with... whatever you're having

so this, that's the

the practice... eventually you see that things are always dynamic, moving

and we become more uh, more

resilient, more able to hold it

so that's a quality what we have when we

become more stabçe. I call it being solid

like a mountain. So practitioner, one who learns to

stop and come back with themselves, they become at ease

with who they are. So they are not disturbed by when challenges

happen to them or when things don't go the way they it does

within their family, within themselves, expectation in society,

the way we react, our attitude is much more solid.

Much more stable.

And the more we give time to recognize the impermanence

the changes and the challenges and that the human drama

of being alive is there, it's part of it

so this is a way of

meditation and this practice here of stopping

of mindfulness helps us become more resilient.

We're not disturbed, we're more stable, more solid

so that's a quality that we can develop actually

so in meditation, in recognizing our breath, our mirror

in and out, we train ourselves

to be in constant awareness that things are always shifting.

You see the advantage why we're professional basketball players?

and then people outside don't train like that.

They think everything is permanent and things don't change

my loved one why are you different today?

How come you're so different? you're not the same person

I met before. Like what happened? You know you're not the same

person as 20 years ago. You know... so we are the

habit, you know, things are like that.

Because we don't have time to really reflect

on the nature of things

and our breath, moment to moment,

one feeling you have now, is not there anymore.

Just because you attend, you pay attention to other things.

So this is what we train in

to direct our attention and pay attention to

things.

And to also, hopefully your week here

you find time to pay attention to what is going well.

There's a lot in the news now, a lot of media about everything

going wrong and as a human species is a

weird mind. I don't think we're meant to be aware.

And specially, now with the internet, our mind is

not supposed to be aware of so many things

that are going wrong.

It's just like, you know every day you know

morning, afternoon, who listens to NPR here? yeah

oh gosh I had that habit every time I drive to work

in the morning, drive in the afternoon, it's the same news.

Do you remember that?

And it's constantly ah and then you're basically feeding

yourself.

Like this energy, this attention

to what is going wrong.

So our week here is to refortify ourselves

with freshness.

So the flower in us, we have a mountain,

but we also have a flower

right? So, freshness.

So wake up,

have a fresh thought, you know? Our habit

of grumpy and slamming the alarm is because

we have to work nine to five on a job that is tough

but we still have to do it but we don't allow

that kind of attitude to overwhelm us.

So we train to have, uh how these are

fresh thoughts and as a young monk, a novice monk

we learn these poems you know? When we open the door,

when we you get off the bed, you know our first gatha

we learn poem, four line poems that help guide our mind

to think fresh thoughts, wholesome thoughts

nourishing thoughts, joyfull miraculous thoughts.

Waking up this morning, I smile. I have 24

brand new hours before me

and I will enjoy it, yeah?

Something like that right? So you actually repeat that

right? When you wake up this is the training I used to hang

a leaf over my bed just to remember to do that.

There's one for stepping today. I will step and

if I inadvertently step on a bug

you know may it

be born in a place of peace

and so you raise compassion that

Today I will walk and I will create less suffering.

When you open the window there's another gatha.

When you turn on water so to retrain our mind to

recognize. It's like wow it's a gift to be born.

Our parents gave us this life and

eventually we have to return it back to the earth where

we, you know, we all came from right? Mother Earth gave birth to us.

And this awareness that you're listening to me, you understand what I'm going on

You have memories, things, it's like amazing

you know? as a human being like you understand

and I'm trasmitting ideas and you processing it and you're like

You know whatever, you know... you know, you're having your own conscious thought.

That's homo... sapien right?

Our ability to like wow, you know?

not only did we straighten our back and walk straight and feel a little proud

that we're better than the apes, maybe too proud?

Now we've destroyed everything but hopefully we become more conscious

meaning we also know what's right and wrong and what is helpful

and not helpful and what is more suffering and less suffering.

Hopefully that's where we're evolving. It seems like we are.

And we're being made to evolve that way in the last year or two.

And this a part of our evolution

to not see ourselves separate.

So freshness okay? Waking up and then creat that habit.

So mountain. So these are habits that we

training besides sitting still, touching peace,

feeling calm. These kind of typical things that we normally

associate with meditation, but those things are also impermanent

and can create a lot of suffering if you strive just for that.

So this is something you have to be careful about.

There's a lot of bad rep(utation) about meditation. It's because people are

seeing as technique to de-stress, to find peace, to find

happiness... so it becomes like a tool

like uhh, to to how to do a startup. It's like this

is how you get to peace and it doesn't work like that.

