-
Today, sir, l thought
we might begin the day with an aspirin...
-
preventative medicine
being so much the mode.
-
lt's too late, Geoffrey.
l already have a headache...
-
just anticipating that infernal hammering
at the office.
-
l thought the workmen
were supposed be done by yesterday.
-
Shockingly enough, Vivian,
they're behind schedule.
-
Dad, it's so obvious.
-
lf all that hammering is bothering you,
just tell them to quit it.
-
l don't even want to talk about it.
-
These are the only moments
of peace and quiet l'll have all day.
-
Another aspirin, sir?
-
Perhaps a gun.
-
What the devil is he doing up there?
-
I Got The Power by Snap.
-
Snap is a great band.
-
When Crackle and Pop cut a disc,
then call me.
-
-What's so funny?
-Carlton told a joke.
-
No, Hilary. Carlton is a joke.
-
Mommy, who's gonna take me
to my tennis lesson after school today?
-
Are you sure it's tennis today?
Maybe you'd better check your schedule.
-
Schedule?
-
My parents bought me this calendar
so l could keep my lessons straight.
-
Didn't you have a schedule
for after school at my age?
-
Yeah, the TV Guide.
-
See, Monday is for ballet,
Tuesday is riding, Wednesday is violin.
-
l thought today was violin, sweetie pie.
-
You mean Ashley would have shown up
for her violin lesson in her tennis outfit?
-
l just pictured it.
-
l'm two for two.
l'm going to quit while l'm ahead.
-
May l suggest retirement?
-
Keep them coming, Will.
-
So, Mommy, who's going to drive me?
-
There's a growing pollution problem
in this city, and l will not contribute to it.
-
l absolutely refuse
to drive anybody anywhere...
-
until a responsible car pool is organized.
-
But, Hilary, Ashley is in a car pool.
-
l just don't want to do it, okay?
-
l have an idea.
-
Will, you don't have any chores
this afternoon. You can drive Ashley.
-
Word up. Kick over the keys to the Jag.
-
-The Benzito?
-The station wagon.
-
Come on, you're gonna ruin my rep.
-
You're only 17. You don't have a rep yet.
-
You'll drive her to her class,
wait for her there, and bring her home.
-
Come on, l got to sit through
a hour of them scratchy violins?
-
You might learn something.
-
The same thing l learned
from banging my head against a pole:
-
Don't do it again.
-
This is your new job.
-
Wednesdays you are Ashley's driver.
Understood?
-
Yes'm.
-
l'll be more than happy to drive you
to the Piggly Wiggly, Miss Daisy.
-
l'm sorry.
-
Ladies, hold it. Wait a minute.
-
Let's try something different.
Everybody just repeat after me, okay?
-
Come, girls! You are late.
-
Now let's begin with the piece
you were to memorize...
-
from Stravinsky's
VioIin Concerto in D minor.
-
And remember, you are playing this...
-
for a woman
who was the great Stravinsky's lover.
-
One, two, three, four.
-
Faster!
-
Stop!
-
You, there. What you do here?
-
l'm Ashley's cousin.
l was just waiting to drive her home.
-
You make me kind of nervous
with that stick, lady.
-
You dare to read
while great Stravinsky is played?
-
l wasn't as tight with the man
as you were.
-
Do not attempt to make joke with me.
l was lover of both Laurel and Hardy.
-
Guess that look really works for you then.
-
Hey, Ash, that was decent
to listen to that kind of music...
-
without having to see
Freddy Krueger kill somebody.
-
-l'm glad somebody enjoys it.
-What, don't you?
-
Not yet, but when l'm older,
it will be very useful to me.
-
No, wait. That's tennis.
-
-Who told you that?
-My dad.
-
Just because your dad likes something,
doesn't mean you have to like it.
-
He likes being a lawyer.
You don't have to be a lawyer.
-
l am going to be a lawyer.
-
Ash, the world does not need
another Philip Banks.
-
We might not have enough farmland
to support the one we have.
-
No, the world needs an Ashley Banks.
-
Girls, you must remember
to practice more, no?
-
Violin is very jealous,
much like the sexy Toscanini.
-
lf you even look at another,
it will not speak to you for days.
-
But if you give all of yourselves,
it will fulfill your every need...
-
and set your very soul on fire.
-
What does she mean by that?
-
Let's just say that lady expects a lot
from a piece of wood and some strings.
-
-Your aspirin, sir.
-Thank you, Geoffrey.
