How to cope with anxiety | Olivia Remes | TEDxUHasselt
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0:16 - 0:20Imagine that you're getting ready
to go to a party. -
0:20 - 0:23You feel excited, but also nervous,
-
0:23 - 0:25and you've got this feeling
in your stomach -
0:25 - 0:28almost like another heartbeat.
-
0:29 - 0:34There's something holding you back,
holding you back from getting too happy. -
0:35 - 0:36"No, you mustn't get too happy.
-
0:36 - 0:42Better to be cautious, otherwise,
something bad might happen." -
0:42 - 0:46You start wondering,
"Who should I talk to when I get there? -
0:46 - 0:52What if no one wants to talk to me?
What if they'll think I'm weird?" -
0:53 - 0:55When you arrive at the party,
-
0:55 - 0:59someone comes up to you
and starts talking with you, -
0:59 - 1:00and as this is happening,
-
1:00 - 1:05your mind starts racing,
your heart begins pounding, -
1:05 - 1:07you start sweating,
-
1:07 - 1:11and it feels almost like
you're dissociating from yourself, -
1:11 - 1:15like it's an out-of-body experience,
and you're just watching yourself talk. -
1:16 - 1:21"Keep it together," you say
to yourself, but you can't. -
1:21 - 1:23And it's just getting worse:
-
1:24 - 1:26after a few minutes of conversation,
-
1:26 - 1:29the person
you've been speaking to leaves, -
1:29 - 1:32and you feel utterly defeated.
-
1:33 - 1:39This has been happening to you
in social situations for a long time. -
1:39 - 1:43Or imagine every time you go out,
and you're in crowded places, -
1:43 - 1:46you feel this panic starting to arise.
-
1:46 - 1:49When you're surrounded by lots of people,
-
1:49 - 1:54like on a bus, you start
to feel hot, nauseous, uneasy, -
1:55 - 1:57and to prevent this from happening,
-
1:57 - 2:03you start avoiding a lot of places
which makes you feel lonely and isolated. -
2:04 - 2:08You or the person
in both of these scenarios -
2:08 - 2:10have anxiety disorders,
-
2:11 - 2:15and what I can tell you
is that anxiety is very common, -
2:15 - 2:17much more than people think.
-
2:17 - 2:21Right now, one in 14 people
around the world -
2:21 - 2:24have an anxiety disorder,
-
2:24 - 2:29and each year, it costs
over 42 billion dollars -
2:29 - 2:33to treat this mental health problem.
-
2:33 - 2:36To show you the impact
that anxiety has on someone's life, -
2:36 - 2:37I will just mention
-
2:37 - 2:44that anxiety can lead to depression,
school dropout, suicide. -
2:45 - 2:49It makes it harder to focus,
and to hold down a job, -
2:50 - 2:53and it can lead
to relationship breakdown. -
2:53 - 2:55But a lot of people don't know this,
-
2:55 - 2:59that's why, a lot of times,
people sweep anxiety under the rug -
2:59 - 3:05as just nerves that you need
to get over, as a weakness, -
3:05 - 3:07but anxiety is so much more than that.
-
3:09 - 3:12A reason why so many people
don't think it's important -
3:12 - 3:14is that they don't know what it is.
-
3:14 - 3:21Is it your personality? Is it an illness?
Is it a normal sensation? What is? -
3:23 - 3:26That's why it's important
to differentiate -
3:26 - 3:30what is normal anxiety
from what is an anxiety disorder. -
3:32 - 3:36Normal anxiety is
an emotion that we all get -
3:36 - 3:38when we're in stressful situations.
-
3:38 - 3:42For example, let's say,
you're out in the woods, -
3:42 - 3:45and you come face-to-face with a bear.
-
3:47 - 3:50This will probably make you feel
a little bit anxious, -
3:50 - 3:54and you'll probably want
to start running like crazy. -
3:54 - 4:00This anxious feeling that you get is good
because it protects you, it saves you, -
4:00 - 4:04and it makes you
on a hightail it out of there, -
4:04 - 4:08although maybe it's not such a good idea
to start running when you see a bear. -
4:09 - 4:11I really don't think
you can outrun a bear. -
4:14 - 4:17Anxiety helps us meet
our deadlines at work -
4:17 - 4:20and deal with emergencies in life,
-
4:20 - 4:24but when this anxiety emotion
is taken to the extreme -
4:25 - 4:29and arises in situations
which don't pose a real threat, -
4:29 - 4:33then that's when you might have
an anxiety disorder. -
4:33 - 4:36For example, people
with generalized anxiety disorder -
4:36 - 4:42worry excessively and constantly
about everything going on in their lives, -
4:42 - 4:47and they find it very difficult
to control this worry. -
4:48 - 4:52They also have symptoms
like restlessness, fear, -
4:53 - 4:58they find it hard to fall asleep at night,
and they can't concentrate on tasks. -
5:00 - 5:06In spite of whatever kind of anxiety
you might be suffering from, -
5:06 - 5:10there is something
that you can do to lower it. -
5:10 - 5:14It works, and it's simpler
than you may think. -
5:15 - 5:18All too often, we're given
medication for mental disorders, -
5:19 - 5:21but it doesn't always work
in the long run. -
5:21 - 5:25Symptoms often come back,
and you're back to where you started. -
5:26 - 5:28So here's something else to consider:
-
5:28 - 5:33the way you cope or handle things
has a direct impact -
5:33 - 5:37on how much anxiety you're experiencing,
-
5:37 - 5:43and if you tweak the way you're coping,
then you can lower your anxiety. -
5:46 - 5:48In our study
at the University of Cambridge, -
5:48 - 5:51we showed that women living in poor areas
-
5:51 - 5:55have a higher risk for anxiety
than women living in richer areas. -
5:55 - 5:59These results didn't surprise us,
but when we looked closer, -
5:59 - 6:03we found that women living in poor areas,
-
6:03 - 6:06if they had a particular set
of coping resources, -
6:06 - 6:08they didn't have anxiety,
-
6:08 - 6:14while women living in poor areas
without these coping resources -
6:14 - 6:15had anxiety.
