SNL Highlight: GIRLS Promo

An Albanian girl named Blerta moves to Brooklyn and offers sage advice to Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna.

Cast:
Noël Wells: Hannah Horvath
Cecily Strong: Marnie Michaels
Kate McKinnon: Jessa Johansson
Vanessa Bayer: Shoshanna Shapiro
Tina Fey: Blerta
Taran Killam: Adam Sackler

Original air date: September 28, 2013

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SNL Highlight: GIRLS Promo
http://www.youtube.com/user/NBC

Honestly I feel like I'm living the life

I was meant to be living,

I just wish it was the life I wanted to be living.

[sigh of frustration]

I had my entire future scripted,

and now it feels like someone else is doing a rewrite

I just find orgys so boring

[sobbing]

Today an old man on the subway told me to shutup

I mean, omfmg, I don't think I talk too much

I mean, you guys would tell me if I talk too much

I mean I don't think I do, right?

I have roof over head

for this, I thank God.

If you're going to live with me,

you should know I have OCD

I also have OCD.

[surprised] Cool! You're obsessive-compulsive too?

No, I have old cow disease.

It's when old cow bites you and disease

infects the skin...it's why I have rubber hand.

Honestly, your life is like so much

more interesting than mine.

It's just not fair!

I mean, so what, I have sex with a cab driver, right?

It's called being free.

You are prostitute?

No it's not prostitution if you don't get paid.

You are unpaid prostitute. You are lower than dog.

Thank you.

I love your outfit by the way, where did you get that?

A fire.

Ooh.

Sheik.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Ray is great, but there

are times that I wish that he were someone else, you know?

or, not that he was someone else but that

I was someone else, and that

Don't speak!

If you speak they will know you are simple.

If they know you are simple, they will

drown you in river.

I am very hungry.

Please, may I eat doughnut from your head?

My ex-boyfriend is an internet millionaire.

My ex-boyfriend is buried in shallow grave.

On windy days the dirt covering

him blows away and you can see skull

Oh Milat, why did you stare at the mayor?

Well I don't know what you want from me kid. We belong together.

Why can't you see, that I deserve better than you?

Because I can see it. And Blerta can see it.

You will never do better than this man.

He is strong like ox, you are weak and soft and dressed like baby.

I just don't know how anything is gonna turn out!

It's ok, you are only 15.

No I'm not, I'm 24

24, what the [bleep] is wrong with you?