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The Fault Finding Mind | Ajahn Brahm | 7 May 2021

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    So, now is the opportunity for me to
    give a talk. And for this evening's
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    talk, for once, I was this
    evening, just in my room, came here
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    early, decided to give a talk on one of
    the things which causes a lot of
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    problems in our modern world. It's
    called the fault finding mind. It causes
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    a lot of problems in meditation, but
    it's much deeper than that. And the
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    reason why I came across that talk was
    recently, I had my COVID jab. Reason is
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    now the AstraZeneca, because it had
    "Zen" in it. As a Buddhist, I thought
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    that's appropriate for a monk to have a
    "Zen" jab. [laughter] It's very
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    disappointing, I must admit, because
    people said it was going to have all
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    sorts of problems afterwards. I got
    nothing, I wasn't tired or didn't hurt,
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    no sort of reactions at all. So, I live
    a very boring life as a healthy monk.
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    It's true. But one of the things which I
    noticed, was sitting in the doctor's
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    surgery in Serpentine, there was a
    gentleman in there, he was really upset.
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    I'm not quite sure why, something the
    doctors or the nurses weren't doing. And
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    he was really upset and he was very
    angry, and I thought, poor doctors and
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    nurses. I mean they're trying their very
    best to serve and to help. And they
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    don't force people to do things,
    usually. And just, why are people so
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    upset? It's something I hadn't seen in
    monastery for a long time. Just why do
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    people get so wound up about small
    things? And it is because that sometimes
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    people have developed the fault finding
    mind. They always see what's wrong in
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    things. They see what's wrong in the
    medical profession. What's wrong with
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    COVID? What's wrong with the Buddhist
    Society of Western Australia? What's
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    wrong with Ajahn Brahm? What's wrong
    with the whole world? And some might
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    even see what's wrong with themselves
    and they get depressed. Have you ever
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    see me depressed? One of the reasons why
    as a monk you just don't get depressed
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    is literally because you've haven't
    developed the fault finding mind at all.
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    You've actually developed the opposite
    of the fault finding mind and one little
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    story which I was telling a few people
    during the week, I love telling sort
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    of jokes. It's a funny story, but it's
    not really so much for the joy or the
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    fun of it. It's just how people can
    relate to the story. And this was a
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    story of a young man. And he was really
    sort of, he's quite bright and passed
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    his university or whatever, or school or
    whatever, but he couldn't get a job. And
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    so what happened was that his friends
    tried to get him a job. You're getting a
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    job somewhere, you get to work, you get
    some money for something. It's good
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    exercise and a good experience for you.
    So, they got him a fairly simple job as
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    as a waiter in one of the restaurants.
    You didn't have to have much skill about
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    that. You just find out what a person
    wants and take it to the cooks or
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    whatever and then they give them the
    food afterwards. And then just after
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    half a day, this young man soon
    resigned. Why? What was the problem? He
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    said, "well look, so if I give all this
    delicious food to everybody and I can't
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    eat any of it for myself, there's so
    much suffering. I can't stand it any
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    longer, half a day is enough." So, they
    say now what can we do with this guy and
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    they came up with a solution and they
    said "okay you can actually be the
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    cashier because the cashier, that little
    area there, is all cordoned off. So you
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    can't see the food at all, maybe
    smelling it but not that much. And you
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    can just get the bills, count the money,
    give the change. Easy!" So okay, I'll
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    try that. So he became the cashier at
    the restaurant. After half a day he gave
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    that up as well. I can't stand this any
    longer. It's even more torture than
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    serving food which I can't eat. I count
    money which isn't mine. I count all the
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    money but I can't put any of it in my
    pocket. Oh, that's so much torture. They
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    said how can we just deal with somebody
    like this and get him a job so they
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    talked around. And they finally came up
    with a solution. A brilliant solution.
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    They said the local cemetery needs a
    cemetery attendant. There is a little
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    light cabin in the front of the cemetery
    just where the main gate is. All you
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    need to do is sit in there quietly and
    just make sure that the right people
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    come in and they don't. No food, you
    can't see any food there. You can't see
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    any money. So you should be
    able to do this; such simple job. He
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    said okay I'll give it a try. After half
    a day, he resigned. I can't stand this
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    any longer. They said, why? While I'm
    sitting in there most of the day and I
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    see all these people lying down and I
    have to sit up. [laughter]
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    In a cemetary. Okay, there's a bit of
    funny story about that. But, that is a
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    good example of someone who is a fault
    finder, big time. whatever job you do,
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    you'd always find fault in it somewhere.
    I tell people, look even if whatever
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    work you have to do, always remember
    this, that if you really enjoyed your
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    job, you found a very fulfilling, very
    worthwhile job to do. Don't tell your
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    boss, otherwise they'd stopped paying
    you. Your salary, your payment is a
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    bribe to do a job you'd rather not do.
    How many of you would get up on a Monday
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    morning and go to work? Do you love
    doing that? Wouldn't it be better just
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    to sleep in? The reason you go to work
    is because you get paid for it. Let's
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    not call it "salary". Let's call it for
    what it really is, "bribe". To get you
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    to go to work. And that's why some
    people just do extra work. Get more
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    money. So if you don't really enjoy your
    work so much, just think about poor
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    Ajahn Brahm and Venerable Ananda. We
    don't get paid at all. [laughter] They
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    don't bribe us at all. So, Madam
    Vice-President [of the BSWA], so for
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    that, one of the reasons that sometimes
    the situation. Our work situation, see
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    where I live. All I can afford is a
    little cave, sleeping on the floor. But
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    I've had gone up in the world because a
    few people asked me earlier on, was it
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    really true that when I first went to
    Bodhinyana Monastery in Serpentine, I
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    didn't have a cave, I didn't have a hut.
    I had a door. That's all. And this door,
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    there's another monk with me at the
    time. We had two doors from the salvage
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    yard. And the door was put on three
    bricks in every corner, 12 bricks in
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    all. And we put on some mosquito net
    umbrella, which they had in Thailand at
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    those time we bought over here, on top
    of that, and that's where I slept. I
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    think it was a pillow but no sort of
    mattress and my door, we had two doors.
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    The other monk was senior to me so he
    got the first choice of the doors. He
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    got the much better door which was flat.
    My door had all this ribbing on it. You
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    know these really fancy doors, had all
    ribbing all over it. And that's where I
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    slept on for the first two or three
    months over in Bodhinyana Monastery. It
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    was one very helpful feature because I
    don't have a fault finding mind. I see
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    the positive things in things; and the
    positive things which I saw in my door.
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    It had a hole in the centre where the
    doorknob used to be, because we've taken
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    the doorknob off so there's a hole in
    the centre of my bed so I didn't really
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    need to get out of bed to go to the
    toilet. [laughter]
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    True, it's in the forest. [Ajahn
    chuckles] So, when you don't have fault
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    finding, why's he got the better door
    than I have? Why can't I have a flat
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    door? Why do I have to live like this?
    This is not right. That's called fault
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    finding. Instead, this is good enough to
    have a good night's sleep. This is off
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    the ground. So, little by little, you
    see, just how fault finding causes so
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    much problems in life. And of course to
    say this, my terms of employment. Now, I
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    haven't got a contract for the BSWA. So,
    my pay is non existent, food just one
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    meal a day. Most days you get
    breakfast these days. But those days,
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    it's one meal a day. And just all in one
    bowl, all gets mixed up. I say, that's
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    amazing. When you see the way we eat,
    and sometimes you just get these things.
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    You tried to separate them, I must
    admit, but was this one occasion, I had
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    strawberry ice cream on spaghetti
    bolognese. [laughter] There's spaghetti
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    bolognese and it was in one part.
    There's some ice cream. And the person
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    who took my bowl up just must have just
    went over the lid. Oh my goodness. So
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    you're getting bolognese and the
    strawberry ice cream was on top of it.
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    Have you ever had that? [laughter] Why
    do you think it's nasty? Why do you
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    think it's terrible? Actually it is
    nasty and terrible. But anyway, I always
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    say you get a lot of fun being a monk,
    as you see. One of the reasons is
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    because you don't know... treat it
    like a kid treats it. it's interesting,
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    it's joyful. Let's give it a try. See
    what happens and tell all your friends
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    about it afterwards. All the silly
    things which you eat. And it also just,
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    even like working. Now this last few
    weeks, because of maybe COVID it's been
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    quite light. But have you ever had to
    work really hard? Do extra work because
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    of your company, your boss and they
    really need a bit of extra help. And you
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    have to work really late hours, and
    sometimes hardly get any sleep at all.
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    How many of you have done that? Of
    course, I've done that many times
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    before. And many of you have done that.
    How do you do that? How can you work
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    just so hard, and even lose sleep? By
    giving it fun, enjoy, seeing the purpose
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    of it. Every time there's a meditation
    retreat on at Jhana Grove now, one of
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    the nuns is doing that. First time a
    retreat is being, oh no, Ayya
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    Hasapanna's done retreats here before so
    I can't say that. This is by Venerable
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    Munissara. So it's wonderful. Yay,
    bhikkhunis are doing retreats now. But
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    also, that every time I do a retreat
    down there, I always end up telling this
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    story. And those of you who've seen
    Jhana Grove Retreat Centre,
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    state-of-the-art retreat centre. Notice
    the floor in the meditation room, it
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    hasn't got a carpet because we thought
    there's some people want to meditate and
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    they have allergies. So, it's just a
    bamboo floor. It's very beautiful, but
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    on bamboo floor. You know what happens
    again, Ajahn Brahm being the builder.
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    I'm not really the builder, but it's my
    project, so I had to make sure
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    everything was done properly. And it's a
    huge project, I asked the person in
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    charge of doing the building, "Are you
    sure it's going to be ready by Easter
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    2008 or nine or 12? What was it, about
    12/13 years ago? 2008. Are you sure it's
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    going to be ready?" He said, "Yes! No
    trouble at all! Well ahead of schedule."
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    And I should know by now. I'm really
    stupid. I trust people too much. Because
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    it wasn't. It was a real rush.
