How to speak so that people want to listen
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0:02 - 0:04The human voice:
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0:04 - 0:06It's the instrument we all play.
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0:07 - 0:09It's the most powerful sound
in the world, probably. -
0:09 - 0:12It's the only one that can start a war
or say "I love you." -
0:12 - 0:14And yet many people have the experience
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0:14 - 0:16that when they speak, people
don't listen to them. -
0:16 - 0:17And why is that?
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0:17 - 0:21How can we speak powerfully
to make change in the world? -
0:21 - 0:23What I'd like to suggest,
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0:23 - 0:26there are a number of habits
that we need to move away from. -
0:26 - 0:29I've assembled for your pleasure here
seven deadly sins of speaking. -
0:29 - 0:32I'm not pretending
this is an exhaustive list, -
0:32 - 0:37but these seven, I think, are pretty large
habits that we can all fall into. -
0:37 - 0:39First, gossip.
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0:40 - 0:42Speaking ill of somebody
who's not present. -
0:43 - 0:45Not a nice habit,
and we know perfectly well -
0:45 - 0:49the person gossiping, five minutes later,
will be gossiping about us. -
0:50 - 0:51Second, judging.
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0:52 - 0:54We know people who are like this
in conversation, -
0:54 - 0:56and it's very hard to listen to somebody
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0:56 - 1:00if you know that you're being judged
and found wanting at the same time. -
1:00 - 1:02Third, negativity.
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1:02 - 1:04You can fall into this.
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1:04 - 1:07My mother, in the last years of her life,
became very negative, -
1:07 - 1:08and it's hard to listen.
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1:08 - 1:11I remember one day, I said to her,
"It's October 1 today," -
1:11 - 1:13and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"
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1:13 - 1:15(Laughter)
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1:15 - 1:18It's hard to listen
when somebody's that negative. -
1:18 - 1:19(Laughter)
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1:19 - 1:21And another form
of negativity, complaining. -
1:21 - 1:26Well, this is the national art of the U.K.
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1:26 - 1:27It's our national sport.
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1:27 - 1:30We complain about the weather, sport,
about politics, about everything, -
1:30 - 1:33but actually, complaining is viral misery.
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1:33 - 1:35It's not spreading sunshine
and lightness in the world. -
1:36 - 1:38Excuses.
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1:38 - 1:39We've all met this guy.
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1:39 - 1:41Maybe we've all been this guy.
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1:41 - 1:43Some people have a blamethrower.
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1:43 - 1:46They just pass it on to everybody else
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1:46 - 1:48and don't take responsibility
for their actions, -
1:48 - 1:51and again, hard to listen
to somebody who is being like that. -
1:51 - 1:53Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,
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1:53 - 1:56embroidery, exaggeration.
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1:56 - 1:59It demeans our language,
actually, sometimes. -
1:59 - 2:02For example, if I see something
that really is awesome, -
2:02 - 2:03what do I call it?
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2:03 - 2:06(Laughter)
-
2:06 - 2:09And then, of course,
this exaggeration becomes lying, -
2:09 - 2:12and we don't want to listen
to people we know are lying to us. -
2:12 - 2:15And finally, dogmatism.
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2:16 - 2:19The confusion of facts with opinions.
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2:19 - 2:21When those two things get conflated,
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2:21 - 2:23you're listening into the wind.
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2:23 - 2:26You know, somebody is bombarding you
with their opinions as if they were true. -
2:26 - 2:29It's difficult to listen to that.
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2:29 - 2:32So here they are, seven deadly
sins of speaking. -
2:32 - 2:34These are things I think we need to avoid.
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2:34 - 2:37But is there a positive
way to think about this? -
2:37 - 2:38Yes, there is.
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2:38 - 2:44I'd like to suggest that there are four
really powerful cornerstones, foundations, -
2:44 - 2:46that we can stand on if we want our speech
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2:46 - 2:50to be powerful and to make
change in the world. -
2:50 - 2:52Fortunately, these things spell a word.
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2:53 - 2:56The word is "hail," and it has
a great definition as well. -
2:56 - 2:58I'm not talking about the stuff
that falls from the sky -
2:58 - 3:00and hits you on the head.
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3:00 - 3:01I'm talking about this definition,
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3:01 - 3:03to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,
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3:03 - 3:05which is how I think
our words will be received -
3:05 - 3:07if we stand on these four things.
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3:07 - 3:08So what do they stand for?
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3:08 - 3:10See if you can guess.
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3:10 - 3:13The H, honesty, of course,
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3:13 - 3:16being true in what you say,
being straight and clear. -
3:16 - 3:20The A is authenticity,
just being yourself. -
3:20 - 3:23A friend of mine described it as
standing in your own truth, -
3:24 - 3:25which I think is a lovely way to put it.