-
6:16 - 6:17Other studies showed
-
6:17 - 6:21that people who had faced
extreme circumstances, -
6:21 - 6:25who had faced adversity, been
through wars and natural disasters, -
6:25 - 6:28if they had coping resources,
-
6:28 - 6:32they remained healthy
and free of mental disorders, -
6:32 - 6:37while others, facing the same hardships
but without coping skills -
6:37 - 6:41went on a downward spiral
and developed mental disorders. -
6:43 - 6:48So what are
some of these coping resources, -
6:48 - 6:52and how can we use them
to lower our anxiety? -
6:53 - 6:55And before I dive into what they are,
-
6:55 - 6:59I'd like to point out -
and I think this is so interesting - -
6:59 - 7:06you can develop these coping resources
or coping skills on your own -
7:06 - 7:08through the things that you do;
-
7:09 - 7:12you can take charge
of your anxiety and lower it, -
7:12 - 7:15which I think is so empowering.
-
7:17 - 7:21Today I'll be talking about
three coping resources, -
7:21 - 7:25and the first one is feeling like
you're in control of your life. -
7:27 - 7:31People who feel like they're
more in control of their life -
7:31 - 7:33have better mental health.
-
7:34 - 7:37If you feel like
you're lacking in control in life, -
7:37 - 7:38then research shows
-
7:38 - 7:43that you should engage in experiences
that give you greater control. -
7:44 - 7:45I'll show you what I mean:
-
7:46 - 7:50do you sometimes find that you put off
starting something -
7:50 - 7:53because you just don't feel ready enough?
-
7:54 - 7:56Do you find it hard to make decisions
-
7:56 - 8:02like what to wear, what to eat
who to date, which job to take up? -
8:03 - 8:06Do you tend to waste a lot of time
-
8:06 - 8:10deciding what you might do
while nothing gets done? -
8:12 - 8:17A way to overcome indecision
and this lack of control in life, -
8:17 - 8:19is to do it badly.
-
8:21 - 8:24There's a quote by writer
and poet GK Chesterton -
8:24 - 8:31that says, "Anything worth doing
is worth doing badly the first time." -
8:32 - 8:34The reason why this works so well
-
8:34 - 8:40is that it speeds up your decision-making
and catapults you straight into action, -
8:40 - 8:42otherwise, you can spend hours
-
8:42 - 8:46deciding how you should go
about doing something -
8:46 - 8:48or what you should do.
-
8:48 - 8:53This can be paralyzing and can make
you afraid to even begin. -
8:54 - 8:59All too often, we aim for perfection,
but never end up doing anything -
8:59 - 9:02because the standards
that we set for ourselves -
9:02 - 9:05are too high, they're intimidating,
-
9:05 - 9:09which stresses us out
so we delay starting something, -
9:09 - 9:13or we might even abandon
the whole thing altogether. -
9:15 - 9:18Do it badly frees you up to take action.
-
9:18 - 9:20I mean you know how it is:
-
9:20 - 9:25so often, we want to do
something perfectly we can't start -
9:25 - 9:29until it's the perfect time,
until we've got all the skills, -
9:30 - 9:34but this can be daunting and stressful
-
9:34 - 9:37so why not just jump into it
just do it however, -
9:37 - 9:40without worrying if it's good or bad?
-
9:40 - 9:44This will make it that much easier
to start something -
9:44 - 9:47and as you're doing it badly to finish it,
-
9:47 - 9:49and when you look back,
-
9:49 - 9:54you'll realize, more often than not,
that actually it's not that bad. -
9:56 - 9:58A close friend of mine who has anxiety
-
9:58 - 10:02started using this motto,
and this is what she said, -
10:03 - 10:08"When I started using this motto,
my life transformed. -
10:08 - 10:13I found I could complete tasks
in much shorter time periods than before. -
10:14 - 10:20Do it badly gave me wings to take risks,
to try something differently, -
10:21 - 10:26and to have way more fun
during the whole process. -
10:27 - 10:32It took the anxiety out of everything
and replaced it with excitement." -
10:34 - 10:41So do it badly, and you can improve
as you go along. -
10:43 - 10:46I'd like to ask you to think about this:
-
10:46 - 10:53if you start using this motto today,
how would your life change? -
10:58 - 11:02The second coping strategy
is to forgive yourself, -
11:02 - 11:05and this is very powerful if you use it.