So here, yeah, we.. the way we approach meditation is

a whole way of being. A way of life. So that

happens right? When you wake up. So it's not in the meditation hall.

But it's an attitude, it's a whole way of looking at our place

as a human being. So it's a little more broad

than just the human drama, like when things don't go our way right?

So that's why kind of meditation fails. Because it's like in the

box of using it to get something and

we're in the zen tradition you know? And we say if you got it you

got to let it go. That's terrible. Like you

get it, you find peace and then you have to let it go.

Come on!

You know, Zen tradition is like that. As soon as you get it, yeah you

you know the saying? You find the Buddha?

Chop the head off. That's the tradition of zen.

And it means, uh, you know, even the object

of peace and happiness, and peace and calmness and

transformation, healing, all that. If you make that an object

to grasp, then you would just become

you know, uh, you're applying the same

thing, the habit, outside to meditation.

So freshness, mountain.

Qualities of how you move through the day okay?

And then, another quality that

pay attention to is, uh, our little uh, freedom, a little lightness.

Okay, are we free? So these are things that we can recognize

And then the fourth one is a kind of clarity.

These are qualities that we begin to

train and cultivate as a meditator, as a

basketball players dribble, shoot, they train in that and they

how many times they do it? like millions of times, right?

And here we train to be a moutain, that means, we don't get moved

by our emotions and by our paths and so on.

We recognize a whole, we become more resilient.

We're not afraid of suffering, we're not afraid of uneasiness

we're not afraid of someone irritating us

hmm boy I wish you could be a little bit more hmmm less you know?

Talk, less talkative.

You recognize: oh okay!
So you become resilient

to your own kind of judgment, you understand?

That's resilience. So you don't try to get rid of it.

But you kind of befriend it and it can actually be the

condition to have the "aha, that's why

I keep thinking like that, that's my mum!"

You know, "I can see it now!, you know like "That's

why I always want to jump in, to be the first one to share

because in my family no one listens to me" you know.

You have insight like that, it's the goal of why

we do all of this. And when you have that insight it's

Nobody can take it away from you.

and that is uh a real spiritual hapiness.

That's uh, you know, that's uh what

outside they don't teach and they don't have places to train and that.

And...

So this a kind of these things that we train in to be a mountain

to be fresh right? And these things have

to be trained. It's not the training that we got in the

last 30, 40, 50, 60 years.

Is in our family, in society, is kind of like a bit

imbalanced or kind of lit. I became very selfish

through my education and

professional, you know? Watching their budget,

my budget, our project, you know? And so you get

trained very differently. So you get kind of depleted

our spiritual, uh, our wholeness

our kindness, and so

and clarity, seeing things

and the nature of things. So when we come here we get to this

Look at him and to hopefully these other being

resilient, stopping having freshness and mountain

It kind of goes together that you begin to see clearly

things. Things more clearly.

Meaning, you recognize what's going on. "Oh this is craving.

Cool, I like it. I'm taking more then I need"

That's insight, you know? Or like "this is avoidance".

"Okay, this is judgement". So you begin to know

how to call things out as it is.

That is freedom. We don't

delude ourselves. And say "I'm a nice person" but actually you're very

selfish. You're like "whoa, actually I'm just kind of

greedy, because I want to be the nice person, the nicest person in the room"

And you call it out. He was like "that's greed actually, that's not nice"

You know? So anyway, these are all my experience right? So I'm, you know,
you find your own thing

But I have I have many realizations about myself and it makes me

happy. It's not like I become a better person. It's just now I'm kind of like

"Okay, I do that". And you, then, you become more

hopefully, more humorous about it. And that's where the resilience

come in. You don't judge yourself. You don't beat yourself up.

Well at first I beat myself up. I tried real hard and then I suffered really

bad... dug a hole, and then eventually had to climb up.

So I'll tell you, it's not always nice and dandy, like this.

It's progress and there's regress and then you go again, so

I don't want to promise you anything, because it doesn't work like that.

Each one of us would need to go through our ups and downs

I hope that's a, kind of like a disclaimer right? so don't blame us,

don't blame me. If you hit it this week, you know, you're supposed

to hit it.

And it's great to hit it while you're in a monastery, you know? because, you know

it's a, it's a good place to find out something about yourself.

That's hard. And I have to be honest

that, you know, I was so glad to be in community,

when you know. I hit my kind of like wall.

