-
TRANSLATION BY NIGHTFURMOON (nightfurmoon.tumblr.com)
-
Narrator: Congratulations!
-
If you’re watching this, it’s because you
want to go from being a mediocre villain...
-
...to being a mediocre villain with an evil corporation!
-
Get ready to see what you must not do with…
-
[Deep breath]
-
The orientation video for possible future subsidiaries, and those
who will probably be rejected and annihilated, seeking to
turn their small evil business into a daibolical corporation—
-
Sorry, diabolical and subsidiary corporation of Black Hat Organization.
For those unaware of the term subsidiary, it means that their
souls and existences will be owned by Black Hat Organization,
but this time you have donated them voluntarily.
-
[Deep Breath]
-
With unlimited resources, your diabolical purposes and disturbing
ideas will be mass-produced. Horrifying corporations of the
existence, which are also owned by the company behind these videos
and your future lord, Black Hat Organization. Long story short,
-
"VOPSFPRABCPMMCDPDSBHOADTSQDAESPBHOEVODVRLDFPI
SPMACNECIMRPMACETPEDEVFABHO of Black Hat Organization."
-
Black Hat: Welcome, future slaves...
-
Welcome, insolent leeches—
-
Flug: Er, sir (jefecito)?
BH: WHAT—
-
Welcome, future subsidiaries—
-
Flug: Achoo!
-
Flug: SORRY! DON’T HIT ME, DON’T HIT ME!
BH: I HAD JUST GOTTEN IT, YOU HUGE—
-
Welcome to the orientation video for companies aspiring
to become subsidiaries of Black Hat Organization.
-
Throughout the years I have absorbed millions of evil companies
that thanks to me are now leaders in the diabolical industry.
-
Narrator: If you want to be part of the most powerful
corporate villainy network that ever existed,
-
then take notes because we will tell you the
requirements that you and your company have to meet
-
through analyzing one of the already subsidiary
companies of Black Hat Organization,
-
chosen carefully by our leader, Lord Black Hat.
-
BH: Actually, I’ll choose one randomly like I always do.
-
Ha ha ha!
-
Wrong button…
-
Narrator: And the chosen company to be
cruelly destroyed is... Boxmore!
-
BH: I don’t remember that garbage dump being my subsidiary…
-
Flug: It’s one of the most recent ones, sir (jefecito).
It was acquired through Cosma.
-
BH: And what are they supposed to create, boxes?!
-
Flug: Erm… Nowadays it’s the main mechanical A.I. producer.
-
BH: Ah, machiavellian machines! You should’ve told
me earlier, it must be a profitable subsidiary.
-
Who’s in charge of this evil company?
-
Boxman: Is it not obvious?
-
K.O.: Um, what was his name? Tontoman?
-
Rad: Lord... Tontoman.
-
BH: I see… Lord Tontoman.
-
This thing chose such a stupid name!
-
Here it says that he’s tried to destroy
"Lakewood Plaza Turbo", which is ruled by Mr.—
-
[Horrific demonic noises]
-
[Coughing] This cough…
-
Mr. Gar... What kind of name is that?!
-
And his assistants. They’re completely irrelevant.
-
Flug: Um, their names are Enid, Rad, and I think the kid is Kaio—
-
BH: SHUT UP! I said they are irrelevant.
-
BH: SHUT UP! I said they are irrelevant.
Enid: We're training under Gar to be great heroes.
-
Enid: We're training under Gar to be great heroes.
-
Rad: We don't just clean up garbage, kid.
-
We also fight evil robots! Sometimes.
-
BH: That guy’s voice is annoyingly familiar…
(T/N: Radicles has the same VA as Flug.)
-
Flug: That’s weird, sir (jefecito)—
-
BH: SHUT UP, your voice irritates me!
-
Narrator: What makes Boxmore a decent subsidiary?
-
Could it be their evil installations?
-
With malefic gadgets to create and destroy subordinates!
