Grooming, virtual abuse? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata
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0:14 - 0:17This is Nina Rodriguez' Facebook profile.
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0:19 - 0:21This person had three different profiles
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0:21 - 0:26and 890 kids between 9 and 13 years old
on their list of friends. -
0:29 - 0:33These are parts of a chat
with one of those kids. -
0:35 - 0:38This is an exact copy of the chat
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0:38 - 0:41and it's part of the case file.
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0:43 - 0:46This kid started sending private photos
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0:46 - 0:48until his family noticed it.
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0:50 - 0:54The police report and
investigation lead to a house. -
0:55 - 0:58This was the girl's bedroom.
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1:00 - 1:05Nina Rodriguez was actually
a 24-year-old man, -
1:05 - 1:08that used to do this with lots of kids.
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1:11 - 1:13Micaela Ortega was 12
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1:15 - 1:17when she went to meet her
new Facebook girl friend -
1:17 - 1:19of her same age.
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1:20 - 1:22"Rochi de River," was her name.
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1:24 - 1:28She actually met Jonathan Luna,
who was 26 years old, -
1:28 - 1:30who, when he was finally caught,
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1:30 - 1:34confessed that he killed her because
the girl didn't want to have sex with him. -
1:37 - 1:39He had four Facebook profiles
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1:40 - 1:43and 1,700 women on his contact list.
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1:45 - 1:4890 percent of them
were less than 13 years old. -
1:50 - 1:53These are two different cases of grooming:
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1:54 - 1:57an adult contacts a kid
through the Internet, -
1:58 - 2:00and by manipulating or lying
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2:00 - 2:02leads that kid to sexual fields.
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2:02 - 2:04From talking about sex
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2:04 - 2:07to sharing private photos,
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2:07 - 2:09recording the kid using a webcam
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2:09 - 2:11or arranging a meeting.
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2:12 - 2:14This is grooming.
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2:14 - 2:17This is happening and it's on the rise.
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2:20 - 2:22The question is, "What will we do?"
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2:22 - 2:25because, in the meantime, kids are alone.
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2:27 - 2:29They finish dinner, go to their rooms,
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2:29 - 2:30close the door,
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2:31 - 2:33take their computer, their cell phones
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2:33 - 2:35and get into a bar,
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2:37 - 2:38into a club.
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2:40 - 2:43Think for one second about
what I've just said; -
2:44 - 2:47they are in a place full of strangers
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2:47 - 2:50in a uninhibited environment.
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2:52 - 2:54Internet broke physical boundaries.
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2:54 - 2:57When we are alone in our bedroom,
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2:57 - 2:58and we go online,
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2:58 - 3:00we're not really alone.
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3:03 - 3:08There are two reasons why
we are not taking care of this -
3:08 - 3:10or at least not in the right way.
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3:11 - 3:16Firstly, we're sure that everything
that happens online is "virtual." -
3:16 - 3:19In fact, we call it "the virtual world"!
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3:21 - 3:23If you look it up,
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3:24 - 3:27something virtual is
something that is not real -
3:29 - 3:32and we use that word
to talk about the Internet; -
3:33 - 3:34something not real.
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3:37 - 3:39And that's the problem with grooming.
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3:39 - 3:40It is real.
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3:42 - 3:47Adults, perverts, use the Internet
to abuse boys and girls -
3:47 - 3:51and take advantage of the fact
that the kids and their parents -
3:51 - 3:55think that what happens there
actually doesn't happen. -
3:57 - 4:03Some years ago, we founded a NGO,
"Argentina Cibersegura" -
4:03 - 4:07that works on bringing awareness
about online safety. -
4:09 - 4:12On 2013, we attended meetings
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4:12 - 4:13at the Chamber of Deputies
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4:13 - 4:15to discuss a law about grooming.
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4:18 - 4:20I remember that most people thought
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4:20 - 4:22that grooming was just the previous step
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4:22 - 4:26to arrange a meeting with
the kids and have sex with them. -
4:28 - 4:31But they didn't think about
what happened with kids -
4:31 - 4:35that were exposed to talk about sex
with an adult, without knowing it, -
4:36 - 4:40sharing private photos thinking
only another kid will see them -
4:40 - 4:41or even worse,
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4:42 - 4:44exposing themselves
using their web cam. -
4:45 - 4:47Nobody saw this as raping.
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4:49 - 4:54I'm sure lots of you find it weird to
think that one person can abuse another -
4:54 - 4:55without physical contact.
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4:56 - 4:58Our mindset is built this way.
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4:59 - 5:01I know, because I used to think the same.
