-
- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
-
Now, today's question is all about
-
therapists seeing their own therapists.
-
But before we jump into that,
are you new to my channel?
-
Welcome, I'm a licensed therapist
-
creating educational mental health videos,
-
and I release those videos
on Mondays and on Thursdays.
-
So make sure you're subscribed
-
and have your notifications turned on,
-
so that you don't miss out.
-
Now, let's jump into
today's question, and it is,
-
"Kati, would you mind doing
a video about how and why
-
"a therapist may need to see
their own therapist as well?
-
"I think that it would be interesting.
-
"'Cause I think most
people think therapists
-
"don't need to see someone
else since they should be able
-
"to fix their own issues."
-
And I had, to be honest, I
really had to spend some time
-
thinking about this question.
-
Because as you know, I've
been in therapy off and on
-
since I was like, 15 years old.
-
And if I'm being honest,
I just always thought
-
everyone should be in therapy,
-
but once I got this question
I started asking around,
-
and much to my surprise,
people didn't think that
-
their therapists should need
to see another therapist.
-
Many stating that if they were
actually good at their jobs,
-
they shouldn't need to
see someone about it.
-
Needless to say, I was completely shocked.
-
But if I really think about it,
I can understand why people,
-
you know, could think like that.
-
If I do know all about
people and relationships
-
and the power of our own thoughts,
-
and ways that we can work to change them,
-
then why can't I just,
you know, fix any issue
-
that comes up for me?
-
Well, the truth is, that I am more aware
-
of how I think and act,
-
but that doesn't make me
immune from being a human.
-
Like, I can still be a complete jerk,
-
I can take things personally,
-
or let my mind take me down a dark path.
-
And I also have my own upbringing,
that for better or worse,
-
does shape my automatic
responses to things.
-
And yes, I have worked
on that stuff in therapy
-
to better understand my own
responses, where they come from,
-
you know, why they happen and
what I can do to be better.
-
But as I am sure we all know,
-
knowing and doing can be
completely different things.
-
And also consider that
I work with my husband,
-
you know, I work with my
husband, Sean on the channel.
-
And while we get along very well,
-
and working together is
actually wonderful in many ways.
-
We do struggle to separate
our life from work sometimes.
-
So I talk about that a lot in therapy,
-
and turn to my own therapist
-
for her insight into this issue.
-
Because I'm just so in it, you know.
-
Sometimes it can help to
get an outside perspective,
-
because I'm almost
blinded by the fact that,
-
that's my day to day life.
-
And there's also the self-care
that needs to come along with
-
just being a therapist,
because we can take on
-
so much of what other
people are going through.
-
I mean, just consider, like, for example,
-
I'll give you one of my regular days
-
where I go to my office.
-
And this isn't to make you
feel bad for me at all,
-
I just really want you
to understand what I mean
-
when I say that therapist
need therapy for self-care.
-
So I get up, and I hop online,
-
I try to answer some of your questions,
-
I respond to many of you in
the comments below a new video,
-
on Twitter, on Tumblr sometimes
-
and I post in the Community
Tab, and Facebook Group,
-
you know, the list goes on and on and on.
-
Then I hop over to my office
and listen to my patients
-
and what they're going through,
-
you know, trying to focus and be with them
-
present in the moment,
asking the right questions,
-
offering tips and tools
where they may be needed.
-
And then I could go home,
or even stay in my office
-
and do more research or order workbooks,
-
or look into different
tools and techniques
-
that I should find to
better assist my patients.
-
Then I go home, I go to bed
-
and I wake up and I do it all over again.
-
And that's a lot of me giving
of my energy out to others.
-
So, it is a necessity that
I make time to re-energize
-
and to give it back to myself, you know.
-
Not to mention that if I don't
give myself enough me time
-
and self-care to recharge,
-
I could bring all of my own
bullshit into my sessions
-
that could lead me to talking
about myself all the time,
-
when it's someone else's session,
-
or even countertransference.
-
Which if you're not aware
of what that term means,
-
it's really when a patient
-
transfers another relationship on to me.
-
But instead of noticing
that and talking it through,
-
figuring out where it came from,
-
I react back to them from
my own past experience.
