How to sell without selling your soul | Steve Harrison | TEDxWilmingtonSalon
-
0:09 - 0:12When I was a college student
many moons ago, -
0:12 - 0:14in Davidson, North Carolina,
-
0:15 - 0:17my resident adviser, Rob,
came to me, and he said, -
0:17 - 0:21"Steve, did I ever tell you
about the great summer job that I had?" -
0:21 - 0:22I said, "No."
-
0:22 - 0:24He said, "It was really wonderful.
-
0:24 - 0:28I got to work in marketing
for this great publishing company; -
0:28 - 0:30in fact, it paid really well,
-
0:30 - 0:32and the guy who hired me
is coming to campus, -
0:32 - 0:34and he's going to be
interviewing students. -
0:34 - 0:36I want to invite you to hear about this.
-
0:36 - 0:38Maybe you can get a job."
-
0:38 - 0:40I was really flattered,
-
0:40 - 0:43and because of my respect for Rob,
I went to the interview. -
0:44 - 0:48It was marketing;
it was publishing, all right: -
0:48 - 0:53it was selling books door-to-door.
-
0:53 - 0:55(Laughing)
-
0:55 - 0:56Now, I took a look at that,
-
0:56 - 0:59and I did what any reasonable
college student would do. -
0:59 - 1:02I signed up. Yeah, I signed up.
-
1:02 - 1:05I signed up to sell children's books,
-
1:05 - 1:0680 hours a week,
-
1:06 - 1:08straight commission.
-
1:08 - 1:11My dad and my mom, they freaked out.
-
1:11 - 1:15You know, my dad's a corporate attorney,
and he just knew that - -
1:15 - 1:18look, I had never sold anything.
-
1:18 - 1:21I didn't have a charismatic
bone in my body. -
1:21 - 1:24I was just a nice kid
who liked to eat Pop-Tarts. -
1:26 - 1:32But flash forward -
the big day arrives, 7:42 a.m. -
1:32 - 1:34I'm in Rob's car;
-
1:34 - 1:39we're driving out to the neighborhood
to begin knocking on doors. -
1:40 - 1:44My heart is racing;
I've got a gigantic lump in my throat. -
1:44 - 1:47I remember looking down
at my khaki shorts, -
1:47 - 1:49and my knees are literally shaking.
-
1:49 - 1:52And he's like, "Steve,
any last minute stuff I can do for you?" -
1:52 - 1:55I'm like, "Yeah,
don't let me out of this car." -
1:55 - 1:57(Laughing)
-
1:57 - 1:58Next thing I know,
-
1:58 - 2:02I'm standing on a sidewalk
in a suburb of Lincoln, Nebraska. -
2:04 - 2:07I just see house after house,
door after door. -
2:08 - 2:12I remember staring at the first door,
-
2:12 - 2:17waiting for the right
psychological moment to knock. -
2:19 - 2:22Now, before I tell you what happened,
-
2:23 - 2:24I have a question for you:
-
2:25 - 2:28Whose door should you be knocking on?
-
2:29 - 2:32Who do you want to say yes to you?
-
2:34 - 2:35Because, I tell you,
-
2:35 - 2:39you know, one thing I've seen
is that we're all in sales, so to speak. -
2:39 - 2:41We all have something to sell.
-
2:41 - 2:43It may be that you have a business
-
2:43 - 2:46where you want to convince people
to buy your product or service. -
2:46 - 2:49Maybe you work
with a nonprofit organization -
2:49 - 2:52and you need to convince people
to donate their time and money. -
2:52 - 2:54Or maybe you're a parent
-
2:54 - 2:56trying to convince your kids
to do their homework - -
2:56 - 2:57good luck with that.
-
2:57 - 2:58(Laughing)
-
2:58 - 3:02But who is it? Whose door
should you be knocking on? -
3:02 - 3:05Who is it that you want to say yes to you?
-
3:05 - 3:07Is it a friend?
Is it a business associate? -
3:07 - 3:08Is it your boss?
-
3:09 - 3:11is it a possible date for Friday night?
-
3:11 - 3:12Who is it?
-
3:13 - 3:14Now, when I –
-
3:14 - 3:18because at the end of this talk,
I'm going to invite you, -
3:18 - 3:20I'm going to challenge you
to reach out to somebody. -
3:21 - 3:23Now, the idea of reaching out to somebody,
-
3:23 - 3:27how many of you find that idea
just a little bit scary? -
3:27 - 3:28Yeah, you know.
-
3:29 - 3:31And I was terrified.
