Videos de orientación para villanos: Los casos perdidos del futuro | Villanos | Cartoon Networks

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Narrator: Welcome, beings of the abyss
and admirable entities of the underworld

to the Black Hat Organization
Villain Orientation videos

where you'll learn to be big and
strong villains by eating fat and dog meat.

Now with you, the pi-pilgrim, tempuragalardopado(??)

and...animal mind of...the...corn cob...evil...of Doctor Flug!

Flug: What did you just say?

Narrator: That's what it says here.

Flug: It says: The genius prodigy,
award-winning technopath and elite criminal mind.

Where did you get that from?!

Narrator: This is written in... doctor handwriting.

Flug: I understand it perfectly well!

You not understanding it doesn't mean that
my handwriting is horrible! That means you're a

Welcome, hungry fellows for evil knowledge.

We have a particularly exciting episode today.

Today we will analyze a supreme,
powerful and dark being with flaming eyebrows.

Literally!

Demencia: Go back to inventing!

Flug: Oi, Hatbots! Get her out of here quickly!

Demencia: Let go of me can-opener!
I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!

Demencia in the background: I WANT A LAWYER!
Flug: That'll keep her busy for a while...

Today we'll analyze...

Aku!

An ancestral evil being so old that he
could be as amazing as Lord Black Hat.

Black Hat: Aku? Ahh yes, that's the inept who kept
annoying me to help him become a being of darkness.

He had great power but a roach-sized brain.

I couldn't agree more!

Flug: Ehm, if my memory doesn't fail me,

Aku and you didn't get along, right Jefecito?

I remember seeing him in your big parties, and
he's also an honorary member of the organization.

I met Aku when he was just a
mass of darkness floating in space.

Ever since then, he began to respect me.

Aku: The shogun of pain!

Black Hat: And when he got a
physical form, he began to acquire my products.

Flug: According to my graph of inconveniences for villains,
(Heroes • Trash plans • Varicose veins
• Nose loss • Destroyed bases)

Aku has one of the most common problems that they usually face.
(Heroes • Trash plans • Varicose veins
• Nose loss • Destroyed bases)

He couldn't beat a small, tiny and insignificant HERO!

(♫ Samurai Jack theme ♫)

This samurai has knowledge of most old
martial arts, and also he's a talented swordsman.

We can see that since his childhood
he was trained to eliminate Aku.

Demencia: What a childhood...

Flug: Technically... Hey! What are you doing here?!

If you don't behave I'll send you to the future!

Aku is a dark and endlessly powerful
being that possesses superior abilities,

such as shape-shifting, eye lasers...

Bah! My Jefecito is much better!

He also makes copies of himself.
Let's see the file of his first confrontation.

I'm sure that the dumb samurai wasn't
much of a challenge to a supreme being like Aku.

Aku: Before the final strike,

I opened a portal in
time and sent the samurai to the future.

Very good, he's just playing with the samurai.

Now, the idiot tries to return to the past.

His plan has always been sending him to the future
to torture him in a world where his evilness is law.

Black Hat: Don't be naive. That coward sent the
samurai to the future as a last resort to save his life.

A ridiculous idea that only he can come up with.

Flug: Oh yes, true.

Black Hat: He should've sent him to
the dimension of eternal suffering.

Flug: I can confirm that it isn't pretty...

The files say that Aku spent his whole life
coming up with plans to destroy the samurai Jack.

(HWACHA!)

It's unbelievable that a
being of such evilness fails constantly!

Especially with how much time he has on his side

Black Hat: I told you he was a fool! That's
why I never went to his stupid reunions...

Flug: Yeah now I remember!

He couldn't stop calling to order more
inventions to help him destroy that samurai.

I remember it like it was yesterday...

Aku: Yes, I can wait.

Flug: Black Hat Organization's
bounty hunter hotline?

Aku: Yes!

Flug: Do you want to pick up your
order at your branch office or at home?

Aku: I'd like it to be sent here.

Flug: Of course sir, just give me your name please.

Aku.

Acólito, Acolman, Aquimichu... I can't find your name.
Are you registered in the system?

I think I'm in the computer...

Oh I found you, they wrote your name with a double C.

Honorary member Accu!

Yes that's me! I'd like a big one!

What?

The big ones ran out.
We have thin and thick left.

EXTRA THICC!

Perfect, it'll be there in less than 30 minutes or it's free.

30 minutes or it's free?! EXCELLENT!

We'll charge it to your personal account and--

Sir?

Black Hat: He has never been very clever.

