What's the destiny of the characters we create? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo
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0:15 - 0:17Hi everyone!
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0:17 - 0:20It's Mauro Sousa speaking.
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0:20 - 0:23I have a story to tell you,
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0:23 - 0:25a story that is really important to me.
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0:26 - 0:30I call this story "Mariana's Destiny."
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0:31 - 0:34This story started in my mother's womb -
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0:34 - 0:36yes, when I was inside her womb -
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0:37 - 0:39and, according to her,
I was in a position -
0:39 - 0:44where the ultrasound couldn't identify
whether I was a boy or a girl. -
0:44 - 0:49She got just one ultrasound test
throughout her whole pregnancy. -
0:49 - 0:54So, until that moment,
I was a huge question mark for them. -
0:54 - 0:59But as my father was coming
from having six daughters before me - -
0:59 - 1:02six female children -
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1:03 - 1:05they were almost certain
I'd be the seventh, right? -
1:05 - 1:10So, even not knowing for sure,
that's what they were anticipating. -
1:10 - 1:14That's why, until the day I was born,
my name was Mariana. -
1:15 - 1:19My parents had not only decided
that my name would be Mariana, -
1:19 - 1:24but they were also picturing
Mariana's destiny: -
1:24 - 1:29"She'll have a great childhood,
good education, good college degree, -
1:29 - 1:31she'll work -
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1:31 - 1:34so long as she keeps
the family business going - -
1:34 - 1:38she'll get married, have children,
and she'll live happily ever after." -
1:39 - 1:44It's worth mentioning that my parents
could afford to plan that for a daughter. -
1:44 - 1:47So that was from the perspective
of an economically privileged family. -
1:48 - 1:50Mariana, in this story,
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1:50 - 1:53represents exactly
all of those expectations -
1:53 - 1:56that had been built up for me
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1:56 - 1:58before I had even been born, you know.
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1:58 - 2:02So Mariana was a prototype;
she was the role model. -
2:02 - 2:04Because I'll tell you what, folks:
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2:04 - 2:07being unsure about something
is always uncomfortable. -
2:07 - 2:11So we come up with names, answers,
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2:11 - 2:13we develop theories,
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2:13 - 2:16we create characters, or gods -
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2:16 - 2:20all because we're afraid of the unkown.
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2:20 - 2:22So that's how Mariana was created.
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2:23 - 2:26The year was 1986,
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2:27 - 2:32and the world's reality
already dictated pattens to be followed. -
2:32 - 2:35Brazil had just been through
the dictatorship regime, -
2:35 - 2:39so sexism was already around,
dominating the collective unconscious. -
2:40 - 2:44Not that it's different now,
but at that time, it was worse. -
2:44 - 2:48AIDS was spreading around the world
as the "gay cancer." -
2:49 - 2:52Madonna was at the top of the charts,
breaking down taboos. -
2:52 - 2:55Denim jean outfits were everywhere.
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2:55 - 2:57The economy was weak.
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2:58 - 3:01And "Turma da Mônica"
was booming, you know. -
3:01 - 3:04The trademark that my father,
Mauricio de Sousa, had created -
3:04 - 3:07already was nationally known.
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3:08 - 3:11It was already putting out books, comics,
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3:11 - 3:14films, products, even TV shows -
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3:14 - 3:17that is, it was a success, an empire.
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3:17 - 3:21My father was already a reference
as an enterprising artist. -
3:21 - 3:26And there I was - or rather, Mariana -
amidst all of that, -
3:26 - 3:27about to be born.
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3:28 - 3:33And there's something unique
about this story, my story - -
3:33 - 3:36I think, by the way, that that's why
I'm here giving this TEDx talk. -
3:37 - 3:42Because I was born
to Mauricio de Sousa's family, -
3:42 - 3:45I'm one of the characters
in "Turma da Mônica." -
3:45 - 3:49So everyone already knew who I was,
without me having to do anything. -
3:49 - 3:54What I am, what I do, what I say
carries weight in itself, -
3:54 - 3:57and people's expectations
about me are already high, -
3:57 - 4:01just to live up to this position
of "the son of Mauricio". -
4:02 - 4:05It's like I'm a high jump athlete
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4:05 - 4:08whose goal is to jump higher
than everyone else, -
4:08 - 4:11except that instead of starting
with the bar set low -
4:11 - 4:13and gradually going higher,
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4:13 - 4:16the bar I had to jump over was high
from the very beginning. -
4:16 - 4:20So I had to be someone already,
even though I wasn't, yet. -
4:21 - 4:22But the question is:
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4:23 - 4:28is it a burden or a gift
to have your destiny plotted for you? -
4:29 - 4:32Then, finally, I was born!
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4:32 - 4:33"It's a boy! It's a boy!"
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4:33 - 4:37the doctor shouted,
grabbing me from my mother's womb. -
4:38 - 4:40My father was holding a camera,
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4:40 - 4:42one of those old cameras,
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4:42 - 4:45and he was so thrilled
that he dropped the camera - -
4:45 - 4:46and that was recorded.
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4:47 - 4:50But then, I wasn't Mariana.