-
Darrell: I deserve this...
-
BH: BAH! If he was really suffering
it would sound like this.
-
[Agonized screams]
-
Aahh… Such a pleasant melody.
-
Let’s have fun watching how this poor excuse of
a hero succumbs to Tontoman’s evil installations!
-
Why does NOBODY understand the importance of security?!
-
Laser beams over here, mechanical
saws there, hydraulic press right here,
-
fire trap, poison darts, bottomless pit
and a giant boulder as a final touch…
-
How do they let him happily pass by!?
Clearly their installations are trash!
-
Narrator: Could it be...
their evil subordinates?
-
Darrell: I'm Darrell, and I've come...
-
...to destroy!
-
I am… Jethro!
-
BH: Those mechanical minions are useless!
My robotic infiltrates are much more ruthless…
-
Hail Black Hat…
-
Hail Black Hat…
-
Hail Black Hat…
-
BH: Now let’s go back. Where’s the red robot?
-
Darrell: Now what—?
-
BH: How disappointing…
Where’s the mechanical orange?!
-
Shannon: If you want to work at a place like Gar's,
you gotta do something really special.
-
—like infiltrating Lord Boxman's lair...
-
...and maybe defeating
him all by yourself.
-
Rule 302: Manipulate the hero into
doing whatever you want.
-
K.O.: Thanks for the help, ominous stranger!
-
Enid: K.O.!
Rad: Hey, K.O., where'd you go—
-
Enid, what's that Shannon doing here?
-
BH: How did you expect them not to
recognize you with such a mediocre outfit?!
-
Such a horrible Skin-walker…
-
Nohyas: NO-YEAH!
-
BH: Clearly those henchmen don’t make the company worth it!
-
Their leader better not be an embarrassment!
-
Narrator: Could it be…
their evil boss?
-
BH: Let’s see what his enemies have to say about him.
-
Your rival’s opinion must show how scared they are of you...
-
Enid: When a dumb nerd and a dumb factory
love each other very much,
-
they waste a lot of time and money making
robots to attack the plaza.
-
BH: It’s true, he has always been a nerd!
-
Even in Bachillerato!
(T/N: Bachillerato is the last 2 years of High School)
-
How is a hero going to fear that greaseball?!
-
At least his robotic henchmen should
treat him with respect and supremacy!
-
Shannon: Dad.
-
Darrell: Daddy!
-
Jethro.
-
BH: How does he allow his servants to call him like that?!
-
The FIRST and LAST word that came of out 5.0.5.’s mouth was ‘Dad’,
-
and since then he hasn’t used any more words…
-
5.0.5.: BAOW!
-
BH: A tantrum?! What a disappointment…
-
His fury is just like a child’s!
-
I still remember my most recent wrath…
-
Narrator: Could it be...
their evil plans?
-
Boxman: Ah, Shannon,
my spoiled teenage daughter.
-
Do you have a plan?
-
Shannon: Of course. [Chuckles]
-
BH: What?! This incompetent donkey lets his
minions come up with plans for him?!
-
USELESS! If he can’t make his own evil plans,
then how is he going to lead an evil company?
-
Let’s see how his dirty plan goes…
-
K.O.: A piece of cake!
-
BH: Now that you have the hero in your cla—
-
…Chicken claws, show me how you’re
going to use him for your fatal plans!
-
Boxman: I see you've got yourself a little friendship
going with those two minions from Gar's.
-
K.O.: Friendship?
Boxman: Yes, it's very disgusting—
-
BH: So this pig wants to destroy their friendship.
-
And let me guess… He wants these three
inept heroes to fight against each other?
-
That’s why a subordinate doesn’t come up
with an evil plan, they don’t know anything!
-
To destroy their friendship, you must eliminate at least
ONE of them, that way you’ll destroy their affection chain.
-
Otherwise you’ll just strengthen their bond.
-
It’s OBVIOUS.
-
K.O.: You're not mad at me?
