Your Face is a Saxophone -- Episode 2 -- Miss Anthropy
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0:00 - 0:03Previously on Your Face is a Saxophone
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0:03 - 0:09Look, Boss, Andrew is, uh, enthusiastic, but things just really haven't been the same since we lost Tommy.
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0:09 - 0:11-Hi, Eddie?
-Yes! -
0:11 - 0:12So you're the new Tommy?
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0:12 - 0:14Oh, dude, you gotta check this out, look look look, check it out, check it out, bro.
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0:14 - 0:16It means "awesome" in Asian.
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0:16 - 0:23I'm the big man around here! I make the decisions! And I get the big, fat bonus at the end of the fiscal year!
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0:23 - 0:24Andrew is a prick.
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0:24 - 0:27Your cut is...zero dollars and zero cents, Mr. Boulder!
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0:27 - 0:28Go die in a fire.
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0:28 - 0:30This is not the kind of reputation we should be spreading!
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0:30 - 0:32Do you have a better idea, dick-smack?
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0:32 - 0:34I do! We should be nice to people!
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0:34 - 0:36How 'bout we A/B this?
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0:36 - 0:40We'll go with your strategy, then with Andrew's strategy, and see what the data says.
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0:40 - 0:42You're goin' DOWN, bitch!
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0:42 - 0:43You have a three-inch penis.
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1:06 - 1:09Hey! Pap smear! Send me that CPM report from yesterday!
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1:11 - 1:14Normally, I'd just ignore you, but…
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1:15 - 1:16WHAT did you call me?
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1:17 - 1:18Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I said it. Anyway!
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1:18 - 1:20CPM report! Email it! Chop chop!
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1:20 - 1:23It's on the server! Get it yourself!
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1:25 - 1:26Uh huh. Yeah.
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1:27 - 1:30So. Hey. You wanna get dinner tonight?
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1:30 - 1:34Isn't there a sexual harassment policy in this office?
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1:35 - 1:38Geez! I'm just askin' if you wanna get dinner.
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1:38 - 1:43You have asked me that EVERY single day since I broke up with you
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1:43 - 1:46And EVERY single time, I have responded
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1:46 - 1:49With some permutation of "Go fuck yourself!"
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1:50 - 1:54Why don't you use your chart-making skills and analyze that trend?¡
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1:57 - 1:58So…you wanna get dinner?
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1:59 - 2:01I wanna stab you in the testicles.
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2:01 - 2:03Helvetica's totally better than Myriad!
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2:03 - 2:06Are you kidding? It's boring. Everyone uses it now.
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2:06 - 2:08Yeah, why do think everyone uses it? 'Cause it's awesome!
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2:08 - 2:12It's cliché. And besides, it's all bland and square-y and…
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2:12 - 2:14I don't know, it's just too Grotesque for me.
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2:14 - 2:17-It's not gross! How is it gross? It's not gross at all!
-Blake! Get back to work! -
2:18 - 2:20I don't have any work! You haven't given us a project yet.
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2:20 - 2:22You don't look busy! Employees are supposed to look busy!
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2:22 - 2:25-B-b-but I--
-No buts! I'm a boss! I'm acting like a boss! Go act like you're busy! -
2:25 - 2:26Aww…
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2:27 - 2:29Eddie! Are you working? Are you hard at work?
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2:29 - 2:32Well, we don't have a project yet, so actually I'm just --
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2:32 - 2:34You look like you're working! Keep up the good work!
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2:37 - 2:38Hey! There we go!
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2:39 - 2:40[BOSS:] Leora! Are you working?
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2:42 - 2:44Hellllllo there!
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2:48 - 2:49-Ow!
-Sorry! -
2:49 - 2:53Okay, team! I'm glad we all had such a productive morning!
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2:53 - 2:55We didn't do anything, Boss. There wasn't anything to do.
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2:55 - 2:58And it got done in record time! Give yourselves a hand!
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3:00 - 3:07Now, you may remember on Friday, we decided to have a little bit of a shooooooowdooooooown!
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3:07 - 3:10[CRICKETS CHIRP]
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3:10 - 3:14So! Conveniently enough, we have two new clients who need us to
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3:14 - 3:17Amplify their brand experience with engaging and relevant content!
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3:17 - 3:22It's a perfect opportunity for us to see which strategy is the most breakthrough at leveraging influencers
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3:22 - 3:24And igniting organic conversations!