    Especially the last day. We're going to
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    have the opening ceremony, it was on
    the Easter retreat. And we're going to
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    have it on Friday, the Good Friday. And
    we invited even the the former Premier,
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    Geoff Gallop. He was gonna, he still is
    the what do you call it? The patron of
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    Jhana Grove Retreat Centre. And he was
    gonna come and open it for us. And as
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    soon as the opening was finished, we're
    gonna have our retreat, the 8/9 day
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    retreat, and we had all this ceremony
    all arranged. And you know what
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    happened? You know what happened? It
    wasn't finished. Thursday evening. Half
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    the floor had not been laid. It was just
    concrete. Half the floor was finished.
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    Half the floor was bare concrete. We
    tried to get floor makers in to come and
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    finish it off for us. Would they work on
    Thursday evening, before the long
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    weekend? No way. So what happened? Duh
    duh duh, in come the monks like the
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    seventh cavalry to save the day again.
    And it was brilliant. It's beautiful.
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    Ajahn Brahmali and Ajahn Santutthi, they
    were the main collaborators. They worked
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    till 4am. All night. 4am. And that's a
    beautiful job they did. If you sit on
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    that, when every time I see that, I feel
    so much joy and happiness. Just
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    finishing off like that. They had a lot
    of fun. A lot of joy, not sleeping,
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    working hard. Had an hour or two to
    sleep before we started the ceremony in
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    the morning, big ceremony all day. Have
    a look at it. It's gorgeous. That is how
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    we work. Do we get paid? Imagine if we
    did get paid. There'll be it's Easter.
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    So that's double time. Overnight, that's
    double time again.
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    So, night time work, oh, they could have
    made a fortune.
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    If we were paid. But we don't do that.
    Do it for the fun of it, the joy of it
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    because you don't have fault finding.
    You have the opposite. Joy finding,
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    beauty finding. And that's one of the
    reasons why we don't get paid, we get
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    exploited. Please exploit us some more.
    We don't think like other people. So
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    instead, we just see the joy of doing
    these things and the wonder of doing
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    these things, which means the fault
    fighting is not there. So we don't get
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    upset and don't argue. And if you notice
    carefully, there is a mistake in that
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    floor. Have any of you seen it? It's in
    the corner, which is closest to the
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    entrance door. Doesn't quite match. But
    that's beautiful. It doesn't have to
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    match and be perfect. And you know, the
    only people who know that, now you
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    probably know that now, only people who
    really know that are the people who did
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    it. Have you ever noticed what you do
    yourself, you can see all the faults in
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    it. And other people comes, "Oh, what a
    beautiful painting job you did. Oh, what
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    a wonderful thing you did with that
    laying the carpet or whatever. What a
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    beautiful garden you have." You see the
    faults but other people don't. Why? It
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    is because the biggest fault finder of
    all is ourselves to what we do. And of
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    course I can't go past this story about
    fault finding or why people just have
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    such a difficult life together with
    themselves or with their partner or
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    their family was the old two bad bricks
    in a wall story. And you heard it so
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    many times. But it's it's one of my
    favourite stories of my own life being a
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    monk. Bodhinyana Monastery in
    Serpentine. When we first got there, we
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    didn't have, we were in debt. We had
    this land. That's why we had to get the
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    doors from the salvage yard. Not a
    salvage yard, it was a tip. We knew
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    where the tip was. So we got two best
    doors we could which other people have
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    thrown away. And so we didn't have any
    place to stay. Just sleep out. So while
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    we built things and remember I was the
    main builder there and I went to the
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    councils, to be able to stay here what,
    what do we really need. And they said
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    like health and safety. So it was like
    toilets. So the first thing which we
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    built was our toilet block. People
    thought we were crazy, can't you build
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    something more inspiring, like a hall or
    kitchen or something? No, we're raising
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    funds for a toilet block. But that was
    all we could do was just to raise funds
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    for bricks and cement and wood and
    concrete and stuff. But oh I told the
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    other monks this story last week that,
    you know, I was really a bad builder in
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    those days because we didn't know where
    to build. And so it was a vacant area
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    where the toilet block now is. And I
    thought wow, we don't have to cut any
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    trees down so let's build it here. But
    you know, the reason why there was no
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    trees there? It was solid rock
    underneath. There's only about a few
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    inches of soil and then solid sort of
    granite. And so once you've made your
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    decision, your plans to build it there.
    You had to build it there.
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    So what am I gonna do with this
    granite. So we tried with picks. That
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    didn't work. If you ever tried to pick
    on granite, your teeth almost fall out
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    because it's very hard. And so we had
    this wonderful fella, used to come here,
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    came here recently, Cameron, always
    remember his name because he had a
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    licence for explosives. So we've got
    explosives, try to blow it up. Remember,
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    I was only about 28/29 or something at
    that time. So it was really good fun. I
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    must admit I enjoyed it. Just holding
    gelignite. And you can't do that these
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    days because of so many laws and stuff.
    And then just blowing it up. Trying to
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    lower the the cap rocks so we
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    can put pipes through it. Total waste of
    time, but it's good fun. And for those
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    of you who know Bodhinyana Monastery,
    one of those explosions, we just put
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    rocks on the top of the gelignite to try
    and get the force of the explosion to
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    break up the rock. One of those rocks,
    you know where the the monks' places,
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    one of those rocks went right up to now
    where the women's guest quarters are. A
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    long way, it's almost going into space.
    That's very dangerous. Anyway, that's
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    not recommended, okay? But anyway, once
    we just put a slab down, the next thing
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    was to do the brick work. So I did a lot
    of the brick work. And that was my first
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    brick wall. That's actually the... yeah,
    it was that wall, first brick wall. And
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    that was that story where I really took
    my time. And I was really mindful. And
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    really careful. Come on, you got to do
    this properly. Because otherwise, when
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    people come, they wouldn't put any money
    in the donation box. So I'll be wasting
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    it. So, I've finished my first brick
    wall. And when I looked at it, oh my
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    goodness, I'd really stuffed up, stuffed
    up big time, because the two bricks were
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    crooked. Oh, my goodness, what can I do?
    So what would you do. Two bad bricks,
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    you know, you get sort of a trowel and
    try and scrape out the mortar to reset
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    them. But that mortar was just like
    rock, like diamond. You couldn't take it
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    out at all. What can I do? So the next
    idea which came into my head, oh you've
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    heard the story before. The meaning
    behind this, when you elaborate on it is
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    really powerful. The next thing I
    decided to do, they had a senior monk
  • 22:57 - 23:03
    who had the best door. And I asked him,
    "Have you got enough money to buy some
  • 23:03 - 23:09
    more of that gelignite and blow up the
    wall? So I can start again." That's what
  • 23:09 - 23:14
    I wanted to do. And if we had, I
    would've done that. Just blow it up and
  • 23:14 - 23:20
    start again. Because those two bad
    bricks, they spoiled the whole wall, in my
  • 23:20 - 23:28
    mind. And it really did, for me. Every
    time, I actually had nightmares about
  • 23:28 - 23:32
    that, well, you know what happens, you
    are in there on your door. And you wake
  • 23:32 - 23:37
    up in the middle of the night, oh my
    goodness, what have I done? Spoiled the
  • 23:37 - 23:48
    first building. And when any visitors
    came and I took them out to see
  • 23:48 - 23:51
    how the building work was going and I'd
  • 23:51 - 23:54
    take them, I always take them so they
    wouldn't see my mistakes, show them
  • 23:54 - 24:00
    something else. Because I was really
    embarrassed. I thought I was, like many
  • 24:00 - 24:06
    people, I was a perfectionist. I didn't
    want anyone else to see my mistakes. So
  • 24:06 - 24:12
    I wanted to hide it, blow it up, do
    something. But then what happened, the
  • 24:12 - 24:18
    beautiful part of the story. And I don't
    know who it was. If anybody hears this
  • 24:18 - 24:23
    and they tell me that it was them who
    said this, I'd just bow to you. Because
  • 24:23 - 24:28
    you taught me so much with a simple
    statement. I was with this gentleman.
  • 24:29 - 24:33
    And they saw those two bad bricks. And
    they said, "what a beautiful wall that
  • 24:33 - 24:40
    was." Sometimes people say those things
    just to try and suck up to you and
  • 24:40 - 24:43
    trying to praise you or whatever. I
    don't know why. He said, "It's a
  • 24:43 - 24:48
    beautiful wall" and I said, "Are you
    blind? Have you left your, are you
  • 24:48 - 24:52
    visually challenged?" That was what I
    used to say in those days. "Can't you
  • 24:52 - 24:57
    see the two mistakes which spoiled the
    whole wall?" And what they said next was
  • 24:57 - 25:03
    just absolutely brilliant. They said,
    "Yes, I can see those two crooked
  • 25:03 - 25:11
    bricks, but I can also see the 998
    perfect bricks." And that really shook
  • 25:11 - 25:18
    me. It shook me because that was the
    first time in three months that I could
  • 25:18 - 25:26
    see anything other than my mistakes. It
    was weird, because it was like when
  • 25:26 - 25:30
    you're pass that wall, your eyes would
    just go to two bricks, and you wouldn't
  • 25:30 - 25:35
    see anything else. You thought of it,
    you just thought of your mistakes. You
  • 25:35 - 25:40
    dreamed of it, you dreamed of your
    mistakes. And he said, "There's bricks
  • 25:40 - 25:45
    to the left, right above and below those
    mistakes; perfect, beautiful bricks.
  • 25:45 - 25:52
    It's a beautiful wall." You know what?
    He was right. It was a beautiful wall.
  • 25:53 - 25:58
    And from that day on, it's not just that
    I didn't need to blow up that wall. I
  • 25:58 - 26:03
    didn't need to feel ashamed of it. I
    learned how not to be such a fault
  • 26:03 - 26:10
    finder, and to focus on two tiny
    mistakes. And forget about all the other
  • 26:10 - 26:15
    beautiful things in that wall. I told
    that story so many times. And you may
  • 26:15 - 26:19
    have heard it so many times, you
    probably know it better than I do. I
  • 26:19 - 26:23
    will often say that, with my stories,
    I've heard more times than anybody,
  • 26:25 - 26:30
    because I tell them or write them down
    in books. But, what it really meant, it
  • 26:30 - 26:37
    was pointing out a part of psychology.