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3:25 - 3:28The I is integrity, being your word,
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3:28 - 3:30actually doing what you say,
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3:30 - 3:32and being somebody people can trust.
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3:32 - 3:34And the L is love.
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3:35 - 3:37I don't mean romantic love,
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3:37 - 3:41but I do mean wishing people
well, for two reasons. -
3:41 - 3:44First of all, I think absolute honesty
may not be what we want. -
3:44 - 3:47I mean, my goodness,
you look ugly this morning. -
3:47 - 3:50Perhaps that's not necessary.
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3:50 - 3:53Tempered with love, of course,
honesty is a great thing. -
3:53 - 3:56But also, if you're really
wishing somebody well, -
3:56 - 3:59it's very hard to judge
them at the same time. -
3:59 - 4:03I'm not even sure you can do
those two things simultaneously. -
4:03 - 4:05So hail.
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4:05 - 4:07Also, now that's what you say,
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4:07 - 4:09and it's like the old song,
it is what you say, -
4:09 - 4:11it's also the way that you say it.
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4:11 - 4:12You have an amazing toolbox.
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4:12 - 4:14This instrument is incredible,
-
4:14 - 4:18and yet this is a toolbox
that very few people have ever opened. -
4:18 - 4:20I'd like to have a little rummage
in there with you now -
4:20 - 4:22and just pull a few tools out
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4:22 - 4:24that you might like to take
away and play with, -
4:24 - 4:26which will increase
the power of your speaking. -
4:26 - 4:28Register, for example.
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4:28 - 4:32Now, falsetto register may not
be very useful most of the time, -
4:32 - 4:34but there's a register in between.
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4:34 - 4:36I'm not going to get very
technical about this -
4:36 - 4:38for any of you who are voice coaches.
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4:38 - 4:40You can locate your voice, however.
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4:40 - 4:43So if I talk up here in my nose,
you can hear the difference. -
4:43 - 4:44If I go down here in my throat,
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4:44 - 4:47which is where most of us
speak from most of the time. -
4:47 - 4:49But if you want weight,
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4:49 - 4:51you need to go down here to the chest.
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4:51 - 4:53You hear the difference?
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4:53 - 4:57We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it's true, -
4:57 - 5:00because we associate depth with power
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5:00 - 5:02and with authority.
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5:02 - 5:04That's register.
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5:04 - 5:05Then we have timbre.
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5:06 - 5:07It's the way your voice feels.
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5:07 - 5:09Again, the research shows
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5:09 - 5:12that we prefer voices
which are rich, smooth, warm, -
5:12 - 5:14like hot chocolate.
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5:15 - 5:18Well if that's not you,
that's not the end of the world, -
5:18 - 5:19because you can train.
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5:19 - 5:21Go and get a voice coach.
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5:21 - 5:22And there are amazing things you can do
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5:22 - 5:25with breathing, with posture,
and with exercises -
5:25 - 5:27to improve the timbre of your voice.
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5:27 - 5:29Then prosody. I love prosody.
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5:29 - 5:31This is the sing-song, the meta-language
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5:31 - 5:33that we use in order to impart meaning.
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5:33 - 5:36It's root one for meaning in conversation.
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5:36 - 5:40People who speak all on one note
are really quite hard to listen to -
5:40 - 5:43if they don't have any prosody at all.
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5:43 - 5:46That's where the word
"monotonic" comes from, -
5:46 - 5:48or monotonous, monotone.
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5:48 - 5:52Also, we have repetitive
prosody now coming in, -
5:52 - 5:54where every sentence ends
as if it were a question -
5:54 - 5:57when it's actually not
a question, it's a statement? -
5:57 - 5:59(Laughter)
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5:59 - 6:01And if you repeat that one,
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6:01 - 6:04it's actually restricting your ability
to communicate through prosody, -
6:04 - 6:06which I think is a shame,
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6:06 - 6:08so let's try and break that habit.
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6:09 - 6:10Pace.
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6:10 - 6:13I can get very excited by saying
something really quickly, -
6:13 - 6:17or I can slow right down to emphasize,
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6:17 - 6:20and at the end of that, of course,
is our old friend silence. -
6:23 - 6:26There's nothing wrong with a bit
of silence in a talk, is there? -
6:27 - 6:29We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs.
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6:30 - 6:31It can be very powerful.
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6:32 - 6:34Of course, pitch often
goes along with pace -
6:34 - 6:37to indicate arousal, but you
can do it just with pitch. -
6:37 - 6:38Where did you leave my keys?
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6:38 - 6:40(Higher pitch) Where did you
leave my keys? -
6:40 - 6:44So, slightly different meaning
in those two deliveries. -
6:44 - 6:46And finally, volume.