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3:24 - 3:26What the fuck does that mean?
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3:26 - 3:30I think he's talking about me versus Andrew, somehow.
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3:30 - 3:32First order of business: teams!
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3:32 - 3:36In this corner: Edward Tungsten-Cohen!
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3:36 - 3:39And his team members: Kevin, Leora, and Blake!
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3:39 - 3:41All right! I'm on Team Edward!
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3:42 - 3:45And in this corner! Andrew Sholes!
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3:45 - 3:46And his team members:
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3:46 - 3:49Janet, Michael, Robert, Puneet, Philip, Jason, Ivan, Marty, Kirk!
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3:49 - 3:52Wait! Why does he get more people than me?
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3:52 - 3:53You don't want 'em.
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3:53 - 3:58They're his marketroid posse people things.
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3:58 - 4:01Now! Andrew! Your clients will be here in just a moment!
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4:01 - 4:02[INTERCOM BEEPS] Leila?
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4:02 - 4:04-Yes?
-Aagh! Oh god! -
4:05 - 4:07Um, uh, please, uh
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4:07 - 4:09Let the Schwab folks in? Thanks.
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4:10 - 4:11[BOSS SHUDDERS UNCOMFORTABLY]
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4:12 - 4:16Anyway! Eddie! Your clients are waiting in the downstairs conference room!
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4:16 - 4:19-We have a downstairs conference room?
-We have a downstairs? -
4:19 - 4:25So get those meetings going, team, and let's get ready for some marketing!
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4:27 - 4:30So, you gentlemen are from MillerCoors?
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4:30 - 4:37Yes. We'd like to expand the market of our Miller Lite premium reduced-calorie pilsner beverage
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4:37 - 4:39To target consumers in the female demographic,
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4:39 - 4:44But without compromising the brand's tried-and-true message of hyper-masculinity
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4:44 - 4:46And misogynistic behavior.
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4:47 - 4:51I…see.
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4:51 - 4:54Wow, Zac! Beer ads are misogynistic?
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4:54 - 4:58That's so insightful¡ Nobody has ever made that observation before¡
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4:58 - 5:03Well, it's still happening, so obviously we need to keep pointing it out.
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5:03 - 5:06Or you're an unoriginal, talentless hack.
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5:07 - 5:08Yeah, that too.
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5:09 - 5:19♫Don't you wanna tell 'em what they really want? / Yeah, and don't you wanna tell 'em all where they should shop?♫
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5:19 - 5:24♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
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5:24 - 5:28♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
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5:30 - 5:40♫Yeah, and don't you wanna get yourself control of their minds / Yeah, and don't you wanna keep it till the end of time?♫
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5:40 - 5:45♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
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5:45 - 5:50♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫
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5:51 - 5:57♫Well, it may be a lie and it may not make sense♫
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5:57 - 6:00♫But it's bound to catch an eye or two♫
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6:11 - 6:14Is your wallet stuffed up and congested with money?
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6:19 - 6:24But Sudafed has fast-acting high prices to unclog all that cash instantly!
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6:24 - 6:28You can't get THAT kind of fast-acting power when you buy generic!
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6:28 - 6:33Sudafed: Because "pseudoephedrine" is such a big word.
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6:40 - 6:44Look, asshole! You don't have any right to call me a pretentious yuppie douchebag!
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6:44 - 6:48You're supposed to be a genius, so shut the fuck up and fix my god damn iPad!
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6:50 - 6:51I'm not a douchebag.
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6:54 - 6:57Okay, bitches! Everyone drop everything and come pay attention to me!
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6:59 - 7:02-Uh, I was kinda busy working on--
-Shut up, diversity quota, nobody asked you. -
7:03 - 7:06Now. Can someone remind me who the hell it was we were supposed to be meeting with?
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7:06 - 7:08I honestly couldn't be bothered enough to pay attention.
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7:08 - 7:10It vas Charles Schwab, ze investment firm.
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7:10 - 7:13I know that, you commie bastard! It was a rhetorical question!
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7:13 - 7:16-No it vasn't!
-Why are you still talking? -
7:16 - 7:19Go get alcohol poisoning from vodka, or whatever you people do.
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7:19 - 7:23Okay, Charles Schwab, uhhhh, what do they do, they let you buy stocks and shit, right?
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7:24 - 7:26Anyone? Hello?
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7:27 - 7:29-Are we allowed to answer?
