HELLUVA BOSS - Truth Seekers // S1: Episode 6

Translation Note: Agent One is Male Agent and Agent Two is Female Agent.

Agent One: Right there, this was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from hell.

Agent Two: They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world

Agent Two: And they seem to be killing specifically targeted people

Agent Two: But why?

Agent One: They always attack at random all over the country.

Agent One: There's no way to predict where they'll show up next.

Agent Two: Oh well...

Agent Two: That's convenience...

Blitzo̶: Remember we can't be seen

Moxxie: Pardon my word sir, but you're currently being the loudest.

Blitzo̶: I said shush your dick sucking lips, Moxxie.

Blitzo̶: LOONA, CLOSE IT!

Millie: WAIT NO!

Blitzo̶: MOXXIE!

Moxxie: I smell... Colors...

Blitzo̶: Back off! You tuxedo-wearing fucks!

Agent One: I'd like to see the suits that corporate corners loses now...

Agent One: That was pretty badass

Agent Two: Super Badass!

Millie renovating the wall.

Millie: Shit! Shit, shit, shit!

Loona: Yeah... Are you okay there?

Millie: What are you doing sitting there?! The boys are in trouble!

Millie: OPEN IT AGAIN!

Loona: Blitz was using a total of

Loona: zero euphemisms, innuendos or swears.

Loona: That means it was serious

Loona: which means i don't open it until...

Millie: OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!

Millie: They aren't here!

Loona: It smells like they went this way.

Loona: Come on, let's find your dumbass twins.

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, little fella

Agent Two: Your partner has been up for a while now

Blitzo̶: Look shitbags, it takes a lot to keep me down alright.

Blitzo̶: I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of

Blitzo̶: Also I have strapped nipple to the car battery

Blitzo̶: O... oh ok...

Agent One: Tell us demon scums, who do you work for?

Agent One: SATAN?

Agent Two: How do you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: Why are you killing humans?

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

Blitzo̶: Ok, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch.

Blitzo̶: First of all

Blitzo̶: We just woke up from a very nasty shock

Blitzo̶: and I'm still feeling fucking woozy so

Blitzo̶: I'm gonna request you to fetch us some coffee before we get into this

Blitzo̶: I mean everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this

Blitzo̶: Am I right?

Blitzo̶: I WANT SOMETHING ICED, BITCH! MOX?

Moxxie: I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino,

Moxxie: make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk,

Moxxie: the beans won't have the right texture otherwise,

Moxxie: and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup

Moxxie: they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that.

Moxxie: If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto.

Moxxie: Please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and...

Moxxie: RISTRETTO!

Moxxie: I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom.

Moxxie: Then, add the coffee after, then-

Agent One: ENOUGH! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Blitzo̶: Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats.

Agent two: If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you, nasty hell beasts.

Moxxie: When you say "tortured" you mean physical or psychological?

Moxxie: Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain

Moxxie: and you have no way of knowing what was true.

Blitzo̶: -Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: What do you mean by that?

Blitzo̶: Oh, you're stupid, huh. I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy.

Moxxie laughing

Moxxie: Good one sir, Daddy likey-

Agent Two: You better stop laughing at us.

Agent One: Yeah! You're the one at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry.

Moxxie: I mean considering your approach thus far,

Moxxie: you've had us tied up here, for what, hours?

Moxxie: And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are.

Agent Two: What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

Agent One: Oh, a smart guy eh?

Agent Two: One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!

Blitzo̶: Ohh, getting kinky.

Agent One: WHAT?!? We ain't playing any of your vile demon games!

Blitzo̶: I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos.

Moxxie: PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir.

Blitzo̶: Why not? I know the shit you're into-

Agent One: STAAHP! We are NOT getting kinky wit youse!

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!

Blitzo̶: Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends: Who you going to call, hmm?

Blitzo̶: Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon!

Agent Two: His fat mom is DEAD!

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Fuck, this looks intense.

Loona: How are we gonna get in?

Millie: Lift me up to that vent!

Millie: Throw me!

Poor SOB screaming while being dismembered

Loona: Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady.

