RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy

(Subtitle Note: The audio seems to be taken from an event that Dr Brené Brown has spoken at, which is why there is crowd laughter.)

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4

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(bright orchestral music)

- [Brene] So what is empathy

and why is it very
different than sympathy?

Empathy fuels connection,

sympathy drives disconnection.

Empathy, it's very interesting.

Theresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar

who studied professions,
very diverse professions

where empathy is relevant,

and came up with four
qualities of empathy.

Perspective taking,

the ability to take the
perspective of another person

or recognize their
perspective is their truth.

Staying out of judgment,

not easy when you enjoy it
as much as most of us do.

Recognizing emotion in other people,

and then communicating that.

Empathy is feeling with people.

And to me, I always think of empathy

as this kind of sacred space,

when someone's kind of in a deep hole

and they shout out from
the bottom and they say,

"I'm stuck, it's dark, I'm overwhelmed."

And then we look and we say, "Hey."

We climb down.

"I know what it's like down here,

"and you're not alone."

Sympathy is, "Ooh, it's bad, uh-huh."

(audience laughing)

"Uh no, you want a sandwich?"

Empathy is a choice and
it's a vulnerable choice,

because in order to connect with you

I have to connect with something in myself

that knows that feeling.

Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response

begin with at least.

Yeah, and we do it all the time.

Because you know what?

Someone just shared something with us

that's incredibly painful,

and we're trying to silver lining it.

I don't think that's a verb,
but I'm using it as one.

We're trying to put the
silver lining around it.

"So I had a miscarriage."

"Oh, at least you know
you can get pregnant."

"I think my marriage is falling apart."

"At least you have a marriage."

(audience chuckling)

"John's getting kicked out of school."

"At least Sarah is an A student."

But one of the things we do sometimes

in the face of very
difficult conversations

is we try to make things better.

If I share something with
you that's very difficult,

I'd rather you say,

"I don't even know what to say right now.

"I'm just so glad you told me."

Because the truth is rarely can a response

make something better.

What makes something better is connection.

(bright orchestral music)