3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do
-
0:01 - 0:04When I was in high school
at the age of 17 -- -
0:04 - 0:07I graduated from high school
in Decatur, Georgia, -
0:07 - 0:09as valedictorian of my high school --
-
0:10 - 0:11I was very proud of myself.
-
0:11 - 0:15I was from a low-income community,
I had grown up in Mississippi, -
0:15 - 0:17we'd moved from Mississippi to Georgia
-
0:17 - 0:22so my parents could pursue their degrees
as United Methodist ministers. -
0:22 - 0:25We were poor, but they didn't think
we were poor enough, -
0:25 - 0:27so they were going for permanent poverty.
-
0:27 - 0:28(Laughter)
-
0:28 - 0:30And so, while they studied at Emory,
-
0:30 - 0:34I studied at Avondale,
and I became valedictorian. -
0:34 - 0:37Well, one of the joys of being
valedictorian in the state of Georgia -
0:37 - 0:40is that you get invited
to meet the governor of Georgia. -
0:41 - 0:43I was mildly interested in meeting him.
-
0:44 - 0:46It was kind of cool.
-
0:46 - 0:49I was more intrigued by the fact
that he lived in a mansion, -
0:49 - 0:52because I watched a lot
of "General Hospital" and "Dynasty" -
0:52 - 0:53as a child.
-
0:53 - 0:55(Laughter)
-
0:55 - 0:59And so I got up that morning,
ready to go to visit the governor. -
0:59 - 1:02My mom and my dad,
who were also invited, got up, -
1:02 - 1:03and we went outside.
-
1:03 - 1:05But we didn't get in our car.
-
1:05 - 1:09And in the South,
a car is a necessary thing. -
1:09 - 1:12We don't have a lot of public transit,
there aren't a lot of options. -
1:12 - 1:14But if you're lucky enough
to live in a community -
1:14 - 1:16where you don't have a car,
-
1:16 - 1:18the only option is public transit.
-
1:18 - 1:19And that's what we had to take.
-
1:20 - 1:22And so we got on the bus.
-
1:22 - 1:25And we took the bus from Decatur
all the way to Buckhead, -
1:25 - 1:30where the Governor's Mansion sat
on this really beautiful acreage of land, -
1:30 - 1:33with these long black gates
that ran the length of the property. -
1:33 - 1:35We get to the Governor's Mansion,
-
1:35 - 1:38we pull the little lever
that lets them know this is our stop, -
1:38 - 1:39we get off the bus,
-
1:39 - 1:42my mom, my dad and I,
we walk across the street. -
1:42 - 1:45We walk up the driveway,
because there are cars coming up, -
1:45 - 1:48cars bringing in students
from all across the state of Georgia. -
1:48 - 1:49So we're walking along the side.
-
1:49 - 1:51And as we walk single file along the side,
-
1:52 - 1:55my mom and dad sandwiching me to make sure
I don't get hit by one of the cars -
1:55 - 1:57bringing in the other valedictorians,
-
1:57 - 1:59we approach the guard gate.
-
1:59 - 2:01When we get to the guard gate,
the guard comes out. -
2:01 - 2:04He looks at me,
and he looks at my parents, -
2:04 - 2:07and he says, "You don't belong here,
this is a private event." -
2:08 - 2:12My dad says, "No, this is my daughter,
Stacey. She's one of the valedictorians." -
2:12 - 2:15But the guard doesn't look
at the checklist that's in his hands. -
2:15 - 2:17He doesn't ask my mom for the invitation
-
2:17 - 2:20that's at the bottom
of her very voluminous purse. -
2:20 - 2:23Instead, he looks
over our shoulder at the bus, -
2:23 - 2:27because in his mind, the bus is telling
him a story about who should be there. -
2:27 - 2:31And the fact that we were too poor
to have our own car -- -
2:31 - 2:33that was a story he told himself.
-
2:33 - 2:35And he may have seen
something in my skin color, -
2:35 - 2:37he may have seen something in my attire;
-
2:37 - 2:39I don't know what went through his mind.
-
2:39 - 2:42But his conclusion was
to look at me again, -
2:42 - 2:43and with a look of disdain, say,
-
2:43 - 2:47"I told you, this is a private event.
You don't belong here." -
2:47 - 2:51Now, my parents were studying to become
United Methodist ministers, -
2:51 - 2:53but they were not pastors yet.