Millie: I'm like 5 years older than you.

Agent One: HEY! Stop insulting my mother, she's dead!

Agent Two: Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking.

Blitzo̶: Don't worry Mox, if we keep being obnoxious they'll eventually slip up

Blitzo̶: and we'll get a chance to get out.

Blitzo̶: Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works.

Agent One: HmmMMMmmm, so the demons wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games...

Agent Two: Yeah.

Moxxie: I'm just worried about Millie; she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure.

Blitzo̶: Ugh, she'll be fine Moxxie. It would take a roided up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Moxxie: We've never dealt with the human government before, she's in danger.

Blitzo̶: Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?

Blitzo̶: It's always "Oh, how's Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie."

Blitzo̶: "I'm so worried about Millie."

Blitzo̶: And she's always FIVE FUCKING FEET away from you, it's pathetic!

Moxxie: That was oddly personal.

Blitzo̶: You know what, you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that.

Moxxie: Sir! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo̶: Fuck! The hell is this?

Moxxie: I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum.

Blitzo̶: Oh you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Blitzo̶: Okay uh, does Millie ever peg you?

Moxxie: Sometimes. Wait, ew fuck! Why that?

Blitzo̶: Heh, I knew it.

Moxxie: Well your suit is tacky! Fuck, I'm sorry.

Blitzo̶: How fucking dare you! You have shitty taste in music! I'm sorry!

Moxxie: Shit taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo̶: I lied, I left half way through!

Moxxie: You- you said you loved it!

Blitzo̶: It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly horny cats!

Blitzo̶: Oh god Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you!

Agent Two: This is gonna be a good night!

Blitzo̶: Damn it, Moxxie, this is all your fault!

Moxxie: How is this my fault?

Moxxie: Blitz?

Moxxie: I- I can't see you.

Moxxie: God this smells awful!

Moxxie: What's that music?

Moxxie: Is that you?

Moxxie: Is this a prank, because I swear to Satan...

Blitzo̶: It is no prank, bitch!

Moxxie: Hey! Why do you sound like that?

Blitzo̶: Because you, my precious little bitch boy-

Moxxie: Stop it, Sir.

Blitzo̶: -are tripping balls!

Moxxie: ♫ What? No! How could this be? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge? ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ Yes, bitch! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Not trying to divulge too much, ♫

Moxxie: ♫ but I'm in too deep so first of all: ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Fuck You! ♫

Blitzo̶: What?!

Moxxie: ♫ This is all just typical well two can play at this game of dismay 'cause if you're here causing frustration ♫

Moxxie: ♫ I'm torturing you with your hallucination! ♫

Moxxie: I simply follow your orders, it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical

Moxxie: as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower.

Blitzo̶: Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?

Moxxie: I am simply speaking Satan's plain English

Moxxie: perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time?

Moxxie: And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my-

Moxxie get tuned out

Blitzo̶: Shut up!

Moxxie: ♫ Why do you hurt me so? ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ I know! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why must you push your friends away? ♫ Blitzo: ♫ I push my friends away ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine? ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ I don't know eventually everyone goes! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Cause you're thoughtless, and cruel and you'll end up alone! ♫

Moxxie: In fact, my dear boss, you don't know what you are doing half the time,

Moxxie: and you depend on me and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy.

Blitzo̶: I don't need you, I can do this shit on my own so easily!

Striker: But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo?

Fizzarolli: You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well.

Verosika: Did you still shove away anyone who gets too close,

Verosika: till they resent you for being a selfish shitty shithead?

Stolas: Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

Moxxie: I believe your self-conscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy

Moxxie: but also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir.

Moxxie: Considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you such as myself-.

Moxxie: -Are you worried, I may have enough of it one day as well?

Blitzo̶: Stop fucking talking, all of you!

Stolas: You are going to die alone.

Blitzo̶: ♫ Why, Moxxie, why have you held your true feelings inside? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ I am scared of rejection. ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ Why, Moxxie, why do you have Millie put it in your butt? ♫

Moxxie: It gives me an erectio- Hey!

