All the lonely people | Karen Dolva | TEDxArendal

Loneliness is prevalent in the world, even in some of the countries known to be the happiest. Listen to Karen Dolva talk about the issues that led to the co-founding of her company, No Isolation.

Karen Dolva is the CEO and co-founder of No Isolation. Her background is in UX/interaction design and informatics, and she previously co-founded the consultancy company UX Lab. With her co-founders, Marius Aabel and Matias Doyle, she has grown No Isolation to 36 employees, built AV1 for children with long-term illness, expanded sales into five countries and started development of a senior product in less than two years. No Isolation’s goal is to help as many people as possible to move out of social isolation and loneliness by making technology available for those who can not just use generic solutions to stay connected.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

If I had died at 22,

it would have taken weeks
before anyone would have noticed

because at 22, I was studying,

I lived on my own,

and I'd pulled myself away from everyone
without anyone really noticing.

The next minutes will not be about me;

it will, however, be about the work
that I'm trying to do.

Because two years ago,
I decided to put an end to loneliness.

The loneliness that I and my co-founders
had experienced in our own lives

was enough for us to quit our jobs
and start a company called No Isolation.

We had no idea
of what we were getting into

and how big the issue really was.

And I don't think that you do either.

Loneliness is not just a sad feeling
that we need to get rid of

because we want people
to be slightly more happy.

Loneliness is dangerous.

People suffering from loneliness
are in a constant fight-or-flight mode,

a stress mode very much equal
to the one I'm experiencing right now,

only there's a huge difference

between me experiencing this
for a couple of minutes now

and living with it for years.

These increased stress levels
lead to a number of things,

but there are some consequences
that are more severe than others.

Several studies have shown

that feeling lonely results
in a 29% increased risk of heart disease.

Feeling lonely also increases the risk
of having a stroke by 32%.

You might not believe it,
but when it comes to heart disease,

loneliness is a bigger killer
than obesity.

So, If we could do
our own mini experiment:

all of you can raise your hand,

and please keep it there
until told otherwise.

So think about the feeling
of being all alone,

[what] it is like to not have anyone
you feel you can talk to

or reach out to in a moment.

Now everyone who
has never had that feeling

can [put] their hands down.

Good. So all of us - it's okay.

So all of us have experienced loneliness.

But 16% of the Norwegian population

reports that they're being haunted
by loneliness every day.

And that's in Norway.

According to the United Nations,
we're the happiest country in the world!

And still, 16% is 800,000 people
in this tiny country alone

that feel like they have no one
to talk to on a day-to-day basis.

And when you consider
how big of a taboo loneliness actually is,

it gets worse because people
do not willingly admit to being lonely,

meaning that 16 [%] is probably too low.

The relationship between age
and loneliness is shaped like a U.

The youngest and the oldest generations
are the most lonely generations.

And while most research
is focused on the seniors,

the amount of lonely young people
is severely underestimated.

It should be no surprise to anyone here

that lonely children, teenagers
and young adults perform worse at school,

are more depressed

and experience more suicidal thoughts
than their socially connected peers.

And then there are children
suffering from long-term illness -

and with long-term illness, I mean
ME and CP and cancer and heart failure,

all of these diagnoses -

and they're particularly exposed
to being socially isolated and lonely.

They lose their place in society
with their diagnosis.

It's not always easy
to find their way back.

I didn't realize
how important this issue was

until I met a woman named Anna.

14 years before I met her,

one of her twin daughters
was diagnosed with a form of cancer.

And Cornelia lost her life

after having spent two years
moving in and out of various hospitals.

But when Cornelia passed away,

Anna looked back
on the previous two years

with grievance

because the worst thing

had not been the diagnosis
or the treatments or the pain

but the fact that her teenage daughter
became isolated from her friends

and her normal life.

A 13-year-old girl is a 13-year-old girl,

and no diagnosis in the world
can take away her social needs.

But an illness

will definitely get in the way
of her acting upon those needs.

So let's move on
to something slightly less heavy.

I guess that all of you
have heard of Tinder.

It's a dating app.

Yep.

I have a theory that Tinder
has actually done more for public health

than we give them credit for.

We could discuss it forever

because despite Tinder doing
the very best job they can,

more people than ever before are single.

And that is actually a huge problem.

Because the single strongest predictor
for loneliness is not your age;

it is whether or not
you're in a relationship.

