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-The Football Lie Detector #2
-Lionel, who's the greatest footballer ever?
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-I don’t know but it’s not you
-What? This machine must be broken…
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Who’s the greatest footballer ever?
-I don’t know but it’s not you
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-Can we get a new lie detector please?
This one is faulty… last try
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Who’s the greatest footballer ever?
-I don’t know but it’s not you
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-OW
-Never mind! Fixed it!
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-Name?
-Simon Hooper
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-Job?
-Referee
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-That's debatable
-and now for the most important question…
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-Do you support Spurs…
-Er, well…
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-Answer the question!
-Well you see before I answer…
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-Answer the question!!!
-A bit of context
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-ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!
-yes I support Spurs
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-Knew it
-I’m off to get an apology from the PGMOL…
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-Hey Erling
Wait for me!!!
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-There’s no way I’m wearing this!
The few remaining hair follicles I have
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are just too fragile!
-But…
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-But nothing! I’m genuinely injured and
you’ll just have to take my word for it!
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-Kylian…
-Yes
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-Have you already signed a pre-contract
agreement with Real Madrid?
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-Of course not! I still might
stay at my boyhood club PSG!
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No wai-
-I did say he
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wouldn’t be leaving on a free…
-Lionel, do your worst…
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-No, I think I’ll leave it to these guys…
-Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department-
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we have a few questions sir
-Oh poo…
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I’m innocent I tell you! Innocent!
-Hahaha… I told you’d he’d fall for that fake ID…
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-What is your name?
-Harry Kane
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-Do you find me funny?
-Er, yes?
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Rumbled
-Did I put superglue inside
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the lie detector helmet?
-What?
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Yes, yes you did!
-HAHAHAHA!
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-NOT FUNNY!
-ARGH!
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-HAHAHAHA!
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-What? This is a lie detector?
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-Correct
-You told me it was a hair regenerator!
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-Well how else was I going to
get you to take a lie detector?!
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-You turd muffin…
-Name
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-Pep Guardiola
-Did you ever have sexual
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relations with Mikel Arteta?
-NO!!!
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-Well I never… are Man City a one man team?
-You mean Erling Haaland?
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-I mean Rodri
-NO!
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-Knew it! And now literally for the 1 billion
pound question, did Man City break FFP?
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-LAWYERS ASSEMBLE!!!
HAHA!
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-Oh you son of a gun…
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-I’ve never known anything like it…
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It’s like his brain is wired
differently to anyone we’ve ever tested…
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-Hahahaha! Gerrin there! One of a kind me Dyche!
BLURGH!
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-Jude, do you wish you’d signed for Liverpool
-No…
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-Then why did you lead me on…
-Funny
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-Are you Sergio Aguero
-Yes, I’m your best friend Sergio Aguero
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-Are you in love with my wife?
-Er…
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argh! My heart! Oh… Ah….
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-Are you faking a heart attack to avoid answering the question?
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Sergio…
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SERGIO! SOMEBODY COME QUICK!!!
-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
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-Trent, when taking a corner versus Sheffield
United, did you get your bum crack out on purpose?
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-Yeah
-Was it to impress a
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pregnant woman in the crowd?
-NO!
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It was to impress all the
pregnant women watching at home…
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You should have seen my DMS lad…
-Unbelievable…
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-Bruno, are you responsible for the ‘Ten
Hag has lost the dressing room’ leaks?
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-NO!
-NEXT!
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-Marcus, are you responsible for the ‘Ten
Hag has lost the dressing room’ leaks?
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-NO!
-And sadly you’ve not been
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responsible for many goals either…
-What?
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-NEXT!
-Antony, are you responsible for the ‘Ten
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Hag has lost the dressing room’ leaks?
-No
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-Fine, now quickly, take that helmet
off before the police get here!!!
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-Harry, are you responsible
for the ‘Ten ha’ - what?
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Why is your helmet there?
-It wouldn’t fit on me head…
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-Urgh, one moment…
What a helmet
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-That’s what most of the united
fans shout to me when im defending…
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-Are you responsible for the ‘Ten Hag
has lost the dressing room’ leaks?
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-NN-nn-n-n-n-n-n-NO!
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Wait a minute - I think I know who is responsible
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for the ‘Ten Hag has lost the dressing room’ leaks
-Then tell me!
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-Erik, are you responsible for the ‘Ten
Hag has lost the dressing room’ leaks?
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-Me? NO!
-I bloody knew it!
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-Fine, it was me!
I just want to get the sack okay!
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I hate it here.
It’s so toxic.
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I want to go home to Ajax!
I was happy there!
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HAPPY!
-Case closed.