    Why do men and women who've got married,
  • 26:37 - 26:45
    why do they divorce? Why do boyfriends
    and girlfriends separate? Why do people
  • 26:45 - 26:47
    who have been friends for years
  • 26:47 - 26:51
    suddenly decide they can't stand
    each other any longer?
  • 26:52 - 26:55
    Two bad bricks in a wall. That's why.
  • 26:55 - 26:58
    And they can't see the other beautiful
    bricks in the wall.
  • 26:59 - 27:03
    I've been telling it to quite a few
    people that that was the very first
  • 27:03 - 27:10
    story of my first book, Two Bad Bricks
    in a Wall. And that was when that was
  • 27:10 - 27:17
    published and got popular. I got this
    invitation to go to Bangkok. Four
  • 27:17 - 27:25
    couples in the Australian Embassy in
    Bangkok had marital trouble. Two were
  • 27:26 - 27:29
    divorced. They've gone through the
    divorce proceedings. Two were separated
  • 27:29 - 27:35
    but not divorced yet. When they read
    that story, they came together again.
  • 27:37 - 27:40
    Amazing, they were divorced. But they
    decided to come together again,
  • 27:40 - 27:47
    separated ones came together again. And
    they wanted to see me. They want to say
  • 27:47 - 27:51
    thank you. So they bought me an airline
    ticket to go to Bangkok, paid
  • 27:51 - 27:57
    everything. So I gave a talk for the
    people in the Australian Embassy in
  • 27:57 - 28:03
    Bangkok. Say thank you. It worked. How
    does it work? Of course it works because
  • 28:04 - 28:09
    especially when you're living with
    somebody, your partner, of course you
  • 28:09 - 28:14
    see faults in them. If we've got that
    fault finding mind, after a while, you
  • 28:14 - 28:18
    think why did I ever marry this person?
    I must have been dumb. I must have been
  • 28:18 - 28:22
    drunk on drugs or something. Why did I
    marry her? Woah I must have been dumb to
  • 28:22 - 28:36
    marry him. Have you ever felt like that?
    You don't look at it that way. You're
  • 28:36 - 28:41
    looking at it, and as I often say,
    sitting here. Yeah, he's not perfect.
  • 28:42 - 28:48
    But then neither are you, are you? So
    you're a match. [laughter] Put it
  • 28:48 - 28:54
    bluntly. But you don't just look at the
    bad things, look at the good things in
  • 28:54 - 29:00
    that person. And there's so many of
    them. And that's what they were doing.
  • 29:00 - 29:04
    They're seeing the not the bad bricks in
    the wall, but the beautiful bricks in
  • 29:04 - 29:09
    the wall. Of the person they were living
    with. Actually they're not that bad a
  • 29:09 - 29:17
    person after all. Little by little, you
    notice that seeing the faults in things,
  • 29:18 - 29:24
    the mistakes which people make, the sort
    of stupid things we do from time to
  • 29:24 - 29:31
    time. Those seeing those faults and
    focusing on them, that becomes the fault
  • 29:31 - 29:37
    finding mind. And at the least you
    wanted to destroy things, to blow up
  • 29:37 - 29:45
    things, to go to the lawyers and get the
    separation, ask for compensation, or
  • 29:45 - 29:51
    whatever it is. That fault finding mind
    creates so much damage in this world.
  • 29:51 - 29:58
    I wanted to blow up that wall. And I would
    have done if we had any money. And if
  • 29:58 - 30:02
    that kind person had not come up and
    told me that solution. There's other
  • 30:02 - 30:08
    bricks in the wall. But I can't go past
    the two bad bricks story without one of
  • 30:08 - 30:12
    the other stories. I told that story. It
    is one of my favourite stories to tell
  • 30:12 - 30:17
    to people with cancer. You've got
    cancer, you've got a tumour in you
  • 30:17 - 30:25
    somewhere. Is that all you've got in
    your body? Just one or two tumours, two
  • 30:25 - 30:32
    bad bricks in your wall? This is
    actually quite challenging, but it
  • 30:32 - 30:43
    works. Anyway, after I told that story
    at the cancer group, this builder came
  • 30:43 - 30:47
    up. I love this ending to the story.
    This builder came up to me and said
  • 30:47 - 30:52
    "Ajahn Brahm, you don't have to worry
    about making mistakes. All builders make
  • 30:52 - 30:59
    mistakes. There doesn't exist a perfect
    bricklayer." But he told me, said, "This
  • 30:59 - 31:03
    is a secret." He said. And of course,
    you all know the secret by now. If you
  • 31:03 - 31:09
    don't know, you can hear it in a few
    moments. "The secret is that when as a
  • 31:09 - 31:18
    builder we make a mistake like that, two
    crooked bricks, we tell our client that
  • 31:18 - 31:26
    it's a feature. There's no other house
    in Perth like this, we charge them an
  • 31:26 - 31:34
    extra couple of $1,000." And I just love
    that ending to the story because it's
  • 31:34 - 31:41
    true. The things which are wrong, the
    things which we think that we
  • 31:41 - 31:47
    should fix up, the things we find fault
    with; are they really that bad or are
  • 31:47 - 31:54
    they beautiful features of life? So, you
    don't find fault with things or want to
  • 31:54 - 32:01
    fix it or destroy it, or hide it. The
    faults become the beauty. We learn so
  • 32:01 - 32:09
    much from seeing those faults. So, one
    of the things, you'll see the faults in
  • 32:09 - 32:14
    your partner. Aw come on, just it makes
    life a bit more interesting and
  • 32:14 - 32:23
    fascinating and have some fun with
    that. I remember those days, I used
  • 32:23 - 32:27
    to go and help my.. when mother was still
    alive. It's Mother's Day on Sunday,
  • 32:27 - 32:32
    isn't it? Yes, I'm just remembering my
    old mother. She died a long time ago.
  • 32:34 - 32:38
    But anyway, when I used to go and visit,
    I was a monk, monks can visit their
  • 32:38 - 32:43
    mothers. So when I used to go, now how
    could I do something instead of just
  • 32:43 - 32:47
    sitting next to my mother and watching
    the TV, which she did most of the time. I
  • 32:47 - 32:51
    wanted to actually to do something to
    help her so yeah, I was a bit of a
  • 32:51 - 32:56
    builder, fit, healthy. So I decided to
    do some decoration for her in her little
  • 32:56 - 33:05
    apartment. So painting the ceiling. And
    then I told my mom she said why is most
  • 33:05 - 33:10
    ''why are we using so much paint?'',
    she asked me. I said because ''most of it
  • 33:10 - 33:18
    ends up on the floor'', because I was
    painting the ceiling. So it happens
  • 33:18 - 33:23
    of course it's really hard to paint on the
    ceiling, most of it just falls off.
  • 33:23 - 33:28
    I wasn't that skilled. Instead of
    actually finding fault, I had a lot of
  • 33:28 - 33:33
    fun and joy doing things like that. So
    little by little, instead of like
  • 33:33 - 33:36
    looking at faults, you should look at
    the beautiful side of life. You are not
  • 33:36 - 33:41
    the most perfect painter but the fact I
    was trying for my mom and doing the best
  • 33:41 - 33:49
    I possibly could. So that makes life
    much more warm. And also, I've been
  • 33:49 - 33:52
    doing that for such a long time, I don't
    find fault with myself every time my
  • 33:52 - 34:01
    robe slips off. Oops you don't use it to
    criticise yourself I don't find fault
  • 34:01 - 34:13
    with myself either. That's why I don't
    improve [laughter] Do you want to
  • 34:13 - 34:22
    improve? Do you want me to improve?
    [laughter] Do you want your partner to
  • 34:22 - 34:28
    improve? Sometimes I say this and
    there's something to this. Send them to
  • 34:28 - 34:35
    a retreat. If you want your husband to
    be much more kind and sensitive, and
  • 34:35 - 34:39
    easygoing and more amenable in every
    which way, send him to meditation
  • 34:39 - 34:45
    retreat. It works. Just like when you
    have a car, you send it to the garage to
  • 34:45 - 34:52
    get tuned up. That's what we do at
    meditation retreats, tune up husbands
  • 34:55 - 35:03
    and wives as well. It is actually true.
    There was this guy, good old story. It's
  • 35:03 - 35:07
    years and years ago, we had
    these weekend retreats; he always wanted
  • 35:07 - 35:11
    to go on a weekend retreat. He told me
    this story. It's a beautiful story. And
  • 35:11 - 35:15
    when there was a weekend retreat, he
    said to his wife, "Can I go on the
  • 35:15 - 35:18
    weekend retreat?" "What are you talking
    about? We got to do the shopping, the
  • 35:18 - 35:23
    cleaning, look after the kids, take them
    here. Go to the dentist, gotta mow the
  • 35:23 - 35:28
    lawn. There's too much to do." You can
    understand that. You know, having a
  • 35:28 - 35:33
    family, having a house, there's so much
    you have to do on weekends. So she said
  • 35:33 - 35:40
    no. But he was very persistent. Any
    husbands here who wanna go on retreats,
  • 35:40 - 35:50
    this is how it's done. [laughter] He
    asked next retreat, he asked again,
  • 35:50 - 35:53
    "There's a retreat on, can I go?" "No,
    of course you can't go! Mother's coming
  • 35:53 - 35:58
    this weekend. The kids need to be taken
    here and taken there to their sports and
  • 35:58 - 36:01
    there's so much cleaning. You've got to
    clean up the shed. You promised to do
  • 36:01 - 36:09
    that for weeks." Okay. And he was
    persistent. This is a trick. Guys. I
  • 36:09 - 36:17
    never been married. But I know all about
    it, how it works. [laughter]
  • 36:17 - 36:20
    One day he said, "Oh there's another
    retreat on." I don't know how many times
  • 36:20 - 36:25
    he said this but, "there's a retreat on
    this weekend. Can I go?" She was so fed
  • 36:25 - 36:29
    up with him. "Ok, you go on your stupid
    retreat and leave me with the kids on
  • 36:29 - 36:33
    the shopping and the cleaning." He took
    that as a "yes" and went. [laughter]
  • 36:36 - 36:44
    It's only for the weekend. She was
    really annoyed at him. But then when he
  • 36:44 - 36:52
    came home, he came home, he was really
    changed, like soft and kind and lots of
  • 36:52 - 36:59
    loving kindness, and not fault finding
    and peaceful and very helpful, you know,
  • 36:59 - 37:03
    when you do your little chores in the
    kitchen. And they learn how to do this
  • 37:03 - 37:09
    and cook that and she was amazed at the
    change in her husband. Just a weekend
  • 37:10 - 37:19
    and what a most wonderful guy he was to
    live with. This is absolutely true. The
  • 37:19 - 37:23
    next time there was a retreat, he came
    on a retreat. "And so, you've got
  • 37:23 - 37:28
    permission from your wife to go on a
    retreat again?" He said, "No, I didn't
  • 37:28 - 37:35
    have permission to go, she just gave me
    the money and sent me." [laughter]
  • 37:36 - 37:42
    because what was happening there was
    they saw the results of a person who
  • 37:42 - 37:44
    learns how not to be so fault finding.