Yeah when you realize a lot of things all together

So here, we learn how to, you know, transform suffering

pain, whatever trauma, the different words for suffering.

Into lotuses or to recognize how they need each other

So we're not afraid of suffering, we're not afraid of irritation, not

afraid of judgment, not afraid of self-sabotage.

All of this stuff we call mud. Don't, the attitude is not to get

rid of it.

Attitude is to understand it.

And why is like that. The cause, you see.

So that uh-uh, then you become kind of like

not free from it but you kind of, kind of, you know, you found out the joker

you know, ahah "I know you've beein hiding out". An then you become

friend with it. And then you learn to have tea with it.

And then it doesn't bother you anymore. So it's not to get rid of it

to push it down, repress it and all that

but to learn to befriend or like our teacher would say

to cuddle it.

To learn and understand why

the baby cries and keeps asking for attention.

And when we're solid enough, we're fresh enough,

we have clear mind, we're free from being

like dominated by it, then that's an opportunity

to understand. So that's the basic

training we do here. And it's not easy. Things will come up because

you know we have to give ouselves some time, you know, there's 30, 40

50 years of training differently from our parents, from our

siblings, from our society, from our education, so

give yourself at least 50 years.

Yeah, come on. I was like, but it is all possible.

If anything requires some effort, some training, some

patience, some time, so that's something yeah

I hate to say this because, you know, it makes us want to achieve something

so that's where it's like, you know, there's a practice, there is a way

of being in the day that contributes to it.

Day by day. It's not like, I don't... we don't create an agenda

then okay after three months you get this, a year you get that.

So our practice is very organic and

some, yeah, sometimes, you get, you know, kind of surprises

which is wonderful.

So here we have hmmm

many practices to

create that condition for us

to return and to check in. Basically what is is, what I just share with you

that is the essence of why we do everything here.

Whether it's working, sitting, walking, eating, talking

interacting, avoiding, you know, hiding, whatever you do

is fine. As long you have those elements, okay?

I know I'm hiding. I don't like people, okay.

I know I don't like people, I'm going to my room.

You know mindfulness is not judgmental in that sense. It's like, okay

I'm going to run. I'm going to moutain. These people I had

enough. But outside is just a habit.

Here? okay?

Now and when you understand where it's coming from

and you're not disturbed by it, then you go okay, I'm gonna choose to

train to be there, right?

And so that's the choice and that's where the

retraining happens. And I had to do all of that. It's great.

I mean if you like it. If you... if you... I imagine that's why you're here

it's to check out who we are, some of our habits and to

see what is helpful and what is not. And so, when

we eat, we eat in silence.

Is to recognize the food and to enjoy

the meal. Because outside will rush to eat so the

habit of seeing meal is a, you know, just

to feel our stomachs so we can do our thing.

Here we recognize the food is a gift of those people

who cooked it, people picked it. So we learned to actually

it's a way of communicating with people who put energy.

The farmers, mother earth, the season, the sun.

So we retrain again to nourish our gratitude.

So each meal will begin with five contemplation to remind us,

to retrain ourselves, our attitude

and our approach to food that sustain us

water that we drink.

So when we eat, when we drink. It has that same atittude.

Like hmmm, cherish.

These things that keep us alive, that helps

and give us opportunity to practice okay?

So that's eating and we'll each will, will

serve in silence as well, you know, so it has

little bit of that contemplation and in the

monastery, the monks, the novices... we train

actually how to stand in line and mental thought

that we have, like "no, my stomach is empty"

I have a plate, a bowl and I'm about to get food.

So we conjure up all that gratitude and how

lucky we are to have a meal, to be standing in line.

So that's why we do things in silence. And when we serve

it's also nourishing. So we bring a new relationship to food.

Because it's such a prominent thing, activity, in our lives

so that's meditation as well.

And when we, we sit down, find a place to sit
and we'll wait and we'll begin

together and you'll see, just here

I shared the orientation stuff. You're not going to remember it.

But one thing you should remember is watch.

So you also learn to be in community.

We're always like, so like, in our little book, you know, we're always

you know in our little thing but, so we're also trained to

be aware what is going on in the room, what people are doing and

you just follow it, copy it. And why is that useful?

And when the kind of awareness, the mindfulness, that's also meditation.

You're aware of you're surrounding and that is

the most amazing thing to training in. You walk in the room

you sense the energy. When you go home, you have that

awareness. It's gonna help you with your relationship,
your children

your partner, your parents, your relatives.

You adjust, you see, it's pretty cool, so

when you're here trying to like

when you ask "What should I be doing?"
Don't wait for someone to tell you.