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4:50 - 4:54I wasn't what they
had dreamed about for nine months. -
4:54 - 4:56Not that that was a problem,
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4:56 - 5:02but, still, that was kind of
the first deconstruction of myself. -
5:02 - 5:04And at that moment,
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5:04 - 5:08this new gender didn't change
the course of things much -
5:08 - 5:11because as it turned out, as a little kid,
I could already speak English, -
5:11 - 5:13I already played sports,
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5:13 - 5:16I already played musical instruments,
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5:16 - 5:17I studied in the best schools,
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5:17 - 5:19I was healthy -
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5:19 - 5:22all of this so that I could be
that perfect person, -
5:22 - 5:24just like Mariana.
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5:24 - 5:28I'm so grateful for all those
opportunities that I was provided with, -
5:29 - 5:32but I wasn't Mariana.
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5:32 - 5:33And then?
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5:34 - 5:40Then Mariana became
my own unconscious judge, -
5:40 - 5:42like that tiny little devil
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5:42 - 5:46or that tiny little ghost
speaking in your ears or your mind, -
5:46 - 5:51sentencing you if you deviate
from the norms of the system. -
5:51 - 5:53After all, I was predestined.
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5:54 - 5:57So even when I was still very little,
I already had to face dos and don'ts. -
5:57 - 6:00At eight, nine years old, for example,
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6:00 - 6:03I loved to play with Barbie dolls,
with my sister Marina. -
6:03 - 6:06So, I would comb their hair,
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6:06 - 6:08I would change their clothes,
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6:08 - 6:10I would do "fashion shows" -
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6:10 - 6:12to me, that was awesome -
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6:12 - 6:17but I would play secretly
because Mariana already reprimanded me: -
6:17 - 6:20"Boys play with toy cars."
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6:20 - 6:24It might sound like a silly example,
like a minor thing, -
6:24 - 6:26but to me, it wasn't.
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6:27 - 6:29The conflict between wanting to play,
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6:29 - 6:34not allowing myself to,
and not understanding exactly why -
6:34 - 6:37made me become a child
who was much more insecure, -
6:37 - 6:40more isolated, and more frustrated -
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6:40 - 6:42and no kid deserves that.
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6:43 - 6:46I really believe in free childhood.
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6:46 - 6:48I couldn't even be fat.
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6:48 - 6:52At the age of 12, I already weighed
more than what I weigh today. -
6:53 - 6:54So I'd wear baggy clothes.
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6:54 - 6:58I'd tie sweatshirts around my waist
like this to hide it, even in the summer. -
6:59 - 7:00I would -
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7:00 - 7:02Well,
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7:02 - 7:05I wanted to be like the Barbie dolls,
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7:06 - 7:08that were thin and blonde.
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7:08 - 7:10And Mariana would confirm that.
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7:10 - 7:14She'd say, "Mauro, you've got to be thin."
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7:14 - 7:20By playing with the dolls,
I would magically become them, -
7:20 - 7:23since being myself
wasn't that interesting. -
7:24 - 7:27It was around that time,
at about the age of 12, -
7:27 - 7:29that I realized that I was gay.
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7:29 - 7:33As homosexuality wasn't discussed
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7:33 - 7:37in schools, on TV, at home, anywhere -
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7:37 - 7:41or rather, it was discussed,
but always in a pejorative way - -
7:41 - 7:43that was how I felt,
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7:43 - 7:45like an embarrassment.
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7:45 - 7:48I felt sorry for myself.
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7:48 - 7:51Although I hadn't been born
to a religious family, -
7:51 - 7:54and hadn't had a religious
or confessional education - -
7:54 - 7:56in a country that is religious though -
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7:56 - 7:59Mariana would warn me,
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7:59 - 8:02"God created man and woman.
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8:02 - 8:05Gays can't raise a family,
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8:05 - 8:06can't procreate -
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8:06 - 8:08it's a sin."
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8:08 - 8:12That's what it was like for me
until I turned 18. -
8:12 - 8:16That was when I finally came out
to my family and to my friends. -
8:16 - 8:19So years of lies had passed,
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8:19 - 8:21years of pain,
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8:21 - 8:25of hiding, of living in the closet.
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8:26 - 8:27I envied Mariana.
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8:28 - 8:30I hated her.
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8:31 - 8:32But what I didn't know
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8:32 - 8:35was that while I
was figuring out the world, -
8:36 - 8:39my parents were figuring me out.
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8:39 - 8:43Unlike me, they already saw Mauro.
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8:43 - 8:46They no longer saw Mariana,
especially my mother. -
8:46 - 8:49Always very attentive and sensitive,
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8:49 - 8:52she'd been watching me for a long time,
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8:53 - 8:56and she'd been waiting
for the right moment to talk to me. -
8:56 - 9:00I remember it quite well;
it was a Sunday night. -
9:01 - 9:02I was really sad.
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9:02 - 9:07She noticed it, and she seized
that moment of my frailty -
9:07 - 9:10to take the initiative to talk with me.
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9:10 - 9:11She told me ...