-
2:53 - 2:55(Laughter)
-
2:55 - 2:58And so they proceeded
to engage this gentleman -
2:58 - 3:01in a very robust discussion
of his decision-making skills. -
3:01 - 3:02(Laughter)
-
3:02 - 3:04My father may have mentioned
-
3:04 - 3:07that he was going to spend eternity
in a very fiery place -
3:07 - 3:09if he didn't find my name
on that checklist. -
3:09 - 3:12And indeed, the man checks
the checklist eventually, -
3:12 - 3:14and he found my name,
and he let us inside. -
3:15 - 3:18But I don't remember meeting
the governor of Georgia. -
3:18 - 3:21I don't recall meeting
my fellow valedictorians -
3:21 - 3:23from 180 school districts.
-
3:23 - 3:25The only clear memory I have of that day
-
3:25 - 3:28was a man standing in front
of the most powerful place in Georgia, -
3:28 - 3:31looking at me and telling me
I don't belong. -
3:32 - 3:35And so I decided, 20-some-odd years later,
-
3:35 - 3:38to be the person
who got to open the gates. -
3:38 - 3:42(Cheers)
-
3:42 - 3:46(Applause)
-
3:47 - 3:50Unfortunately, you may have read
the rest of the story. -
3:50 - 3:52It didn't quite work out that way.
-
3:52 - 3:55And now I'm tasked with figuring out:
How do I move forward? -
3:56 - 4:00Because, you see, I didn't just want
to open the gates for young black women -
4:00 - 4:02who had been underestimated
and told they don't belong. -
4:02 - 4:06I wanted to open those gates
for Latinas and for Asian Americans. -
4:06 - 4:10I wanted to open those gates
for the undocumented and the documented. -
4:11 - 4:14I wanted to open those gates
as an ally of the LGBTQ community. -
4:14 - 4:15I wanted to open those gates
-
4:15 - 4:19for the families that have to call
themselves the victims of gun violence. -
4:19 - 4:22I wanted to open those gates wide
for everyone in Georgia, -
4:22 - 4:24because that is our state,
and this is our nation, -
4:24 - 4:26and we all belong here.
-
4:26 - 4:29(Cheers)
-
4:29 - 4:32(Applause)
-
4:34 - 4:38But what I recognized
is that the first try wasn't enough. -
4:39 - 4:42And my question became:
How do I move forward? -
4:42 - 4:47How do I get beyond the bitterness
and the sadness and the lethargy -
4:47 - 4:51and watching an inordinate amount
of television as I eat ice cream? -
4:51 - 4:53(Laughter)
-
4:53 - 4:55What do I do next?
-
4:55 - 4:58And I'm going to do what I've always done.
-
4:58 - 5:01I'm going to move forward,
because going backwards isn't an option -
5:01 - 5:03and standing still is not enough.
-
5:04 - 5:08(Applause)
-
5:08 - 5:11You see, I began my race for governor
-
5:11 - 5:15by analyzing who I was
and what I wanted to be. -
5:15 - 5:18And there are three questions
I ask myself about everything I do, -
5:18 - 5:20whether it's running for office
or starting a business; -
5:20 - 5:23when I decided to start
the New Georgia Project -
5:23 - 5:24to register people to vote;
-
5:24 - 5:27or when I started the latest action,
Fair Fight Georgia. -
5:27 - 5:30No matter what I do,
I ask myself three questions: -
5:30 - 5:31What do I want?
-
5:31 - 5:33Why do I want it?
-
5:33 - 5:34And how do I get it?
-
5:35 - 5:38And in this case, I know what I want.
-
5:38 - 5:39I want change.
-
5:39 - 5:41That is what I want.
-
5:41 - 5:42But the question is:
-
5:43 - 5:45What change do I want to see?
-
5:46 - 5:48And I know that the questions
I have to ask myself are: -
5:48 - 5:51One, am I honest about the scope
of my ambition? -
5:52 - 5:55Because it's easy to figure out
that once you didn't get what you wanted, -
5:55 - 5:58then maybe you should
have set your sights a little lower, -
5:58 - 6:01but I'm here to tell you
to be aggressive about your ambition. -
6:01 - 6:04Do not allow setbacks to set you back.
