Mis-fit: Why we aren’t thriving at work and what to do about it | Moe Carrick | TEDxSanJuanIsland

How can you discover a job that really matches your needs? A job that provides meaning to your life? Moe Carrick discusses how to find a job that feeds your spirit, your mind, and your heart, and provides options if you find yourself in a company or job where you are misfit.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

So, I'm curious.

How many people out there
have ever felt that pit

of dread and anxiety
in your stomach on Sunday night

when you're getting ready
to get back to work on Monday?

A show of hands.

And has anyone here ever had a job

that you actually hated?

A show of hands.

I can relate.

I remember a job that I had

where the cubicle where I worked
in the office building

looked out over a marina.

I was a training specialist
for a large cellular company

on the shores of Lake Washington,

and on sunny days,

people would often wander about the docks

on a break or on a day off.

I would sometimes pull myself
away from my work

and watch them.

I made up stories about them in my head.

I imagined where they lived -

I know it's kind of odd -

their families, and most of all,
their work situation.

I would project onto their happy faces

the kinds of work that happy people did.

I imagined them with bosses
that they respected,

colleagues whom they trusted,

and doing work that mattered.

Eventually, I'd have to pull my eyes away

from the bucolic scene
in front of me, back to my work.

And I would often notice

the big white wall clock above,

and I would watch the minute hand slowly

tick forward towards quitting time.

I was very unhappy at that job.

And the contrast between what I imagined

the people at the marina's lives to be
and what my life had actually become

was stark and vast.

I was very unhappy at that job.

I think my work was probably shoddy,

and I spent a lot of time in hiding
that I'd be caught out as a slacker.

That job might have been perfect
for someone else,

but it was making me miserable.

I was completely and totally mis-fit.

I'm an organizational
development consultant,

which means that I study people
in systems, mostly work,

and I've often asked myself the question:

What would be possible if everyone,

and I do mean everyone,
in every job around the globe,

actually loved their work?

The answer to that question,
with any luck at all,

might permanently alter the relationship
between employer and employee.

In the past 30 years, I have heard
story after story of job misery.

People like Mischa who said,

"It hurt to start a job
with such hope and optimism

only to find myself feeling
undermined, unsupported,

and feeling corrected at every turn."

Or Hank who said,

"Hating your job sucks,
and it consumes you."

When we're simply getting by at work,

our goodness and our gifts
stay completely hidden.

Work matters to us in so many ways
beyond our paycheck.

It impacts our identity,
our physical and emotional wellbeing,

our family relationships,

even our ability to interact
with our community in a healthy way.

And it's not just individuals
who suffer when we're mis-fit.

Undermotivated, unconnected
and unengaged employees

cost companies globally
billions of dollars in accidents,

errors, rework, and lost productivity.

Our global economy demands
that organizations grow

and sustain themselves over time,
and those that don't will fail.

The companies in every sector that make it

need people who come
to work there every day alive.

Nonetheless, despite
our collective knowing

that we as human beings simply do better

when we're happy and thriving at work,

workers today are really not feeling it.

For example, a recent Towers Perrin
study of 35,000 employees

showed that just a mere 17%
felt actively engaged in their jobs.

Gallup's most recent data revealed
that 90% of people they surveyed -

that's 9 out of 10 people -

said they were either disengaged
or actively disengaged with their work.

And millennials were
the least engaged of all.

The Energy Project's recent
Quality of Life survey

revealed that 50%
of the people they spoke with

felt emotionally depleted,

physically drained,

mentally distracted, and lacking
in meaning and purpose.

We can do better, and it's time.

In the 1700s, Scotsman Adam Smith,

considered by many to be the founder
of modern industrial economics,

professed that most of us as people

were motivated mostly
out of self-interest.

But I disagree.

I think as human beings

there's so much more
that motivates us than our pay.

Of course, we need to be compensated.

But I like the way Barry Schwartz
said it in his book "Why we work":

"Most of all, we want work
that's meaningful -

that makes a difference
to other people and ennobles us

at least in some small way."

It's important to remember
that most of the time

we don't receive any training
for how to find a great work-fit.

I mean, we're taught
how to write a resumé

or how to do networking,
but oftentimes -

I don't know about you,
but when I receive a job offer,

I just breathe a sigh of relief
at being wanted,

quickly check the offer,
and set a start date.

Even though often when we take a job,
we think of it as lasting a lifetime,

that's not really how it works.

The needs we have for work-fit
change significantly

over the course of our lives.

What matters in our 20s
is vastly different

than what matters to us
in our work in our 50s.

What if we started thinking
about our work experience

as more of a dynamic journey
to multiple destinations,

rather than a Mecca
that we visit only once?

In fact, most of our children
and grandchildren

aren't going to have
one or two cornerstone careers,

they're going to have 12 or 15
or more job opportunities.

The imperative for being able
to assess work-fit,

a place that brings out
our absolute best,

has never been higher.

But happiness at work is not
the magical result of getting lucky,

although that is often how it feels
when we find a job we love.

Our research has shown
two key elements to finding work-fit,

and the first one is you.

Self-awareness.

The second ingredient to work-fit
is your ability to assess a workplace

as being one that's right for you.

It seems straightforward, right?

These two things, self-awareness

and the ability to assess
an organization from the outside,

is what adds up to a great work-fit.

So, let's start by looking at you.

Self-awareness.

This sounds easier than it actually is.

To deeply know ourselves,

we have to examine our strengths
and our brutal weaknesses.

We have to look at
our motivations and our fears.

It takes vulnerability,
it takes courage, and it takes time.

I remember a blinding newsflash moment
in my own life, of self-awareness.