Try, intuitively, to figure it out.

That is the way to train in zen, you know?

Because we're so used to instruction and schedule and like what is it?

Procedures? Which is great! Yeah, we should be told, you know, what

to do, or not to do. But I just want to let you know, that the

underneath all that is - pay attention - where are people gathering.
There's a lot

of gathering in the monastery. When you hear the bell it's usually 15 minutes

before the gathering. Like "Where are people going? oh okay"

And then you go and you check it out. So that's a cool training.

I had to learn that, you know. And don't even look at your watch.

Listen to the bell. Hopefully the monks are invited on time.

But that's also I remember learning that not look at your watch

and the clock. That's a kind of way, a

humanizing way to train to listen to the bell

and you know the next activity. So this is where to gather

and so you begin to kind of like flow

more, you know? Rather like all right, what's next? okay you know it's like very

automatic and mechanical. Anyway I say this

with disclaimer, you know? because it's like, you know, gotta follow the schedule

you're gonna know the time. Is new for you, but I'm sharing with you if you stay

here after the fourth, fifth day, try to go to the advanced training.

Don't look at your watch. Because this would be amazing when you go home

because it makes you more heightened of other people

I guess in your house you normally are anyway, but at

work or even on freeway, at the grocery, you just

aware of like the energy and you can contribute

and you don't allow it to penetrate you

so this is a kind of way of training too. This is the advantage community.

You go to those meditation studios and shops. You sit and there's a cushion

and it's all very singular when you

come to a monastery with many people you can train

in being that dynamic, social

animal. And it's very, uh, very helpful.

As you become aware of how the environment impacts you, you know

Does that make sense? yeah. So that involves

eating, meditation as well.

Come in. It's hard to be silent. And that's another thing. Be aware

how you relate to sound. How you lose the door.

How you move the chair. Try to think of

not being loud, because it makes you more

sensitive and mindful and careful

So when you do that with doors, shoes, then

you begin to do that with relationship, with yourself.

More caring, more gentle, don't slam the door.

You see? The transfer.

So eating. So when you come in the sitting meditation? Try to come in,

you know, timely manner, sit down

and you know, pay attention to not disturb people.

So how you move, how you sit, you know

But if you see someone doing that, that's kind of nice too so

it might be you and maybe next time someone else.

They become the good object of other people's practice.

Shuffling his robe again, you know?

Yeah so everything is good, yeah? But try your best to come in

a timely manner. In the morning we sit at 5

45, is that tight? It's not six, right? Six was the retreat

5:45, so probably get there, 10, 5

10 minutes early, find your cushion and

you can sit on either side. I think the sister, the

nuns have some guests, this week, as well, but yeah find a spot

settle. And in sitting meditation

the attitude is to be present

and just enjoy like doing nothing

you know. There's no reason, you're not there to like achieve anything, you know.

You're there just to resist most of society

which is busy. And so our choice to sit still

is very unproductive, not good for the economy.

It's terrible for the economy, you know? But it's like

there's something else worth it, yeah. So that's what you're

you're helping with and you're contributing to that by

sitting.

I don't have to do anything. Just follow my breath.
You see how all

of the sudden that attitude. I was saying, you know, you're like

"Man I'm alive! One day I'm gonna be in the

hospital". Anyway, that's the deep looking and reflecting

which is another aspect of meditation. So it's not just stopping and you

know, and being calm, being peaceful. But then

when you're, you know, you have that habit and you settle

and you have a easily look at clear mind

and so when emotion, things come up we also look

and contemplate and whole feelings

thoughts, notions, emotions, judgement

So the meditation has this aspect of inducing

insight like "oh, yeah, I get it

now I know why it's like I'm in this situation"

you see? and he even has like, you can rehearse okay? I'm

gonna talk to her today and

I'm gonna share very kindly, you visualize it

it's amazing. They do this in sports now. They learned it from us.

Yeah, you ever heard of, what is it?

Phil Jackson? Yeah, he became meditating

He taught Jordan how to meditate. It's pretty cool huh?

And that's how they became so good. Don't get caught with

the ball you just missed, stay in the present moment.

Don't think, you know. So in meditation we can use

some point where we actually can have some

subjects to reflect on. So please remember that, okay?

So meditation, this activity we do. And every activity we do

is to reflect on what we are doing and being present for that

activity.

