-
Mr. Haney is about to
post a list that tells us
which teacher we'll get this year.
-
[ Students Gasp ]
-
- [ Buster Whimpers ]
- Uh-oh!
- Oh! Forgot a tack.
-
Huh?
-
[ Students Groan ]
-
There are three teachers
for third grade--
-
Miss Sweetwater, she's nice...
-
- Mrs. Fink, she's fun...
- [ All Cheering ]
-
- [ Man ]
Billy, name three oceans.
- [ Students Gasp ]
-
and Mr. Ratburn,
the toughest,
scariest teacher in school.
-
No, in the whole world.
-
No, in the whole history
of the world.
-
[ Boy ]
Oh, here comes the list.
-
Let's go look.
-
Arthur, we're...
-
in the Rat's class!
-
[ Students Screaming ]
-
[ Francine Narrating ]
"Arthur and the Real Mr. Ratburn".
-
[ Roaring ]
-
[ Laughs ]
-
[ Screaming ]
-
Maybe you read
the list wrong, Francine.
-
Let me look.
-
[ Students Gasp ]
-
[ Groans ]
-
You're right.
It's Ratburn!
-
Ratburn, Ratburn, Ratburn,
-
Ratburn, Ratburn, Ratburn--
-
Ratburn, Ratburn,
Ratburn, Ratburn...
-
Ratburn, Ratburn--
-
--burn, Ratburn, Ratburn--
-
Free samples
of a new flavor,
rocky road. All you can eat!
-
Maybe he's not
as rigorous
as everyone says.
-
Prunella had him last year.
Let's ask her.
-
[ Laughs ]
"Is the Rat bad?"
-
Does a bull fight?
He eats nails
for breakfast...
-
without milk!
-
And make sure you
never answer
any questions wrong...
-
or he'll send you to death row.
-
Death row?
-
[ Ratburn ]
Have you done
your math exercises?
-
I did the first 5000, sir.
-
Then you have
9,995,000 left!
Get to work!
-
And after that,
you have 37,000,000
spelling words to memorize.
-
And you spiders, get moving!
-
And he's also a weird vampire...
-
with hypnotic, magic powers.
-
You are in my power.
-
[ Students Chanting ]
We do not like recess.
-
Well, good luck!
-
[ All Groaning ]
-
[ Kid ]
Oh, he's coming!
Oh!
-
Oh!
Oh, dear!
-
[ Whispering ]
He's coming!
-
- [ Gasps ]
- Shh...
-
Good morning, everyone.
-
[ Gulps ]
-
Welcome to grade three.
My name is Mr. Ratburn.
-
He doesn't look so bad.
-
It's probably a trick.
-
Let's start with a
two-minute math quiz
-
to see what you
remember from second grade.
-
I told you it was a trick.
-
[ Kid ]
Yeah! This is nice!
-
Yeah! I love this!
-
[ Kids Laughing ]
-
♪ Welcome to the
First day of school ♪
-
♪ School is cool,
School is cool ♪♪
-
[ Ratburn ]
Arthur Read?
-
You'd better concentrate
on those problems,
-
before time's up.
-
[ Timer Ticking ]
-
[ Bell Ringing ]
-
[ Kids Cheering ]
-
Class, you may now file out
in an orderly fashion.
-
Quietly. No talking.
-
Arthur Read,
-
are you standing in your
proper alphabetical position?
Huh?
-
Boy, Ratburn's tough!
-
He gave us homework
on the first day.
-
Get with it, Arthur.
-
We're not dealing
with a human being here.
-
This is serious!
-
[ Both Gasp ]
-
Whoa!
-
You find it yet?
-
[ Ratburn ]
Hello, this is Mr. Ratburn.
-
Shh!
-
- Uh-oh.
- Yes, I have all the eyes I need,
but I'm completely out of heads.
-
I need heads. I can wait
for girls' heads,
-
but I must have
boys' heads immediately.
-
Wait, he'll see us!
And we have...
-
boys' heads!
-
There's no time!
I need them now.
-
I'll have to get them myself.
-
[ Screaming ]
-
[ Both Gasp ]
-
What are you doing?
-
[ Screaming ]
-
Ratburn. He, he's
looking for body parts--
-
heads! Boys' heads!
-
You must have heard wrong.