-
6:04 - 6:07(Applause)
-
6:09 - 6:13Number two, let yourself
understand your mistakes. -
6:13 - 6:15But also understand their mistakes,
-
6:16 - 6:17because, as women in particular,
-
6:17 - 6:19we're taught that if something
doesn't work out, -
6:19 - 6:21it's probably our fault.
-
6:21 - 6:23And usually, there is something
we could do better, -
6:23 - 6:25but we've been told
not to investigate too much -
6:25 - 6:27what the other side could have done.
-
6:27 - 6:29And this isn't partisan -- it's people.
-
6:29 - 6:32We're too often told
that our mistakes are ours alone, -
6:32 - 6:34but victory is a shared benefit.
-
6:34 - 6:37And so what I tell you to do
is understand your mistakes, -
6:37 - 6:39but understand the mistakes of others.
-
6:40 - 6:42And be clearheaded about it.
-
6:42 - 6:45And be honest with yourself
and honest with those who support you. -
6:46 - 6:48But once you know what you want,
-
6:48 - 6:50understand why you want it.
-
6:51 - 6:54And even though it feels good,
revenge is not a good reason. -
6:54 - 6:56(Laughter)
-
6:56 - 6:58Instead, make sure you want it
-
6:58 - 7:02because there's something
not that you should do, -
7:02 - 7:04but something you must do.
-
7:04 - 7:07It has to be something
that doesn't allow you to sleep at night -
7:07 - 7:09unless you're dreaming about it;
-
7:09 - 7:12something that wakes you up in the morning
and gets you excited about it; -
7:12 - 7:14or something that makes you so angry,
-
7:14 - 7:17you know you have to do
something about it. -
7:17 - 7:19But know why you're doing it.
-
7:19 - 7:21And know why it must be done.
-
7:22 - 7:25You've listened to women
from across this world -
7:25 - 7:28talk about why things have to happen.
-
7:28 - 7:30But figure out what the "why" is for you,
-
7:30 - 7:33because jumping from
the "what" to the "do" -
7:33 - 7:35is meaningless if you don't know why.
-
7:35 - 7:38Because when it gets hard,
when it gets tough, -
7:38 - 7:40when your friends walk away from you,
-
7:40 - 7:43when your supporters forget you,
-
7:43 - 7:45when you don't win your first race --
-
7:45 - 7:48if you don't know why,
you can't try again. -
7:48 - 7:50So, first know what you want.
-
7:50 - 7:52Second, know why you want it,
-
7:52 - 7:55but third, know how
you're going to get it done. -
7:55 - 7:58I faced a few obstacles in this race.
-
7:58 - 8:00(Laughter)
-
8:00 - 8:01Just a few.
-
8:01 - 8:02But in the pursuit,
-
8:02 - 8:07I became the first black woman
to ever become the nominee for governor -
8:07 - 8:10in the history of the United States
of America for a major party. -
8:11 - 8:15(Cheers)
-
8:15 - 8:19(Applause)
-
8:19 - 8:21But more importantly, in this process,
-
8:21 - 8:26we turned out 1.2 million
African American voters in Georgia. -
8:26 - 8:27That is more voters
-
8:27 - 8:31than voted on the Democratic side
of the ticket in 2014. -
8:31 - 8:35(Applause)
-
8:35 - 8:38Our campaign tripled the number of Latinos
-
8:38 - 8:41who believed their voices mattered
in the state of Georgia. -
8:41 - 8:43We tripled the number of Asian Americans
-
8:43 - 8:45who stood up and said,
"This is our state, too." -
8:45 - 8:49Those are successes that tell me
how I can get it done. -
8:49 - 8:53But they also let me understand
the obstacles aren't insurmountable. -
8:53 - 8:54They're just a little high.
-
8:55 - 8:57But I also understand
-
8:57 - 9:00that there are three things
that always hold us hostage. -
9:01 - 9:03The first is finances.
-
9:04 - 9:06Now, you may have heard,
I'm in a little bit of debt. -
9:07 - 9:10If you didn't hear about it,
you did not go outside. -
9:10 - 9:11(Laughter)
-
9:12 - 9:15And finances are something
that holds us back so often, -
9:15 - 9:18our dreams are bounded
by how much we have in resources. -
9:19 - 9:20But we hear again and again
-
9:20 - 9:24the stories of those who overcome
those resource challenges. -
9:25 - 9:28But you can't overcome
something you don't talk about. -
9:28 - 9:31And that's why I didn't allow them
to debt-shame me in my campaign. -
9:32 - 9:36I didn't allow anyone to tell me
that my lack of opportunity -
9:36 - 9:38was a reason to disqualify
me from running. -
9:38 - 9:41And believe me, people tried
to tell me I shouldn't run. -
9:41 - 9:43Friends told me not to run.