-
Do you attribute your headaches, sir...
-
solely to the ongoing construction
in your office...
-
or do you suppose there might be
a stress factor involved?
-
This is how my day went, Geoffrey.
-
At 9:00, they were pounding.
-
At 10:00, they were jackhammering.
-
By noon, a pneumatic drill came into play.
-
And, Geoffrey,
they were just repainting the office.
-
l'd say that's cause for stress.
Wouldn't you?
-
You know, sir, the Earl of Cranbrook...
-
to whom l was in service
for several years...
-
suffered from the most severe headaches.
-
And you're saying these were caused
by some sort of stress?
-
l should very much doubt it.
-
He spent his days riding to the hounds,
and his evenings...
-
attending rather pleasant dinner parties
with his delightful wife, Lady Celia.
-
Now, she was a terribly good
snooker player, one of the best.
-
-One night, she bet--
-Geoffrey.
-
Where does the stress come in?
-
lt certainly doesn't
in Lord Cranbrook's case.
-
l never saw a calmer household.
-
Then what was the point of the story?
-
Sheer entertainment, sir.
-
What the devil was that?
-
l believe the technical term
is a ''rim shot.''
-
Who did it?
-
Utter speculation, of course,
but my guess is Master William.
-
Ashley, honey...
-
where is your violin?
-
-Big Sal has it.
-Big Sal?
-
He owns this great store
where you don't need any money.
-
You just go in and give him something
you don't even want anymore...
-
-and he gives you this ticket. Then--
-A pawnshop?
-
-You took her to a pawnshop?
-Yeah, it was really hard, too.
-
You don't have many pawnshops
in Bel-Air. That's really a shame.
-
-l had to go all the way to East LA.
-East LA?
-
-They gave me a great deal.
-They gave you a set of drums.
-
And...
-
l made them throw in a little gift
for each of you. Close your eyes.
-
-Vivian!
-l want my present.
-
Okay, open.
-
What a lovely antique necklace.
-
-What is this?
-Daddy, it's a diamond.
-
No, it isn't.
-
-You don't like it?
-No, l do not.
-
Can l have it?
-
How dare you pawn her violin!
-
-She don't even like playing it no more.
-She will learn to like it later.
-
A young woman who can play a violin
is an accomplished young lady.
-
A girlie that can play the drums
can write her own ticket.
-
Will, l want the best for Ashley.
-
When l was a kid, l loved classical music,
but my parents couldn't afford lessons.
-
l used to stand out in the parking lot
of the Philharmonic...
-
hoping to catch a spare note
on the night air.
-
Philip, when l met you,
you were into James Brown.
-
-He liked James Brown?
-He even wore his hair like him.
-
He had hair?
-
You know, it is possible to like
both classical music and James Brown.
-
l could not agree more. So let's
let Ashley play whatever she wants.
-
She spent an entire year on the violin.
-
So if she wants to try something new,
let her.
-
You tell him, Aunt Viv.
-
-And as for you, young man--
-Love you.
-
The next time
you decide to visit a pawnshop, don't.
-
-Are we clear on that?
-Yes.
-
Master William,
there is a young gentleman downstairs...
-
with a rather large radio
who is here to see you.
-
-He claims his name is Jazz.
-Yo, word up. Send him up.
-
-Now, who is this Jazz fellow?
-l heard the boy at a club.
-
He was all of that.
He will be Ashley's new music teacher.
-
l mean, he's not as experienced
as Madame Chatchka, but then who is?
-
Mr. Jazz.
-
lt's nice to meet you, Jazz.
-
How do you do? l'm Mr. Banks.
-
You got that right.
-
Man, you're loaded!
-
Yo, what's up, J.?
-
Come on, let's just leave them alone.
-
-l asked him to take her to her lesson--
-l know, baby.
-
Tell Mama all about it.
-
Ash, how about let Jazz get busy
one time?
-
So, Carlton, how's the soccer scene?
-
Well, l may be moving up
from JV to Varsity, but--
-
Am l the only one who finds
this drumming inappropriate for high tea?
-
l can't take another week of this.
From morning until night...
-
all l hear is this relentless, pulsating,
thumping beat.
-
-l'm going to the Hard Rock Cafe.
-Hilary.
-
Stay.
-
We are having tea.
-
lt's a civilized way for me
to have a conversation with my family...
-
so someone talk.
-
l want her severely punished!
-
lt was the only time
that Jazz could give her a lesson today.