Blitzo̶: ♫ No need to hide, we accept your true feelings, so promise me - ♫

Moxxie: ♫ That I can do. To be true. ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ To be true. The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty. ♫

Moxxie: Oh.

Blitzo̶: ♫ I've been a jackass, it's true. ♫

Moxxie: ♫ You’ve been a jackass, it's true. ♫

Blitzo̶: ♫ But soon as we're back as ourselves. ♫

Both: ♫ I will be a better friend than I was before. ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Be better at speaking my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind~ And… ♫

Both: ♫ Together we can begin to become…fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. ♫

Millie: Try 1

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo̶: Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me.

Moxxie: I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental,

Moxxie: but you said that because I needed it. And it helped.

Blitzo̶: Look I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox.

Blitzo̶: You care too much about what everyone thinks except for me because, you know,

Blitzo̶: my opinion is correct, but just keep doing a good job, kay?

Blitzo̶: You shoot and kill good, you escape things easy,

Blitzo̶: you could be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to,

Blitzo̶: and don’t expect any more compliments I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo̶: You know my name, use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitz.

Moxxie: There's my Millie!

Blitzo̶: Impressive work, Mills! How did you get here all by yourself?

Blitzo̶: Loony!?

Loona: Get your asses out here before more fuckers show up!

Blitzo̶: Okay I've had 1 too many emotions for today;

Blitzo̶: Guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!

Blitzo̶: Mox, cover me!

Moxxie: Yes, sir!

Blitzo̶: Eat my ass!

Loona: Die motherfuckers! What?

Blitzo̶: I am just so damn prooooud of you Loonie! Smooched

Blitzo̶: Bye sweetie!

Loona: Watch out!

Blitzo̶: Hey Mills!

Millie: Hiya Blitz! Just one sec!

Blitzo̶: Do you need a gun or anything?

Millie: Nah I'm good

Blitzo̶: How about some water?

Millie: Sure!

Millie: Thanks Blitz!

Blitzo̶: No problemy, Millie-Billie.

Blitzo̶: Now who wants some quality time with Daddy?

Blitzo̶: Fore!

Agent One: Why, God, WHY are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo period!?

Agent Two: Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!

Agent One: Damnit you're right.

Agent Two: Look out!

Moxxie: Bitches!!!

Blitzo̶: Hey Moxxie?

Blitzo̶: Oh wow really going for the dick there ain't'cha? Here I got it for ya. Now hold this.

Blitzo̶: Oh yeah, gettin' hard holding this motherfucker.

Moxxie: Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?

Blitzo̶: Wahooooooo! How's that demon scum?

Blitzo̶: Oh shit, c'mon fam lets blow this cock-sicle joint.

Loona: HEY!

Moxxie: Quick! The book!

Loona: Shit! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick!

Blitzo̶: Well shit. Looks like we've milked this weapon dick dry and now we're out of badassery.

Agent Two: Ha! You demons aren’t goin' anywhere now. AH!

DEMON: Who dares threaten my impish little plaything?

Agent One: Who said that?

Agent One: Agent Two?

Agent Two: What's the matter demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?

Blitzo̶: Stolas? Wha- hold on - How did you know that we needed help?

Stolas: I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?

Blitzo̶: Ugh, I'm fine Stolas.

Stolas: Mm. Good.

Stolas: How the FUCK did you get caught by humans?

Stolas: Are you little creatures not being careful up here?

Stolas: You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We don't want that!

Moxxie: They caught us off guard, your highness.

Blitzo̶: Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It’s not gonna happen again, okay?

Stolas: Luckily for you, most don't believe the words of the demon-obsessed lunatics.

Blitzo̶: . They are seen as kooks!

Stolas: Kooks! Such a silly word! Now! let us all return!

Moxxie: Yes please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.

Stolas: Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

Blitzo̶: Well I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?

Stolas: Very much so.

Blitzo̶: Alright, but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps.

Stolas: Oh, please do~

Agent Two: So what now?

Agent One: What now? We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!

Agent One: Nobody in corporate is ignoring this.