  • 37:45 - 37:50
    Imagine your partner/husband/wife. If
    you could actually take all that fault
  • 37:50 - 37:52
    finding away.
  • 37:53 - 37:57
    Imagine what a beautiful person that
    will be to live with. And instead, just
  • 37:57 - 38:03
    appreciating the goodness and the
    kindness, you know in people and in the
  • 38:03 - 38:09
    house and the place you live. That
    positivity. What a wonderful person that
  • 38:09 - 38:15
    will be to live with. So that's one of
    the reasons why to learn how to let go
  • 38:15 - 38:21
    of the fault finding mind and appreciate.
    When things do go wrong, they're the
  • 38:21 - 38:32
    features of life! That's where we learn
    and we grow, when things go wrong. This
  • 38:32 - 38:38
    is how I was taught by Ajahn Chah, the
    teacher. Every time I did something
  • 38:38 - 38:45
    stupid, it caused my teacher to laugh so
    much. I think that's why he had lots of
  • 38:45 - 38:48
    Western monks, Ajahn Chah, to entertain
    him.
  • 38:49 - 38:53
    (Ajahn laughing)
  • 38:57 - 39:04
    All these stupid stories, there was one
    of these young ladies who came from
  • 39:04 - 39:09
    England. As her father was head of the
    English Sangha Trust, that's the people
  • 39:09 - 39:15
    who run the monasteries in England. So
    he gave her a, I think, 18th birthday
  • 39:15 - 39:18
    present to go to Bangkok, Thailand, but
    she came up to the monastery for a few
  • 39:18 - 39:26
    days. And in the place we had for
    visiting lay people, actually I built
  • 39:26 - 39:31
    that one, I remember building that
    place. And because they had squat
  • 39:31 - 39:35
    toilets, yeah, there are squat toilets
    in Asia. You know what about people who
  • 39:35 - 39:39
    can't use a squat toilet, had to sit
    down so we had a little thing we could
  • 39:39 - 39:42
    actually put on the top of the squat
    toilet, you know, which made it look
  • 39:42 - 39:48
    like a western toilet. We had that just
    put in the corner somewhere just for
  • 39:48 - 39:53
    storage. And this young lady, 18 years
    of age, said, "Oh that's a toilet." She
  • 39:53 - 40:05
    sat on it. I did a number two, on the
    floor. [laughter] When she came to
  • 40:05 - 40:09
    apologise, we said, "No thank you!
    That's made our day. We're going to tell
  • 40:09 - 40:14
    that story for years afterwards."
    [laughter]
  • 40:18 - 40:28
    It wasn't fault fighting. Instead, tell
    us some more mistakes you did. You know,
  • 40:28 - 40:33
    you've seen the spittoons we use for
    monks, we haven't got any here. But you
  • 40:33 - 40:39
    know, in the dining area, the old
    spittoons. Of course, some people, they
  • 40:39 - 40:43
    are visiting a monastery the first time.
    Oh come and have something to eat. So
  • 40:43 - 40:45
    they get the, they see the monks with
    these beautiful bowls. They see these
  • 40:45 - 40:48
    little spittoons and so that's what they
    put their food in.
  • 40:50 - 40:59
    Oh, we get so much laughter by not
    having any rules put down there and just
  • 40:59 - 41:04
    people learning. There's nothing wrong
    with doing things like that. You don't
  • 41:04 - 41:08
    get embarrassed about it. And of course,
    you know, the first time I learnt the
  • 41:09 - 41:15
    Thai language, many of the Thai people
    know this story. That very early days in
  • 41:15 - 41:20
    Thailand, all the monasteries were very
    poor. Wat Pah Pong where Ajahn Chah
  • 41:21 - 41:25
    lived when I first went was really poor.
    So whenever you got anything, they had a
  • 41:25 - 41:30
    big water jar. And you just put those
    things in the water jar, maybe
  • 41:30 - 41:39
    toothpaste or toothbrushes, or anything
    you needed, like a towel. And so if you
  • 41:39 - 41:43
    needed something, you just go and ask
    Ajahn Chah and say, "I need some
  • 41:43 - 41:47
    toothpaste" and he just look inside
    there and said, "There is some. " and
  • 41:47 - 41:53
    just give it to you. So this time I
    needed some soap, obviously you know to
  • 41:53 - 42:01
    wash. But you had to ask in Thai so you
    know my Thai was not that good. So, the
  • 42:01 - 42:07
    word for "soap" is S̄bū̀, not
    "S̄ạbpard". It's hardly any differences
  • 42:07 - 42:12
    there, "S̄ạbpard" ,"S̄bū̀" but
    apparently "S̄ạbpard" means pineapple.
  • 42:17 - 42:24
    So, I asked my great master, "Can I have
    a pineapple, please?" [laughter]
  • 42:24 - 42:29
    And he said to me, he's very kind, he
    said, "What do you want the pineapple
  • 42:29 - 42:44
    for?" I said, "To wash!" He never let me
    forget that. He said, "Oh, you know
  • 42:44 - 42:48
    people in England, you know, they don't
    use soap like us. They are far more
  • 42:48 - 42:53
    advanced, they use pineapples.
    [laughter] This Western culture is way
  • 42:53 - 43:05
    ahead of ours." So, your mistakes cause
    so much laughter and joy and happiness.
  • 43:05 - 43:12
    So, why be a fault finder? That builder
    was absolutely true. You know, when he
  • 43:12 - 43:16
    said, when we make a mistake, it makes
    it more beautiful. It's a feature and we
  • 43:16 - 43:21
    charge people more for that. There's
    more truth in that than you recognise.
  • 43:22 - 43:25
    So it's the same when we don't have a
    fault finding mind.
  • 43:26 - 43:30
    How we can live together in peace and
    harmony so easily. You see people do
  • 43:30 - 43:37
    stupid things. I have stupid ideas. When
    it's the same as when we meditate, you
  • 43:37 - 43:46
    don't have a fault finding mind, how
    powerful meditation becomes. I mentioned
  • 43:46 - 43:52
    that, if you are smart enough, the
    meditation which I taught today, I call
  • 43:52 - 43:57
    it the Emperor's three questions.
    Emperor's three questions meditation.
  • 43:57 - 44:01
    Now is the only time you have. What's
    the most important thing to be aware of
  • 44:01 - 44:05
    when you're meditating? Watch your
    meditation object? People keep telling
  • 44:05 - 44:08
    me. Should we be watching the breath?
    Where should we be watching our breath?
  • 44:08 - 44:10
    How should we be watching the breath?
    Should we be watching something else,
  • 44:10 - 44:14
    watching our body. Watch this go up.
    that go down. What should we be doing?
  • 44:14 - 44:22
    What should we be watching? And the answer
    was whatever's in front of your mind
  • 44:22 - 44:27
    right now is the most important
    meditation object in the whole world.
  • 44:29 - 44:33
    That is a brilliant answer. And that
    actually comes from a Tolstoy story,
  • 44:33 - 44:37
    which you've heard me say that
    before the Emperor's three questions.
  • 44:37 - 44:42
    Most important time is now, easy one.
    The most important person this one right
  • 44:42 - 44:45
    in front of you. Dorothy, you're the
    most important person in the world for
  • 44:45 - 44:55
    me right now. Not anymore. [laughter]
    What that meant is you really pay
  • 44:55 - 45:01
    attention to what's happening right in
    front of you, right in this moment, even
  • 45:01 - 45:08
    in meditation and then what do you do?
    There's this beautiful saying, you care.
  • 45:10 - 45:13
    You don't find fault or want to get rid
    of it and go somewhere else.
  • 45:15 - 45:20
    You care for this moment, even if it's
    unpleasant. You're having a difficult
  • 45:20 - 45:28
    day. Be with it. It's teaching you
    something. All the times I've had
  • 45:28 - 45:33
    sicknesses, pains, COVID injections or
    whatever, instead of getting upset and
  • 45:33 - 45:40
    angry about it. Whatever happened to
    you, you learn from it. You welcome it.
  • 45:40 - 45:41
    You care for it.
  • 45:41 - 45:45
    It's amazing when you're in difficult
    situations, how you can care for things.
  • 45:46 - 45:51
    And when you care for things,
    it's like you'r all in it-togetherness.
  • 45:51 - 45:58
    What's the time? Oh, yeah,
    have any of you ever stayed? Was it
  • 45:58 - 46:04
    in the? It is the Hilton in Perth. I
    spent one night in the Hilton Hotel in
  • 46:04 - 46:11
    Perth. What happened was going
    international flight somewhere. I forget
  • 46:11 - 46:16
    where it was going to. But you'd already
    checked in, you know, through the
  • 46:16 - 46:21
    immigration and stuff. So you're
    technically not in Australia. But then
  • 46:21 - 46:24
    the flight was cancelled or something
    was wrong with it. So they had to put us
  • 46:24 - 46:29
    all in hotel for the night. I couldn't
    go back to Bodhinyana Monastery.