As a single woman, I'm four times
more likely to be haunted by loneliness

than women who are in a relationship.

But the silver lining

is that in this matter,
I'm very lucky to be a girl

because that guy - he is ten times
more likely to be haunted by loneliness

than his mates who are in relationships.

And yes, it is a fact

that single people are more miserable
than those who are hitched.

You would think that by 2017

we would have figured out
how to properly connect people.

But it looks like
we're getting worse at it.

Loneliness has become a pandemic.

It does not discriminate on age
or gender or borders.

It happens all over the world,

and it happens most frequently
to those of us who are already vulnerable.

As I said in the beginning -
I don't think I can stress this enough -

the constant flight-or-fight mode

results in a 29% increased risk
of heart diseases.

That's equivalent to smoking
15 cigarettes every day.

It is more dangerous
than being an alcoholic.

And on top of these physical risks,
there's one more thing:

feeling lonely doubles
your likelihood of getting dementia.

Obviously,

there's an enormous individual cost
in that of feeling all alone.

There's also an enormous public cost.

People getting sick is expensive;
it is extremely expensive.

And to give you a specific example
of how loneliness is expensive,

we can stay on dementia

because 66% of all the money
we spend on mental healthcare

is spent on people
suffering from dementia.

And loneliness doubles your risk
of developing it.

We're going to add one more number:

12% of the Norwegian population
are daily smokers;

16% of us or maybe more
are haunted by loneliness.

We know that both of them

give you an equally increased risk
of heart disease and strokes.

So they're both extremely dangerous,

and one of them
is even exceptionally painful.

But the governments of the world
are clearly focusing on only one of them.

But what can you really do?

We set up taxes for cigarettes,
and then we banned smoking inside.

It's quite obvious that we can't use
the same methods for curing loneliness.

So where do we start if we want to have
an impact on a global scale?

Well, I started with studying
almost the opposite of psychology

because I chose computer science.

And the debates around the impact
of technology on loneliness is growing.

Some argue that the use of technology
is replacing human contact;

others argue that technology
is all we need to establish new relations.

I think that debate lacks one key insight

because it is not
about the technology at all.

We could say that it is somewhat
about what the technology does

and somewhat about how we,
as consumers, use technology.

But most importantly,

it's about the people
who develop the technology that we use.

They choose how it works and what it does.

And different things do different things.

And it's people
who develop the stuff we use.

Developments in communication technology
have emerged rapidly.

But unfortunately,

technology is almost always developed
to make efficient people more efficient.

New technologies are too often built
for those who are already moving fast,

rather than for those
who might benefit from it the most.

And for vulnerable groups,

the most important developments
have failed to appear.

I can give you one
of the many perfect examples

of how the tech world
has left the senior generations behind.

Technology-based innovations
such as videoconferencing -

it's been around for years.

We've also known for years
that videoconferencing

has a very positive impact
on social isolation and loneliness.

But yet 70% - seven, zero;
more than 2/3 - of those over 80

have never even tried it.

We know that this technology can help,

but still we haven't made it available
for those who could benefit from it most.

I imagine that many of you in the audience

have parents or even grandparents
that fit into the description,

seniors that cannot use
existing technology.

And then some of you
might want to jump up and say,

"My mom or dad can use an iPad."

And to statements like that

there's always some questions
that pop into my mind:

Could she go and buy that iPad,
download the programs that she needs

and start using it without help?

And why is that scenario so obscene?

Shouldn't she be able to do that?

My contribution
to put an end to loneliness

is developing solutions
that would work like that,

developing technology for smaller groups

that takes into consideration
their actual needs and capabilities,

technology that can foster
face-to-face contacts.

My second contribution
is talking about it.

Because we can tackle loneliness
by simply opening up a conversation,

making sure that everyone is aware.

I did not understand how lonely I was,

and of course, ironically,

the last thing you want
is to have people around you;

you do not want to let anyone in.

And I'm so far from being the only one
who has felt like this.

Depression is a massive issue.

But I'm 100% sure

that loneliness is often at the root
and always a contributor to depression.

Because we as humans

are fundamentally built
to be a part of a group.

We're fundamentally built
to depend on others

and to have others depending on us.

There's nothing cool or brave or great
about going through life alone.

So please, call the friend
that I know that you all have,

and just be bored together.

And then let people in.

Because when you lean on others,
you're helping them

and you're helping yourself

and you're actually helping our taxes.

So that was it. Thank you.

(Applause)