A vampire doesn't need heads.
-
This is no ordinary vampire.
-
He's beyond vampire.
-
- What's beyond a vampire?
- A Ratburn.
-
- [ Both Screaming ]
- Where are you?
-
Hey! What--
-
Stand still. He wants
boy heads, not girls'.
-
Breakfast!
-
What do you think
he's gonna do with that saw?
-
I read a book
where kids discovered
a scary mystery like this,
-
and became detectives
to solve it.
-
We should probably investigate.
-
You know, we have a lot
of homework to do.
-
You're just a fraidy-cat.
-
Arthur, we have to choose--
-
face horrifying,
scary danger,
or do our homework.
-
[ Arthur, Francine ]
Horrifying, scary danger.
-
Hmm.
-
[ Whistle Blows ]
-
[ Francine ]
I'm bored.
-
He's not doing
anything weird.
-
You probably heard him
talking about heads of lettuce.
-
Boy heads of lettuce?
-
- I don't think so, Francine.
- Oh, yeah?
-
It's probably the term grocers use
for the rotten ones.
-
I'm gonna do my homework.
-
Arthur, look!
-
[ Both Gasp ]
-
- Oh!
- [ Arthur Gasps ]
-
[ Beeping ]
-
- M-Maybe we should
go do our homework.
- Come on!
-
He went into the carnival.
-
Of course he went
into the carnival.
Look at all those boy heads!
-
We've got to warn them.
-
Oh, no! He's got us!
We're trapped!
-
Look! There he goes!
Come on!
-
He went into that booth.
-
[ Screaming ]
-
Okay, it was that one.
-
This is very authentic,
Mrs. MacGrady,
-
but I'd prefer
a real action pose.
-
- [ Horse Neighs ]
- Oh!
-
Sorry, sir!
-
Okay, I pick this time.
-
[ Both Gasp ]
-
[ Arthur, Buster ]
One, two, three, go!
-
[ Audience Laughing ]
-
Run away!
-
You're not safe!
He'll get you!
-
- Huh?
- Hey!
-
You're not in this story.
-
And you're doing my lines!
-
I warn Jack to run away,
but not till he hears "Fee-fi-fo--"
-
you know the drill.
-
[ Ratburn Whispers ]
Arthur, Buster,
get off the stage!
-
Okay, fellas,
when you leave that castle,
make a left, down that beanstalk,
-
and you'll be back
in Elwood City.
-
[ Laughing ]
-
Wow! The Rat does
kids' puppet shows?
-
Jack, you're disorganized.
-
You'd forget your head
if it wasn't attached.
-
Uh-uh!
Would not!
-
Grab your head and hide!
Here comes the giant!
-
[ Kids Screaming ]
-
Arthur, look!
[ Gasps ]
-
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
-
[ Audience ]
Eww!
-
They always crack
when I do that.
-
I must go through
50 boy heads a year.
-
[ Arthur, Buster ]
Boy heads!
-
I can never have
enough boy heads.
-
We didn't know
you made puppets.
-
Can't talk, boys.
I have 40 seconds
to get Jack ready.
-
Must always stay on schedule
because of all I do.
-
You do a lot!
You're a teacher, a coach,
you work on the school paper--
-
[ Chuckles ]
I can't even find time
to do my homework and eat!
-
You need to learn
to organize your time.
-
I've heard that some people think
I give a lot of homework.
-
[ Arthur, Buster ]
We never heard that.
-
But once you've learned
good work habits, you'll discover--
-
Jack! Where are you?
-
[ As Jack ]
Just a second!
-
The cat rolled my head
into the litter box.
-
[ Normal ]
You're capable of
more than you think.
-
I'll teach you
how to do that homework,
-
and then have more time
for things you enjoy.
-
Like how you do
all that stuff, plus puppets?
-
Exactly.
-
Ah!
Two seconds early.
-
Self-discipline is as
important to learn
as two plus two.
-
[ As Jack ]
Okay, I got my head
on straight!
-
Hey, man,
your head's on straight,
-
but your body is backwards!
-
Please don't stand there.
I have to concentrate
on my work.
-
Oh, sorry.
-
Boy, were we wrong.
-
By the way, boys,
I can't wait to see
your Geography projects tomorrow.
-
[ Screaming ]