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[cheers and applause] >> Thank you.
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Thank you very much.
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Thank you so much.
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Thank you very much.
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All right.
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Washington, d.c.
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Thank you so much for coming out
to the taping for my second stand-up special.
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[cheers and applause]
Very excited to be here.
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Before we start the show,
I know there's probably
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some signs up saying,
no photos and things of that nature,
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and that's just because
obviously we're taping this.
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And also, when I do these shows,
people can start taking photos,
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and there'll be a lot of
flashing and orange lights,
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and it can be a little distracting
when I'm trying to focus on the performance.
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But what I've realized is that people don't give a shit,
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and they take photos anyway,
because there are some shitty people
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that come to these shows.
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An, look how many e.
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Some of you are shitty people.
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There's no question.
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If we met in any other context
besides you paying me money
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to see me tell jokes, I'm sure there are some
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of you I would hate with a passion.
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No question about it.
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I really hate some of you a lot.
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So what I thought we could do as a compromise--
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right now, before I start the show,
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I understand people like photos and stuff,
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so right now, before we start the show,
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I'm gonna pretend like
I'm in the middle of a joke,
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and you can take as many photos as you want,
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er that, we'll have a great show, okay?
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So here we go.
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If you want to snap a photo, go for it.
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Some fake joke where I need to go through a crawlspace.
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Let's act like--let's act like an incident
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happened with an audience member.
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Like, sir, could you stand up and
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act like you're yelling at me about something?
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So you can show that photo
to people and tell 'em, eah,
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at one point in the show,
this guy just stood up and was like,
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'whites are ' and aziz was like,
'whoa, that's not cool, sir.
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'" all right, cool.
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Everybody good with photos and everything?
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Thank you so much for coming out.
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I really appreciate you coming out.
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Thank you so much.
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I live, uh--i live ..
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[audience cheers] And--yes.
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And I'm single right now, and--
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[audience cheers] Oh, shut up.
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You don't mean that shit.
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And whenever I go out to bars there,
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I have this one friend of mine.
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He's he's like, "aw, man.
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Any cute girl you see,
just go talk to her, man.
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What's gonna happen?
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What's gonna happen?
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What's gonna happen?