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Guess what happened?
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What I felt was in the cards.
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The Marble Faun is moving in.
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He just gave us the washing machine.
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That cements the deal.
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I can't bear it, I'm telling you.
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[Roiling piano]
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[Sings] It's my mother's house
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in my mother's name
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and you can't beat mother
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at mother's game.
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'Cause she likes the people
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who I don't like,
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and if I don't like it,
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it's "take a hike!"
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Which is mother's way
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of reminding me
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when you live off mother,
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you can't be free.
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And, I think that mother
is very mean,
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and this latest thing,
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with this washing machine,
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the one Jerry brought...
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don't be too surprised
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if a guy moves in,
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and I'm pulverized.
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'Cause I'll be damned
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if I'm gonna waste my time
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washing clothes
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in a [bleep] machine.
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[Piano flourish]
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[Spoken] I feel very strongly
about mementos.
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Memorabilia, I guess you call it.
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[Sweetly sings] Around the world
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is what I call
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my wall of
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special things.
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Around the world
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with rose bouquets,
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I dried, and tied
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on strings.
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A silver mask
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from a masquerade.
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Around and round
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I twirl.
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You tack them up
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so you can twirrrrl
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around the worrrrrld.
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[Piano intensifies]
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It's my mother's house
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with my mother's friends
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and with Jerry coming
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it never ends.
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It's the same old story
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as George Gould Strong.
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Not in twenty years
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did we get along!
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Though I do feel bad
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about the way he died:
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in a two-bit fleabag,
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a suicide.
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It was mother's money,
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the Bouviers.
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And if mother spends it
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in crazy ways,
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no one else took care of her,
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only me!
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She was taken care of!
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Not sexually.
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And if you infer
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that they were using her,
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I will shove you under
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the [bleep] bed.
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[Piano flourish]
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[Sweetly sings]
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Around the world
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with stones and shells
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the nicest one I lost.
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Around the world
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without a boat,
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or just a quote from Frost.
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"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,"
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A lovely crossing on.
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Around the world,
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the world around
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the attic wall.
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Around the worrrrld
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there isn't room
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for every special thing.
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Around the world,
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you choose a few
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to make the music sing.
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A silver mask
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from a masquerade,
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around and round
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I twirl.
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You tack them up,
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so when you go,
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the world will be
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the one you know.
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A bird cage I plan to hang;
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I'll get to that
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some day.
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A bird cage
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for a bird
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who flew awayyyy.
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Around the world.
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[Sweet piano]
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[Applause]