Are You a Young, Proud, Rude Pharisee? - Ask Pastor Tim

He says - now follow this.

You have to be discerning.

And I know I've read
this thing 3 or 4 times,

so sometimes you don't catch everything

in the first time you read it.

"I want to live for Christ

with all that is in me..."

Okay. You get that far...

Again, love assumes the best.

And you take him at his word.

"I attended a youth group

which I no longer attend.

And the youth pastor sent
me a long message."

So this is the youth pastor

to one of the young
men that was attending.

"In it, he said I was a Pharisee.

He called me stubborn.

He called me judgmental, rude,

cruel, toxic, and prideful."

I mean, to even get one of those words

is not good,

but when a pastor gives
you all those words...

"He said this was feedback

he received from others."

And then the guy admits,

"those who aren't Christians
have told me things like this."

So this isn't the first guy
that's told him this.

And then he admits this too:

"I'm sure there are just as many
Christians who think this..."

about him.

And then he says this,

"Obviously, there is a disconnect here.

I've watched you guys at I'll Be Honest.

I read the Puritans.

I read ten chapters a day of Scripture."

And then he says this:

"I don't see how someone

could be saturated with so much truth

and yet be accused of things like this."

If you're discerning, I hope you recognize

there's something really wrong with that.

"I love God.

I love His Word.

And my life has drastically changed

since my conversion."

And then he admits this:

"Prayer is a weak area in my life.

So maybe my problem is there.

If not, where else could it be?

I bear marks of truly being saved,

and those who are calling
me all these things

don't deny that I'm saved.

But, could it be that I'm still lost?

I don't want to be bringing

so much dishonor to God with these things,

so please help."

Mario, what do you tell him?

(from the room)

That's tough.

Because, those people could be

testifying to right things in his life,

but they could also be resisting truth.

Tim: Let me just ask this question.

Is it likely that multiple
people telling you -

because he admits that other people

have told him similar things.

When you have multiple people telling you

that you are Pharisaical, stubborn,

judgmental, rude, cruel,
toxic, and prideful,

is it likely that there's not
a shred of truth to it?

(from the room)

Sounds like a cage-stager.

Tim: Sounds like what?

(from the room)
He's in a cage stage a little bit.

Tim: Cage stage?

(from the room)
In Calvinism, when you first learn

about Calvinism or truths, it's very easy

to be obnoxious about it

and basically beat everybody around you.

Tim: Now, he doesn't
bring that out specifically.

(from the room)
the fact he said those

who aren't Christians
have told me these things -

to me, that holds even more
weight than the Christians.

That unbelievers are telling
him these same things -

that he's judgmental, stubborn, toxic...

Tim: But let's pick up on this.

How many of you were, in the beginning

when you came to kind of embrace

the doctrines of grace - if you have -

maybe some of you haven't;

but how many of you were

somewhat obnoxious with it?

Okay, so we've got hands,
but let me ask you.

Even... and so was I.

Even in that state

as obnoxious as you were,

did people say this about you?

Did they call you Pharisaical, stubborn,

judgmental, rude, cruel,
toxic, and prideful?

(from the room)
Not all at the same time.

Tim: Well, see, I actually don't remember

anybody using those words to describe me.

(from the room)
I just got told that I'm preaching

another Gospel.

Tim: Well, right. That was more the thing.

Well, it can't be true.

Somebody told me,

"I hope you'll be happy
in heaven by yourself."

Because it seemed so narrow.

(from the room)
You told me I was judgmental.

But that was after about a year
and a half of being a Christian.

So we don't know much about this pastor.

He might be solid on
the same page doctrinally.

Tim: Oh, he could be.

(incomplete thought)

(from the room)
Did you mention the kids age?

Or did you skip that?
Tim: I skipped it.

(from the room)
To me, that's interesting too.

Tim: He's 14.

That softened people.

I purposely left it out for that reason.

But at 14, you're that proud, obnoxious,

toxic? I mean that word!

That's a bad word.

What's that?

(from the room)
Would it be easier for him

to fall into that because he's so young?

Tim: Perhaps.

(from the room)
If he was 24, he'd have ten more years

of maturing as a person.

Tim: But here's one of the things he says.

"I watch you guys on I'll Be Honest.

I read the Puritans and I read

ten chapters a day of Scripture."

Now that's kind of
Pharisaical right there.

It's like throwing out there:

"I read ten chapters a day."

And then to say, "I don't see how

someone could be saturated
with so much truth

and yet be accused of things like this."