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9:12 - 9:14She told me she knew everything:
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9:14 - 9:16that she knew I was gay;
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9:16 - 9:19that she knew that
I'd been dating Márcio, my ex; -
9:20 - 9:24and that she loved me,
exactly the way I was. -
9:24 - 9:27Then she hugged me,
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9:28 - 9:31and I plunged into her arms,
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9:31 - 9:32in tears,
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9:34 - 9:36tears of liberation,
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9:36 - 9:38of relief,
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9:38 - 9:40of happiness,
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9:40 - 9:41of love.
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9:42 - 9:46If God exists, she is my mother.
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9:47 - 9:49She saved my life.
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9:49 - 9:51She gave me a future.
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9:51 - 9:54That was the most important day of all
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9:56 - 10:00because since then,
I've been able to express my feelings, -
10:01 - 10:03my ideas, myself.
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10:03 - 10:05I was born again,
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10:05 - 10:10and that was when Mariana,
the villain, was defeated. -
10:11 - 10:16Because it's amazing, folks,
how sexuality guides our lives, -
10:16 - 10:18much more than we can imagine,
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10:18 - 10:20for the good or the bad,
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10:20 - 10:25and family support is what guides us
in the right direction. -
10:26 - 10:30Sexuality and family have to be in tune.
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10:30 - 10:34As soon as my family and I aligned,
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10:34 - 10:39all of a sudden, very quickly,
I became a superhero -
10:39 - 10:41to myself.
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10:41 - 10:45When I thought I should behave
in a certain way, -
10:45 - 10:49I had the courage to have doubts,
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10:49 - 10:50to be vulnerable,
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10:50 - 10:52to be contradictory,
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10:52 - 10:54to be "imperfect."
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10:55 - 10:58I allow myself to like Barbies,
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10:58 - 11:00I allow myself to eat without guilt,
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11:00 - 11:03I allow myself to be effeminate.
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11:03 - 11:07I allow myself, as an entrepreneur,
to be more unattached from labels, -
11:08 - 11:11and I'm very proud of my origins.
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11:11 - 11:14I'm very proud of working with my family.
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11:14 - 11:15In other words,
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11:16 - 11:19despite everything that happened -
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11:20 - 11:22I'm getting a little emotional.
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11:23 - 11:28All these considerations, though,
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11:28 - 11:32have a daily impact
on all the aspects of my life, -
11:32 - 11:34from my professional life -
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11:34 - 11:37I'm now the director
of the department of shows, -
11:37 - 11:41presentations, and amusement parks
in my father's company. -
11:41 - 11:46Of course, in addition to the projects
related to my department, -
11:46 - 11:52I've also been engaged in bringing in
this culture of diversity and inclusion, -
11:52 - 11:55of deconstruction and innovation.
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11:56 - 11:58This is in the hope that we can be,
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11:58 - 12:03for the families
and the children who like us, -
12:03 - 12:07the role model and the reference
that I didn't have growing up. -
12:07 - 12:11Of course it also impacts
my personal life, my love life, -
12:11 - 12:13with Rafael, my husband,
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12:13 - 12:16with whom I've been together
for 13 years now, -
12:16 - 12:22and with whom I have
a perfectly imperfect life. -
12:23 - 12:27And that was how Mariana's story ended.
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12:27 - 12:31My evolving was the weapon
I used against her -
12:32 - 12:34because I believe -
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12:34 - 12:38and it might sound romantic,
but I'd rather see it as optimism - -
12:38 - 12:40I believe in evolving.
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12:40 - 12:43I do think that we are better today
than we were yesterday, -
12:43 - 12:45and that we'll be better tomorrow,
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12:45 - 12:50including when it comes
to respecting individualities, -
12:51 - 12:55because evolving
is inherent in us as humans, -
12:55 - 12:58and denial is like
shooting yourself in the foot. -
12:58 - 13:01Not that I don't keep
creating projections of myself -
13:01 - 13:03and living for them.
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13:03 - 13:07I still get a little confused
about who I really am, -
13:07 - 13:09in terms of whether what I am is genuine
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13:09 - 13:12or if I'm just following social pressure
over what I need to be, -
13:13 - 13:17but at least, it's not Mariana anymore.
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13:17 - 13:18That one's gone.
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13:19 - 13:21Now I create other characters,
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13:21 - 13:26maybe Cláudias or Robertos or Marias.
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13:27 - 13:29How about you?
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13:29 - 13:34What's the destiny of the characters
that you create for yourselves? -
13:35 - 13:36Thank you.
- Title:
- What's the destiny of the characters we create? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo
- Description:
-
Mauro Sousa is an actor, trained musician, entrepreneur, screenwriter, producer, and director. As Mauricio de Sousa's 8th child, he was the inspiration for the character Nimbus, from "Turma da Mônica," a popular Brazilian comic book series. Today, he is in charge of "Live Experience," by Mauricio de Sousa Produções. Besides his work as an entrepreneur and an artist, Mauro has been contributing by raising awareness around the subjects of diversity and inclusion.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- Portuguese, Brazilian
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 13:54
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe approved English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe accepted English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for Qual o destino das personagens que criamos? | Mauro Sousa | TEDxMacedo |