Sexabled: Disability Uncensored

Award winning documentary celebrating the sexual lives of people with disabilities. The film explores sexuality through a panel at UC Berkeley called Are Cripple Screwed, along with San Francisco comedian Jackson McBrayer and last comic standing winner Josh Blue.

Also featuring: The late Paul Longmore, Alex Ghenis, Melissa Steele-Ogus, Olympia Santana.

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Captions courtesy of the Radical Access Mapping Project, on the Un-ceded Coast Salish Territories of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) peoples.
To learn more, see: http://radicalaccessiblecommunities.wordpress.com/subtitled-videos/
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[LAUGHTER, GIGGLING, SOUNDS OF KISSING...]

So much of the time when I go out
like in my wheelchair,

um, I feel like people
aren't seeing me as a person,

I feel like people see me as a chair.

Until very recently I haven't met anyone else

who has my condition...

I've only met them like online
through support groups.

I would try to hide,
try to cover up my disability,

as much as I could,

and I thought that by not wearing
like hearing aides--

even though that's just
disabling myself even more

because hearing aides are supposed to help me--

I disabled myself because
I didn't want someone to see that.

I was afraid that them seeing that,

they wouldn't want to have
a relationship with me,

they wouldn't be interested in me sexually.

I do feel lonely.

Um, I, I don't know, like I... it's...

I've been single for two years.

We usually think of disability as
some kind of physiological condition

that limits the ability of people
to function in society,

to play the social roles
that are typically expected of them.

Um, so disability would limit them in, say,
their ability to work,

or be a student, or,
in the case of what we're talking about,

to be a lover or partner.

The result of the disability would be that they would
be sexually and romantically impaired in some way.

In fact those expectations,
those views of what disability is,

point to the fact, that disability
is not simply medical or physiological,

but much more importantly
it's social and cultural,

it's a constructed identity,

so that certain physical traits or mental traits
of certain kinds of people

get stigmatized and...

the stigma is globalized
to engulf their entire identities.

I'm always feeling like I have to prove myself
in so many different ways.

The way I feel about myself,

it's just different than how people see me,

it's just like more, especially with men, like,

they see skin "oh yeah, that's it, that's sexy",
you know?

or they see a good body

"OK that's sexy".

Well, OK, I'm not showing skin
because I'm really cold,

and, um, with the body part, pfft, no,
that's just gross.

Actually I didn't used to wear makeup
til about a couple years ago.

I didn't think I, you know, it would be a point
for me to wear makeup, you know?

I mean, I don't know if you know, but, that's my...

that was my idea.

Yeah, until just like more recently I kind of
started getting into it, you know.

I'm like, ehh why not?

What the hell!

I actually studied disability rights,
and performed as a disabled person in college.

I went to a very hippie college called the
Evergreen State college in Olympia, WA,

and you could create your own majors...

One of the things I watched was
this documentary about disability and sexuality.

I remember just going "hey, you know what?

I do have those needs that everyone has,
and desires

it's OK to feel that way.

You know, our symptoms and our disabilities
are the things that people notice first about us,

but they may be the least
interesting things about us.

I was dating this girl for a while,

and uh, we had just had sex that day

and then afterwards she suggested
we had sex in my wheelchair

the fact that it was her idea was awesome!

and the reason that it is,
beyond like the whole novelty of it

is that it's actually an ultimate act of acceptance

instead of saying "I'm dating you

and I'm fine with you being in a chair"

but if she's having sex with you in your chair

it's not "oh it's fine, I'm ok with it"

It's "I like it, accept it, and it's actually uh,
something that I'm interested in".

For me in general I would
much rather take my time

finding somebody that I really want to date.

I've gone on dates with plenty of people,
and I've gone on second dates,

but I want to make sure that I found
the right person before I like start to commit.

So, what I do is, I tend to flirt a lot,
I tend to hang out with a lot of people,

to test the waters and to see what they like.

Meeting a lot of cool people and is fun
which is really what matters for me.

My only hope is that I don't break any hearts.

Uhm, what do you think I taught you?
If I may be so bold?

What do you think you taught me about sex?

I don't know what specifically
I have taught you about sex,

but, I think in general, I feel like
I can teach able bodied people

sex doesn't have to be like intercourse,

sex doesn't have to be, uhm, y'know,
penis and vagina sex,

it can be, uhm, you know for me
sex basically is...

anything that, uhm, you know,
gives me sexual pleasure that I can get off on.

I'd like to think I have a sort of
wider definition of what constitutes sex.