  • 46:29 - 46:33
    Couldn't come back to here even. Because
    you know, you had to be quarantined. You
  • 46:33 - 46:36
    weren't really in Australia, but you
    know, you physically were in Australia.
  • 46:36 - 46:45
    So, I've got a night in the hotel. Yay!
    And a nice meal in the morning. Yay! Is
  • 46:45 - 46:50
    that good? I thought it was interesting.
    I enjoyed it. Only time I could ever go
  • 46:50 - 46:57
    in a hotel in Perth, just stay the night
    for free. Forget what the airline was.
  • 46:57 - 47:02
    But anyway, so when things go wrong for
    me in my life, it's not really wrong at
  • 47:02 - 47:08
    all. It's always opportunities,
    different ways of looking at things and
  • 47:08 - 47:14
    have fun, and joy. So little by little,
    you find that when you don't have a
  • 47:14 - 47:19
    fault finding mind, there's so much joy
    and different experiences you can have
  • 47:20 - 47:29
    in whatever happens during this life,
    can be meditation. When I realise if I'm
  • 47:29 - 47:34
    sleepy, sleepiness is the most important
    thing in the world for me.
  • 47:34 - 47:36
    And I care for it.
  • 47:38 - 47:45
    I don't try and get rid of it. That's
    negativity. I don't try and want
  • 47:45 - 47:54
    something else. That's just craving. I'm
    with whatever I have to do. And I enjoy
  • 47:54 - 47:59
    it. Whenever I get put in these
    situations as a monk, which I know
  • 47:59 - 48:07
    nothing about, sometimes like I told you
    that time when I went to the 2019 World
  • 48:07 - 48:13
    Computer Conference in South Korea. I'm
    not, you know, you know, about my
  • 48:13 - 48:23
    computer skills. I don't know much what
    I'm doing, I managed to, but I went and
  • 48:23 - 48:28
    it was a keynote address. Okay, and all
    these big companies like Google and
  • 48:28 - 48:33
    Samsung and LG, they were all there. And
    Ajahn Brahm, the Buddhist Society of
  • 48:33 - 48:42
    Western Australia; we were there in the
    World Computer Conference. They kept on
  • 48:42 - 48:48
    asking me, "What are you doing here?"
    Well, life is really interesting being a
  • 48:48 - 48:56
    Buddhist monk. Or going to that state
    dinner at Parliament House in Canberra.
  • 48:56 - 48:59
    How many of you been to a state dinner?
  • 48:59 - 49:05
    I have. Could I eat? No, because I can't
    eat in the evening. Still went though.
  • 49:09 - 49:13
    That beautiful story of how I got the
    invitation. That was when John Howard,
  • 49:14 - 49:19
    he was the prime minister when Queen
    Elizabeth for the Melbourne. Is it
  • 49:19 - 49:23
    Commonwealth Games? Yeah. I remember
    Commonwealth Games. So I went there that
  • 49:23 - 49:29
    one, for the state dinner. I wasn't
    competing in the Commonwealth Games,
  • 49:29 - 49:33
    although really I should have done the
    high jump. It's very easy. If you can
  • 49:33 - 49:37
    levitate, you know, just high jump,
    which should be pretty easy. [laughter]
  • 49:41 - 49:47
    But then, then when you got the
    invitation, got this big, this is like
  • 49:47 - 49:53
    big invitation dinner with Queen
    Elizabeth. Woah. And so we've got the
  • 49:53 - 49:57
    card. I think I still got it somewhere.
    I have to search for it somewhere. But
  • 49:57 - 50:06
    anyway, you are invited to dinner at
    State Parliament House with Queen
  • 50:06 - 50:11
    Elizabeth and Prince Philip, requested
    company of the Venerable Ajahn
  • 50:11 - 50:18
    Brahmavamso. Wow, how can you refuse
    that? Until you see the dress code.
  • 50:18 - 50:24
    [Laughter] This is true. I told this
    story many times,
  • 50:24 - 50:27
    but it's a wonderful story.
  • 50:28 - 50:32
    The first item for dress code, because you
    can't just walk in there. You gotta
  • 50:32 - 50:40
    have, it's a formal dinner. Crikey. So,
    the first option of dress was called a
  • 50:40 - 50:46
    black tie. I've never been to a state
    dinner before. I don't know what they
  • 50:46 - 50:56
    wear. Is that what you wear? Just a tie.
    No trousers, no shoes. [laughter] It's
  • 50:56 - 51:05
    code. Code means a jacket, nice shoes
    and trousers and stuff. I can't go
  • 51:05 - 51:12
    wearing that. I haven't got one.
    And the next, the next option
  • 51:13 - 51:21
    was military uniform. Oh come on, I'm a
    Buddhist monk, I'm a pacifist, you can't
  • 51:21 - 51:26
    have a military uniform. So I was losing
    hope. Until I saw the third option.
  • 51:27 - 51:39
    That's right. Long dress. [laughter] So,
    I walked up in long dress. It's the only
  • 51:39 - 51:48
    thing I had. And then, the security
    grabbed me. They did. [laughter] They
  • 51:48 - 51:52
    said, "Are you supposed to be in here,
    sir?" And I got out my invitation. "Yes,
  • 51:52 - 51:55
    I'm supposed to be in here."
    "Okay, go in."
  • 51:58 - 52:02
    So you have a lot of fun. You know, when
    you know, you don't sort of find
  • 52:02 - 52:10
    fault. And you just allow the life. If
    the things are really, really wrong, you
  • 52:10 - 52:14
    find out if you don't find fault with
    things, but to be calm, and kind and
  • 52:14 - 52:22
    care. A lot of times you can heal a lot
    of difficult situations, sickness and
  • 52:22 - 52:31
    ill health. How much in your body is not
    sick? This is one of those reasons. I
  • 52:32 - 52:37
    can't keep on talking for too long but
    when I told that story, or this story
  • 52:37 - 52:42
    about fault finding mind, in the
    Institute of Mental Health in Singapore
  • 52:42 - 52:48
    that time. When afterwards, this guy was
    a Catholic and he said, "Can you please
  • 52:48 - 52:56
    come to my ward in the Institute of
    Mental Health to bless my ward?" I said,
  • 52:56 - 53:01
    "Yeah, of course. But you're a Catholic.
    You're okay with this?" He said, "Oh, it
  • 53:01 - 53:05
    doesn't matter." But he said, "I really
    appreciate what you've been teaching and
  • 53:05 - 53:11
    your attitude." And I was really
    interested to find out what have I done?
  • 53:12 - 53:16
    What have I taught, which makes a
    Catholic want to invite a Buddhist monk
  • 53:16 - 53:21
    to bless his ward. And he said, "What
    are you doing here?" And he was the
  • 53:21 - 53:30
    professor of schizophrenia in Singapore.
    Professor. And he said, "That's my ward,
  • 53:30 - 53:36
    we treat people who are admitted with
    schizophrenia. You know, very extreme
  • 53:36 - 53:41
    cases." I think you've all had
    experiences of seeing other people with
  • 53:41 - 53:49
    schizophrenia. It's a terrible disease.
    It's so hard to look after. And then I
  • 53:49 - 53:54
    asked him, I knew there was something up
    here somewhere. I said, "How do you
  • 53:54 - 54:02
    treat schizophrenia as a professor, as a
    boss, the head guy in Singapore." And he
  • 54:02 - 54:10
    said, "I, just as you said Ajahn Brahm,
    I don't treat schizophrenia as a
  • 54:10 - 54:15
    professor of schizophrenia in Singapore.
    I treat the other part of the patient,
  • 54:16 - 54:22
    which isn't schizophrenic." And I knew
    what I'd said before, and I knew exactly
  • 54:22 - 54:27
    what he meant there. And it's not
    supposed to be done, especially in Thai
  • 54:27 - 54:31
    tradition, to put your hands out to a
    lay person out of respect. Well, I did
  • 54:31 - 54:38
    that. I respected that fellow, Sadhu
    Sadhu Sadhu, you've understood, you've
  • 54:38 - 54:46
    got it. There's no such thing as a
    person with schizophrenia. This person
  • 54:46 - 54:54
    who has schizophrenic moments, they're
    not always schizophrenic. There's
  • 54:54 - 55:00
    another part to them as well. They show
    schizophrenia. That's really so
  • 55:00 - 55:06
    debilitating often. What about the other
    part of them? You don't see the faults.
  • 55:06 - 55:13
    You see the other part, which is
    beautiful. And you go and see people in
  • 55:13 - 55:26
    jail, Murderers, gangsters. I remember
    seeing, was it Ronnie Kray, one of the
  • 55:26 - 55:33
    London Eastern gangsters once. You see
    all these people who've done some really
  • 55:33 - 55:40
    terrible, terrible, hurtful crimes, but
    I'd never saw a criminal. Never seen a
  • 55:40 - 55:42
    criminal, a thief, a rapist or murderer
    yet,
  • 55:43 - 55:48
    you see the person. A person who has
    done those terrible, terrible acts.
  • 55:48 - 55:53
    There's more to them than the acts for
    which they have been put in prison for.
  • 55:55 - 56:01
    You see, there's more to that person who's
    suffering from schizophrenia moments.
  • 56:02 - 56:07
    And that's what I was teaching. That's
    what the professor saw. Fault finding
  • 56:07 - 56:12
    mind just sees the faults and thinks
    that's all that's there. I just saw
  • 56:12 - 56:16
    there was just two bad bricks and I
    couldn't see any other bricks in my
  • 56:16 - 56:22
    wall. When it was pointed out to me, it
    wasn't such a bad wall after all. When
  • 56:22 - 56:26
    it's pointed out, that person is very
    sick and pointed out to them to. They
  • 56:26 - 56:33
    are more than their schizophrenic acts.