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6:46 - 6:50(Loud) I can get really excited
by using volume. -
6:50 - 6:52Sorry about that, if I startled anybody.
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6:52 - 6:56Or, I can have you really pay attention
by getting very quiet. -
6:57 - 6:59Some people broadcast the whole time.
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6:59 - 7:00Try not to do that.
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7:00 - 7:02That's called sodcasting,
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7:02 - 7:03(Laughter)
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7:03 - 7:08Imposing your sound on people around you
carelessly and inconsiderately. -
7:08 - 7:09Not nice.
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7:09 - 7:12Of course, where this all comes
into play most of all -
7:12 - 7:14is when you've got something
really important to do. -
7:14 - 7:18It might be standing on a stage like this
and giving a talk to people. -
7:18 - 7:20It might be proposing marriage,
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7:20 - 7:23asking for a raise, a wedding speech.
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7:23 - 7:25Whatever it is, if it's really important,
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7:25 - 7:28you owe it to yourself
to look at this toolbox -
7:28 - 7:30and the engine that it's going to work on,
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7:31 - 7:34and no engine works well
without being warmed up. -
7:34 - 7:35Warm up your voice.
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7:35 - 7:38Actually, let me show you how to do that.
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7:38 - 7:41Would you all like to stand
up for a moment? -
7:41 - 7:42I'm going to show you
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7:42 - 7:47the six vocal warm-up exercises
that I do before every talk I ever do. -
7:47 - 7:50Any time you're going to talk
to anybody important, do these. -
7:50 - 7:53First, arms up, deep breath in,
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7:53 - 7:56and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.
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7:56 - 7:57One more time.
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7:57 - 8:00Ahhhh, very good.
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8:00 - 8:02Now we're going to warm up our lips,
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8:02 - 8:04and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
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8:04 - 8:07Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good.
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8:07 - 8:11And now, brrrrrrrrrr,
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8:11 - 8:12just like when you were a kid.
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8:12 - 8:15Brrrr. Now your lips
should be coming alive. -
8:15 - 8:17We're going to do the tongue next
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8:17 - 8:21with exaggerated la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la. -
8:21 - 8:23Beautiful. You're getting
really good at this. -
8:23 - 8:26And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr.
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8:26 - 8:28That's like champagne for the tongue.
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8:28 - 8:30Finally, and if I can only do one,
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8:30 - 8:32the pros call this the siren.
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8:32 - 8:35It's really good. It starts
with "we" and goes to "aw." -
8:35 - 8:37The "we" is high, the "aw" is low.
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8:37 - 8:43So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.
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8:43 - 8:45Fantastic. Give yourselves
a round of applause. -
8:45 - 8:46Take a seat, thank you.
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8:46 - 8:48(Applause)
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8:48 - 8:50Next time you speak, do those in advance.
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8:50 - 8:53Now let me just put this
in context to close. -
8:53 - 8:55This is a serious point here.
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8:55 - 8:57This is where we are now, right?
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8:57 - 8:59We speak not very well
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8:59 - 9:01to people who simply aren't listening
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9:01 - 9:04in an environment that's all
about noise and bad acoustics. -
9:04 - 9:07I have talked about that on this stage
in different phases. -
9:07 - 9:08What would the world be like
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9:08 - 9:10if we were speaking powerfully
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9:10 - 9:12to people who were listening consciously
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9:12 - 9:16in environments which were
actually fit for purpose? -
9:16 - 9:19Or to make that a bit larger,
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9:19 - 9:20what would the world be like
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9:20 - 9:22if we were creating sound consciously
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9:22 - 9:24and consuming sound consciously
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9:24 - 9:26and designing all our environments
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9:26 - 9:28consciously for sound?
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9:28 - 9:31That would be a world
that does sound beautiful, -
9:31 - 9:35and one where understanding
would be the norm, -
9:35 - 9:37and that is an idea worth spreading.
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9:37 - 9:38Thank you.
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9:38 - 9:40(Applause)
- Title:
- How to speak so that people want to listen
- Speaker:
- Julian Treasure
- Description:
-
Have you ever felt like you're talking, but nobody is listening? Here's Julian Treasure to help. In this useful talk, the sound expert demonstrates the how-to's of powerful speaking — from some handy vocal exercises to tips on how to speak with empathy. A talk that might help the world sound more beautiful.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 09:58
Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Krystian Aparta commented on English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Qingqing Mao commented on English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Morton Bast approved English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to speak so that people want to listen |
Qingqing Mao
I think on 5:43 - 5:46, "That's where the world monotonic comes from," the "world" should actually be "word"?
Krystian Aparta
The English transcript was updated on 3/27/2015.