Sex is so many things,

it's very much about pleasure,
it's about knowing your body,

knowing your mind,
and it's also about knowing about danger,

cause there are dangers
that go along with sex as well,

and about knowing how to pleasure yourself
and other people,

and it's generative, and it's fun

and it can be painful, and it can be mysterious,
and it's definitely a a gift.

Instead of trying to sell disabled sex
as being normal,

which in a certain sense, it is normal

I think there's a way of trying to sell it in a way
that's both calling it "normal"

and calling it "weird, or transgressive, or queer"

because unless we face up to the fact that
it's really going to scare the crap out of people,

whether it's potential partners, healthcare providers,

or our families, or our parents,

if we don't face up to the scariness

we can't really find ways to deal with this scariness.

One of the things I've done
and the disabled student's union had done

is put on this series of panel discussions
called "Are cripples screwed?"

we chose that because it's kind of in your face

and it breaks down different stereotypes
and different boundaries that a lot of people

feel interested about.

I love doing the panels,
they are so much fun for me,

they originally started as like a dialogue
about disability and sexuality,

and sort of morphed into what it is today,
which is, you know,

we go around to things like co-ops, we go to
sexuality classes, we go to things then we talk about

we talk about sex, we talk about
societal perceptions of these things,

and it's something that has really,

it's something that has really expanded my mind.

I guess for me one of the things about sexuality
and disability, it's a constant about humans,

it doesn't matter your station in life,

but sexuality is a crucial and important part of it,

so, it's something in a way these panels
are a way of identifying with people,

on, through the disabilities,
and through differences that people have

very obviously at the surface level,
it's to finding the common ground

that you can really feel,
just as everybody has sexual frustrations

that are similar enough.

Making that transition from like "OK, I'm doing all that
stuff and certain people are attracted to me,

to all of a sudden like, I'm in chair
and for a solid year afterwards,

I still identified as that guy,

Like, for I'd say a year and a half after my accident,

like, one of my main things was,
OK, like, I'm still a biker,

I'm still going to biking websites,
and I'd still do that.

But eventually, I just kind of said "OK, like,
I'm a political nerd, and I'm going to go to college"

You guys probably noticed that I'm
dressed very provocatively today

and this is something that I like to do
when I go to panels because

partially because I really like to challenge
people's preconceived notions

about what it means to be disabled and a woman;

and it's like y'know, "Oh there's
a girl in the wheelchair"

"Oh my god, she's hot!
Oh no, like, my preconceived notions!"

"This is so confusing!"

American culture, western cultures in general

have become much more open
and frank about sexuality

that happened too among people with disabilities

so that disability was once a taboo subject
is much more open,

like, talked about, and people with all kind
of disabilities have been much more assertive

in claiming their sexuality and
their right to be sexual.

Disabled people, and myself included

are represented horribly in the media

I mean, in movies, in literature, in books, in tv

you never even see a cripple guy have a girlfriend.

He's a great comic from over in San Francisco,
he goes to SF State,

everybody please give it up for
my good friend Jackson McBrayer.

Uhm, I have cerebral palsy which is awesome,

because right now my leg is twitching
which is making me better at sex.

I think that people view me as sort of
a self-appointed spokesman

for disability and sexuality
because that's what I talk about,

and the reason that I talk about it
is because very few people are.

Until I see Stephen Hawking
or some other famous crippled guy on the cover

of some trashy romance novel

I'm still going to be forced to tell
beautiful crafted dick jokes

because no one else is doing it.

You know, I was drinking and after one or two beers

I started to walk better so I asked my doctor about it

"Well Jackson, you have cerebral palsy, anything
that releases your muscles will help you walk better,

like one or two beers, an orgasm, or a joint."

I said "Really doc? You mean
that can get medicinal?

Blow jobs?"

When I try to tell a joke to try to make it,
so you know that it's from the heart,

and you know I had these same
needs and wants as other human beings.

Getting to see disabled people as being sexual

is part of basically bringing them back
to the human race

and making them into like real people again.

If I can help explode the paradigm that says

that everything about me that isn't my body works

and everything about me that is my body doesn't work

sex can explode that.

Sex is desire, inspiration, life changing

Touching, feeling, kissing

Intrigue it's exploring unknowns,
it's very emotional.

Sex is surrender, sex is communion,

sex is being alive.

My ? is not sexy!

Not really!

He gave me a ? for Christmas and it's awesome!

But it's not sexy. It was out here a little while ago.

I guess ? are vaguely fallic.

That's not sexy! Yeah!

Please go out and fuck the disabled!
Goodnight, I'm Jackson McBrayer