I was in university,
I was studying to be a journalist,

I wanted nothing more
than to work for a daily periodical.

And I got a job for the school newspaper,

and with my Steno pad in hand
I started scooping stories.

I wrote well, and the feedback
I got was very positive.

The problem I had
was the whole deadline thing.

(Laughter)

I'm kind of hardwired
to be a procrastinator,

and I have a serious case
of FOMO most of the time.

So a great story idea for me on Friday,
by Monday often was boring.

My editor was always writing me
about deadlines.

Despite how painful it was
to let go of a dream I had

for a number of years
of working for a daily paper,

I had to admit that
a deadline-sensitive career,

where deadlines ruled,

was probably not going to be
the best place for me.

That critical moment really helped me
make some better decisions at a young age.

It was a self-awareness moment.

Remember that when we're mis-fit
at work, it's not that we're broken.

Although it often feels that way.

What's often happening
is simply that the alchemy

between us, or you,
and your workplace, is mis-fit.

Remember that just because
a job works really well

at Google or Apple for someone

doesn't mean that you're going
to find a great fit there.

So let's look at part two
of finding a great work-fit:

the ability to assess
a workplace from the outside.

Our research has identified six elements

that matter to most of us
when it comes to work-fit,

and we'll look at them one at a time.

These elements aren't presented
in any particular order,

and even in the course of my life,

the elements have shifted
very much in terms of priority.

You'll probably recognize that
depending on what age group you represent.

The first element we have discovered
is the element of work-fit

that we call meaning.

Meaning has to do
with the extent to which you feel

that what you do matters
to someone or something.

Job fit is the extent to which
your skills and experience

are well-matched to the job
responsibilities that you have

and to your background.

Culture fit happens
when our values and beliefs

really sync up with the professed
and practiced values and beliefs

of the organization where we work.

The fourth is relationship fit,
which is when we actually like

and respect the people
that we work for and with.

Lifestyle fit is that magical
thing that happens

when the way we dream of our life being

actually is supported by the policies
and practices of our employer.

And finally, financial fit
is when we feel we're paid fairly,

and we can make ends meet.

When I graduated from college,
the two elements we talked about the most

were job fit and financial fit.

If you could find a job that paid,
that was a good thing.

But in the past 30 or more years,
the currencies have really shifted,

with culture, meaning, relationship,
and lifestyle elevating in importance.

Let's look at a couple of examples
of how these elements might interplay

during a different stage of life.

Early in my career,
I worked for Christine.

She was well-renowned in our field,
and I respected her greatly.

At first, our relationship
was a match made in heaven -

I was eager to please
and she liked the output.

But over time, cracks
appeared in our relationship.

Her perfectionism
created a culture of fear.

Even newbie mistakes that I made,
she was harshly critical of.

It was just a matter of time before
I noticed I was scanning the want ads

on Sundays - it's how
we did it back then -

to find a different job.

In that situation, that job met
my financial needs in my early 20s.

It had a lot of meaning for me.

I was a drug and alcohol counselor,
and that mattered.

And the lifestyle perfectly suited
the stage of life I was in.

The problem was
my relationship with Christine,

which became broken and fragmented,

that ultimately meant I had to leave.

Let's look at one more example.

In mid-career, I worked
for an organization

that professed to have
very strong family values.

But when I came back
from the birth of my first child,

the long work hours, inflexibility
around start and end times,

and a virtual desert of storytelling
about parents that had succeeded there,

left me feeling very self-conscious

and mis-fit.

My son's first illness required
heartbreaking compromises

to the kind of mother that I wanted to be.

I had felt very fit there
before I was a parent

and completely mis-fit, culturally, after.

That job was perfectly suited
to my experience and my education,

I loved and respected
my boss and my colleagues,

and the financial fit was very high.

But ultimately, the culture
of that organization

did not match the kinds
of needs that I had

and what mattered to me at that stage
of my life as a young mother.

Think about your assessment
of an organization from the outside

as like a detective exercise.

It's a sleuth-like effort to figure out,

can my gifts actually show up here?

Pay attention to how they do things
at that organization,

talk to everyone you can.

Notice how they do things,

and if you think -
against those six elements -

your best would be activated there.

Pay attention as if
your life depended on it

because, after all, the quality
of your life actually does.

I continue to be amazed
at how many people,

when I tell them
what I'm working on with work-fit,

are eager to tell me their story,

often of mis-fit but sometimes of fit.

I love hearing the success stories.

Take John, for example.

John was a professional athlete,

and he also worked
in high-tech in California.

Imagine his delight when he was able
to negotiate with his boss

a way to flex his schedule
so that he could train in the mornings

and work in his field
in the afternoons and evenings,

still supporting his family.

Or take Joanne as an example.

After 25 years in the field
of accounting, working for a big firm,

she was laid off due to downsizing.

It was a devastating blow.

It precipitated a couple of months
of painful self-reflection.

But ultimately, Joanne was able
to find a job for a local nonprofit,

still in financial services,

but they had a mission
that she could really get behind.

She did have to take a small cut in pay,

but it was the perfect
career-capping move for her.

Here's the thing.

Organizations are what they are,
and they're going to do what they do.

In fact, most of them
organically evolve over time.

What makes one company versus another

a great place for you to work
is all about the extent to which

they facilitate you bringing
your absolute best every day.

Now, imagine.

Instead of hustling to prove
to an employer that we're worthy,

that we elevate the importance of work-fit

so that we can thrive
rather than just survive,

I'd invite you to think about then,
what would actually be possible

if every worker, from front-line
to mid-management to senior executive,

actually woke up every day
loving their work?

As Kahlil Gibran once said,
"Work is love made visible."

Let's get to work.

(Applause)