How to Deal with Change | Kati Morton

- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.

Now today's question is
all about managing change.

But before I jump into that,

are you new to my channel?

Welcome, I'm a licensed therapist

creating educational mental health videos.

And I release those videos on Mondays

and on Thursdays,

so make sure you're subscribed

and have your notifications turned on

so that you don't miss out.

Now let's jump into today's topic.

If you follow me on Instagram,

you know that I recently found out

the yoga studio that I've been going to

for over 12 years is closing.

I asked around and found that it's because

the attendance is low,

teachers aren't signing
up to teach more classes,

and so the studio has
kind of slowly been dying

over the last year or so.

This news was so devastating to me

and there's nothing I can do
to stop it from happening.

And that's really what prompted me

to ask all of you on Instagram

if you wanted me to make a video

about navigating difficult change.

And an overwhelming
number of you said yes.

So here are my five tips for
managing change healthfully.

And the first tip is kind of obvious,

but I feel like it just
really needs to be said.

And that is that we need to acknowledge

that change is part of life.

And I know this isn't
necessarily that helpful.

But I think it's important
that we try to recognize

and accept that change
is always happening.

Some of it we have control
over, but most of it we don't.

And if we give ourselves a chance

to really come to terms with the fact

that life will keep
moving, people will change

and you'll be asked to change to.

So if we do that, it can
sometimes help us get unstuck

or see things differently
than we were before.

And I personally love to
remind myself of this fact

because it means that nothing
will stay like this forever.

It has to change and
that thought can honestly

be a little freeing, too.

Next up my second tip is
that we have to let ourselves

feel the loss, upset,

anger, sadness

or whatever it is that you may be feeling.

Give yourself time to feel it.

Talk about it, journal about
it, complain to a friend,

therapist or family member about it.

It's okay, and just so we make sure

this time is beneficial,
try and keep this venting,

feeling time focused on how you feel now.

Why this person or place or thing

was important to you and what
you'll miss in the future.

Try to stay out of lamenting about things

that we should have
done or should have said

or living in the past experience
that we can't change now.

Or pretty much, you know,

anything that could pull
us back into that dark pit

of hopelessness or helplessness.

Let's try to stay focused on the present

and what's happening now.

How we feel now, what we
liked about that thing,

what we're gonna miss about that person

and all of that.

Stay in the present as much as you can.

And my third tip, let's
write out the story

we're gonna tell ourselves
about this loss or change.

Are we writing a sad story?

Maybe it's hopeful, possibly
pain-filled or grief-filled.

Or are we trying to
predict the future already?

I do that.

Or are we feeling hopeless
about what's coming next?

Maybe we're excited about the change

and what it's gonna bring for us.

But take some time to write it all out.

No judgment, just be honest with yourself

and your process.

This can really help us kind of see

what we may be already assuming,

or how we're truly
feeling about something.

This can be like another
way to get into our grief,

or upset or sadness or even excitement

and figure out where it's coming from

and what we're really
telling ourselves about it.

Now my fourth tip is that I
want you to write out the story

you want to have about
this loss or change.

Sure these two stories can be the same

if you're feeling okay and

you know that it's going to be okay.

But these two stories can
also be very different.

It's very common for us to get stuck

in a certain type of story
and we can be so stuck

that all the stories in our
life have the same style

and feeling to them.

For example, we may only know how to tell

sad, hopeless stories or to
always be the victim in a story.

Or we only know, maybe, how to tell

happy, excited stories.

It's really hard for us to tap in

to sadness or anger.

But either way, we're
filtering our experience

and only letting ourself
see our life in that way.

Does that make sense?

We're only able to tell
certain types of stories

and that can limit our
ability to overcome any change

upset or even stop us from
seeing our life clearly.

So spend some time on this tip.

Consider how you would
like to view this change.

And know that just by practicing this,

you can actually alter the
way that you think about it.

It's like therapy magic, I promise.

Now my fifth and final tip,
is to increase your self-care.

Now I know it seems like everyone

is talking about self-care lately.

But no one really tells us
what it is, or defines it.

And no, self-care is not
just getting a massage

or taking a vacation.

Self-care can simply be
texting a helpful friend

when we need some advice
or a new perspective,

or walking around the block.

Think of anything in
your life that brings you

the slightest bit of
joy, or gets you excited

or helps you feel better.

Then just do your best to work in

at least one of these
into your daily routine.

Maybe you could get up
five minutes earlier

so you have time to sip
coffee, watch the news

and do some of your breathing.

Or maybe you wanna take a bath once a week

and take some time to relax.

Or plant some new flowers in your garden,

or just take a minute
to breathe and stretch.

Whatever you can make time for and afford,

let's try to do that more.

Remember, that it's actually less

about the change that's happening

and more with how we think about it.

So, notice if your thoughts
are pulling you in a direction

that you don't wanna go,

or telling you a very
filtered version of the story.

Then you can go back to
the story that you wrote.

You know, the one that you
want to have about this change?

And reread that one.

You can even take it as far as to consider

what you could do today to
work towards that story.

One thought and one step at a time,

we can move closer and closer to it,

until the story we want to have,

is the one that we are currently living.

Now my favorite yoga teacher
is always reminding us

that it's the brittle trees
that break in the wind storm,

while the flexible bamboo can ride it out

and bend when it needs to.

And I hope that all of
these tips and tricks

just kind of help you
feel a bit more flexible,

so that you can bend like the bamboo

and are able to ride out any storms

that come your way because
life is constantly changing

in big and small ways.

And I just hope that some of these tips

are helpful to you in your own life.

And as always, please leave
any tips that you have

for managing change in your life

in those comments down below.

And I will see you next time, bye.