So that's most of the activity in our

training is to be present to it and

to stay with it. When you're distracted you stay so

that's the development of concentration

and when you create that habit

it can be applied to many things. When you're speaking

when you're listening

you bring that kind of mindfulness to it. "I'm listening, ah, okay"
"Now I'm commenting, okay"

"I like", "I don't dislike, okay", "this comparing mine okay"
"oh yeah. he sounds like", "oh actually he's quite..."

Then you recognize how good of a listener you are.

And how much of a commentator you are.

And actually if you leave here in a week, you know,

the quality of your listening ability, that is a great plus.

It's already worth it. Everything else is profit.

Sorry to use all these terms, beneficial. It's extra.

So this is a...

Yeah and it's also fun too. I... just for myself

I be... I was too serious, I wanted to be like

100%, 24-hour mindfulness monk

and I... my liver hardened

after a while. They thought I had cancer.

But I knew it was just the tightness of my mind trying to achieve again

And I was trained in the school system. How to be at the

was it? the top of the curve or the edge of the curve? What did they call it? The tip of the

curve? It's like the front of the curve? Yeah, the bell curve

I was really intensely trained in that.

Went through a school sustem that was... that's all they think about.

So I try to do that as a monk.

So these are things to be careful about.

Are striving.

Sitting. The attitude there is just to do nothing.

But to enojy being alive and it's actually

it's a privilege because most of the society can't do that.

So we do it for them.

To sit still and be unproductive.

And not to feel guilty about it.

And you don't have to excuse, make excuse your parents

to your friend

And we need more of that in society. So busy.

Yeah and we don't have time to take care of ourselves.
So when we have time

just to sit and love ourselves and care for ourselves.

And not have to prove anything to our parents, our loved

one, to our partner. We are doing it for them.

Because when we are more accepting of ourselves

we just a nicer person. I became a nicer person.

I didn't walk around trying to have, you know, what is it? I have a chip on

me. I'm always like upping people, you know that?

The young people say they use this thing called "upping"

One up, yeah, you find a new partner and then they say

my niece, they say, is that your new boyfriend? and are you upping or

I don't know, it's the way they speak. And sometimes when we talk

and we... I was like, I recognize that. I like to be like always

with the smart thing to say or... it's so tense

And when I recognize that I was like that, "wow why do I do that?"

"why do I, why do I have..." and it's painful to do that

and that. You kind of like stomp on other people. So in way

you know, it's like when we can just stop and sit

and be quiet and just enjoy the sun, the clouds

Is a way of just being comfortable.

At ease with ourselves. That is love. We're learning

to love ourselves and to celebrate

you know, I've been reading and studying a lot
about the different science disciplines

and it's making me so heightened aware

what a gift it is to be a human being.

And we're only in this kind of awareness

for 80, 90 years, if we're lucky.

Isn't that a miracle? Then after that you become a like a flower or

ashes or, you know, weed or fungus or maybe a mushroom

But right now, you know, it's like, you know,
we get to explore things, you know

And I was sharing the last time I talked like Richard Feynman said

we are so lucky we are like at this scale that we

manifested at this particular scale.
I'm gonna repeat myself, you know

And not... because at this scale you get to really enjoy infinitely small

that we had, you know, and then the infinitely large

isn't that cool? it's like saying "man, your eyes are at this particular

scale". You get to enjoy this, the flower

And then you can actually start to look at the cells

and isn't that amazing? and then moving into

the emotional feeling, like we get to feel pain.

When say someone said something

I know it it doesn't sound like it's very useful

but as a meditator you can actually wow that was painful

And learn to be with that. When we kind
of cyber touch ourselves

And we learn to be comfortable with that

and not to double shoot it with another arrow

So we begin to see all that. And this is my

some my realization, some of my habits that I did

And I got that from my family. So these are things

when we sit, we're sitting and taking care of ourselves,

loving ourselves and when we do that, we're doing it for our loved ones.

And doing it for all those who can't do that

who don't have a choice because of their situation

so we're not seeing, it's not selfish. It's actually quite uh and

when we leave we will be a nicer person

and people who benefit from our energy, our kindness

our carefulness, so this is

I hope for you, you know, that whatever you need to find

and you touch here, that you can replenish
yourself on your time here

And like I shared these different habits, you can also retrain.

So here you can find relief, maybe,
you're overwhelmed, you're burnt out

you can find some of that but I hope also you can

recognize a habit that you have and retrain it

whether you're afraid of people or you're judgmental or you're restless

or you're whatever, tight, whatever it is that you habitually have as

a body, as a, you know, in this body or

or in your mind, your mental. Those two things, body, mind.