-Are you allowed to--? -
7:29 - 7:32What the fuck kind of question is that?! Yes, you're allowed to answer!
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7:32 - 7:34Why would I ask something if I didn't want an answer?
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7:34 - 7:37-Because you ask rhetorical ques--
-THAT was another rhetorical question, dumbass! -
7:37 - 7:39Jesus fucking christ, this guy…
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7:39 - 7:40[DEEP BREATH]
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7:40 - 7:41Oh my god!
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7:41 - 7:43All right. Now is ANYBODY gonna answer my question?
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7:44 - 7:46Yes, they let you buy stocks.
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7:46 - 7:49-They're a stock broker.
-I KNOW they let you buy stocks! I just SAID that! -
7:49 - 7:51You people are FUCKING killing me today!
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7:52 - 7:54I was asking: who's the demographic we're tryin' to reach?
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7:54 - 7:56Nooooo you weren't.
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7:56 - 7:58Excuse me, how do you know what I was asking?
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7:58 - 8:00-Clearly I don't¡
-Are you inside my head? -
8:00 - 8:04-No¡
-Do you have any understanding of my own personal thought processes that go on inside my brain? -
8:04 - 8:07-Absolutely not¡
-No! You don't. So! -
8:07 - 8:09You don't get to tell me what I was asking, because I,
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8:09 - 8:12Of all people, would know exactly what that was, and YOU would not!
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8:13 - 8:14Hey, uh, can I get by?
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8:14 - 8:15Go around!
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8:15 - 8:18I can't go around! My cubicle's right behind you guys!
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8:18 - 8:20-So climb!
-Wh-what? -
8:20 - 8:24Now! Where was I before we were so RUDELY interrupted?
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8:28 - 8:30-Uh, you vere…
-Did I look like I was done talking?! -
8:30 - 8:35Demographics! We need to reach upper middle-class professionals, 35 to 59.
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8:35 - 8:37That's our market for Charles Schwab.
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8:37 - 8:39The guys from Schwab said they wanted 18 to 34.
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8:39 - 8:41They wanna reach more young people.
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8:41 - 8:43Did I ask for your OPINION?
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8:43 - 8:47That's the client's opinion! We're supposed to be doing what the client wants.
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8:47 - 8:48[BLAKE SCREAMS; STUFF CRASHES]
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8:48 - 8:51Okay, Janet, you know what? You know what?!
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8:51 - 8:54You're not supposed to talk! Your job is to stand there
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8:54 - 8:57And be a PAIR OF TITS for me to look at! Okay?!
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8:57 - 8:59Uh…um…
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9:02 - 9:03I just asked you a question!
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9:03 - 9:09[COPY MACHINE BEEPS, WHIRRS]
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9:09 - 9:11It came out a little bit blue, didn't it?
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9:11 - 9:13It's fine. This is just a mock-up.
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9:13 - 9:15Oh, yeah yeah yeah, right.
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9:17 - 9:19So, did you get that thing with your apartment worked out?
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9:19 - 9:21Oh, yeah, it's all fine now.
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9:21 - 9:27I spent an hour on the phone with Con Ed, and they'd gotten a cancellation request or something?
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9:27 - 9:30I don't know. It was so weird.
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9:30 - 9:33But anyway, power's back on…landlord doesn't think I'm broke…
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9:33 - 9:38I…have to replace a lot of what was in the refrigerator.
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9:38 - 9:40Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry.
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9:40 - 9:44So, what, someone else just called them up and told them to cut your power off?
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9:44 - 9:46-I guess so.
-Who would do that? -
9:46 - 9:49Well…Andrew, maybe.
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9:49 - 9:51He likes to mess with my head.
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9:51 - 9:53He'd be able to convince Con Ed that he lived at your apartment?
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9:53 - 9:58-Ow! Uh, let's just not get into that.
-Are you okay? -
9:58 - 10:00Yeah, I'm fine.
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10:00 - 10:02Hey! You guys remember Pepsi Nano?
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10:02 - 10:02Yeah?
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10:03 - 10:05Well, hehe, it got recalled.
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10:05 - 10:06Really?
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10:06 - 10:09Yeah, says here everybody who drank it got real sick.
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10:09 - 10:13-There was even this one lady who needed a liver transpla--
-Heyyyy! Kevin! -
10:13 - 10:18I totally think I might've a little bit sort of…
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10:19 - 10:21-Brokenyourcomputer HEY! That looks great!
