Love, sex and dating are often venerated as "the ultimate goal of life". However, how much of our quest for love is about avoiding being with ourselves? About facing reality? About creating our own direction? And, in running away from ourselves in love, do we ultimately avoid the work needed to return to selfhood that will actually bring us happiness?

Hayley Quinn is the UK’s leading Dating Expert and has helped 100,000’s of men and women re-think their love lives.

A graduate in English and Psychoanalysis from UCL, Hayley set up her own company as a reaction to encountering the pickup artist culture and working as a ghost writer for characters from the New York Times bestseller "The Game."

An advocate of real life dating skills she’s used her websites (http://www.hayleyquinn.com/hayleyquinn.com), and her online members' clubs to show people that there’s more to life than meeting someone than Tinder.

She’s been a featured expert for numerous international TV shows and has had a Channel 4 Cutting Edge documentary "BiCurious Me" based around her explorations into sexuality and relationships. She has also written for "Cosmopolitan," "The Independent" and "The Telegraph", and regularly provides social experiment vlogs to news sites.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx