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TRANSLATION BY NIGHTFURMOON (nightfurmoon.tumblr.com)
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And a huge thanks to Chi for providing the English script for the Adventure Time clips! (chimarkie.tumblr.com)
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Narrator: Congratulations!
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You have decided to stop being a pathetic
nuisance to become a worthy adversary,
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acquiring Black Hat’s Organization villain training.
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Be prepared to learn what you must not do with…
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The Lost Cases of OOO
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Black Hat: Welcome, filthy vermin of the abyss,
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Welcome, filthy vermin of the abyss, dark creatures,
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Welcome, filthy vermin of the abyss, dark creatures, despicable beings,
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INSIGNIFICANT WRETCHED—
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I am Black Hat.
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But you already know that because you all bought
Black Hat Organization’s Orientation Video for Villains,
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Where I make fun of the Forces of Evil’s pathetic
embarrassments and you give me your money!
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Today we will analyze one of the most chaotic and
infamous villains from the World of OOO.
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A soulless and rotten
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fruit?!
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What's this, a lemon?!
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What kind of villain is this?!
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Is this a joke?!
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I at least expected a pineapple, those are evil.
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BREAK THAT PIÑATA!
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I want to see its sweet organs…
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Euugh, how unpleasant.
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Lemongrab: This castle is in unacceptable condition!
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UNACCEPTABLE CONDITION!!!
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BH: The unacceptable thing here is your high-pitched voice.
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Finn: Yeah, like pranking him up his face!
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Bubblegum: Yeah, and I have the perfect prank! Come on, Finn!
BH: Flug! Get that out of my sight!
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Why am I seeing signs of affection?!
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This guy is more stupid than I thought.
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Leaving himself totally exposed, without security?!
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This wouldn’t have happened if he had bought
Black Hat Organization’s security system.
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Narrator: Which is on sale! Acquire it and nobody
will be able to enter your lair! Not even you!
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BH: That thing has ears?
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Yes, yes, okay! Move on!
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Lemongrab: "You… really…
smell... like... dog buns…"
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BH: A paper?!
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They should’ve squeezed him or something!
I’ll give an example.
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5.0.5.!
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Lemongrab: This is everyone then?
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Peppermint Butler: Yes, all the castle staff.
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Lemongrab: So, which one of you was it?
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Who did the thing?
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— The Thing...?
BH: What kind of servants are those?!
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They’re almost as sweet as 5.0.5.!
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Lemongrab: The thing, the thing!
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PB: Hey man, calm down! It’s just a prank man, for laughs!
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Lemongrab: Prank? For laughs?
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12 years dungeon. All of you, dungeon,
7 years no trials, come on, let’s move it!
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BH: This is ridiculous!
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What kind of evil monologue is that?!
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There must be a mistake.
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There has to be a real villain somewhere!
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And now, let’s see how the screaming lemon villain
faces two pieces of garbage wearing blankets.
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Watch him cry!
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This moment is worth all my time wasted!
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It’s the best thing I have seen so far!
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Again!
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Again!
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Again!
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Again, Again, AGAIN, AGAIN—!
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Technical Difficulties:
Don’t go!
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PB: My lord, food comes from—
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Lemongrab: AH TA TA TA, NO!
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That is why I’m royal and you... are servile!
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Finn: You ready to pour the stuff?
Bubblegum: Yeah, I made it super-hot this time!
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Finn: Wait ‘til he opens the lid.
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PB: Behold, a plate of
mashed carrots, flavored with
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BH: MWA HA HA HA!
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Poor idiot! [Laughter]
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Lemongrab: Stop screaming! Why are you screaming?!
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PB: Because I’m excited by this meal I made!
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Lemongrab: Me too, I’m excited too.
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BH: I once puked on my subordinate's face.
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Now I have Flug.
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Beginner's mistake.
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Your servants should always have the first bite.
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BH: How humiliating…
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PB: He’s eating the dirt! SPICE IT NOW!
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The Bubble Gum girl is the person
with the most brains here.
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Flug! Are you sure that the villain is the lemon
and not the Bubble Gum girl?!
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Lemongrab: A-apple!
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BH: Ahh, fruit cannibalism.
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Finally, the lemon does something depraved.
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Ah! Even better, eating his subordinates…
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Lemongrab: ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!
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BH: That’s your verdict?!
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They only learn their lesson when they see
the light at the end of the tunnel!
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That’s right! Back in my day, we put the
goody-two-shoes in front of a moving train!
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Bubblegum: If I turn myself back to my real age,
I can reclaim the throne.
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Finn: What?! No! I mean, uh...
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You can do that?
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Then... Why did you wait so long?