-Wait, what? -
10:21 - 10:24-Thank you!
-Yeah, definitely diggin' the blood splatter on her skirt right there! -
10:24 - 10:27-That's badass!
-What blood spatter?
-It looks so real, too! -
10:27 - 10:29Hey, whatdja say about my computer?!
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10:29 - 10:30Oh shit! I'm really bleeding!
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10:30 - 10:32Whoa, you're using real blood in that?
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10:32 - 10:34Damn, Leora, you're hardcore!
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10:34 - 10:37Uh, do you need, like, a band-aid or somethin'?
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10:37 - 10:38I think I need more than a…
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10:38 - 10:41Uh, tissues! Get me some tissues!
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10:41 - 10:43-Where are they?
-Yo, what was that about breaking my computer? -
10:43 - 10:46They're up on the shelf, with the thing!
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10:46 - 10:46What thing?
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10:46 - 10:48The thing on the shelf with the stuff!
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10:48 - 10:51-You know, the thing!
-Okay, I'm getting a little dizzy here. -
10:51 - 10:54Well, howdy-ho, team! Looks like there's a change of plans!
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10:54 - 10:57Kevin! You're on Team Andrew now! We're swapping you with Janet!
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10:57 - 11:00Whoa, whoa, what? No! Why do I have to go there?
[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] -
11:00 - 11:02Why can't we just have five people?
[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] -
11:02 - 11:03He's already got a bajillion!
[LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] -
11:03 - 11:06Okay, what is she doing here? She's an accountant!
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11:06 - 11:07I'm bleeding! What's happening?!
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11:07 - 11:09Okay, Eddie, y'know the thing with the buttons?
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11:09 - 11:11-The scanner?
-Yeah, it's on that shelf! -
11:11 - 11:12-Where?
-Right next to it! -
11:12 - 11:14Next to it whe--? Oh. Auggh! It's empty!
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11:14 - 11:17What the HELL do you mean, it's empty?!
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11:17 - 11:20Okay, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.
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11:20 - 11:23I'm sure you'll all manage JUST fine with Janet here!
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11:23 - 11:25Oh, wow! That's really nice, Leora!
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11:25 - 11:26Has the client seen it yet?
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11:26 - 11:27[THUD]
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11:45 - 11:47-Hey, are you okay from earli--?
-I'm fine! -
11:48 - 11:50Okay, I was just worried that--
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11:50 - 11:52You know what? I don't need your sympathy!
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11:52 - 11:55I'm not trying to impress you, and I don't care what you think.
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11:55 - 11:59And I don't appreciate you coming in here and disrupting the group dynamic
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11:59 - 12:02That I have worked SO hard to maintain
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12:03 - 12:08Which is NOT an easy thing to do when we have to breathe the same air as people like YOU all day!
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12:08 - 12:11Punch THAT into your little spreadsheet, why don'tcha?¡
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12:12 - 12:14Geez, I was just tryin' to be nice.
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12:14 - 12:16[SIGH] You're right.
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12:17 - 12:18I apologize.
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12:19 - 12:23But I don't want you stepping on our creative decisions. Okay?
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12:24 - 12:25[EDDIE:] Have a seat, gentlemen.
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12:26 - 12:29So, we've planned this great campaign for you
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12:29 - 12:34With some imagery that can be deployed in print, on billboards, on television, and on Facebook.
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12:34 - 12:36[DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS]
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12:36 - 12:37[CHAIR CREAKS]
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12:37 - 12:39Um…hi…
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12:39 - 12:41Mark Zuckerberg. What are you doing here?
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12:41 - 12:43Just chillin'.
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12:43 - 12:45Ooookay, why are you here?
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12:46 - 12:49Well, I heard you guys were gonna use Facebook, so I figured, y'know, I could just
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12:49 - 12:51Like, swing by, hang out, it's all good, man!
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12:51 - 12:55Uh, well…actually, this is a
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12:55 - 12:57Business meeting, and it's supposed to be private.
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12:57 - 12:58What, you got somethin' to hide?
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12:58 - 13:00No! No! Not really! We just, uh,
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13:00 - 13:02Appreciate a little, uh…
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13:03 - 13:05This is just between us and our clients.
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13:05 - 13:06Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool.
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13:06 - 13:09I mean, everybody has business meetings. Nothing to be ashamed of.