    Your husband, your wife, your poor kid
  • 56:33 - 56:40
    you love to bits, but is not doing that
    well at school. What do I always say, if
  • 56:40 - 56:48
    your kid is coming in the top 5% or
    bottom 5% at school, you are not a good
  • 56:48 - 56:59
    Buddhist parent. Buddhism, we celebrate
    the Middle Way. [laughter] Avoid
  • 56:59 - 57:06
    extremes. You may think that's just a
    joke. But that's actually quite
  • 57:06 - 57:09
    heartwarming for many people, because
    most people are in the middle there
  • 57:09 - 57:14
    somewhere. So if they happen to be
    smart, fine. But if they happen to be
  • 57:14 - 57:17
    dumb, and you think that's terrible.
    Come on, you can do better than that.
  • 57:17 - 57:28
    No, that's who they are. So when you
    acknowledge them right there and
  • 57:28 - 57:38
    they are your kid, your partner, your
    relation, that schizophrenia, episodes of.
  • 57:38 - 57:42
    They're right in front of you, how
    they're acting right now, the most
  • 57:42 - 57:45
    important thing in the world, care for
    them.
  • 57:46 - 57:52
    Don't try and cure them. Don't try and
    cure the two bad bricks in the wall.
  • 57:53 - 57:59
    They are the feature. Don't try and get
    rid of the faults in life,
  • 58:00 - 58:05
    The faults in the government. The faults
    in, what else, is the faults in the
  • 58:05 - 58:14
    weather. How about caring for it
    instead? And yourself, your meditation,
  • 58:15 - 58:21
    don't try and cure all the difficult
    things you experience in meditation.
  • 58:21 - 58:27
    I told that to many monks, if you have
    difficulty calming your mind, wonderful.
  • 58:28 - 58:34
    Because it's so much a longer journey
    into deep meditation for you. You find
  • 58:34 - 58:40
    it difficult, you'll be a far greater
    teacher than I can ever be because you
  • 58:40 - 58:45
    know you have all this wide experience
    of what it's like to get lost and how
  • 58:45 - 58:49
    it's like to get back on the path again.
    I've had too easy a life in my
  • 58:49 - 58:54
    meditation. So you'd be a much greater
    meditation teacher than I. Sadhu Sadhu
  • 58:54 - 59:02
    Sahu. In other words, you can see the
    benefits, whenever you have difficulties
  • 59:02 - 59:07
    and troubles in life. That's where we
    learn. That's where we grow. They're the
  • 59:07 - 59:16
    tests, whereby we learn much greater
    depth of wisdom, compassion, peace and
  • 59:16 - 59:22
    acceptance. We learn that you don't need
    to be perfect, for goodness sake.
  • 59:22 - 59:24
    If you are perfect, you'll be just a
    pain in the ..
  • 59:25 - 59:33
    in the a-double s. In other words, you
    know, you all have your difficult,
  • 59:34 - 59:40
    different idiosyncrasies. Like me, I
    tell these stupid jokes all the time.
  • 59:41 - 59:45
    Can I finish with that stupid joke about
    shopping? Did I tell that last week?
  • 59:46 - 59:54
    Okay. Where does a one-armed man go
    shopping?
  • 59:55 - 59:58
    Where does a man with only one arm
    go shopping?
  • 59:59 - 60:07
    In the second-hand shop. [Laughter]
    Thank you for putting up with me.
  • 60:07 - 60:11
    Sadhu, Sadhu Sadhu!
  • 60:17 - 60:22
    Sometimes that's what people ask, Who got
    to talk this evening, Ajahn Brahm?
  • 60:22 - 60:24
    what jokes did he tell?
  • 60:24 - 60:26
    And sometimes that's all people
    remember.
  • 60:26 - 60:29
    Anyway, we've got some questions
    from overseas.
  • 60:29 - 60:31
    First of all those who need to go back
    can go back now.
  • 60:31 - 60:34
    I promise I won't tell any bad jokes.
  • 60:34 - 60:37
    From Germany, how can I stop thinking
    of things I did wrong?
  • 60:37 - 60:40
    And I cannot say I'm sorry,
    because the people are dead.
  • 60:40 - 60:43
    They come up by themselves, I
    do not look, where do they come from?
  • 60:43 - 60:49
    Things you did wrong. All the things
    which you did in your life, if you think
  • 60:49 - 60:53
    they are wrong, don't ever think like
    that. They are learning experiences.
  • 60:53 - 60:59
    When you are at school, and you make a
    mistake, that's where you learn.
  • 60:59 - 61:04
    So you can't expect to be perfect,
    because we're learning here.
  • 61:06 - 61:12
    So thinking of things which you did
    wrong, doesn't help at all.
  • 61:12 - 61:15
    And we actually think way too much.
  • 61:15 - 61:18
    So instead of thinking, feel.
  • 61:20 - 61:23
    We celebrate thoughts too much
    in our culture.
  • 61:24 - 61:28
    We just don't celebrate,
    don't get rid of your thoughts.
  • 61:28 - 61:31
    Thoughts are great,
    but I think we're overdoing it.
  • 61:31 - 61:34
    And we're not feeling
    and experiencing much.
  • 61:34 - 61:39
    So, you may be going down the beach
    and you're thinking, thinking, thinking
  • 61:39 - 61:42
    and you are missing the
    beautiful sunset, which is happening.
  • 61:42 - 61:47
    Or you can be worried about COVID, that
    you can't travel here, can't travel there.
  • 61:47 - 61:52
    You can always travel to Bodhinyana
    Monastery or Dhammasara Monastery
  • 61:52 - 61:55
    and see the beautiful people there.
  • 61:55 - 61:59
    So, there's always different ways of
    looking at things.
  • 61:59 - 62:01
    So, don't think of things you did wrong.
  • 62:01 - 62:04
    How about thinking of things
    you did right.
  • 62:04 - 62:07
    If you think about the
    things you did right,
  • 62:07 - 62:09
    that's much better than thinking
    the things you did wrong.
  • 62:09 - 62:11
    But not thinking at all.
  • 62:11 - 62:14
    Then, instead of listening to the words
    going on in your brain,
  • 62:14 - 62:18
    you can see the life which is actually
    happening right now around you.
  • 62:18 - 62:22
    From Hong Kong, next question,
  • 62:22 - 62:26
    I'm living with a fault
    finding person finding faults with me.
  • 62:26 - 62:28
    How can I stay calm within myself?
  • 62:28 - 62:34
    Now you're finding fault with your partner
    because she finds faults with you.
  • 62:35 - 62:37
    [Laughter]
  • 62:37 - 62:39
    Allow her to find faults with you.
  • 62:40 - 62:44
    And suddenly she'd find a
    really good fault.
  • 62:44 - 62:47
    I don't know, can you laugh?
  • 62:47 - 62:51
    When people find fault with you,
    stupid things which you do.
  • 62:52 - 62:56
    So anyway, if you can have more
    lightheartedness,
  • 62:57 - 62:59
    you're living with a
    fault finding person.
  • 62:59 - 63:01
    But you are the same.
  • 63:01 - 63:02
    Are you a fault finding person?
  • 63:02 - 63:04
    Then probably say yeah, you're the same.
  • 63:04 - 63:07
    So you are a match after all.
  • 63:07 - 63:09
    But anyway, finding faults with you,
  • 63:09 - 63:15
    see if you can encourage the beautiful
    side of you to see that as well.
  • 63:15 - 63:17
    We all have faults,
  • 63:17 - 63:20
    I got many faults,
    Ananda's got many faults.
  • 63:20 - 63:26
    Each one of you got heaps of faults.
    You all know that, don't you?
  • 63:26 - 63:30
    So instead of finding faults. How about
    finding the beauty in somebody?
  • 63:30 - 63:34
    Their good qualities. Their kindness.
    Wonderful things they've done.
  • 63:34 - 63:36
    And celebrate that.
  • 63:36 - 63:38
    From Pennsylvania.
  • 63:38 - 63:42
    Dear Ajahn, how do you quiet the fault
    finding forces in your mind
  • 63:42 - 63:45
    ingrained in childhood by people you
    trusted like parents?
  • 63:45 - 63:48
    Yeah, you had that put in you.
  • 63:48 - 63:50
    You're not good enough.
    You're not smart enough.
  • 63:50 - 63:52
    You're not beautiful enough.
  • 63:52 - 63:57
    But then you tune in every Friday night
    to the BSWA
  • 63:57 - 64:00
    and you hear just how beautiful you are,
    how wonderful you are.
  • 64:01 - 64:11
    So treat me like a dad and Ananda
    like mum. [Laughter] Oh no, sorry,
  • 64:11 - 64:14
    Ayya Hasapanna, as a dad or mum.
  • 64:16 - 64:23
    And you'll find when you associate
    with wise people and smart people
  • 64:23 - 64:26
    rather than with people who are
    not really so highly attained,
  • 64:27 - 64:29
    then actually you get so much more uplift.
  • 64:30 - 64:34
    You know, sometimes people go to
    places like Bodhinyana Monastery.
  • 64:34 - 64:36
    I was just talking to
    Venerable Bodhidhaja,
  • 64:36 - 64:39
    how many monks are supposed to be
    there for the rains retreat.
  • 64:39 - 64:43
    There's a huge number of people coming for
    our rains retreat at Bodhinyana Monastery.
  • 64:43 - 64:46
    We keep on building new huts, they
    get filled up straight away.
  • 64:46 - 64:50
    And I think it's 23 or something.
  • 64:50 - 64:53
    Huge number of monks over
    there. Why do they like going there?
  • 64:54 - 64:57
    There's other monasteries which they
    don't want to go. Why?
  • 64:58 - 65:03
    Why do you like going to Bodhinyana
    Monastery or Jhana Grove or to here?
  • 65:03 - 65:06
    Why, instead of going somewhere
    else on a Friday night?
  • 65:07 - 65:12
    It's more than just peace.
    It's the kindness there.
  • 65:12 - 65:17
    The fact you are not judged.
    You find that you're accepted.
  • 65:18 - 65:21
    You know, how many of you are perfect?
    How many of you deserve
  • 65:21 - 65:23
    to go to Jhana Grove?
  • 65:24 - 65:27
    If you think like that,
    because none of you.
  • 65:27 - 65:30
    But then after a while
    you feel you're good enough.
  • 65:31 - 65:34
    This beautiful sense of seeing the
    beauty, the goodness, the strength,
  • 65:34 - 65:36
    the good qualities in yourself.
