Return to Video

CYPRIEN - TOP CHEF

  • Not Synced
    There is a new TV show that just came out,
  • Not Synced
    it's called Top Chef,
  • Not Synced
    I don't know if you have seen it.
  • Not Synced
    September 10, 2010.
  • Not Synced
    Cyprien walks quietly in the street.
  • Not Synced
    At the same time an asteroid threatens to
    crash on the earth.
  • Not Synced
    Any measure is taken by the leading forces
  • Not Synced
    who have not been warned because of an
    error of inattention.
  • Not Synced
    Fortunately, it degrades into the air and
    becomes a dust
  • Not Synced
    which comes in contact with a Cyprien's
    oily hair,
  • Not Synced
    and by a molecular reaction that we can't
    explain now
  • Not Synced
    coupled with a scriptwriting ease,
  • Not Synced
    a time warp is created
  • Not Synced
    propelling Cyprien several years before,
  • Not Synced
    and, he will never know it.
  • Not Synced
    I'm suffering from the Top Chef's curse.
  • Not Synced
    It means that the evening when I eat the
    worst crap,
  • Not Synced
    it's Top Chef's time.
  • Not Synced
    What's for dinner ?
  • Not Synced
    Well.. I took all the leftover feed of the
    week, put it all in a Tupperware,
  • Not Synced
    add some water, in the micro-wave,
  • Not Synced
    and here it is, a kind of quiche,
  • Not Synced
    and for the bread, we got pizza crusts.
  • Not Synced
    30 seconds !
  • Not Synced
    They do it on purpose ! They know it !
  • Not Synced
    It's to put us off of not eating well.
  • Not Synced
    Let me eat shit in peace.
  • Not Synced
    There is one disingenuous thing with
    Top Chef,
  • Not Synced
    from the beginning, the opening credits,
  • Not Synced
    with the head of all candidates,
  • Not Synced
    they should remove the face of people
    eliminated over the weeks,
  • Not Synced
    it looks obvious !
  • Not Synced
    Sorry but it's not good, for you the
    adventure stops here.
  • Not Synced
    Is it possible to remove me from
    the credits ?
  • Not Synced
    Not at all, no way !
  • Not Synced
    We will show your face every week to
    millions of viewers
  • Not Synced
    who will tell "I have no fucking idea of
    who this guy is".
  • Not Synced
    Great.
  • Not Synced
    This is Top Chef.
  • Not Synced
    Honestly people who make this show, wow,
  • Not Synced
    well done honestly, first because it's
    really well paced,
  • Not Synced
    the music ! Have you ever heard the music
    they put in Top Chef ?
  • Not Synced
    Oh, you're watching Pirates of the
    Caribbean ?
  • Not Synced
    No I'm watching a guy cuting leeks.
  • Not Synced
    And what happen this year ?
  • Not Synced
    They have changed almost the whole jury !
  • Not Synced
    Thierry Marx, there is no Thierry
    Marx anymore, my favorite !
  • Not Synced
    Well, he left for new projects,
  • Not Synced
    for gastronomic things, culinary,
    something technical I guess,
  • Not Synced
    which take him a lot of time,
    that must be the reason.
  • Not Synced
    Lustucru "As a chef",
  • Not Synced
    pasta that make you want to cook,
    as a chef.
  • Not Synced
    The only remaining jury member is
    the robot.
  • Not Synced
    What ? Don't try to make me believe
  • Not Synced
    that Jean-François Piège is a human being.
  • Not Synced
    Someone who stands like this naturally,
  • Not Synced
    is, of course, an artificial intelligence.
  • Not Synced
    Excellent cooking, it's my favorite.
  • Not Synced
    And who did they put in the jury ? Who ?
  • Not Synced
    Philippe Etchebest !
  • Not Synced
    The guy who yells at you non-stop,
    like this :
  • Not Synced
    Damn, trust yourself ! Where is your
    creativity ?
  • Not Synced
    Bring your creativity out !
  • Not Synced
    If you don't regain control, it will
    hit you, alright ?
  • Not Synced
    People are lost because he screams,
  • Not Synced
    so they cook shit, so he screams.
  • Not Synced
    Well this is normal to be confused,
  • Not Synced
    in front of someone who has no eyebrows.
    Disturbing.
  • Not Synced