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5:01 - 5:04I was just an information technician
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5:05 - 5:07until this happened to me.
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5:09 - 5:11By the end of 2011,
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5:12 - 5:15in a little town in Buenos Aires,
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5:15 - 5:17I heard about a case for the first time.
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5:19 - 5:20After giving a talk,
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5:21 - 5:26I met the parents of an 11-year-old girl
who had suffered grooming. -
5:28 - 5:30An adult had manipulated her
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5:30 - 5:32into masturbate in front of her web cam
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5:32 - 5:34and had recorded her.
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5:34 - 5:37And the video was on several websites.
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5:39 - 5:41That day, her parents asked us, in tears,
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5:41 - 5:43to tell them
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5:43 - 5:45how to delete those videos
from the Internet. -
5:48 - 5:50That broke my heart,
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5:50 - 5:52and changed me forever,
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5:52 - 5:55being their last disappointment,
telling them it was too late. -
5:55 - 5:58Once content is online,
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5:58 - 6:00we've already lost control.
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6:03 - 6:06Since that day, I think about that girl
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6:07 - 6:10waking up in the morning,
having breakfast with her family, -
6:11 - 6:12which had seen the video,
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6:13 - 6:16and then walking to school, meeting people
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6:16 - 6:18that had seen her naked,
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6:18 - 6:23arriving to school, playing with
her friends, who had also seen her. -
6:24 - 6:26That was her life.
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6:27 - 6:29Exposed.
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6:32 - 6:34Of course, nobody raped her body,
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6:35 - 6:39but hasn't her sexuality been abused?
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6:41 - 6:45We clearly use different standards
to measure physical and digital things. -
6:47 - 6:49And we get angry at social networks
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6:49 - 6:51because being angry with ourselves
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6:51 - 6:53is more painful and more sincere.
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6:55 - 6:59And this takes us to another reason why
we don't take good care of this topic. -
7:00 - 7:02We believe kids
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7:02 - 7:05don't need our help,
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7:05 - 7:07that they "know everything"
about technology. -
7:10 - 7:11When I was a kid,
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7:12 - 7:15my parents at some point started
letting me walk to school alone. -
7:17 - 7:21After walking with them
for many years, -
7:22 - 7:24one day they talked to me,
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7:24 - 7:26gave me the house keys
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7:26 - 7:30and told me: "Be very careful with them,
don't give them to anyone, -
7:30 - 7:34take the road we showed you,
be at home at the time we said, -
7:34 - 7:37cross the street at the corners
and look both ways before you cross, -
7:37 - 7:42and, no matter what,
don't talk to strangers." -
7:43 - 7:45I knew everything about walking,
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7:45 - 7:48however, there was a responsible adult
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7:48 - 7:50taking care of me.
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7:51 - 7:54Knowing how to do something
is not the same -
7:54 - 7:55as doing it safely.
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7:57 - 7:58Imagine this situation:
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7:58 - 8:01I'm 10 or 11 years old,
I wake up in the morning, -
8:01 - 8:03my parents give me the keys and say:
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8:03 - 8:05"Seba, now you can walk to school alone."
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8:06 - 8:08And when I come back late,
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8:09 - 8:13they say, "You should arrive
at the time we said." -
8:15 - 8:17And two weeks later,
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8:17 - 8:20they say, by the way, "You know what?
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8:20 - 8:22You have to cross at the corners
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8:22 - 8:24and look both ways before crossing."
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8:25 - 8:26And two years later:
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8:27 - 8:31"And also, don't talk to strangers."
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8:33 - 8:34It sounds absurd, right?
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8:36 - 8:39We have the same absurd behavior
in relation to technology. -
8:40 - 8:43We give kids total access
and we see if one day, -
8:43 - 8:45sooner or later,
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8:45 - 8:48they learn how to take care of themselves.
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8:49 - 8:51Doing something is not the same
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8:51 - 8:53as doing it safely.
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8:54 - 8:57When we talk to parents,
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8:57 - 8:59they often say
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8:59 - 9:03that they don't care about
technology and social networks. -
9:04 - 9:07I always ask them if they
care about their kids. -
9:08 - 9:10As adults, getting in touch or not
with technology, -
9:10 - 9:13means getting in touch or not
with the kids. -
9:13 - 9:15Internet is part of their lives.
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9:16 - 9:22Technology makes us rethink the
relationship between adults and kids. -
9:23 - 9:26Education was always based
on two main concepts: -
9:26 - 9:29experience and knowledge.
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9:30 - 9:35How can we teach to be safe online
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9:35 - 9:37when we don't have either?