-
3:31 - 3:33I mean, here I was,
back on the doorstep here, -
3:33 - 3:34Lincoln, Nebraska.
-
3:34 - 3:36I'm about to knock on this door,
-
3:36 - 3:40and I remember something that Rob,
my friend who got me into this, -
3:40 - 3:41said to me.
-
3:41 - 3:45He said, "Steve,
don't try to sell anybody. -
3:45 - 3:49You just focus on loving and serving them,
-
3:50 - 3:54and you focus on leaving them
a little happier than when you came." -
3:55 - 3:59That got me going,
and that got me knocking. -
3:59 - 4:02People were friendly enough,
but nobody let me in. -
4:02 - 4:04I mean, I was really bad.
-
4:05 - 4:07And some people weren't friendly at all.
-
4:07 - 4:10I mean, one lady comes to the door
but won't even open the door. -
4:10 - 4:12She's just frowning at me
through the glass. -
4:12 - 4:14She's like, "Look,
you know, I'm not interested. -
4:14 - 4:16You know, just show me what you got."
-
4:18 - 4:21I grabbed these five children's books
out of my satchel, -
4:21 - 4:24and I just completely - terrified.
-
4:24 - 4:27I totally blanked,
and I didn't know what to do, -
4:27 - 4:28and then I thought,
-
4:28 - 4:30"Well, let me at least try
to love and serve her -
4:30 - 4:32and leave her with a smile."
-
4:32 - 4:35So all of a sudden,
my creativity kicked in. -
4:35 - 4:38I start actually, you know,
reading little excerpts of the stories. -
4:38 - 4:43I found voices for animal voices in me
that I didn't even know I had. -
4:43 - 4:44(Laughter)
-
4:44 - 4:46She's not smiling.
-
4:47 - 4:50"Young man, may I ask you a question?"
-
4:50 - 4:51"Yes."
-
4:52 - 4:55"Will you take a MasterCard
or do I have to write you a check?" -
4:55 - 4:57(Laughing)
-
4:57 - 4:59MasterCard, check?
-
4:59 - 5:01I take Discover!
-
5:02 - 5:04That's how I made my first sale.
-
5:05 - 5:07And I survived that summer;
-
5:07 - 5:10and in fact, because of things
I learned along the way, -
5:10 - 5:16I actually finished that summer
as one of the top first-year salespeople. -
5:17 - 5:20And then, I actually went
into business with my brother, -
5:20 - 5:22where we teach - irony of ironies -
-
5:22 - 5:24people, we teach them
-
5:24 - 5:27how to market their books,
their products and their services, -
5:27 - 5:30and my dad couldn't be prouder.
-
5:32 - 5:33Here's what I've learned:
-
5:34 - 5:36Everyone has doors.
-
5:37 - 5:40That if you knock
on those doors, they open. -
5:40 - 5:42They can bring incredible blessings.
-
5:42 - 5:46But most of us never knock,
because we're scared. -
5:47 - 5:49Those doors could bring you sales.
-
5:49 - 5:50They could bring you funding.
-
5:50 - 5:54They could bring you advice,
connections, publicity. -
5:54 - 5:56But you don't knock on them,
and you know why? -
5:56 - 5:59I'm convinced it's because
we have a giant misconception -
5:59 - 6:01of what it means to sell.
-
6:02 - 6:03To "sell" is a dirty word.
-
6:03 - 6:06People think it's manipulative
or something like that. -
6:06 - 6:09I have redefined what it is to sell.
-
6:09 - 6:11I want to give you my definition.
-
6:11 - 6:12I created a little acronym.
-
6:12 - 6:14Now, I don't really like acronyms,
-
6:14 - 6:17but I created this
because I think it's really helpful: -
6:18 - 6:19To sell -
-
6:20 - 6:23S-E-L-L:
-
6:23 - 6:27Sincerely Encourage
-
6:27 - 6:31by Listening and Loving.
-
6:31 - 6:36Sincerely Encourage by Listening
and Loving - makes all the difference. -
6:37 - 6:38You know, S is for "Sincerely."
-
6:38 - 6:41When I think of sincere,
I think of Elaine. -
6:41 - 6:44She's one of the sweetest,
most sincere people I know. -
6:44 - 6:46She came to me, and she said,
-
6:46 - 6:48"Steve, I'm a psychologist.
-
6:48 - 6:52I have this program that,
really, I know will help children." -
6:52 - 6:55I mean, her love for children
just radiates from her. -
6:55 - 6:57"And the thing is, though, Steve,
-
6:57 - 6:59the schools aren't interested.