Well, see, that's lacking discernment.

That's very ignorant.

(from the room)
He's just immature.

But I think he's trying
to protect himself.

He's 14 in this world.

I don't know what kind
of school he goes to,

but I think if he goes to public school,

I can see myself trying to
wrap myself in the Word

and just standing on it.

So he's immature, but at the same time,

I think he's trying to
stand for what is right.

That's a lot of negative
words in one sentence.

Tim: He's 14. He's a baby.

So we don't excuse it,

but maybe we are a little softer.

He needs guidance. Okay.

What guidance are we going to give him?

Because he's probably watching.

Or he probably will watch
if James puts this up.

(unintelligible)

Tim: Well, surrounding himself

with those who are very gracious

would be a good influence;

it would be a good starting point.

And you know, there's a possibility

that he doesn't have saved parents.

He was converted maybe
not through family means.

(Incomplete thought)

He doesn't talk about
his parental situation.

But is there anything in Scripture

that would lead us to believe

that we become like those we hang around?

Can anybody quote some place?

(unintelligible)

Well, that's the negative,

but how about the positive?

(unintelligible)

He who walks with the wise is wise.

(unintelligible)

Yeah, it's definitely a biblical reality.

And there's the reality of imitation.

We're to imitate the faith of people.

And we're very much called

to imitate those who imitate Christ.

We're very much called to find people -

you know, it's kind of
the leaven principle.

Leaven leavens the lump.

But it's amazing when
you have godly people -

you know how often people

came away from just
sitting for a little bit

and talking to Martyn Lloyd-Jones?

They said you just felt a
greater nearness to God.

I remember Charles and Mona said

that they were in Wales,

and a friend of Lloyd-Jones -

and I can't recall his name right off,

was it McMillan?

They spent a little time with him

and they said it was like

the fragrance of Christ
stayed with them for awhile.

There's impact in being around people.

I noticed at the Denton conference -

you know, I'd look around

and I'd look to see where Jared was.

It wasn't really that I was
looking to see where he was;

it was just I would notice,

hey, there's Charles. There's Jared.

Hey, there's Geoffrey Thomas.
There's Jared.

The guy's walking around
with all the preachers.

Well, you know there's something to that.

And if we surround ourselves

with the godliest people that we can,

it's really going to have
an impact on our life.

That would be one thing to tell him.

Being in a church where you have

those kind of elders;

men whose faith is worth imitating.

What else would you tell him?

(from the room)
I would say something that I learned

earlier in my walk.

He mentioned the fact that
he reads a lot of Puritans.

(unintelligible)

Maybe sometimes you need
to lay off those books

and go to Scripture and see how

you're supposed to be a Christian.

That helped me because I got into

reading all this, and
Mack told me one day,

hey, brother, how about you
just lay off those books

and just focus on the Bible itself

and that greatly helped me.

Tim: And he says, "I don't see how

someone could be saturated
with so much truth

and yet be accused of things like this."

I would say to him

you can be saturated with a lot of truth,

but if you're not living the truth;

if you actually are being mean and cruel

and toxic and rude and Pharisaical,

that's why you're being accused of it.

How much intake of Puritans

or how much intake of Scripture

isn't the issue.

Because there is a knowledge,

there's a gaining of intellect
that simply puffs up.

It produces pride.

One of the things that can happen

is we gain information, and
we become judgmental.

We judge other people.

Or we look down on other people

because they don't know what we know.

But, what we want to aim for

is to be transformed by this truth.

And then he does admit this too.

He admits that his
prayer life isn't very good.

See, that's another indication of pride,

because desperate people,

needy people pray.

Proud people don't need the Lord.

They don't need to pray.

When people know:

"Lord, I can't do this without You,"

you find them out in the field praying

or in their closet praying.

People who can bypass prayer,

that is a real evidence of weakness,

immaturity, pride,
self-sufficiency, independence.

Anybody say anything else?

(from the room)

I mean, that balance is difficult.

That balance that James and yourself

were talking about last Sunday.

That's a difficult thing.

And we need a lot of help
from the Holy Spirit

to find balance. It's tough.

Tim: One of the things

that we need to remember too -

he's not actually saying
that this has to do

with embracing the sovereignty of God

or the doctrines of grace.

But I will say this,

it's very interesting to me,

when I was studying -

I did a number of messages,

six messages here at GCC

on hyper-Calvinism several years back,

and what was very interesting to me

is that Calvin in his "Institutes" -

he started by having election first

and then the doctrine of justification.