We have the habits or we're constantly thinking

this is the hardest habit. We're not used

to not thinking. I asked the young man, we shared this to a

young man and he looked at me and he said
"what's going to happen if I stop thinking?"

You know, as if, like... like he didn't know what it was

so I totally understood that but he was afraid like something

like is going to happen, you know. That's how he

how he framed it. So we're so used to

constantly commenting on things, you know that?

Like how many of you have partners?
You live with your partner? okay

This... that happens a lot. It's like every little thing, you know

It's like comment, comment back and forth, not sustainable.

I mean.. he learned to kind of

that's like a gift to your partnership.

That's love. That's care. When you don't comment.

It's like "I love you" and they can feel it, you know, like
"Ok honey"

"What happened? One week at the monastery and you're silent?"

So... I love you just the way you are.

That's oh, people have shared that with us.
It's like "wow", it's a miracle.

You know to... to... just not comment... so anyway

things to retrain. Habit okay? find one

Learn a habit that you have that is not helpful

and actually creates suffering for yourself and
for other people and train yourself here

Okay remember basketball. This will help you.

A week you can do it. You have many other habits.

And they were all trained as well so

I just hope you can recognize that

And the bell here, like I shared. You hear the bell,
just stop what you're doing

and it's a little mechanical at first but it's our teacher's

kind of insight in how our society is

We're so like triggered by sound, especially our cellular phone

That it's like... it's triggers us, stresses us

so our society has so many sounds that makes us

like rats, right? Sorry that's not a put down

but running right?

And so the bell. You hear the bell, invited for the activity.
You hear the

clock chime, you're gonna, you know, first time you experience it

it's kind of weird, it's kind of like "wow" right?

And just recognize that everyone is doing, is checking in right?

So we're retraining ourselves. We're such a habitual animal

We might as well train good habits, which is stop

good thoughts, fresh thought, "what's going on?"

"why am I rushing?", see?

Meditation. Each moment can be a meditation.

If we stop, take a breath.
That's why we train in breathing

because it becomes the basic, you know

Do Re Mi Fa So, right? You master that

Awareness of breath.

Take a breath and you recognize I'm sitting.

I'm rushing. I'm walking calmly.

So every time you hear the bell, that is what

we are training in. You see the monks and people here that

are doing that and silent sometimes can trigger

to, specially in homes that are a little bit

tough, like eating a meal in silence or

just silence in general, it kind of... we're not

if we're a family that had like a lot of... like my family... when there's

silence in my family, I mean, somebody is not happy

Yeah and then... I'm scared because I'm waiting for the door to slam

sometime. So that could be a trigger but

here, the silent we'd retrain to be at ease

And pay attention to the miracle

to the fresh thoughts on planet earth

You know where the moon is? it's sort of new

Where is it? The sun went down so it's around

over there. This new moon, so you become like

fully aware that you're a planet as well. It's kind of cool.

If you meditate long enough, you're aware of like where it is

like constantly and that's kind of awareness, that's

non-human

what does that help? it takes us out of our

thing. Whatever you're dealing with, so when you hear the bell

it's just stop and then bring some perspective to it

so when you train that you can use it when you go home

when you're at the stop light, when you hear the siren

you hear a bird, so everything, if you train

it becomes a bell, a potentially big bell for you

Do I need to be, saying this, you see? So it becomes

a habit of questioning what are you doing and why are you

doing it.

And that is so useful those two questions. What am I doing?

Why am I doing this?

Okay, all right. Do I need a video, I think? And you
know I said you have a different

approach that is the secret to being in relationships.

You know, but it takes some training because
unfortunately our loved ones

know all of our weak buttons, our weak points right?

So we need to become resilitent, a mountain. Is like...

yes, honey, I love you too!

You know it's like, you know... it's a

anyway I don't want to get into that. And working let me...

share about working. Working is also a chance
for you to train in habit of

being productive, working fast and so on

I won't go through everything. There's silence, meals

activities. I hope... I haven't done orientation

for many many years and I totally forget

On what I need to cover. In the sharing room,
how many are you sharing room?

yeah, yeah. It's part of our community life as well.
And there's some

little bit, you know, adjusting to do. Because we're so used to

being in our own room, our own space. So in a way it's

also kind a re-culturalized ourselves to

be with people and meeting people
and sharing room.

Being sensitive and taking care of each other so

knowing... that's beautiful, that's a beautiful quality

of being in community.