-
6:59 - 7:00Nobody's paying me.
-
7:00 - 7:03I guess I'm just not much
of a salesperson." -
7:04 - 7:08I said, "Elaine, you have
what it really takes to sell. -
7:08 - 7:10You have one of the most important assets:
-
7:10 - 7:11your sincerity.
-
7:11 - 7:13You just need a little bit of training."
-
7:13 - 7:16So I taught her how to have
the conversation with people, -
7:16 - 7:17how to reach out.
-
7:17 - 7:20She calls on the principal
of a local school. -
7:20 - 7:23When she calls on that principal,
-
7:23 - 7:25principal says, "I've got
so much going on right now. -
7:25 - 7:27My calendar is just jammed."
-
7:28 - 7:32The old Elaine would have just
turned around and walked away rejected. -
7:33 - 7:34The new Elaine,
-
7:34 - 7:37Elaine version 2.0,
-
7:38 - 7:39took a breath
-
7:39 - 7:43and just really experienced
that principal's stress. -
7:43 - 7:45And she just said,
-
7:45 - 7:47"Wow, I could see, I could understand.
-
7:47 - 7:49You really do have a lot going on.
-
7:49 - 7:53Since your calendar's jammed now,
why don't we just take a look -
7:53 - 7:56and see when you might have time
to talk for a few minutes -
7:56 - 7:58because I know your kids
would really love this." -
7:59 - 8:01She got the appointment.
-
8:02 - 8:04She met with Elaine; the two hit it off.
-
8:04 - 8:06And as a result of that,
-
8:06 - 8:10Elaine is now doing
a pilot program at that school. -
8:10 - 8:14In fact, she's learned how
to communicate her values so sincerely -
8:14 - 8:17that she is speaking
at conferences for teachers, -
8:17 - 8:20she's training teachers internationally,
-
8:20 - 8:22and she's getting paid for it.
-
8:22 - 8:24But it wouldn't have happened
-
8:24 - 8:27if she hadn't owned
the sincerely part of her. -
8:28 - 8:29E is for "Encouragement."
-
8:29 - 8:33Encourage people to take action.
-
8:34 - 8:37Sometimes we're hesitant
to knock on a door -
8:37 - 8:40because we're worried
about getting turned down. -
8:40 - 8:41Do you know there are people
-
8:41 - 8:44that might just be waiting
for you to knock on their door? -
8:45 - 8:47CareerBuilder did a survey:
-
8:47 - 8:5276% of people who are in a full-time job,
they're looking for another job, -
8:52 - 8:55or at least they're open
to another opportunity. -
8:55 - 8:58You could encourage them
to take that action. -
8:58 - 9:02Somebody who opened up
an opportunity for me -
9:03 - 9:05was my high school science teacher.
-
9:05 - 9:08This guy was really shy, a real introvert,
-
9:08 - 9:12and you know, I have to tell you,
he really was very boring as a teacher. -
9:12 - 9:13Okay?
-
9:13 - 9:16Sorry, Mr. Bush,
if you're watching, you know. -
9:16 - 9:19But Mr. Bush saw me
in the hallway, and he said, -
9:19 - 9:21"Steve, can I talk to you for a minute?"
-
9:21 - 9:22I go, "Yeah, okay."
-
9:22 - 9:23We go into his classroom.
-
9:23 - 9:28He says, "Steve, have you
ever thought about wrestling?" -
9:29 - 9:30(Laughter)
-
9:30 - 9:35"Uh, no. I'm 91 pounds.
That's why I run winter track." -
9:36 - 9:38"Well, Steve, I'm the wrestling coach,
-
9:38 - 9:42and I saw you goofing around in the gym,
and you're really talented. -
9:42 - 9:45I really think that you
could do well with wrestling. -
9:45 - 9:47You can wrestle in your weight class.
-
9:47 - 9:49I mean, you're a stud."
-
9:49 - 9:50(Laughter)
-
9:51 - 9:53Let me tell you something:
-
9:53 - 9:55When you're in ninth grade
and you weigh 91 pounds -
9:55 - 9:57and somebody calls you a stud,
-
9:57 - 10:00you are encouraged to take action.
-
10:00 - 10:01(Applause)
-
10:01 - 10:04I didn't run winter track;
I wrestled that winter. -
10:05 - 10:07And I had great memories.
-
10:08 - 10:11I thought that he was
a mild-mannered health teacher. -
10:12 - 10:16Turns out, Mr. Bush
was a salesperson in disguise. -
10:16 - 10:17(Laughing)
-
10:18 - 10:22Sincerely encouraged by listening.