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9:38 - 9:41Today, as adults, we have to guide kids
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9:41 - 9:43on fields that sometimes we don't know,
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9:43 - 9:46and that are more friendly to them.
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9:47 - 9:50It's impossible to find an answer
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9:50 - 9:53without doing new and
uncomfortable things, -
9:53 - 9:55things we're not used to.
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9:57 - 10:00A lot of you may think it's easy for me,
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10:00 - 10:02because I'm quite young,
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10:03 - 10:04and it used to be like this.
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10:05 - 10:06It used to.
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10:08 - 10:09Until last year,
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10:10 - 10:14when I felt the weight
of my age on my shoulders -
10:15 - 10:20the first time I opened Snapchat.
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10:20 - 10:22(Laughter)
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10:23 - 10:25(Applause)
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10:29 - 10:32I didn't understand a thing!
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10:33 - 10:35I found it unnecessary,
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10:36 - 10:39useless, hard to understand;
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10:39 - 10:40it looked like a camera!
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10:41 - 10:42It didn't have a menu!
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10:44 - 10:48It was the first time I felt
the gap that sometimes exists -
10:48 - 10:50between kids and adults.
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10:51 - 10:54But it was also an opportunity
to do the right thing -
10:55 - 10:57and get out of my comfort zone.
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10:59 - 11:02I felt I would never use Snapchat,
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11:02 - 11:05but then I asked my teenage cousin,
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11:05 - 11:07to show me how she used it.
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11:08 - 11:10And also why she used it.
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11:11 - 11:12What was fun about it?
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11:13 - 11:15We had a really nice talk,
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11:16 - 11:18she showed me her Snapchat
and talked about things, -
11:18 - 11:21we got closer, we laughed.
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11:22 - 11:24Today, I use it.
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11:25 - 11:26(Laughter)
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11:27 - 11:28I don't know if I do it right --
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11:28 - 11:33but the most important thing is
that I know it and I understand it. -
11:34 - 11:38The key was to overcome
the first impression, -
11:38 - 11:40and do something new;
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11:42 - 11:43something new.
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11:43 - 11:46Today, we have the chance
to create new conversations. -
11:47 - 11:49Which is the last app you downloaded?
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11:49 - 11:52Which social network do you use
to contact your friends? -
11:53 - 11:55Which kind of information do you share?
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11:56 - 11:59Were you approached by any stranger?
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12:01 - 12:04Could we have these talks
between kids and adults? -
12:05 - 12:07We have to make ourselves do it.
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12:08 - 12:13Today, lots of kids are listening to us.
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12:14 - 12:17Sometimes when we go
to schools to give our talks, -
12:17 - 12:20or through the social networks,
kids ask or tell us -
12:20 - 12:25things they didn't tell
their parents or their teachers... -
12:26 - 12:28They don't even know us.
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12:31 - 12:33Those kids need to know
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12:34 - 12:36which are the risks of being online,
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12:38 - 12:40to take care of themselves
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12:40 - 12:43but also that, as almost everything else,
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12:43 - 12:46they can learn this from any adult.
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12:49 - 12:53Online safety has to be a topic
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12:53 - 12:57in every house and in every classroom.
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12:58 - 12:59We did a survey this year that showed
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12:59 - 13:03that 15 percent of schools said
they knew cases of grooming -
13:03 - 13:05inside the school.
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13:05 - 13:07And this number is growing.
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13:09 - 13:13Technology changed
every aspect of our life, -
13:13 - 13:15including the risks we face
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13:15 - 13:17and how we take care of ourselves.
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13:18 - 13:22Grooming shows us this
in the most painful way, -
13:23 - 13:25messing up with the kids.
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13:27 - 13:29Are we going to do
something to avoid this? -
13:30 - 13:34The solution starts with
something very easy: -
13:34 - 13:36Talking about it.
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13:36 - 13:37Thank you.
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13:37 - 13:38(Applause)
- Title:
- Grooming, virtual abuse? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata
- Description:
-
What is grooming? Sebastián Bortnik tells us some of the risks children and teenagers are exposed to through the use of the Internet and a key to confronting them. Sebastián is an expert in Computer Security and President of Argentina Cibersegura. Is he a hacker? No, he's been engaged in education and research on computer attacks in Argentina from more than ten years.
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- Spanish
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 13:52
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Sebastian Betti approved English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Sebastian Betti accepted English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Romina Pol edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Romina Pol edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata | ||
Romina Pol edited English subtitles for Grooming, el acoso ¿virtual? | Sebastián Bortnik | TEDxRíodelaPlata |