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13:10 - 13:14Right. Okay. I'm just gonna, uh…
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13:14 - 13:15Okay.
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13:16 - 13:17Gentlemen!
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13:17 - 13:20You wanted to both sell to, and objectify, women at the same time.
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13:20 - 13:23So! We have for you a campaign that
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13:23 - 13:26To the Y chromosome, seems like a teenage fantasy
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13:26 - 13:29But! To the X chromosome, empowers and emboldens!
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13:29 - 13:31Allow us to introduce you to:
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13:31 - 13:33Miller Lite! Kick some ass!
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13:33 - 13:38We went with the "warrior princess" theme as a way to subvert the conventional
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13:38 - 13:39"Barely-dressed woman" thing
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13:39 - 13:42And in turn, use it not for sexualization
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13:42 - 13:44But for female empowerment.
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13:44 - 13:46But you need to, to, uh…
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13:46 - 13:49To think about that a bit to really realize what it means.
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13:49 - 13:53Because on the surface, your typical male base sees another hot girl
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13:53 - 13:56But from a female perspective, it's, uh…
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13:56 - 13:58It's all like, "You go, girl!" And stuff like that!
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13:58 - 14:00-Oh yeah!
-Exactly! -
14:02 - 14:03So! What do ya think?
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14:03 - 14:05-Crap!
-Terrible! -
14:05 - 14:06Unusable!
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14:06 - 14:10What? Uh, okay, what are the, uhm…
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14:10 - 14:12Issues we need to work on?
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14:12 - 14:14It's not nearly misogynistic enough.
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14:14 - 14:18In fact, I'd say it's not actually misogynistic at all!
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14:19 - 14:22W-well, on one level, it is!
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14:22 - 14:25Because, I mean, we're not even showing her face, right?
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14:25 - 14:28And the word "ass" is in the slogan
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14:28 - 14:30And we're focusing RIGHT on that
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14:30 - 14:34And so it's definitely, absolutely
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14:34 - 14:35SOMEWHAT degrading!
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14:35 - 14:37But she has CLOTHING on!
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14:39 - 14:42Uh…but, we uh…
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14:42 - 14:45It's not really LEGAL in this country to show a, uh
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14:46 - 14:48Completely naked woman.
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14:48 - 14:52Legal? We're a gigantic multinational corporation!
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14:52 - 14:54You think we care what's LEGAL?
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14:55 - 14:58Fix this! Fix this right now!
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15:01 - 15:02Poke!
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15:03 - 15:06You vant us to just cut ze whole thing? Zat's three days of vork down ze drain!
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15:06 - 15:07Focus group didn't like it. Do it over.
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15:07 - 15:11-Zat focus group vas full of twelve-year-olds!
-Don't disparage the maturity of our demographic, dickflop! -
15:11 - 15:13Customers are always right.
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15:13 - 15:15No, it vas literally full of twelve-year-olds!
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15:15 - 15:17-You gave it to ze wrong focus group!
-Remember, people, by the numbers! -
15:17 - 15:19Everything by the numbers!
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15:20 - 15:21Are you working?
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15:21 - 15:24I'm waiting on Andrew. He hasn't told me what we're doin' yet.
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15:26 - 15:28So…you're not working? You're not BUSY?
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15:28 - 15:31You're just sitting around and doing NOTHING?!
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15:31 - 15:33I…guess you could say that, yeah.
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15:33 - 15:36Well, I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing!
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15:36 - 15:38You know who pays people to sit around and do nothing?
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15:38 - 15:39The federal government!
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15:39 - 15:44I worked for the US Census Bureau from 1991 to 1999
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15:44 - 15:46And there wasn't a single day when they made us do anything!
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15:46 - 15:49Well, I left there and said, "No more!"
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15:49 - 15:52"My employees won't get paid to sit around n' do nothing like a bunch of government workers!"
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15:52 - 15:54"I'm gonna make 'em DO things!"
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15:55 - 15:57So…what should I do?
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15:57 - 15:58Things!
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15:59 - 16:03(♫Dun dun dun, like a boss! Dun dun dun, like a boss!♫)
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16:03 - 16:06Hey, Andy! You got any THINGS for me to do?
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16:07 - 16:08Things? Uh…
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16:09 - 16:11Yeah! Actually, ah, now that I think about it
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16:11 - 16:13You could, uh…
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16:13 - 16:14Sit down!
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16:14 - 16:15Shut the fuck up!
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16:15 - 16:17And buy me a new iPad!
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16:17 - 16:18And you're payin'!
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16:18 - 16:20Christ al-fuckin'-mighty.
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16:21 - 16:23Listerine fights plaque!
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16:23 - 16:26And has the power to rid your mouth of biofilm!
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16:26 - 16:29"Biofilm" is a fancy new word we found one day!
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16:29 - 16:31It basically means plaque.
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16:31 - 16:34Listerine! We have a thesaurus!
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16:38 - 16:40I'm at a loss. What do we do now?
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16:40 - 16:41Maybe if we just, like
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16:41 - 16:43Make it about her boobs instead!
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16:43 - 16:46'Cause, y'know, guys have asses too, but
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16:46 - 16:50They don't have boobs. Boobs are more, like, exclusively womanish!
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16:50 - 16:51You get me?
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16:51 - 16:54-Uh, I don't really--
-Oh! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, you're right! -
16:54 - 16:58'Cause like, some guys, if they're like, really fat and stuff
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16:58 - 16:59They have man-boobs, so
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17:00 - 17:03I guess chicks don't really have a monippley on that either.
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17:05 - 17:06WHAT?!
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17:06 - 17:09Maybe we just need to give 'em what they wanna see.
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17:09 - 17:13Janet, we DID what they asked for. They didn't like it.
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17:13 - 17:16Right, so, don't give them what they asked for. Give them what they want.
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17:16 - 17:17Take a look.
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17:20 - 17:22-Uh…
-Well… -
17:22 - 17:25It's DEFINITELY more misogynistic.
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17:25 - 17:29But I'm…kinda missing the part where it appeals to women.
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17:29 - 17:32Well, clearly they have no idea what appeals to women.
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17:32 - 17:35So we can just tell them that THIS does, and they'll believe us.
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17:35 - 17:37But it doesn't! That would be lying!
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17:37 - 17:42Yeah, I know. But look, the purpose of this exercise is to not be a dick to the client.
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17:42 - 17:45That's it. We don't have to act in their best interest, we just have to be nice.
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17:46 - 17:48That's not really what I was going for, though.
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17:48 - 17:53Okay, look. There will be many, MANY opportunities in the future to advance the craft of advertising
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17:53 - 17:56But this is not one of them. We can't win this battle
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17:56 - 17:59So let's just make the client happy, and get them out the door
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17:59 - 18:01So we can all move on to better things.
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18:06 - 18:09I'm not so sure I'm comfortable saying all this.
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18:09 - 18:12I know. We don't like it any more than you do.
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18:12 - 18:16Trust me, this is just a paycheck for me too.
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18:16 - 18:18As soon as we're done here, I'm going straight to my priest.
-
18:18 - 18:19[CLANG]
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18:19 - 18:19[CLICK]
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18:20 - 18:22Okay, this is Miller Lite, take one!
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18:22 - 18:23[CLAP]
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18:23 - 18:24[BLAKE:] Action!
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18:24 - 18:28Listen, woman! I don't wanna hear your whining or your excuses!
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18:29 - 18:31I don't want you to tell me about your FEELINGS, because the only
-
18:31 - 18:33FEELING you should be having is this
-
18:33 - 18:36Long hard thing pouring delicious liquid in your face!
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18:37 - 18:39How many of you women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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18:40 - 18:40None!
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18:41 - 18:43You can cook my steak in the dark!
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18:43 - 18:46Miller Lite! Drink it, bitch!
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18:49 - 18:51You see? It speaks directly to women!
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18:52 - 18:54-Amazing!
-It's genius! -
18:54 - 18:57The female demographic will eat this up!
-
18:57 - 19:00Wait! What did the focus group think?
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19:00 - 19:02So! What do you guys think?
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19:02 - 19:04Durrrrr, there's too much motion blur!
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19:05 - 19:06They LOVED it!
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19:06 - 19:08Then so do we!
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19:17 - 19:20My ad campaign is better than your ad campaign!
-
19:21 - 19:24-You haven't even SEEN mine!
-I don't have to! -
19:25 - 19:28Could you NOT invade my personal space in the men's room?
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19:28 - 19:32The boss is gonna see for sure that you know NOTHING about advertising!
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19:33 - 19:36Why do you have to be such a massive DICK all the time?
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19:36 - 19:37To be ironic?
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19:37 - 19:39Because it gets results!
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19:40 - 19:42You know what they say, Edward.
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19:42 - 19:44Nice guys finish last.
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19:46 - 19:49Yeah, that's why I can please a woman better than YOU can!
-
19:53 - 19:54[SHARP BREATH]
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19:59 - 20:01[UNDOING BELT, UNZIPPING PANTS]
-
20:03 - 20:05Wha?! Mark Zuckerberg?!
-
20:05 - 20:07-What the hell are you doing?
-Hey, man, what's up? -
20:07 - 20:09-G-get out of here!
-What, you got somethin' to hide? -
20:09 - 20:12I'm USING the TOILET!
-
20:12 - 20:13Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool.
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20:13 - 20:15I mean, everybody takes a shit, nothin' to be ashamed of.
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20:15 - 20:16Wh-- g-- g-get out!
-
20:16 - 20:18Whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold that pose!
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20:18 - 20:19[CAMERA SHUTTER]
-
20:20 - 20:21I like this!
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20:27 - 20:30Honestly, I don't get that drunk! Alcohol just literally goes right through me!
-
20:31 - 20:32[WAITRESS SCREAMS]
-
20:33 - 20:36So, how'd it all go with Miss Robo-Zombie-Accountant-Lady?
[PHONE RINGS] -
20:37 - 20:40-[EDDIE:] Not bad, actually.
-[BLAKE:] Yeah, she pretty much came up with the whole idea herself. -
20:40 - 20:42Huh. Great¡
-
20:42 - 20:44No, it was actually, uh…
-
20:44 - 20:47Well, it was horribly offensive
-
20:47 - 20:50And I'm ashamed to have been associated with it
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20:50 - 20:53But from a creative standpoint, it was
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20:53 - 20:55Pretty well thought out.
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20:55 - 20:57Psh. Yeah, right¡ From a fuckin' accountant¡
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20:57 - 21:00Don't let her fool ya. They're all just like Andrew.
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21:00 - 21:02I…thought so too.
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21:02 - 21:04But maybe not.
-
21:04 - 21:07No. No way. Anybody who takes orders from Andy's got
[PHONE BLEEPS] -
21:07 - 21:10Nothin' inside of 'em. No fuckin' soul, no nothin' at all.
-
21:10 - 21:12[EDDIE:] Well, you WERE working under him.
-
21:12 - 21:16[KEVIN:] I didn't do SHIT for him! Anything he said to me, I was just like
-
21:16 - 21:17[KEVIN:] Fuck you! No!
-
21:17 - 21:19Well, that's mature¡
-
21:19 - 21:20What do you mean, "that's mature"?!
-
21:20 - 21:23This is Andy we're talkin' about. It's the only way to deal with 'im!
-
21:24 - 21:27Or perhaps…it's the only way you've tried.
-
21:31 - 21:33T--Tommy?
-
21:33 - 21:34Dude! What's up?
-
21:34 - 21:38The thumbtack is still your brother, but he has forgotten that.
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21:38 - 21:40He wishes to fight you
-
21:40 - 21:44But you must remind him that you are all of the same blood.
-
21:44 - 21:48You are all human beings. And therefore
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21:48 - 21:51You are all fightin' for the same thing.
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21:52 - 21:53Tommy, this is Eddie.
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21:53 - 21:56The boss brought him in to replace y--
-
21:56 - 21:58Well--
-
21:58 - 22:01Not that ANYONE could replace you.
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22:01 - 22:03Well met, brother Eddie.
-
22:03 - 22:07I sense your strength, your resolve, and your compassion.
-
22:08 - 22:10These are powerful qualities.
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22:10 - 22:13Your brothers and sister are lucky to have you.
-
22:14 - 22:15T-thank you, sir.
-
22:17 - 22:21The thumbtack shall resent you and sabotage you, but do not fight him, brother.
-
22:21 - 22:23Show him the way.
-
22:23 - 22:27I've been tryin', Tommy. I've been tryin' for so long!
-
22:27 - 22:28I don't think it's possible!
-
22:29 - 22:31You must take another path, brother Kevin.
-
22:31 - 22:35Perhaps brother Eddie will show you the way as well.
-
22:36 - 22:38Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah.
-
22:46 - 22:47Hey.
-
22:48 - 22:49Hey.