-
And then could like, and then
I transfer on my own feelings
-
and pass on to them in return.
-
Countertransference is
really bad stuff, okay.
-
And so if I'm not in therapy,
not taking care of myself,
-
that could happen more.
-
Not to mention that
just an overall struggle
-
to uphold safe and healthy boundaries
-
with my patients can be hard.
-
There's so much that goes
into being a therapist.
-
Correction, there's so
much that goes into being
-
a good therapist.
-
So, I truly believe that every therapist
-
or mental health professional
should see their own therapist
-
so that they have time to process it all.
-
And I was just talking with
my good friend Malik Ducard,
-
he'll be in a video very
soon, so stay tuned.
-
Anyways, he was telling
me that he is really good
-
at compartmentalizing things,
-
but he's not really sure if
that's a good or bad thing.
-
And it really made me think
-
because I'm also very good
at compartmentalizing,
-
but sometimes compartmentalization
can turn into repression.
-
By telling myself, oh yeah,
that bad thing happened,
-
you know, but I don't,
I don't really have time
-
to deal with that right now.
-
I can get so used to doing
that, pushing things back,
-
that I never actually take the time
-
to look back at that issue
and allow myself to feel it,
-
and process it, you know.
-
There even times when
something really exciting
-
will happen for me like
getting to ride with my book,
-
or go on a wonderful trip and
get to meet so many of you.
-
And I find myself struggling
to really feel it,
-
to let myself just soak it in.
-
And to be honest, I hate that I do that.
-
And I'm trying to work on it in therapy.
-
And my hypothesis is really
that it's because I'm so busy,
-
that I get distracted by the
next thing that I need to do,
-
so I don't really make the time and space
-
to just be in the moment.
-
And Malik described this so beautifully.
-
He said that when he's compartmentalizing,
-
he feels like he's building these cities,
-
like placing issues in houses or parks
-
where he can leave them.
-
And then I added when he
was saying that I was like,
-
well then, that means that
therapy is kind of like making
-
a point to take a trip
to that certain city
-
to see what issues have been left there.
-
And anyways, compartmentalizing
is imperative
-
when you're a therapist,
-
so that you don't bring your own stuff
-
to therapy with your patients
-
or another patient's stuff
into another session,
-
or worse, taking all
of that home with you.
-
However, we still need to take the time
-
to drive back into those
cities that we've created
-
and clean it up, you know.
-
Does that even make any sense?
-
I just really like that,
like visualization,
-
it worked for me, so
hopefully it works for you.
-
Also, I really think it's
important for a therapist
-
to know what it's like to be
on the other side, you know?
-
Like, I know what it's like
to call around to see someone,
-
to be nervous about my
first therapy appointment.
-
To fill out all that annoying paperwork,
-
try to figure out how
I'm gonna pay for it.
-
You know, flip the light switch on
-
to let them know that I'm
there and actually do the work.
-
And I know therapy can be
really hard, exhausting,
-
and so incredibly life changing.
-
And I know all of that because
I've been there myself.
-
And I think that that makes me a better,
-
not worse therapist.
-
And I guess my final thought is that,
-
you know, a surgeon can't
do surgery on themselves.
-
A hairdresser cannot always
successfully cut their own hair.
-
And a therapist cannot do
therapy on themselves either.
-
Some tasks just require some outside help
-
and perspective to get the job done.
-
And I personally I'm so thankful
for all of the therapists
-
that I've had over the years,
and how much they've pushed me
-
to become a better version of myself
-
because I really wouldn't be
who I am today without them.
-
But that's just my opinion.
-
And honestly, I would
love to to hear yours.
-
Would you prefer that your therapist
-
not see someone themselves?
-
Do you even care?
-
Maybe you don't, but
you wouldn't want them
-
to tell you about it.
-
I'm just curious what your
thoughts are about this.
-
So let me know on those
comments down below,
-
and I will see you next time.
-
Bye.
-
(laughing)
-
Okay.
-
What month is up?
-
Shit, (mumbles) they always notice.
-
Okay, okay, I'm sorry (mumbles).
-
Okay, ready?
-
Sorry.
-
(mumbles).
-
Okay.