    What the hell are you doing ?
  • Not Synced
    Shit ! Where are his eyebrows ?
  • Not Synced
    Does he had them at the beginning of the
    show ?
  • Not Synced
    Is it contagious ?
  • Not Synced
    I don't want to lose my eyebrows !
  • Not Synced
    No lies, every year it's almost the same,
  • Not Synced
    every year tests are the same,
  • Not Synced
    every year they must cook for kids,
  • Not Synced
    every year there is an ass-kisser who
    decides to cook some fucking vegetables
  • Not Synced
    to impress the jury.
  • Not Synced
    So, for kids, I made them some turnips,
  • Not Synced
    with pickled cabbage,
  • Not Synced
    a medley of forgotten vegetables,
  • Not Synced
    with a sweet-and-sour sauce,
  • Not Synced
    and all together shaped like a fish,
  • Not Synced
    kids love when it's fish-shaped.
  • Not Synced
    Yuck ! It's disgusting ! I wanna die !
    I wanna die !
  • Not Synced
    Really ?
  • Not Synced
    Mom it's really not good !
  • Not Synced
    I didn't expect it...
  • Not Synced
    Every year, the winner is the one
    who cooks pasta.
  • Not Synced
    For 6 years now.
  • Not Synced
    The black box's test.
  • Not Synced
    This is crazy.
  • Not Synced
    They must reproduce a dish,
    that they must taste it, touch it,
  • Not Synced
    in complete darkness. In a giant box.
  • Not Synced
    With infrared cameras.
  • Not Synced
    It's kind of weird in fact.
  • Not Synced
    "PORN CASTING"
    So, I've tasted everything,
  • Not Synced
    put everything in my mouth,
  • Not Synced
    I think that there is some seafood,
  • Not Synced
    and cheese maybe,
    a strong cheese.
  • Not Synced
    What is it ? Yet, I've licked everywhere.
  • Not Synced
    I'll remember.
  • Not Synced
    The horrible moment in this show,
    it's the final.
  • Not Synced
    The final is embarrassing,
  • Not Synced
    Finalists have to prepare dozens of menus,
  • Not Synced
    with the help of the guys who have been
    eleminated before.
  • Not Synced
    People told them : "sorry the adventure
    is over,
  • Not Synced
    you're really sucks, get the fuck out !
  • Not Synced
    Oh wait, come back, you will help someone
    else to win."
  • Not Synced
    So, in front of you, sweet potato
    gnocchi,
  • Not Synced
    chorizo emulsion, and a foie gras sauce
  • Not Synced
    prepared by, uh... by uh, I forgot his name,
  • Not Synced
    the guy who has been get out on
    first week, right.
  • Not Synced
    Bon appétit !
  • Not Synced
    To find out who won the show,
  • Not Synced
    because there is money to win,
  • Not Synced
    they do a small staging, they go to the
    finalists,
  • Not Synced
    with all their friends, family and stuff,
  • Not Synced
    they must pull a knife out of its case,
  • Not Synced
    if the blade is orange, they have lost.
  • Not Synced
    Well, maybe I have a twisted mind but
  • Not Synced
    it's basic, survival instincts,
  • Not Synced
    if I tell someone that he has lost,
  • Not Synced
    I don't give him a bladed weapon.
  • Not Synced
    It's your turn !
  • Not Synced
    Orange blade, you lose.
  • Not Synced
    100.000€ go to the other finalist,
  • Not Synced
    antifreeze in gnocchi
  • Not Synced
    it hasn't convinced, it was not a very
    good idea.
  • Not Synced
    Be careful to the seasoning, it lacked
    salt sometimes, it's right that...
  • Not Synced
    And the red blade ! What does the red
    blade means uh ?
  • Not Synced
    It lacks salt.
  • Not Synced
    Be careful to the seasoning.
  • Not Synced
    It's important.
  • Not Synced
    Well, Top Chef doesn't change my life,
  • Not Synced
    I always eat the same thing unfortunately,
  • Not Synced
    yes, there is a small difference.
  • Not Synced
    Before I was cooking like this,
  • Not Synced
    now, like this.
  • Not Synced
    I still eat shit,
  • Not Synced
    but it's stylish.
  • Not Synced
    Subscribe.
  • Not Synced
    Sous-titré et Synchronisé
    par Adam VERCAMER.
Title:
CYPRIEN - TOP CHEF
Description:

more » « less
Video Language:
Arabic
Duration:
05:55

English subtitles

Revisions Compare revisions