  • 65:38 - 65:42
    That's one of the reasons why
    Venerable Ananda and many others
  • 65:42 - 65:46
    during the start of COVID, we asked
    all these young monks to give talks,
  • 65:46 - 65:48
    and put them online.
  • 65:49 - 65:51
    Have a look at those talks.
  • 65:51 - 65:54
    These are young monks
    just starting off in life.
  • 65:54 - 65:57
    And they're brilliant,
    they're great.
  • 65:58 - 66:01
    And you tell them, it's great.
  • 66:01 - 66:05
    They'd say, "Oh, no, no, no, no,
    I'm not Ajahn Brahm or Ajahn Brahmali;
  • 66:05 - 66:08
    mine's not good." But, they are.
  • 66:08 - 66:12
    And after a while,
    you change your attitude that you are
  • 66:12 - 66:16
    someone who's a beautiful, kind,
    wise person.
  • 66:18 - 66:19
    Once you started,
  • 66:19 - 66:23
    It was a shock to me. When I
    started giving talks, they were hopeless.
  • 66:23 - 66:25
    They really were.
  • 66:25 - 66:30
    People walked out the room. Ajahn Brahm
    tonight, oh crikey, it's gonna be boring.
  • 66:31 - 66:38
    But then after a while, you learn, you
    grow and you find the beauty in things.
  • 66:39 - 66:42
    And that's amazing
    to be able to see that.
  • 66:42 - 66:46
    Remember that's after all...
    yes ingrained in childhood,
  • 66:46 - 66:52
    you have to work so hard to actually
    to live up to people's expectations.
  • 66:52 - 66:54
    When you stop trying that;
  • 66:55 - 66:58
    and this is the only time you have,
    this moment.
  • 66:58 - 67:02
    And the people in front of you are the
    most important people in the whole world.
  • 67:02 - 67:05
    And the only thing to do is to 'care'.
  • 67:05 - 67:08
    Can you do that? Can you care?
  • 67:08 - 67:12
    When you're by yourself,
    you see yourself with all your faults,
  • 67:12 - 67:16
    Care.
    Don't try and fix up your faults.
  • 67:17 - 67:21
    Sometimes, some of the senior people in
    our Buddhist Society,
  • 67:21 - 67:24
    "Ajahn Brahm, you should,
    you know we really care about you,
  • 67:24 - 67:28
    you should learn how to
    lose some weight."
  • 67:30 - 67:35
    I said, "No! Because if I did that,
  • 67:35 - 67:38
    I'd embarrass all the other monks
    who are overweight.
  • 67:38 - 67:41
    So I sacrifice myself for all the other
  • 67:41 - 67:46
    members of our Buddhist Society
    who are overweight."
  • 67:46 - 67:50
    So, they can say, "See Ajahn Brahm,
    I follow Ajahn Brahm."
  • 67:50 - 67:53
    [laughter]
  • 67:53 - 67:56
    Out of kindness, we do that.
  • 67:56 - 68:01
    So in other words, you don't try
    and kill yourself. Care for yourself.
  • 68:02 - 68:06
    Anyway, from Portugal.
    How can I overcome....
  • 68:06 - 68:09
    And your parents... you trusted them,
  • 68:09 - 68:13
    they tried to do their best .. trying
    and make you into a beautiful person.
  • 68:13 - 68:16
    But sometimes we try and make
    someone into a good person,
  • 68:16 - 68:18
    we criticise them too much.
  • 68:18 - 68:21
    Yeah, your parents criticise
    you way too much.
  • 68:22 - 68:25
    They didn't realise they're doing
    something which was hurtful.
  • 68:25 - 68:27
    They're trying to encourage you
    to do much better.
  • 68:27 - 68:31
    But how many times do I criticise you,
    Ananda?
  • 68:31 - 68:35
    How many times should I
    criticise you? [laughter]
  • 68:35 - 68:39
    I find that that's not the way to
    get the best out of people.
  • 68:40 - 68:45
    Build them up. Praise them whenever
    they do something good.
  • 68:45 - 68:47
    And then they just want to do better.
  • 68:48 - 68:52
    From Portugal, how can I come..
    Oh, how can I overcome
  • 68:52 - 68:56
    long-time hate I feel for my father's
    past violent behaviour?
  • 68:56 - 69:00
    Oh you poor. I'm saying this as poor you
    because I'm not quite sure what he did.
  • 69:00 - 69:04
    But your poor father, he probably still
    loves you and feels very embarrassed
  • 69:04 - 69:07
    about that and he didn't
    really know what to do.
  • 69:08 - 69:14
    Because sometimes we react out of
    what we think is the best.
  • 69:15 - 69:18
    But it all goes pear-shaped,
    we don't do the right thing.
  • 69:19 - 69:22
    So eventually, hopefully
    your father will learn
  • 69:22 - 69:27
    but getting angry at him or
    trying to push him out of your life
  • 69:27 - 69:31
    is not going to help your father at all.
  • 69:33 - 69:38
    Okay, here's a bit of a two- or
    three-minute story,
  • 69:38 - 69:41
    as many of you know,
    because I've said it a few times before.
  • 69:42 - 69:48
    My father... he was a very kind man.
    But he would never tell me about
  • 69:48 - 69:51
    my paternal grandfather,
    my father's dad.
  • 69:51 - 69:55
    And it was frustrating for me
    every time I asked him,
  • 69:55 - 69:58
    "How was my grandfather like,
    in Liverpool?"
  • 69:58 - 70:01
    He then asked me, "Be quiet".
  • 70:02 - 70:07
    And then eventually when I was about
    14 or 15, I got it out of my dad.
  • 70:07 - 70:13
    I was persistent, "You got to tell
    me because this is my family.
  • 70:13 - 70:17
    I never saw them because they died during
    the second World War before I was born.
  • 70:17 - 70:23
    So, how was my paternal grandfather like,
    and that is when my dad said,
  • 70:23 - 70:25
    please excuse the word,
    but this is what he said.
  • 70:25 - 70:29
    He said,
    "Your grandfather was a bastard."
  • 70:30 - 70:34
    He said it was just so much
    pain in him. That shocked me.
  • 70:34 - 70:35
    I said, "Why?"
  • 70:36 - 70:42
    He said he was not a sexual offender,
    but a physical offender.
  • 70:43 - 70:49
    He would come home, almost every evening,
    drunk. He was a plumber.
  • 70:49 - 70:53
    He'd come back drunk,
    and he'd take off his belt.
  • 70:53 - 70:57
    He'd whip any kid, which you know,
    he came across.
  • 70:57 - 71:02
    And then he would start beating
    his wife, my dad's mum.
  • 71:03 - 71:10
    My dad often said that, the pain of just
    the end of the belt for no reason at all,
  • 71:10 - 71:12
    just my father was drunk.
  • 71:13 - 71:18
    That would never hurt as much as seeing
    his mother beaten, for no reason at all.
  • 71:18 - 71:23
    He said that really hurt,
    because he could do nothing
  • 71:23 - 71:29
    to help someone he loved, my
    paternal grandmother, whom I never saw.
  • 71:31 - 71:36
    But why I say this story for is what my
    father did about that.
  • 71:36 - 71:38
    He was a child at the time,
  • 71:38 - 71:42
    he could do nothing, except to
    make this resolution.
  • 71:42 - 71:44
    He told me, he shared it with me
    this time.
  • 71:44 - 71:48
    He said, "When I was at the end of a
    beating for no reason,
  • 71:48 - 71:53
    just because my father was drunk,
    I made this resolution that
  • 71:53 - 71:59
    if ever I survive and have kids myself;
    and of course he did, me and my brother.
  • 71:59 - 72:04
    If ever I survive, I will never ever do
    that to my kids.
  • 72:04 - 72:07
    I won't use corporal punishment at all.
  • 72:07 - 72:10
    I'd always remember that.
  • 72:10 - 72:12
    Because I remember several times,
  • 72:12 - 72:14
    brother and I were naughty,
    just ordinary kids.
  • 72:15 - 72:19
    And sometimes, he'd come into
    our bedroom with a slipper.
  • 72:19 - 72:21
    He just couldn't do it.
  • 72:21 - 72:24
    He'd just put the slipper down
    and walked out,
  • 72:24 - 72:27
    because he remembered just
    what it was like for him.
  • 72:28 - 72:32
    And he said, he'd made that
    resolution and he was going to keep it
  • 72:33 - 72:38
    When he told me that, it really inspired
    me that even if you have been physically
  • 72:38 - 72:45
    abused by someone, you can turn that
    into something beautiful,
  • 72:45 - 72:46
    like my father did.
  • 72:47 - 72:53
    He said, "He knows what it's like,
    so he would never do that to anybody."
  • 72:54 - 72:57
    That was really moving when he told me
    that story.
  • 72:57 - 72:59
    That's why I shared with you.
  • 72:59 - 73:02
    Hey, I feel for your father. Don't know
    why your father did that.
  • 73:02 - 73:05
    I sort of understand why my grandfather,
  • 73:05 - 73:08
    Once you get drunk,
    his life had very little meaning.
  • 73:08 - 73:12
    Depression is struggling to get by.
    Big house,
  • 73:12 - 73:16
    The only fun he had was going
    to the pub and getting drunk.
  • 73:16 - 73:20
    And it was the beer
    which is causing that violence.
  • 73:21 - 73:24
    Anyway, last question from Singapore.
  • 73:24 - 73:28
    Of course I can understand this
    is from Singapore.
  • 73:28 - 73:31
    How do you balance pushing forward
    working hard,
  • 73:31 - 73:35
    despite sickness or tiredness and
    being kind to your body
  • 73:35 - 73:38
    because it's tough in places
    like Singapore
  • 73:38 - 73:41
    because everybody works
    really, really really, really hard.
  • 73:41 - 73:47
    And just like Ajahn Santhutthi and
    Ajahn Brahmali working all night,
  • 73:47 - 73:50
    to finish off the ...
    actually they sent me to bed,
  • 73:50 - 73:53
    "Go off Ajahn Brahm, you gotta look after
    people tomorrow morning."
