36 STUPID FEMINIST QUESTIONS ANSWERED

(Beep)

(Screaming)

(Jazzy intro)

How does it feel to be the

same sex as

Donald Trump?

How does it feel to be the

same sex as

Sarah Palin?

How does it feel to be the

same sex as

Michelle Bachman?

How does it feel to be the

Same sex as anybody

you disagree with?

Why does it even matter

whether or not you’re the

same gender as somebody else?

I mean, I’m also the same

gender as Abraham Lincoln, Einstein,

and the guy who introduced

chocolate to the western world.

So what are you even getting

at with this question?

Are you trying to say Donald Trump

is bad, and Donald Trump

is a man, therefore, men are bad?

Why do you hate rom-coms?

Or do you feel like you

need to hate them?

Everybody likes The Notebook,

everybody likes Beyoncé.

It’s just a fact.

Men hate romantic comedies

for the same reason you

hate video games with

over-sexualized female characters.

The men in these movies are

always willing to sacrifice

their careers, their dreams,

even their lives to win

the lead females’ affection.

Now, I don’t have any empirical

data to back this up, but

it seems to me that

romantic comedies and

romance movies in general

cause women to have unrealistic

expectations of men and what

love should be like, and these

become the expectations

that men have to live up to.

And it’s unfair.

Feminists like to bitch

about poor representation of women

in media intended for men

because they promote body issues

and shit like that.

And I agree, to at least an extent,

but it's not any better for men.

when we’re expected to be Prince Charming;

ready and willing to sacrifice themselves

physically, mentally, and emotionally,

and we’re called selfish for daring to

have our own desires,

or even misogynistic for daring to draw

attention to our own problems.

These movies appeal to the female fantasy

of having a knight in shining armor

swear their entire existence to pleasing them,

and thus reinforce these notions within

their target audience of women like you

that you somehow deserve and should expect

to have your boyfriends and husbands

give up everything that makes them who they are

and basically dehumanize themselves

for your pleasure and devote 100%

of their time and energy to you.

The fact that some of you watching

this are scoffing at what I just

said only proves my point.

You have fooled yourselves into

thinking that I'M somehow the one

who's being selfish when I object to

the notion that men should be expected

to cave into all of your demands

for the sake of your perverted,

idealistic conception of love, and I

have no doubts that some of you will

accuse me of being bitter at some ex-girlfriend

for saying that, but I'm not,

and I will pre-emptively characterize

such an argument as out-cropping of

the very mentality that I'm talking about.

You expect all of your demands to be

catered to,

and any man who is unwilling

or unable to cater to them must

have something wrong with THEM.

Us men are human beings with

our own interests and goals, and it's

selfish for you to expect us to give all

that up for you. But these movies condition

you to expect exactly that, and that is

why we hate romantic comedies. We don't see

anything romantic about them. What we see

is the reinforcement of unfair

and unreasonable expectations about what we

should be doing with our own lives.

Also, f*** Beyonce.

Why do you make women sit around

and talk about men in movies,

when ya'll easily just sit around and

talk about boobs, for HOURS?

One: I don't know. Maybe you

should be asking the

people who write the romantic comedies

you like so much, because those

are the movies which have

women sitting around, talking about

men. Or better yet,

instead of complaining

about how writers depict women

in their movies, maybe you should

try being the change you

want to see, and write your

own damn movie. Then, you could

make the females characters sit around

and talk about whatever you want,

like how men are oppressing them,

or how men are objectifying them,

or how men are such pigs, or

how men spread their legs too far

apart on the subway, or how

men hate romantic comedies.

There's nothing stopping you.

Two: You're referring to the

Bechdel test, which is bulls**t.

All the Twilight movies pass

the Bechdel test, but I think you'd

hesitate to call any of those movies

pro-feminist.

Three: I don't know a single guy

who ever talks about boobs for hours

at a time. I think the only guys who do

are medical students learning how

to conduct mammograms.

You want to know what most of the men

I know talk about? Movies,

video games, politics, religion,

music, sports, cars, boats,

technology, work, guns, hunting,

places they've been to,

people they've met, and so on.

The subject of boobs actually

rarely ever comes up.

Contrary to what you may have

been told in your Women's Studies

class, men don't think

about sex constantly. If we did,

we would never have invented

the camera equipment you used

to make this video.

Four: If anybody is talking about

boobs for hours at a time, it's

feminists. You're the ones who

are always whining about the designs

of fictional characters, complaining

that Batgirl's tits are too big.