-
10:23 - 10:26A lot of people think
that great salespeople are great talkers. -
10:27 - 10:31The best salespeople
are the best listeners. -
10:31 - 10:35Forrester Research did a study,
and they found that among customers, -
10:35 - 10:41only 13% believe that a salesperson
can understand their challenges -
10:41 - 10:43and truly help them.
-
10:45 - 10:46The key is listening.
-
10:46 - 10:47The key is asking questions.
-
10:47 - 10:49What kinds of questions?
-
10:50 - 10:51Questions like,
-
10:51 - 10:53What are your biggest goals?
-
10:53 - 10:55Where are you trying to go?
-
10:55 - 10:57What's getting in the way?
-
10:57 - 10:58What have you tried?
-
10:59 - 11:01What's your story?"
-
11:02 - 11:03Robert Collier said,
-
11:03 - 11:05"The key to persuasion
-
11:05 - 11:10is to enter the conversation
already going on in the person's mind." -
11:11 - 11:14How are you going to do that
if you don't ask questions? -
11:15 - 11:19Sincerely encourage by listening.
-
11:19 - 11:24And the last L in that S-E-L-
is the most important one of all: -
11:24 - 11:26loving.
-
11:26 - 11:27Loving.
-
11:27 - 11:29You know, it's amazing.
-
11:29 - 11:31Love is the most powerful
force in the world. -
11:31 - 11:34We can overcome our greatest fears,
our greatest anxieties. -
11:34 - 11:37We can scale to new heights.
-
11:38 - 11:42And yet when I talk to salespeople
and business leaders and sales trainers, -
11:42 - 11:47I'm amazed that very, very few companies
-
11:47 - 11:51ever use the word "love"
in their training. -
11:51 - 11:52It's amazing.
-
11:52 - 11:55Maybe that's why, according
to Harvard Business Review, -
11:55 - 11:59people that are excited
and that sign up for a position in sales, -
12:00 - 12:04they're twice as likely to quit
than people in other jobs. -
12:05 - 12:10I contend that's because they were never
really told what sales really is. -
12:10 - 12:14Sales, selling, is love;
-
12:14 - 12:17marketing is love.
-
12:17 - 12:20It's about loving people.
-
12:20 - 12:23Now, I've had friends,
I've had business people tell me, -
12:23 - 12:25"Look, you know,
this all sounds good, Steve, -
12:25 - 12:28but don't talk so much about love.
-
12:28 - 12:30It feels uncomfortable."
-
12:32 - 12:34You know what I say to that?
-
12:35 - 12:36They'll say,
-
12:36 - 12:40"Don't talk so much about love;
talk about how selling is serving." -
12:40 - 12:45I say, "Okay, but focus on loving people,
-
12:45 - 12:48and you will end up
serving them so much better." -
12:49 - 12:51It's amazing what it can do.
-
12:51 - 12:57You know, it's one of these things
where what I find about the power of love -
12:57 - 13:00is that it completely gives you
the courage and everything that you need. -
13:00 - 13:06Everything that we've talked about
can be summarized really, really in that. -
13:06 - 13:11And one of the things that I found is that
one of the biggest things you can do -
13:11 - 13:15is focus on who you're becoming
in this process. -
13:16 - 13:19Because it's easy to get up here
and talk about love, -
13:20 - 13:24but it's also easy to forget
to do everything I've just said. -
13:25 - 13:26I find myself -
-
13:26 - 13:29I get so locked in, sometimes, to my goal
-
13:29 - 13:31and what I want to achieve
and what I want to accomplish, -
13:32 - 13:35and I'm a million miles from this message.
-
13:35 - 13:37I'm not loving people;
-
13:37 - 13:38I'm not listening to people.
-
13:38 - 13:40I'm getting irritated.
I'm getting annoyed. -
13:40 - 13:42I'm getting frustrated.
-
13:42 - 13:44I've crossed to the dark side.
-
13:44 - 13:45(Laughing)
-
13:45 - 13:49But I learned something from Og Mandino.
-
13:49 - 13:50I was reading Og Mandino,
-
13:50 - 13:52an inspirational writer for salespeople,
-
13:53 - 13:56and I actually was inspired
to create a technique. -
13:56 - 13:57And in that moment,
-
13:57 - 14:00when I'm feeling stressed
or fearful or angry or impatient, -
14:01 - 14:04I actually, when I catch it,
-
14:04 - 14:07I focus on the person I'm there to serve,
-
14:08 - 14:10and I mentally - without saying anything -
-
14:10 - 14:13I say to them without saying any words,
-
14:13 - 14:15just in my own mind, I say,
-
14:15 - 14:18"I love you, I love you, I love you."