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Bubblegum: Because... Being 13 again is...
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BH: Clearly this girl has a perturbed mind.
Bubblegum: Blue baloobie!
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I would like to tear it out…
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Finn: Princess, I think I can help.
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BH: Out of all the rituals I know,
this is one of the most wicked.
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Using pieces of your acolytes to increase your power is effective.
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Now, I’ll take off one of Flug’s arms—
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UGH, they had to ruin it!
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Haha! I heard his heart breaking.
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Bubblegum: YO EARL!
Haha! I heard his heart breaking.
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Lemongrab: WHAT?
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Bubblegum: HEY, YOU’RE FIRED, YOU BUTT!
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He was the first one of my experiments gone wrong.
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BH: THAT IS NOT A FAILED EXPERIMENT!
He was the first one of my experiments gone wrong.
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I’ll show you what a failed experiment is!
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You know NOTHING about failures and mistakes!
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This is truly a disgrace for the Forces of—
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Bubblegum: Lemongrab!
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BH: I can’t be the only one that thinks that
this girl is more diabolic than the lemon.
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She condemns him to an existence of suffering,
giving life to a useless lemon.
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Lemongrab: I am the Earl!
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Bubblegum: Yeah?
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Lemongrab: The Earl... of NOTHING!
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Bubblegum: WAIT!
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BH: Come on, Bubble Gum girl!
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Close the window and crush that ugly lemon!
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Show your wicked thoughts!
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Lemongrab: I am alone.
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BH: If he hadn’t thrown himself out the window,
I’d have personally done it!
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What kind of diabolical exhibitionism is this?!
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How vulgar…
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Crowd: No, no, we won’t go!
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Bubblegum: Calm down!
Crowd: No, no, we won’t go!
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All I need is 3 healthy volunteers to move
in with Lemongrab. He’s all by himself.
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BH: The Bubble Gum girl is giving us a great evil lesson.
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Jamaica: Two things, Princess.
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BH: She pretends to agree with her rival’s terms, but in
reality she’s sending him the trash of their society. Excellent.
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Jamaica: Yo Lemongrease,
we’re gonna live here at Lemongrab’s now.
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I’m Jamaica, and this is Tuffy, and Blumbooooo!
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Lemongrab: Blumbo? What is that?
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Jamaica: What?
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Lemongrab: On Blumbo’s ears?
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Jamaica: That’s his headphones!
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BH: A true villain would never denigrate themselves,
letting some insolent preteens disrespect them like that!
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Tuffy: Settle down, Lemongrease!
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Lemongrab: I am not grease! This is UNACCEPTABLE—!
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BH: Ugh, that scream again.
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That’s it, fight for your dignity!
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Or what’s left of it, you imbecilic lemon.
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Such a plain torture chamber.
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There are no chains, spikes, nooses, axes—
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They could escape at any moment!
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Where’s the fun in that?! And the suffering…
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Lemongrab: Maybe 10 units for trespassers.
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BH: Ahh, music to my ears… The screams of a
hero suffering always puts a smile on my face.
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Bubblegum: Lemongrab, stop!
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Please, Earl, I can help you.
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BH: Bratty lemon!
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It’s not your creator’s fault that you’re an incompetent,
badly dressed crybaby that only yells intolerable shrieks!
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Lemongrab: You’re poison, poison!
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BH: The final confrontation.
Here is where a villain can retrieve their dignity.
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And of course, the lemon fails.
I told you, they escaped.
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Rule 42 of the manual: "Do not stop attacking
until your enemy’s heart stops beating."
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This girl doesn’t learn from her mistakes!
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Creating the same hideous lemon twice?!
This will probably end badly.
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BH: It’s obvious that they’ll end up eating
each other. [Evil Laughter]
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Lemongrab: Two Lemongrabs?
BH: It’s obvious that they’ll end up eating
each other. [Evil Laughter]
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This irritates my sight! Where is that Bubble
Gum girl? Surely she’s doing something evil!
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GOOD! Good, cut their legs!
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Enough! I can’t watch any more of this.
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Now, I’ll tell you Lemongrab’s mistakes in three points.
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Number 1:
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Number 1:
He’s a huge piece of -
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Number 1:
He’s a huge piece of... lemon.
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Number 2:
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Number 2: He’s a bratty crybaby.
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Number 3:
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Number 3: He didn’t hire Black Hat Organization’s service.
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Clearly there was a mistake here. His creator is the
one with the malicious wit, not that silly lemon!
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What kind of a classless villain have I just witnessed?!
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There is only one thing you can do with a villain like this!
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Special Thanks
(or Black Hat's Blacklist)
