ELDERS PLAY AGAR.IO (Elders React: Gaming)

♪ (old-school video game music) ♪

- "A-gar-I-O."

- "Agar.io." Okay.

- Why the dot? (chuckles)

- Looks like a web address.

- (Finebros) Agar.io is an online game,

where you start as a tiny cell,

and you try to absorb
your smaller competitors

while avoiding being
absorbed by larger cells.

- Ah. An amoeba battle.

- I'm already nervous. (chuckles)

- Do you mean you actually
have to play something?

Oh my god.

I've never played a video game.

- (Finebros) Just type in
a username to get started.

- Just type it in, okay.

I'm going in as "froggie."

- (Finebros) Why did you choose that name?
- 'Cause I like frogs.

- "Multimel."

- "William."

- "Goddess."

- "Kennyboy."

- "Pip."

My favorite character
from Great Expectations.

- "Salem," the name of our cat.

- "Adriel." It's my grandson's name.

- Okay, and there's pip.

- Eek!

Wow.

- (Finebros) You died.
- Really? I didn't even push Start.

- Start now?

Oh, I got it, didn't I?

- (Finebros) You died.
- (laughs)

Okay, I'll try my best.

Oh. Okay.

(raps table) I'm so slow.

- Okay. Oh, there's Salem. Okay, so--

Now, I just-- okay.

- So I have to eat these guys?

- Oh, I see it. Oh, he's
eating these little guys.

- Come on, I want to get
these guys. There we go.

(whistling)

Whoops.

Some days you eat the bears,
and some days the bear eats you.

- Agh.

He popped up quick.

- Interesting. Oop.

I went poof in the light.

- Oh my god.

This kinda makes you dizzy. (giggles)

What a strange activity.

- Uh-oh. (chuckles)

I got eaten. (snickers)

- (scoffs) Okay.

I'm having trouble getting the-- whoa!

I'm having trouble
getting the feel of this.

- Oh... no, no, no, no. Get away-- oh.

(scoffs)

Oh, I almost lasted a minute.

- Oh man, I got-- oh! I think I got eaten.

Oh no! My poor little pip.

- Blue, blue, blue, blue. (chuckles)

- Whoa...

- Whoa.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

It helps when I say,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." (chuckles)

- (high-pitched voice)
Ooh, there's a little cluster. Ooh!

Ooh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, I don't like that.

- (whistles) Wah! Those are big.

- Does my guy get bigger as he eats?

- (Finebros) Uh-huh.
- Ohhh.

- Yeah. Oh, I'm eating them.
I'm getting a lot of them there.

I guess it's getting bigger.

(nervously) Oh no, I got
to get-- oh no, go away.

Go away. Go away.

Oh, go away. (muttering) Go away.

- I'm doing great, I think.

(anxiously) Oh, down, down, down.

Where's my curs-- eeeee!

Oh. (laughing) Ay!

- Uh-oh, uh-oh.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

He ate me.

So if I keep eating stuff, I get bigger.

Which generally happens to me
if I eat too many chips.

- You really have to play defense.

Forget about the offense so much.

But you really have to be
on the lookout for

is who's coming at ya.

- Every time I show up,
I'm always a different color.

Aah! No.

Shoot.

Arg, that one got me too fast.

I guess the idea is to stay
as far away as I can

from these giant planets.

What-- (grumbles)

- Trying to get that SANIK one.

(amused) But we both got eaten.

- Hey. Sometimes he collapses
a little bit. Why does he do that?

- Dododododododo.

Oh, it keeps-- (wheezy laugh)

You go too far in one direction,
it flattens out on one side.

- Oh, there's those dang spiders again.

Well, that was quick.

That was four seconds.
I think that's my low record.

- Well... (hesitates)

Ehh. Some of these users
gang up on people.

They're like packs of wolves.

- So who are these people
that I'm playing against?

Are they just random people?

And they don't have anything
better to do. (chuckles)

- I'm enjoying it really.

Can you get this?
Can I buy something like this?

Then when I'm at work,
I can play it; I'll be fired. (laughs)

- This would keep you from
doing your job for hours.

- Bulk up first.

And then when you're bulky
enough, then go hunting.

But don't go hunting when you're little.

Just stay away from the big boys.

- (mutters) Up, up, up.

Then go through there. Good, got through.

- Oh my god, the other ones
are getting enormous!

- Whoa! Oh, my goodness!
Look at that fox is huge.

(quieter) Stay away from there.

- I'm getting big just, uh... by grazing.

I'm in fertile hunting grounds.

- Oh, I don't want him around.

No. Oh.

Oh, he shot-- he got me.

- (Finebros) If you want
to split in half like that,

you can do it by pressing space bar
when you get big enough.

- Okay.

- I can split into two? I can do it now?

- (Finebros) Yeah.
(key taps)

- Oh, okay. Now I have a partner.

Two is better than one, I think.
Yeah, because I can get more.

- Now I have two goddesses. Yay.

- Yaaah! (chuckles, then yowls)

- This game is less offensive
than a lot of games.

You know, I'm not killing people.
I'm not shooting a gun.

- There are some big guys out there.

Isn't it just like life,
all those big guys...

screwing up everything
for the little guys?

♪ (Psycho theme) ♪

- I have to be careful, 'cause-- oh!--

these things can come out of nowhere.

Aah... no, no, no.

(bangs table) Wasn't fast enough.

- (quietly) Oh, no. No. No, no, no.

There. Get that-- no.

(worriedly) No, no. Oh god.

It said "NO."

160. Getting better.

- Argh! There's too many.

Aah! Stop, stop, stop.

But Stop is his name. (chuckles)

- IRS-- oh my god, the IRS is chasing me.

Oh, you get away, IRS.

Oh, but then the Gila monster got me.

- Why can't I pick him up?

I just split into a bunch
of pieces. What's that mean?

I didn't do anything.

And ALG ate me all.

- I'm avoiding the big ones so far.

I have a feeling any second now

something will appear
out of the horizon here.

Multimel keeps getting bigger
and bigger from all those I ate.

Ehh... just ate the bigger one, YODA.

Aah, get out of the way.

(sighs) Huh.

- I don't know if it gets any easier.
I don't think it does.

Oh, go away.

Ugh. Tss.

- (nervously) No... (gasps slightly)

(chuckles)

OH! No more. Adios. (chuckles)

- Pip is a little slow
now that he's getting bigger.

Come on, down here.

Oh my god, those two bad guys,
they just ate him.

Yipes! The world is coming to an end.

If this is how people spend their time,

there's no hope for the universe!

I swear to you, there's no hope!

- I wouldn't say I love it,
but it's sort of fun.

Sort of idle fun.

- I don't like that type of game.
It's not my thing.

- I felt like I was wasting
my life. (laughs wheezily)

- It's simple enough
that even I can play it.

So that's pretty nice.

- It's like gambling.

"Oh, I just won $10?
Well, I better turn it into $20."

"I did two minutes and 32.
Yeah, I'm gonna beat that."

Oh yeah. I see how people
get addicted to this stuff.

- I'm already addicted.

I'll probably get one anyway. It's free.

Even if I have to pay
a dollar something, I would. (chuckles)

- Thanks for watching
us elders take on Agar.io

on the React channel.

- Want more Elders Gaming episodes?
Then hit that Like button.

- Let us know in the comments

what games you'd like
to see your grandma play.

- Quick! Subscribe before I absorb you!

- Bye, guys, and keep on gaming.

♪ (old-school video game music) ♪