Now think about it -

that's the order in which they happen.

In eternity past, God chooses.

In the course of time, we believe

and are justified by
faith in Jesus Christ.

So he put them in ordo salutis fashion.

But you know what he recognized?

He recognized the doctrine of election

is a stumbling block for the lost.

And he changed the chapters.

He put justification by
faith before election.

There's a lot of wisdom to that.

A lot of people come
across the doctrines of grace

and you know what they want to do?

They want to lost grandma

and start talking Romans 9.

That's not what you want to do.

You want to go to the text you went to.

"Whoever thirsts..."

You want to preach the Gospel to them.

Banging people over the head
with election doesn't save them.

People need to trust Christ.

You need to show them Christ.

You need to show them
the beauties of Christ.

You need to put Him up as
the only hope of mankind.

Because really, when it comes
to the responsibility of men,

their responsibility is: God commands
all men everywhere to repent.

That's their responsibility.

Because what happens is

I thank the Lord,

I was not bogged down by election

and predestination.

I came across "The Gospel
According to Jesus,"

and I was hit full blast with the Gospel

out of Matthew's Gospel primarily.

I didn't know those things

and so they weren't a stumbling block;

they weren't a snare to me.

But I've seen people get
so ensnared by that.

But it's a non-issue.

You say why? If I'm not
chosen, I can't be saved!

Technically speaking, yes, that's true.

But, the reality of Scripture

is that if you come to Christ,

He's not going to cast you out.

If you thirst, drink.

That's what Scripture says.

Whosoever... if you're thirsty, drink.

So you don't want to hit people

with this thought -

and you know what Jared was just saying?

This last Sunday he preached out of John 7

and when he was all done,

a woman came up and said,
"I didn't like that message,

because you didn't emphasize
the fact that God chooses us."

See, that is the hyper-
Calvinism right there.

Because you know what happens?

You tell the sinner,

"Well, you can only
be saved if you're elect."

And so you know what they do?

Now they're going to sit there

and they're going to wait
to see if they're elect.

And they're going to think it's useless

to do anything else

until I can figure out if I'm elect.

But they're never going to
figure out if they're elect.

When the reality is,
Jesus didn't come along

and say you've got to
figure out if you're elect.

He came along and He said,
"repent and believe the Gospel."

And we appeal to man's responsibility,

not to God's sovereignty,

not when we're preaching the Gospel.

And it's a snare.

I think Calvin was absolutely
right in doing what he did.

So we need to be careful.

We come to these doctrines;

we come to the doctrine of
the sovereignty of God.

But what that ought to do

is not be this club to beat
people over the head;

it ought to fuel your confidence

that when you take the
Gospel and preach it,

it's going to be the power
of God unto salvation.

People are going to get saved.

Because God's going to see
to it that people get saved.

But they're going to get saved

as you lift up Christ.

Remember what Christ said.

It's just like out there
in the wilderness,

you've got all these fiery serpents
and they're biting people

and what happened?

Moses, make a brazen serpent.

And he lifted it up on a pole,

and as many as looked -

and He said in the same way,

the Son of Man is going to be lifted up,

and whoever looks on Him and believes,

they're going to be saved.

That's what we want to show people.

Christ is your only hope.

Scripture does not say
election is your only hope.

Christ is your only hope.

(incomplete thought)

Yes, in a way, I know you could argue,

well, election does bring hope.

And it does.

It brings certainty to the reality

that our Gospel is going to produce fruit.

(from the room)

Brother, I heard Lloyd-Jones in his book,

"What is an Evangelical?"

And he boldly stated,
"yes, I'm a Calvinist,

but I wouldn't put predestination

and election under the essentials."

He said it's not essential.

It's the resurrection, being born again,

that's what essential.

Tim: Any other word for young Zechariah?

Okay.

You'd warn him against pride.

(from the room)

Maybe take him the
Scripture about being humble.

Isaiah 66.

"This is the one to whom I will look,

he who is humble and contrite in spirit

and trembles at My Word."

Tim: The problem with
pride is that it's blind.

The problem with pride
is that it exalts self.

And when you're exalting yourself,

you're right in your own eyes.

And so, that's the difficulty.

(from the room)

I'd probably ask him if he's gone

to his youth pastor

and asked him why he said those things.

(unintelligible)

Tim: Well, I have a feeling

there is definitely weight behind it.

There's truth behind it.

And I guess that's one
of the things I'd say to him

is take these things as being true,

and humble yourself.

Repent of these things.

Humble yourself before the Lord.