-
11:06 - 11:10People with anxiety think a lot about
-
11:10 - 11:16what they're doing wrong, their worries,
and how bad they're feeling. -
11:17 - 11:22Imagine if you had a friend
who constantly pointed out -
11:22 - 11:25everything you're doing wrong,
-
11:25 - 11:29and everything
that was wrong with your life. -
11:29 - 11:30You would probably want
-
11:30 - 11:33to get rid of this person
right away, wouldn't you? -
11:35 - 11:40Well, people with anxiety
do this to themselves all day long. -
11:41 - 11:43They're not kind to themselves.
-
11:43 - 11:47So maybe it's time to start
being kinder with ourselves, -
11:47 - 11:50time to start supporting ourselves,
-
11:51 - 11:54and a way to do this
is to forgive yourself -
11:54 - 11:56for any mistakes you think
-
11:56 - 11:58you might have made
just a few moments ago -
11:59 - 12:01to mistakes made in the past.
-
12:02 - 12:05If you had a panic attack
and are embarrassed about it, -
12:05 - 12:07forgive yourself;
-
12:07 - 12:10if you wanted to talk to someone,
-
12:11 - 12:13but couldn't muster up
the courage to do so, -
12:13 - 12:15don't worry about it, let it go;
-
12:15 - 12:18forgive yourself
for anything and everything -
12:18 - 12:22and this will give you
greater compassion towards yourself. -
12:24 - 12:27You can't begin to heal until you do this.
-
12:28 - 12:31And last but not least,
-
12:32 - 12:35having a purpose and meaning in life
-
12:35 - 12:38is a very important coping mechanism.
-
12:39 - 12:43Whatever we do in life,
whatever work we produce, -
12:44 - 12:46however much money we make,
-
12:46 - 12:51we cannot be fully happy until we know
that someone else needs us, -
12:52 - 12:55that someone else depends on
our accomplishments, -
12:55 - 12:58or on the love that we have to share.
-
13:00 - 13:01It's not that we need
-
13:01 - 13:05other people's good words
to keep going in life, -
13:05 - 13:08but if we don't do something
with someone else in mind, -
13:08 - 13:12then we're at much higher risk
for poor mental health. -
13:14 - 13:17The famous neurologist
Dr. Victor Frankel said, -
13:18 - 13:21"For people who think
there's nothing to live for -
13:21 - 13:25and nothing more to expect from life,
-
13:25 - 13:28the question is getting
these people to realize -
13:28 - 13:32that life is still expecting
something from them." -
13:36 - 13:41Doing something with someone else in mind
can carry you through the toughest times. -
13:41 - 13:44You'll know the why for your existence
-
13:44 - 13:50and will be able to bear
almost any how; almost any how. -
13:53 - 13:56So the question is
-
13:56 - 14:00do you do at least one thing
with someone else in mind? -
14:01 - 14:03This could be volunteering,
-
14:04 - 14:09or it could be sharing this knowledge
that you gained today with other people, -
14:09 - 14:11especially those who need it most,
-
14:12 - 14:15and these are often the people
who don't have money for therapy, -
14:15 - 14:17and they're usually the ones
-
14:17 - 14:20with the highest rates
of anxiety disorders. -
14:20 - 14:23Give it to them, share with others,
-
14:23 - 14:26because it can really improve
your mental health. -
14:30 - 14:33So I would like to conclude with this:
-
14:35 - 14:39another way you can do something
with someone else in mind -
14:39 - 14:44is finishing work that might benefit
future generations. -
14:46 - 14:51Even if these people will never realize
what you've done for them, -
14:51 - 14:52it doesn't matter,
-
14:52 - 14:57because you will know,
and this will make you realize -
14:57 - 15:02the uniqueness
and importance of your life. -
15:03 - 15:04Thank you.
-
15:04 - 15:05(Applause)
- Title:
- How to cope with anxiety | Olivia Remes | TEDxUHasselt
- Description:
-
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
Anxiety is one of most prevalent mental health disorders, with 1 out of 14 people around the world being likely affected. Leading up to conditions such as depression, increased risk for suicide, disability and requirement of high health services, very few people who often need treatment actually receive it. In her talk "How to cope with anxiety," Olivia Remes of the University of Cambridge will share her vision on anxiety and will unravel ways to treat and manage this health disorder. Arguing that treatments such as psychotherapy and medication exist and often result in poor outcome and high rates of relapses, she will emphasize the importance of harnessing strength in ourselves as we modify our problem-coping mechanisms. Olivia will stress that by allowing ourselves to believe that what happens in life is comprehensive, meaningful, and manageable, one can significantly improve their risk of developing anxiety disorders.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 15:16
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Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How to cope with anxiety | Olivia Remes | TEDxUHasselt | ||
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