-
Enid: Mad? We came here to save you!
-
BH: I told you, fat pig.
-
Enid: And it was super-brave!
-
Boxman: Ooh!
-
BH: Ooh...
-
Rad: You got our respect!
-
Boxman: Ugh!
-
BH: Eugh!
-
What’s happening to you, bloody idiot?!
-
Are they hitting you with "friendship"?
-
That’s intangible! Like a demon.
-
Boxman: That only strengthened their bond!
-
BH: But of course, you huge imbecile!
-
At least tell me now that you have them in
your lair, you’ll eradicate them personally...
-
YOU HELPED THEM TO ESCAPE?!?!?!
-
ENOUGH, I DON’T WANT TO KEEP ANALYZING THIS
PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A VILLAIN AND SUBSIDIARY!
-
Don’t get mad, sir (jefecito),
we didn't reach 10 minutes yet—
-
BH: PUT WHATEVER!
I DON’T CARE, I DON'T CARE!
-
Narrator: This is a commercial sponsored by Black
Hat Organization: "Evilness at your door!"
-
If you’re as naïve as Boxman and you
can’t come up with your own evil plans,
-
or you leave your plans in the hands of
your subordinates like these,
-
Suffer no longer!
-
Black Hat Organization has the solution.
-
We present you Black Hat’s Evil Plans service,
-
where we turn your most mediocre
ideas into diabolical wonders!
-
Millions and millions of villains all around the world
have discovered the benefits of a perfect plan
-
thanks to Black Hat’s Evil Plans service.
-
(KIDNAPPINGS) (Newspaper Articles: ‘Robbed Banks’, ‘No More
Heroes in the Area’, ‘Who Coordinates Evil?’)
thanks to Black Hat’s Evil Plans service.
-
(DESTROYED BASES)
More and more plans by miscreants are
solved thanks to his perverse service.
-
(FOILED PLANS)
More and more plans by miscreants are
solved thanks to his perverse service.
-
(DIABETES)
More and more plans by miscreants are
solved thanks to his perverse service.
-
(HEADACHES)
More and more plans by miscreants are
solved thanks to his perverse service.
-
(TAXES)
More and more plans by miscreants are
solved thanks to his perverse service.
-
My name is Metauro and thanks to Black Hat’s Evil
Plans service, my horrible goals have been fulfilled.
-
Can I see my family now?
-
Narrator: With Black Hat’s Evil Plans service,
you could go play Bingo, go fishing,
-
or spend time with your grandmother while
Black Hat Organization designs your plan.
-
Call now and acquire Black Hat’s Evil Plans service, only for
the price of your poor, pathetic, and deplorable existence!
-
If this doesn’t convince you, listen to the
words of our evil founder, Lord Black Hat.
-
Our operators are waiting for you!
-
So grab that damned telephone
and order not one, TWO—
-
Wait, THREE of Black Hat’s Evil Plans services!
-
Call now!
-
Flug: But sir (jefecito chulo),
what are we going to do with Boxman?
-
Akunin yo
Villain,
-
omae wa moumokuteki ni aku ni shitagai
you who blindly follows Evil,
-
itamashi zen to tatakau
fighting against the pitiful Good,
-
shikashi itsumo makete shimaunoda
but you are always defeated.
-
Akunin yo
Villain,
-
moshi Black Hat-sama eno tamashi wo motteitara...
if only Lord Black Hat had your soul...
-
Ore wa... Jethro.
I am... Jethro.
moshi Black Hat-sama eno tamashi wo motteitara...
if only Lord Black Hat had your soul...
-
moshi Black Hat-sama eno tamashi wo motteitara...
if only Lord Black Hat had your soul...
-
This program is brought to you by
our sponsor, Black Hat Organization.
-
...See you next episode!
-
...See you next episode!
-
...See you next episode!
-
THAT’S ALL FOLKS. BE SURE TO WATCH
THE ORIGINAL VIDEO AND SUPPORT IT!