  • 73:53 - 73:57
    And doing all that work on the
    bamboo floor.
  • 73:59 - 74:02
    They did that because it was a great
    sacrifice for their body.
  • 74:02 - 74:06
    And I didn't actually go to the point
    that sometimes I work very hard.
  • 74:08 - 74:11
    Crazy stuff I did with when I was
    teaching,
  • 74:11 - 74:17
    going off to flying to Singapore.
    And as soon as you land giving a talk,
  • 74:17 - 74:22
    and then just starting a retreat and the
    amount of hours that you count them,
  • 74:22 - 74:25
    just talking to people and
    teaching, which is endless.
  • 74:26 - 74:28
    You get very very tired but you
    keep on going.
  • 74:28 - 74:32
    And one of the things which I got lots of
    energy out is from inspiration.
  • 74:33 - 74:39
    Pushing hard forward, working hard.
    This is for a really important goal.
  • 74:39 - 74:43
    Like finishing off a retreat centre.
    That's amazing.
  • 74:43 - 74:48
    A retreat centre so you can go meditate
    in comfort and beauty,
  • 74:49 - 74:54
    Or it's like building like a
    nuns monastery.
  • 74:55 - 74:57
    I always get inspired by bhikkhunis
  • 74:57 - 75:01
    because I know how rare that
    is and how beautiful it is to have equity.
  • 75:02 - 75:09
    You have people of
    both genders able to live a monastic life
  • 75:09 - 75:11
    just like everybody else.
  • 75:12 - 75:18
    It's rare here getting people who are
    gays, lesbians, transgenders, whatever,
  • 75:18 - 75:20
    come in welcome.
  • 75:21 - 75:24
    They are not just rejected,
    which is crazy stuff.
  • 75:25 - 75:28
    So anyway, we push forward.
  • 75:28 - 75:34
    And of course, sometimes,
    I just get suffering from that,
  • 75:34 - 75:37
    punished for that physically.
    But I get so inspired.
  • 75:37 - 75:42
    And being rejected from all those friends
    I grew up with as a monk, in Thailand,
  • 75:42 - 75:45
    when I gave the ordination to bhikkhunis.
  • 75:47 - 75:49
    They said, "Do you regret that,
    Ajahn Brahm?"
  • 75:49 - 75:53
    Not a tiny bit, it's a beautiful
    inspirational thing to do.
  • 75:54 - 75:57
    To sacrifice so much, you push forward,
  • 75:57 - 76:00
    you work hard, sickness, tiredness;
    no it needs to be done.
  • 76:00 - 76:02
    So you just go and do it.
  • 76:03 - 76:06
    Inspiration is what I use to
    overcome tiredness,
  • 76:06 - 76:09
    if it's something which really
    needs to be done,
  • 76:09 - 76:11
    worthwhile doing, get out there and do it.
  • 76:12 - 76:15
    Physically, you feel tired at the
    end of the day,
  • 76:15 - 76:18
    but emotionally, you feel just so high.
  • 76:18 - 76:21
    And at the end of the week,
    when you're caught up on your rest,
  • 76:22 - 76:25
    you feel so wonderful, that was
    really worthwhile doing.
  • 76:25 - 76:28
    So whenever you see something
    which really needs to be done,
  • 76:28 - 76:31
    don't think about physical tiredness.
  • 76:31 - 76:36
    You will get physically tired,
    but emotionally, you get a big high,
  • 76:36 - 76:42
    a huge amount of energy for your
    mind. And that's much more important.
  • 76:43 - 76:48
    People otherwise get depressed.
    They get fed up. What's the point?
  • 76:49 - 76:53
    Because they haven't done anything,
    which really amounts to something.
  • 76:54 - 76:57
    So it's amazing what you've all done here.
  • 76:57 - 77:02
    Even those working in the room back there
    doing the IT stuff,
  • 77:03 - 77:06
    making these talks available
    to the world.
  • 77:07 - 77:12
    And now, oh they've taken it
    down the YouTube thing.
  • 77:12 - 77:14
    we had a big thing there,
  • 77:14 - 77:18
    just how many people come to.. listen in
    every week from overseas.
  • 77:18 - 77:22
    It's a huge number. Oh they've put it
    somewhere else. Okay,
  • 77:22 - 77:24
    it's up there somewhere. But anyway,
  • 77:24 - 77:31
    it's amazing how much this goes
    around to so many people in our world.
  • 77:31 - 77:35
    And everyone, because we want
    some more people to help
  • 77:35 - 77:38
    out with the audio-visual work.
  • 77:40 - 77:43
    It's a huge amount of good kamma
    doing things like that.
  • 77:43 - 77:47
    I can give a talk, Ajahn Brahmali can give
    a talk, Ayya Hasapanna can give talks,
  • 77:48 - 77:52
    Venerable Munissara can give a
    retreat down in Jhana Grove this weekend.
  • 77:52 - 77:58
    But to share that around with people
    in places where you don't have any access
  • 77:58 - 78:04
    at all to such teachings,
    that is magnificent!
  • 78:04 - 78:09
    They always say; the Sri Lankans here,
    or those people who know their suttas.
  • 78:09 - 78:12
    The gift of Dhamma is the greatest gift
    you can ever give.
  • 78:13 - 78:19
    And help share that with other people
    in the world. Woah that's huge.
  • 78:19 - 78:21
    You don't realise it.
  • 78:22 - 78:27
    Finish off with one of those
    silly stories just came to my mind.
  • 78:27 - 78:33
    Last time I was in the UK,
    just getting off the Underground,
  • 78:33 - 78:38
    going to Paddington station to get to
    Oxford where I was going to give a talk.
  • 78:38 - 78:43
    Just walking through Paddington Station,
    just minding my own business.
  • 78:43 - 78:47
    And this woman came
    running towards me and said,
  • 78:47 - 78:50
    "Are you the YouTube monk?" [laughter]
  • 78:50 - 78:54
    That's what she called me
    "the YouTube monk".
  • 78:54 - 78:57
    And then, I didn't have time to answer.
    She looked me in the face.
  • 78:57 - 78:59
    "Yes, you are."
  • 79:00 - 79:06
    And then she said, "I just want to say
    thank you to you. You saved my life".
  • 79:06 - 79:08
    She was going through a divorce,
  • 79:08 - 79:11
    oh not a divorce, a separation from her
    long term partner.
  • 79:12 - 79:18
    And that she got
    really depressed, suicidal.
  • 79:19 - 79:22
    Doctor couldn't help,
    psychologist couldn't help,
  • 79:22 - 79:25
    psychiatrists, whoever she saw,
    none of them could help.
  • 79:25 - 79:30
    And then she was just
    at the end of her rope, as they say;
  • 79:30 - 79:35
    And then she just managed somehow
    or other, to get on YouTube.
  • 79:35 - 79:40
    And I think she got that one of my
    famous talks 'four ways of letting go'.
  • 79:40 - 79:45
    And she listened to it and
    "wow It made so much sense".
  • 79:45 - 79:48
    She listed about three or four that time,
    one after the other.
  • 79:48 - 79:51
    She said that got her through her crisis.
  • 79:51 - 79:53
    She told all her friends,
  • 79:53 - 79:57
    "You must go and listen to these things
    as well from the BSWA, all for free."
  • 79:57 - 80:05
    And then, afterwards, she said, "Thank you
    Thank you so much for saving my life."
  • 80:05 - 80:11
    Not me, I did my bit. But each one of you
    who made that talk available.
  • 80:11 - 80:18
    So a young woman,
    she was Afro-English over in UK,
  • 80:19 - 80:23
    could have her life saved and have so
    much joy and happiness meeting,
  • 80:23 - 80:25
    sort of the YouTube monk
  • 80:26 - 80:29
    and all the people who
    made that possible.
  • 80:29 - 80:34
    So if you have a little bit of time,
    you don't have to come here to do this.
  • 80:34 - 80:35
    You can be wherever,
  • 80:35 - 80:40
    if you have some time, internet skills,
    wonderful thing to be able to do,
  • 80:40 - 80:42
    serve and you're part of it.
  • 80:43 - 80:52
    I see that head on, face on just the
    amount of effect this has in our world.
  • 80:52 - 80:56
    Huge sometimes you don't realise that
  • 80:56 - 81:01
    you come here on a Friday evening how
    many thousands of people, how many is it
  • 81:01 - 81:06
    just on a like a Friday night talk get
    online?
  • 81:06 - 81:09
    I know that for the
    Four Ways of Letting Go,
  • 81:09 - 81:13
    it's been over a million downloads,
    isn't it?
  • 81:13 - 81:18
    Normally, on Friday nights
    we've got about 600 people online.
  • 81:18 - 81:21
    but when they download it afterwards?
  • 81:22 - 81:26
    Okay there's much more than that
    because I think that
  • 81:26 - 81:30
    "Four Ways of Letting Go"
    went over a million.
  • 81:30 - 81:38
    A million people in the world watched
    that. Huge. Goosebumps. So anyway,
  • 81:38 - 81:41
    that's actually hard work
    but you just push forward
  • 81:41 - 81:45
    because it inspires you and you get
    a huge amount of energy back.
  • 81:46 - 81:52
    Okay, any other questions from the floor?
    Okay,
  • 81:52 - 81:54
    You don't need to read people's minds,
  • 81:54 - 81:56
    one of the most important
    questions at this time is
  • 81:56 - 81:59
    "Can we go now?"
  • 81:59 - 82:01
    So, we can now bow three times to
    Buddha Dhamma Sangha
  • 82:01 - 82:06
    then we can go our own ways.
  • 82:12 - 82:27
    Araham samma-sambuddho bhagava
    Buddham bhagavantam abhivademi.
  • 82:29 - 82:40
    Svakkhato bhavata dhammo.
    Dhammam namasami.
  • 82:41 - 82:52
    Supatipanno bhagavato
    savaka-sangho. Sangham namami.
Title:
The Fault Finding Mind | Ajahn Brahm | 7 May 2021
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Team:
Buddhist Society of Western Australia
Project:
Friday Night Dhamma Talks
Duration:
01:24:05

English subtitles

Revisions