-
9:43 - 9:45Allies told me not to run.
-
9:45 - 9:48"USA Today" mentioned
maybe I shouldn't run. -
9:48 - 9:49(Laughter)
-
9:49 - 9:50But no matter who it was,
-
9:50 - 9:55I understood that finances are often
a reason we don't let ourselves dream. -
9:56 - 9:59I can't say that you will always
overcome those obstacles, -
9:59 - 10:02but I will tell you,
you will be damned if you do not try. -
10:02 - 10:08(Applause)
-
10:08 - 10:09The second is fear.
-
10:10 - 10:11And fear is real.
-
10:11 - 10:13It is paralyzing.
-
10:13 - 10:14It is terrifying.
-
10:14 - 10:16But it can also be energizing,
-
10:17 - 10:19because once you know
what you're afraid of, -
10:19 - 10:21you can figure out how to get around it.
-
10:21 - 10:23And the third is fatigue.
-
10:24 - 10:27Sometimes you just get tired of trying.
-
10:27 - 10:31You get tired of reading
about processes and politics -
10:31 - 10:34and the things that stop you
from getting where you want to be. -
10:35 - 10:39Sometimes, fatigue means that we accept
position instead of power. -
10:39 - 10:42We let someone give us a title
as a consolation prize, -
10:42 - 10:46rather than realizing we know what we want
and we're going to get it, -
10:46 - 10:47even if we're tired.
-
10:47 - 10:49That's why God created naps.
-
10:49 - 10:51(Laughter)
-
10:51 - 10:54But we also learn in those moments
-
10:54 - 10:59that fatigue is an opportunity
to evaluate how much we want it. -
11:00 - 11:02Because if you are beaten down,
-
11:02 - 11:05if you have worked as hard as you can,
-
11:05 - 11:08if you have done everything
you said you should, -
11:08 - 11:09and it still doesn't work out,
-
11:09 - 11:12fatigue can sap you of your energy.
-
11:13 - 11:15But that's why you go back
to the "why" of it. -
11:16 - 11:19Because I know we have to have women
who speak for the voiceless. -
11:20 - 11:22I know we have to have people
of good conscience -
11:23 - 11:24who stand up against oppression.
-
11:25 - 11:27I know we have to have people
-
11:27 - 11:30who understand that social justice
belongs to us all. -
11:30 - 11:32And that wakes me up every morning,
-
11:32 - 11:34and that makes me fight even harder.
-
11:35 - 11:39Because I am moving forward,
knowing what is in my past. -
11:39 - 11:41I know the obstacles they have for me.
-
11:41 - 11:43I know what they're going to do,
-
11:43 - 11:47and I'm fairly certain they're energizing
and creating new obstacles now. -
11:47 - 11:49But they've got four years
to figure it out. -
11:50 - 11:51(Laughter)
-
11:51 - 11:56(Applause)
-
11:56 - 11:57Maybe two.
-
11:58 - 12:00(Cheers)
-
12:00 - 12:03(Applause)
-
12:03 - 12:04But here's my point:
-
12:05 - 12:08I know what I want, and that is justice.
-
12:08 - 12:09I know why I want it,
-
12:09 - 12:13because poverty is immoral,
and it is a stain on our nation. -
12:13 - 12:15And I know how I'm going to get it:
-
12:15 - 12:17by moving forward every single day.
-
12:17 - 12:18Thank you so much.
-
12:18 - 12:21(Cheers)
-
12:21 - 12:25(Applause)
- Title:
- 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do
- Speaker:
- Stacey Abrams
- Description:
-
How you respond to setbacks is what defines your character, says Stacey Abrams, the first black woman in the history of the United States to be nominated by a major party for governor. In an electrifying talk, she shares the lessons she learned from her campaign for governor of Georgia -- and some advice on how to change the world. “Be aggressive about your ambition,” Abrams says.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 12:38
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene approved English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do |