How to be happy every day: it will change the world | Jacqueline Way | TEDxStanleyPark

The World Happiness Report states: “Over 1 billion adults suffer from anxiety and depression.” How do we get to happy? Jacqueline Way, Founder of www.365give.ca shares a secret to happiness so simple a three-year-old can do it.

Jacqueline is a mother of three boys and social good activist dedicated to changing the world one give, one day at a time. You will learn through her powerful story how your body is hard-wired for giving. Researchers from all over the world have been studying the science and physiology of giving for decades. They’ve discovered giving makes you happy, makes you high, is our bodies natural “Fountain of Youth” and reduces stress. Her inspirational journey with her son and thousands of children will inspire you to start a daily giving habit that will make you happy and change the world.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

I have what some consider to be
one of the toughest jobs on the planet.

I am a mom.

(Cheers) (Applause)

Yes! Yes!

I am a parent to three
very busy little boys

who magically think I'm a doctor,

a baker, a coach, a chef, a therapist

and have the patience of a saint 24/7.

I truly do my best

and some days are definitely
better than others,

especially the part
about having the patience of a saint.

I want what most parents want for my kids.

I want them to have a happy childhood.

I want them to be free to play,

build friendships, grow to be kind,
compassionate, happy adults.

But there seems
to be one small challenge.

The World Happiness Report states

at any one time

over 220 million children

and 1 billion adults

suffer from anxiety, depression,
and conduct disorders.

Not exactly a pretty picture
of happy people on a happy planet.

Unfortunately, as adults,
whether you're a parent or not,

this is what our children
are learning from us.

You see how busy we are every day.

They feel our stress,

and they watch us struggle
to find our own happiness.

How do we go from anxiety
and depression to happy?

Some good news.

The World Happiness Report also states

the best predictor of whether a child
becomes a satisfied adult

is through their emotional
health in childhood.

So if I have this right,
it should be easy.

Happy children,
happy adults, happy planet; yes.

(Laughter)

This is the exact lesson
I learned from my dad.

When I was a little girl,

growing up in the big city
of London, Ontario,

every Christmas morning

my dad would take my three sisters
and I to his office.

You see my dad was a doctor
and his office, a hospital.

It was our job to stand
around the beds of his patients

and sing Christmas carols.

We started with the same song every time,

and my dad, he'd lead the singing.

Now, this is probably a TEDx first,
so join me if you know it.

(Singing) We wish you a Merry Christmas;
we wish you a Merry Christmas,

we wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year.

(Stops singing)

(Cheers) (Applause)

You guys are amazing,

I am signing you all up for this year.

(Laughter)

And look at your smiles.

We did this every Christmas
morning for years.

Those patients, they sing along with us,

just like you did.

And their smiles, their smiles
would light up their hospital rooms.

This is what I learned from our singing.

Giving back to those patients,

it made them happy, and it made me happy.

And we've all heard

that giving makes you happy
and it's better to give than receive.

But have you actually thought of why?

Well, researchers from all over the world

have been studying the science
and psychology of giving.

They've discovered

that our brains and our bodies
are actually hardwired for giving.

When we give, our endorphins kick in,

giving us this natural high feeling.

They've actually called it
the "helper's high."

Our oxygen levels rise,
this would be our love hormone.

And for those of you

that have been looking
for the Fountain of Youth,

it's our body's natural anti-aging remedy.

And that feeling I got
when I volunteer with my dad,

that's serotonin,
our body's happy transmitter.

But here's the icing on the cake.

Our cortisol levels drop.

This is our stress hormone.

Giving reduces anxiety and stress
and it makes us happy.

Now what if I told you,

you could be happy every day,
and it's simple.

In fact, it's so simple
a three-year-old can do it.

Well, on my first son
Nick's third birthday,

I decided I was going to teach him
how he could be happy every day.

I was going to teach Nick to give.

I introduced the idea
over a birthday cake and ice cream:

"Nick, we are going to start
this super-fun family project together.

We are going to give back
to the world every day for one year."

Now I waited to see
the excitement on his face -

that excitement that I was feeling -

and instead, he says,
"Mommy, how many days are in a year?"

(Laughter)

Oh yeah, not exactly
the response I was looking for,

but Nick was just three.

I had to approach this daily giving idea
a little differently.

Still, I got out some craft paper
and a big box of crayons,

and I started again:

"Nick, we're going to do one thing
to be kind, helpful, giving

to a person, an animal, or the planet

every day for 365 days."

Now, when I shared this idea
with friends and the family,

they thought I was being,
shall we say, a little ambitious.

I was going to give back to the world
every day for 365 days

with a three-year-old.

I agreed, it seemed like a lot,

but not when you start small,
just one give, one day at a time.

Nick and I started a list,
just to get us going,

had to be easy and close to home.

Donate towels and blankets
for a local animal shelter,

pick up garbage, recycle,

give clothes to a favorite charity;
and our list went on.

Well, Nick quickly caught on,

and now he was excited.

He was actually so excited

he wanted to start
that day, on his birthday.

So, first stop,

down at the local animal shelter
to donate towels and blankets.