And that's something we kind of
loose a little bit with the way

society and school is trained is to be the individual and

just stay in your fence, mind your own business

and you know... and so on.
So we live in community

We're aware of each other and yeah we become

sensitive to that, to other people's
needs and well their well-being

So this is also part of our practice.

It's not just meditation solo. And so our tradition is

not like reclusive, separate

But it is to re-socialize ourselves. How to be with

other people. Many of us, have a little bit, especially

in the last year or two, a lot of anxiety and fearfulness

is there. So it's so...

linked to our unhappiness. When we don't

connect with people, you know. And see each

other's faces and make eye contact.

So this something we can also,
when we train here we, of course

we don't want to intrude in other
people's spaces but when you

sensitive you can actually be an
element in society that

doesn't, you know, that can resist that, you know

I was sharing that sometime recently. I was eating

by myself. I went to the dentist and I was eating a

impossibile burger, a fat burger

and it's very crowded but like people don't talk to each other.

And I sat there and actually a feeling of loneliness

came up. A long, just a long time since I felt like that

and it's because people outside would think it's

unusual if I talk to them, you know what I mean?
People are like

you know... yeah so... everybody's
got a little thing and nobody

like talks to each other. Even the partner I remember

in front of me, they're both eating
but they're on their thing.

Whatever their gadget... so in society we need more

of a... so when I go walking down

whatever recently just doing... what was that... where was I?

I see old people and you know I tried to talk to them and say hello

I met a mother and a child and he's like "mom, mom"

and I just stopped in front of them and
he's like "whoa" and I was like "do you know who I am?"

And the boy said "Mom"

and then his mom said "a monk?"

"Yes, did your mom tell you that?" "Yeah"

And so, you know, you can be
an element that, you see,

mindfulness. Our place.
And it makes

contributes to, it balances out the anxiety, the fear

and a lot of news, NPR, right? and politics
and all of this stuff that's dividing us

And making us feel that that's the world.
But actually it's the news

and they report and they shape our mind.
We need to get hold of what happens to our 24 hour

And go out there and interact. How you stand in the elevator

you know? And then, it's kind of cool... you look around and you

Actually you recognize people. I mean, disclaimer, okay?

Do at your own risk. But I already
look unusual so I have an

advantage. People forgive me because,
you know, I'm already weird-looking

So I get to do weird thinks, you know?
It's like, it's so great in the elevator

You ever done that? Don't do it but I get to do that.
I'm like looking around...

And people... you'll catch somebody
smiling and that for me, is like

Makes the elevator ride profit.

So anyway, this is... you know,
our... yeah... it's so wonderful

To be... don't let the media shape

how we think what is happening as a human

family, okay? So as we practice here, we

can generate that mind

I hope that is kind of... is clear a little bit.
And so we're not just

practicing for ourselves, you know.
We all have things that we're

dealing with... but is not as bad we
really think about it.

You might take you now, go
to Palestine, go to Bhutan, you know...

We're actually, you know...
pretty, pretty

set. But, you know, we have our
human drama.

And we're here to, you know,
learn how to relate to it differently

So we hope, this week, for you, that you find good friends

find community and also

find this beautiful person that you are.

And that we are enough. In society.
Our friends, our loved ones sometimes

sometimes gives us messages that are little mix

but we are enough. The marketing,
the media

you know, their whole purpose is to
make us feel like we're not enough.

So please, if you touch anything please,
you know, acknowledge

and feel like, you know, and
don't wait for someone.

A teacher, another person, your
loved one.

Be your best friend.
Be your soulmate.

And love yourself like you
would love, you know

the most valuable valuable person, yeah?
So this is what's a miracle is about

And when you do that you just
automatically, naturally,

without effort, a nicer person.
So you don't have to

attract anybodyt. You're just like
happy with who you are.

And it's like, it's fine if... you know

yeah so you don't need to kind of look
for acknowledgement

or acceptance and this is the power of

meditation.
We become at home with ourselves

And this is, you know, the most valuable thing

in society, in right now.
A human being who is content

with who they are, even with their suffering

so this is, if you think about it, that is
the most valuable thing

that, right now, that we need in society

Is someone who is happy
with their situation.

Not like "happy birthday" but they are

they know their situation and they
are doing their best

So that's the power of the practice.

So I practice, you know, year in year out,

and for me that's... I've just learned that's what

I've learned to accept myself where
I'm at

I'm not afraid that I still have this or that.
I'm in process.