-
14:19 - 14:20And something happens:
-
14:20 - 14:24the crustiness around my heart
starts to melt away. -
14:24 - 14:27I become more present
to this person's humanity -
14:27 - 14:31and more focused on them
and more compassionate. -
14:32 - 14:34And when you do that,
-
14:34 - 14:39you become a much more
successful salesperson, -
14:40 - 14:42but you become a better human being.
-
14:44 - 14:45Reminds me of a story
-
14:45 - 14:50that one of my early mentors,
the late Spencer Hays, told. -
14:50 - 14:51He said,
-
14:51 - 14:56"There was a pastor one Saturday
who was working on his Sunday sermon, -
14:56 - 14:59and his son kept bothering him,
you know, kept interrupting him. -
14:59 - 15:02He said, 'I've got to figure out a way
to keep this kid busy.' -
15:02 - 15:05So he grabbed a
National Geographic magazine, -
15:05 - 15:07and he found a picture
of the planet Earth, -
15:07 - 15:10and he tore it out,
cut it up into little pieces, -
15:10 - 15:12and gave it to his son, and he said,
-
15:12 - 15:15"Put the planet Earth back together -
here's some Scotch Tape - -
15:15 - 15:17and let me know when you're done."
-
15:17 - 15:20He's figuring this will keep
the kid busy for hours. -
15:20 - 15:23Kid comes back ten minutes later -
-
15:23 - 15:24'Done!' –
-
15:24 - 15:27proudly holding the world
all taped back together. -
15:27 - 15:29His father can't believe it;
-
15:29 - 15:31he goes, 'What? How did you do that?'
-
15:32 - 15:34'It was easy, Dad.
-
15:34 - 15:36See, on the other side of the page,
-
15:36 - 15:37(Laughter)
-
15:37 - 15:39there was a picture of a person.
-
15:39 - 15:45And I figured if I got the person right,
the world would be right.' -
15:46 - 15:47Say that again:
-
15:47 - 15:52'I figured if I got the person right,
the world would be right.'" -
15:53 - 15:56Focus on being the right person,
-
15:57 - 16:01and the world will be
so much easier to reach. -
16:01 - 16:06Focus on sincerely encouraging
-
16:06 - 16:09by listening and by loving,
-
16:09 - 16:10and you will be amazed
-
16:10 - 16:14at the courage you have to go to doors,
the courage you have to knock on doors. -
16:14 - 16:16You will be amazed
-
16:16 - 16:20at how many of those people
thank you for changing their life. -
16:21 - 16:25So whose door should you be knocking on?
-
16:26 - 16:29Who do you wish would say yes to you?
-
16:29 - 16:30I want you to go.
-
16:30 - 16:33I want you - you'll never be
more motivated than now. -
16:33 - 16:36I want you to go send them a text,
send them an email, make a call, -
16:36 - 16:38take some action,
-
16:38 - 16:42and begin a conversation with them.
-
16:42 - 16:44That's what love would do.
-
16:45 - 16:48And let me know how it goes
because I am rooting for you. -
16:49 - 16:52Knock on that door today,
-
16:53 - 16:58and if you do, you will begin
one of the greatest journeys of your life. -
16:59 - 17:00Thank you.
-
17:00 - 17:02(Applause)
- Title:
- How to sell without selling your soul | Steve Harrison | TEDxWilmingtonSalon
- Description:
-
Want to persuade more people to say “yes” to what you offer without feeling as if you’re some kind of "high-pressure salesperson"? In this inspiring and humorous talk, marketing expert Steve Harrison redefines what it really means "to sell." He reveals a simple four-step method for unleashing your desire to serve others so you can be more comfortable, confident and convincing.
Steve Harrison is one of the top sales and marketing consultants in the world. He specializes in teaching people how to sell themselves more effectively by positioning themselves as helpful experts in their fields. His company has helped launch many bestselling books including RICH DAD POOR DAD and CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL. People from all walks of life – business owners, nonprofit leaders, salespeople, authors, CEO’s professional athletes, doctors, professors, artists, therapists – regularly attend his seminars or personally consult with him and his team in order to increase their sales and impact. Along with his brother Bill, Steve is a co-founder of the National Publicity Summit and the Quantum Leap Marketing and Publicity Program.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 17:11
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