In all honesty, the only

time I ever even think about

a comic book character's tits is

when I hear a feminist bring it up,

so I think, maybe, you're projecting.

Why do you automatically assume

that you won't like TV or movies

that star a female lead?

We don't. In fact, some of my

favorite movies and TV shows

have female leads. I don't know a

single man who has ever scoffed at

the notion of watching a movie

or TV show just because it has

a female protagonist. However,

I have seen feminists scoff

at anything with a male lead.

Why are you surprised when women

are funny?

I'm probably funnier

than you!

I'm not surprised when women are funny.

There are plenty of funny women out

there; Shoe0nHead, etc.

But, I will say that women in general

are not as funny as men, and I

think most women will agree with

that statement. I also think

there's a reason for this. See,

if you understand what humor is

and how it works, which I'm guessing

you don't, because you're feminists, then

you know that the things that make people

laugh often have their roots in very dark

subject matter. To quote "The Amazing Atheist,"

"These people who are f***ing offended

by rape jokes don't even understand humor!

They don't under- they think that humor is

like, a happy thing, because humor makes

us laugh, and laughter makes us happy!

But a lot of the times, they don't seem to

notice that what we're actually laughing at

is quite dark and morbid. Like, if you

actually look at it and examine the jokes,

and look at the exaggeration and try to figure

out the mechanics of how the joke works,

why does it work, you're gonna find that

a lot of jokes have their Genesis in

pain and suffering. Because laughter

is this great, transcendent tool we have

where we can take something that's-

that's bitter and difficult to comprehend

or deal with, and make it something funny.

Like if I take a joke like 'how many police

officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for

being black,' you know, that joke

has its genesis in some very serious,

very dark s***, and that joke is not making

light of the fact that people have suffered,

or its not making light of the fact that

people, you know, marched in the

Civil Rights Movement, or that people

are racially discriminated against, or

police brutality- it's not making light

of any of that. What it's doing is

it's taking that pain, and it's taking

that dark subject matter, and it's

helping us transcend it for a moment,

and view the absurdity of our circumstance

because that is what humor is supposed

to do. Humor at its best takes

the elements of the world that are

dark and horrible and shows your their

obsurdity. It shows you the absurdity

of the human condition, and that is

important."

See, men are socially conditioned to

not talk openly and honestly about their

feelings, which I will talk

more about later, and that's why

we cultivate a sense of humor.

The only way we can really talk

about the things that upset us is if

we do it through the filter

of comedy, but women have the

privilege to not be subject to such

social conditioning, and so they

don't feel the need to cultivate

a sense of humor, and that's why women,

in general, aren't as funny as men.

That isn't to say that all men are funny,

or that all women are unfunny. It's

just that, in general, men are

funnier than women. I'm sorry,

but that's how it is. Also, no.

I rather strongly doubt that

you're funnier than me, and it's not

because you're a woman. Just judging

by how you look and talk, I'm willing to

bet that your sense of humor

boils down to saying something

rude, and then following it

with "just kidding." I mean,

I'm not the funniest person in

the world, but if you think of yourself

as "the funny one," you probably lack

the objectivity to realize that

everybody else in your circle of

friends probably thinks

of you as the annoying one.

Just kidding! Actually, I'm not.

Why do you think that we're

obsessed with you when we

hook up? Nine times out of ten,

I just want you to leave too; I'm busy,

I got s*** to do.

Probably because you do s***

like text us 50 times in the space

of one hour and slash our tires

when we dump you after

you accuse us of cheating

because you saw our sister's name

in our call history. Also,

what s*** could you possibly have

to do, pluck your eyebrows to the

point where they're so unnaturally

clean around the edges that

they look like they're drawn on?

Spend your husband's money on more

frumpy sweaters? Buy a tub of

Ben and Jerry's and watch Glee?

Or write more lame questions

for men to answer because you're

so lacking in self-awareness that you

can't figure out the answers for

yourself?

Why can't I sleep with as many

people as I want to without

being judged?

When men do it, they're congratulated.

Go ahead and sleep with as

many people as you want.

I don't give a s***, and,

once again, I don't know anybody

who would. The only time I would

care is if I was dating you,

because if you told me you've been

with 20 other guys before

I met you, I would naturally assume

that there's something wrong

with you if you've been in so

many relationships

and had them all fail.

Not to mention the fact that you're

substaintially more likely to be carrying

an STD, and I think it's perfectly

reasonable for a woman to view men

who have slept with a lot of other women

the same way.