It's kind of like a... I love that... I learned that from school

And it's aways in process so
we don't try to fix ourselves

I am like this so we lock ourselves in

but in process it's so beautiful, it's like
anything that's living

plant, animal, especially flowers and plants
in the springtime.

They're always in process right?
Going back to the earth, fall, winter.

Spring, right? So we are cyclic.

So is our emotions. Is up somehow, winter
Okay...

Sometimes we have more than four
seasons in a dar and it's okay.

It's great.

So that's a... I hope you can
touch some of that.

Thank you for listening and
smiling behind your mask

So beautiful, you know.
We don't need our mouths

to know that we're smiling. Why
is that?

Isn't that great? It's like "wow"

So what else do we need to know that we're
smiling right?

So it's so beautiful. See your
eyes, you know.

So please, yeah... Hope you find some
good friends here.

Connect. And now we'll create more community.
And that will have reverberation, yeah.

We're... the brothers are so excited, its
like "Man there's 27 people coming"

Like oh, like it's great, so we we

Yeah, that's how much... When you leave
in a week, because we don't go back,

you go back... and that's how much...
There's 27 people going out

with smiley faces and knowing
themselves better.

So for us it makes our lives much
more meaningful

for you to practice and to be

wholly, who you are, fully.

Thank you. We can end here
with the song

Can we sing? I'll sing a line
and you can repeat after me

For those who are new.

Hapiness is here and now.

Happiness is here and now.

I have dropped my worries.

I have dropped my worries.

Nowhere to go,
Nothing to do.

Nowhere to go,
Nothing to do.

No longer in a hurry.

No longer in a hurry.

Again.

Hapiness is here and now.

I have dropped my worries.

Now somewhere to go,
something to do.

Somewhere to go,
Something to do.

but no longer in a hurry.

No longer in a hurry.

Is that right?

But I don't need to hurry, yeah
very similar.

So that's a song we will learn to sing more
and there's a lot of singing

around here and I hope you don't
mind singing. When I first came

to monastery said "what's all this
singing?"

So there's a lot of joy and singing in
the song, so let's

sit beautifully and we can hear and come
back to the singing of our breath.

We can close our eyes.
And we'll hear three sounds of the bell

and we come back to a sense of trust.
We've somehow found the condition

for us to come up here, to be
in the mountain, in the monastery.

In feeling grateful for all the conditions.

That will make this week happen.

Those who are not used to this gesture
is like a lotus, right?

And it's the way we express our
gratitude to each other

and we can also greet each other in this way.

We bow to each other, like that.
In our mind we think fresh thought

is a lotus for you. A beautiful
person you are so that's

the way we greet each other in
the monastery.

Or that the Buddha nature in you is alive,
you know. Kind of look in their eye.

So you recognize and you see
like they're a miracle

Like you make eye contact.
That's a very human quality.

It's like wow... you have that awareness

It's amazing. You look at an animal
too and they have it.

So that's the human... the Buddha
nature, like wow

We also... there's a lot of communication
in eye contact.

So much that sometimes is scary, like
wow

But it's not amazing? That's a real
miracle. So we bow like that.

So we do the same gesture when we
stand up after every activity most

and we bow to each other to express that
quality that we all have and share

So we paid gratitude to that.
And then we turned to the altar

which represents all of our teachers,
our ancestral teachers, all the beautiful people

who developed and kind of
like owned this tradition.

Basically all the humans before, who are
doing this, raising awareness and then

now it's coming to us and we're learning it.
So it's a gratitude to all the teachers

who come before us.
So that's what that gesture is about

So these are small sounds of the bell
that help us stand up and we stand

behind our cushion. It's also to make gratitude
to the cushion and the mat.

For somewhat making it a little
softer to our knees and our feet right?

And the cushion helping us sit.
And this cushing has helped many people

have "aha" moments.
Even material things, you

learn to respect. It's like "why do you
bow to a cushion?"

It's like, you know... that cushion right there
someone sat there and cried

for the first time, you know. So
the cushion, we also pay gratitude

and everything, you know.
You can bow to the tree, you can bow to the sky

So it's kind of like helping us be relating
to material thing. Bow to our food.

Some people can bow to the sanitation machine.

I've seen somebody do that before
they turn it on. They're like...

And I was like "what?", you know.
I almost opened my mouth and

it's like "why did you bow to the machine?".
Then I stopped and I was like "oh, okay, I get it"

Anyway, these are some of the etiquette or
culture of the monastery.

Have a good rest.
Maybe we can help bring the mats and cushion back.