I always told him: Aku, it doesn't matter how much
help you get! If you're an idiot you'll never be successful!

NOOOO!

You're right, Jefecito. He acquired a lot
of our products but he never succeeded.

Nevertheless I told him many times: If you
want something done right, DO IT YOURSELF!

Do it yourself?

Yes...

Flug: And he succeeded on his own after that, Jefecito.

Black Hat: I don't know what's more pathetic.
Aku being defeated, or you believing that he can succeed!

Flug: Je-Jefecito where are you-

going...

Well, as I was saying-

Demencia: Have you finished
talking about samurai Jack?

(HWACHA!)

AAH!

Flug: You deserved that! Now shoo!

Dem: Don't you see, Flug?! You're missing something!

Flug: Don't you dare-

Dem: You're missing one of my...

Flug: Nonono, STOP HER!

DEMENCIA TIPS!!

Hello! Did you miss me?
I come with a very special Demencia tip.

Perhaps the best one! If you're an
evil entity made of darkness,

tall, thin, frightening, with a
murderous stare and sharp teeth like daggers...

...This is what you have to do!

First, out of your entourage of fans, look for the most beautiful,
crazy, evil girl with long hair that knows EVERYTHING about you,

even your smell.

Then, give that special girl a bit of yourself,
to serve in a cup, although it's best in person.

Then take her to dinner,
-

Then take her to dinner,
to rob a bank, -

Then take her to dinner,
to rob a bank, to destroy things together,

and afterward look her in the eyes,

lean closer, -

lean closer, even closer...

AND LIVE A CRAZY AND
EVIL LOVE TOGETHER!

Tut tut, Demencia, you're going to the future.

I'd go after your descendants if you had any! AHAHA!

Well now that-

LOSEERRRR!

Now that we've gotten rid of that problem, let's
continue seeing the combat techniques of Aku and his rival.

The samurai uses physical attributes and his
enchanted sword, while Aku uses his evil and dark powers

to escape?!

Black Hat: That was Aku's main problem.
Always running away like a sewer rat!

He was a disgrace to the evil entities...

Flug: What's he scared of, Jefecito?

The samurai's sword!
Don't be an idiot, doctor!

It was forged with divine
energy and human virtues,

attributes so simple and insignificant that
could only harm a coward like Aku.

Are you tired of gods giving enchanted
weapons to your hero and not being able to fight back?

Would you like to have a possessed object for yourself,
or leave the hero locked with a malignant spirit?

With Black Hat Organization's
enchantment service, now you can!

The one and only Lord Black Hat will take care of it!

You only have to bring an object that you want to enchant, and
Sir Black Hat will bring the most despicable available demon

and will put it in the object! And then BAM, it's possessed!

It's a unique opportunity! So stop losing time and
come get your objects possessed.

Use them as gifts, revenge,
decoration, weapons, or simply company!

Don't get left out and bring your possessions now!

We enchant from dolls to houses!

What's more, this video you're watching right now
-

What's more, this video you're watching right now
is possessed! Hahahaha!

So if you want to get rid of the curse, we won't call you!
YOU have to call us in the next 7 days!

But be careful, because the phone might
be disconnected, hahahahaha!

Flug: That's enough. Aku's problems are obvious.

Number 1: He wastes his dark powers completely.

Number 2: He avoids his problems by
sending them to a different time period.

That only works with Demencia.

Number 3: He runs away from combat like a
coward against a barbaric swordsman!

That's ridiculous considering the type of creature
he is! And we can only do one thing to a villain like him.

Indeed. Aku deserves a punishment.

Posthumously.

Jefecito?

That idiot sealed his destiny when
he sent the samurai to the future.

Soon, doctor, he'll realize that
everything he has fought for will disappear,

as if it had never happened...

Buck: Looks like this girl is causing havoc in time.

You're right kid, she doesn't look very
dangerous. How much damage can a punk girl do?

Flug: Get out of the way I'm working.

Buck: And who's that four eyes??

Flug: Demencia, get down from there NOW!

Demencia: Make me, moron!

Flug: Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Don't make me come get you!

Demencia: Try it, NERD.

Flug: Daughter of evil*, you'll see when we get back home-

OUCH, don't do that! Not in the face! I'm an actor!

NOT IN THE FACE!

more pained noises
Buck: Ahh let's go, I think everything is under control here.

Flug: Don't bite me, cannibal girl!

Translation by Nightfurmoon

• Jefecito: Boss + diminutive suffix.
• *Daughter of evil (10:41): He doesn't mean it literally, it's a parody of 'son of a b----'