-
22:51 - 22:53I'm sorry for being, uh…
-
22:54 - 22:57Not so nice to you. For the past week.
-
22:57 - 22:59Don't worry about it.
-
22:59 - 23:01I'm really embarrassed.
-
23:01 - 23:02It's okay. Don't worry.
-
23:02 - 23:04No. Look. I just--
-
23:05 - 23:06I wasn't myself.
-
23:07 - 23:08I don't do that.
-
23:08 - 23:10I don't act like that.
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23:10 - 23:11Most of the time.
-
23:11 - 23:14Well, I kinda walked in on you while you were bleedin' to death, honey.
-
23:14 - 23:16Don't sweat it. We all have our bad days.
-
23:16 - 23:17Weeks.
-
23:18 - 23:19Weeks.
-
23:20 - 23:21So…
-
23:21 - 23:24What was it that made you want to, uh…
-
23:25 - 23:26Switch sides?
-
23:27 - 23:28You know that guy in our ad?
-
23:29 - 23:32Well, let's just say he was inspired by a real person.
-
23:33 - 23:34Oh!
-
23:34 - 23:35Yeah.
-
23:36 - 23:40Yeah, I can see that. [LAUGHS]
-
23:41 - 23:45So, would you maybe want to, uh…
-
23:46 - 23:48Play on our team a bit more?
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23:48 - 23:51It was fun, but I gotta stick by my compatriots.
-
23:51 - 23:54I'm sort of the, uh, one-girl support group for everyone.
-
23:54 - 23:55If that makes sense.
-
23:57 - 24:00I know EXACTLY what you mean.
-
24:00 - 24:02Okay, team! The results are in!
-
24:02 - 24:04Team Edward made us…
-
24:04 - 24:07Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars!
-
24:07 - 24:09And Team Andrew made us…
-
24:09 - 24:12Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars!
-
24:12 - 24:14It's a tie! Congratulations!
-
24:14 - 24:16Everybody wins!
-
24:16 - 24:19Wait! What about how satisfied the clients were?
-
24:19 - 24:21What about what about WHAT now?!
-
24:21 - 24:24The clients! Were they satisfied? Do they hate us?
-
24:24 - 24:27Are they gonna tell everybody that we suck and not to do business with us?
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24:27 - 24:30Huh. I…didn't ask.
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24:31 - 24:35Boss, that was the entire reason we were doing all of this!
-
24:36 - 24:37Oh.
-
24:38 - 24:39Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll…
-
24:40 - 24:41Fuck.
-
24:42 - 24:43Who wants lunch?
-
24:44 - 24:49Hey, thanks for watching. We need your support to make more episodes of Your Face is a Saxophone
-
24:49 - 24:51And to keep them free of charge and free of ads
-
24:51 - 24:54All of these people you see in the credits gave a little bit of their time
-
24:54 - 24:57Or their money to make this episode possible, and you can be one of them too.
-
24:57 - 25:01You can help us prove that great TV shows don't need to shove commercials in your face to cover their costs.
-
25:01 - 25:05We don't want to make a show to please our corporate sponsors, we want to make it for our fans. You guys.
-
25:05 - 25:09So go to yfias.com/donate to become a producer of the show
-
25:09 - 25:11Or yfias.com/volunteer to see how else you can help
-
25:11 - 25:13And follow us on Twitter: @Plankhead
-
25:13 - 25:16Or go to yfias.com and click "Get Email Updates"
-
25:16 - 25:18To keep track of the show and see what's going on with it.
-
25:18 - 25:22So, thanks again. I'm Zacqary Adam Green, the creator of Your Face is a Saxophone
-
25:22 - 25:23And you're awesome!
- Title:
- Your Face is a Saxophone -- Episode 2 -- Miss Anthropy
- Description:
-
http://yfias.com/donate -- Help us make more episodes!
On this episode of Your Face is a Saxophone, all men are pigs.It is legal to copy, share, modify, or reuse this video for any purpose. Please give credit to Plankhead if you do.
http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0
- Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 25:28
Zacqary Adam Green edited English subtitles for Your Face is a Saxophone -- Episode 2 -- Miss Anthropy | ||
Zacqary Adam Green edited English subtitles for Your Face is a Saxophone -- Episode 2 -- Miss Anthropy | ||
Zacqary Adam Green edited English subtitles for Your Face is a Saxophone -- Episode 2 -- Miss Anthropy | ||
Amara Bot added a translation |