-
-l wish you would stop calling him that.
-But that's his name.
-
lt is not. lt can't be.
-
These kids like to make up
their own names. Let them.
-
Okay, fine.
-
From now on, l'm no longer Philip Banks.
-
Just call me King Edward lV.
-
As you wish, Your Majesty.
-
Humor, sir.
-
Dad, l'm as liberal as the next guy...
-
but it's time for someone to take the reins.
-
High tea has been a weekly tradition
in our family...
-
for as long as l can remember.
-
lf we let young Will ruin this for us,
what's next to go?
-
Christmas?
-
l can't answer that question for you, son.
Ask your mother.
-
Come on, you two.
-
High tea is not a sacred institution.
-
lt's not the tea. lt's not the drums.
-
lt's Ashley.
-
l've spent nine years
trying to raise a proper young lady...
-
and Will is undoing all of my work
in a week.
-
-Ashley, honey, come down here!
-What are you doing?
-
He's punishing her.
-
No, Hilary, l just want her
to spend some time with her family.
-
Same thing.
-
What is all this yelling about downstairs?
-
Look, we are trying to give
a music lesson upstairs.
-
Work with me, people, please?
-
You've been practicing all afternoon.
-
Look, that is the only way
she's gonna become a star.
-
This young lady has the drive,
the good look, and the intelligence...
-
to get to the top...
-
but she will not be on Yo! MTVRaps
if you all don't work with me.
-
Practice is over, Will.
Ashley, honey, it's teatime.
-
Tea.
-
Biscuits!
-
Geoffrey, put on
our teatime music, please.
-
You'll love this, honey.
lt's Brandenburg Concertos.
-
Jazz, hit me with some sugar, man.
-
-How about a little milk?
-No, l'll get it.
-
l thought this was sterling.
-
lt's got that certain weight to it.
-
Yes. This is my favorite part.
-
Ashley, honey, this is possibly
the most beautiful music ever written.
-
-Would someone turn it up for me, please?
-Jazz, crank it up for me.
-
Yes. Listen, darling.
-
Listen to the violins. Beautiful.
-
The oboes will be coming next.
-
Right away, sir.
-
Now, l know you're upset,
but l want you to stay calm.
-
l'm calm. l'm happy.
-
l'm in control.
-
You see, Vivian, l had lost control.
-
''Lost control''?
-
You drop-kicked a human being
across our front lawn.
-
lt felt good, damn it.
-
l'm back in the saddle again.
-
You know, l think living down the street
from the Reagans...
-
has had a very bad effect on you.
-
Will, your uncle
just wanted to speak with Ashley.
-
No, let him stay.
l want him to hear this, too.
-
l hope this isn't going to be
one of those Theo moments.
-
Ashley, honey, sit down.
-
Ashley, baby...
-
through no fault of your own...
-
things went down
a very wrong path this week.
-
But luckily,
your daddy has put it all back together.
-
You're going to return to the violin.
-
l've called Madame Chatchka.
She's agreed to give you a makeup lesson.
-
You must have caught her
on one of her rare free nights.
-
Will, please?
-
We've all lost sight
of the most important thing here...
-
and that is what is best for Ashley.
-
lt's not what's best for Ashley.
You're trying to control her.
-
She's 9 years old,
and she's got a calendar...
-
telling her where she's got to be,
what she's gotta do.
-
She doesn't have to worry
about that anymore...
-
because now you tell her
what to do, right?
-
There's only one thing wrong with that:
You're not her father.
-
How come you didn't know
she doesn't like the violin?
-
She liked it for a year before
you moved in. Can you explain that?
-
-l never liked it, Daddy.
-That explains it.
-
Look, if you ask her, she'll tell you
she wants to play the drums.
-
l don't like the drums, either.
-
See? Now you confused her.
-
l'm not confused.
l just didn't want to disappoint you, Will.
-
And l didn't want
to disappoint you, Daddy.
-
Now hold on. Let's get this straight.
-
Ashley, you don't have to please Will,
and you don't have to please your father.
-
You just continue with the lessons
that you like best.
-
-Do you mean it, Mommy?
-Absolutely, sweetheart.
-
-Then l want to quit ballet.
-Ballet? Honey, no.
-
But you look so cute in that little tutu.
-
-l really hate it, Mommy.
-But, honey, just until Christmas?
-
Do you believe that?
-
-She wants to quit everything.
-l know.
-
These kids today have no attention span.
-
l blame television.