When we walked into that shelter

you instantly got hit

by this smell of somewhere
between wet dog and disinfectant.

We could hear dogs barking.

I knew they were locked in cages;
they were behind a closed door.

Nick handed our towels and blankets
over to the nice lady behind the desk.

She gave us a big smile
and she thanked us for our donation.

Well, as we turned to leave,

Nick noticed two big glass doors
that led into a room filled with cats.

He went up to that glass and he peered in,

and then he turned to me and said,

"Mommy, can you see those cats
sleeping on that red blanket back there.

Will our blankets be for those cats?"

He turned to the nice lady behind the desk
and she said, "You bet."

You'd just see Nick's little brain going.

He was making the connection

that his daily give
was going to help those cats.

Nick learned that very first day,

as he turned to me
and he smiled and he said,

"Awesome, Mom,"

that giving made him happy.

Day two, down at the beach
for a little fun in the sun and a game:

how much garbage could we
pick up in three minutes or less

because that was the attention span
of my three-year-old.

(Laughter)

Day three, we took that garbage
and we sorted it.

At the ripe old age of three,
Nick learned to recycle.

Well, daily giving quickly
became a routine for Nick,

just like kind of brushing his teeth.

Well, actually come to think of it,

it would be easier to teach
a three-year-old to give every day

than it is to brush
their teeth every day, for sure.

Nick asked if we could share
our daily giving adventures

with our friends and family,

so they could follow along.

So that very first day

I started a blog and I called it 365give.

Now, just so you know,

I am not a writer
or some social media guru,

so you can imagine how surprised I was

when people started reading the blog
other than my friends and family.

They started reading and engaging
from all over the world.

They send me emails and leave comments
with their daily giving stories

because they were inspired by Nick.

Actually, I was so excited I'm going
to share just a few with you today.

So, Henry from London, England, wrote:

"I walk past the same homeless man
every day on my way to work.

Today I brought him breakfast,

he was so grateful I stopped,

it's going to be my daily give
every day from now on."

Arwoney from Lira, Uganda:

"I took four children that live
on a street near my home to lunch today.

The children were so happy to have a meal,

and for the first time in a long time
they felt like somebody cared."

Amy from Australia:

"I'm a grade four teacher,

and I started 365give, a daily
giving practice, in my classroom."

Well, this one - this one
took me by surprise.

Could you really teach
365give in a classroom?

I didn't know, I was just a mom.

But as fate has it,

I get a call from my good friend Sarah.

She's a local elementary school teacher

and she says, "Jacqueline,

I want to take the 365give concept
into my classroom.

Actually, my entire school."

Well, we were both so excited,
we went to work.

We created an educational program,

a tool for teachers that integrates
a simple daily giving practice

with their curriculum,

we called it the 365give challenge.

It's unique

because it's powered by the kids.

They choose how they're going to give,

support causes and impact the world
in ways that they choose.

We started in Sarah's school,

and I actually couldn't wait to hear
how the kids were going to give.

A few weeks into the challenge,

I went down

and I met with a grade two class,
seven-year-old kids.

When I walked into that classroom,

I'm not sure who was more excited,

me or the kids.

First up was Arman,

he waved his hand frantically,

he just couldn't wait to tell me

all about the fresh-baked cookies
they had made

and delivered to their local firehouse.

They want to thank the firefighters
for all they did in their community.

Arman was just beaming with pride.

Next up was Mia.

Well, Mia's little cousin
had suffered from cancer that year,

and the kids, the entire class,

they decided they were going
to do a popcorn sale, right at school.

They raised 252 dollars, over recess,

and they donated it to a charity
that supports kids with cancer.

But this is the part
that just about had me in tears

because I could never have dreamed

that my super fun
family project with my son

could cause a ripple to so many.

And it's what their teacher,
Mrs.Story, said to me,

"Jacqueline, my kids

are understanding how their actions
can make a better world.

It's connected them to each other
and their community,

and most importantly,
it's making my classroom happy."

The 365give challenge has now touched
over 5,000 children in 25 schools,

and we have only just begun.

(Cheers) (Applause)

Thank you.

(Cheers) (Applause)

The kids are sharing their daily
giving stories with other kids,

and it's creating a ripple

into their families, their communities,
and around the world.

The challenge was created for kids,
but it's actually for all of us,

doesn't matter where you live,
what you do or how old you are.

Just imagine if we all did it.

It started with just one child
giving every day,

that's 365 daily gives.

We shared, and it's rippled to right here,

with all of you.

Now, let's take everybody in this room,

over 2,000 people, times 365 daily gives,

that is over 700,000 daily gives.

It's no longer just one child
giving every day,

but each and every one of us

creating a better world, a happier world,

and it's so simple
a three-year-old can do it.

It's a daily habit,
just like brushing your teeth.

Start your list today,

take a look at your life, your world,
your family, your day,

do what works for you.

Donate, volunteer, help a neighbor,
be kind to a stranger.

This is how we're going to go
from anxiety and depression to happy.

Together, we can all start small,

and we can make the world
a better world, a happier world,

one give, one day at a time.

(Applause) (Cheers)

Yes! Yes!