Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Edited)

♪ May I have your attention, please ♪

♪ May I have your attention, please ♪

♪ Will the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ I repeat, will the real
Slim Shady please stand up ♪

♪ We're gonna have a problem here ♪

♪ Y'all act like you never
seen a white person before ♪

♪ Jaws all on the floor ♪

♪ Like Pam, like Tommy
just burst in the door ♪

♪ And started whoopin' her
ass worse than before ♪

♪ They first were divorced,
throwin' her over furniture ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ It's the return of the ah,
wait, no way, you're kidding ♪

♪ He didn't just say what
I think he did, did he ♪

♪ And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots ♪

♪ Dr. Dre's dead, he's
locked in my basement ♪

♪ Ha, ha ♪

♪ Feminist women love Eminem ♪

♪ Chicka, chicka, chicka,
Slim Shady, I'm sick of him ♪

♪ Look at him, walkin' around,
grabbin' his you-know-what ♪

♪ Flippin' the you-know-who ♪

♪ Yeah, but he's so cute though ♪

♪ Yeah, I probably got
a couple of screws ♪

♪ Up in my head loose ♪

♪ But no worse than what's goin' on ♪

♪ In your parents' bedrooms ♪

♪ Sometimes I wanna get
on TV and just let loose ♪

♪ But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green ♪

♪ To hump a dead moose ♪

♪ My bum is on your lips,
my bum is on your lips ♪

♪ And if I'm lucky, you might
just give it a little kiss ♪

♪ And that's the message that
we deliver to little kids ♪

♪ And expect them not to
know what a woman's is ♪

♪ Of course they're gonna
know what intercourse is ♪

♪ By the time they hit fourth grade ♪

♪ They've got the Discovery
Channel, don't they ♪

♪ We ain't nothin' but mammals,
well, some of us, cannibals ♪

♪ Who cut other people
open like cantaloupes ♪

♪ But if we can hump dead
animals and antelopes ♪

♪ Then there's no reason that a man ♪

♪ And another man can't elope ♪

♪ But if you feel like I
feel, I got the antidote ♪

♪ Women, wave your pantyhose,
sing the chorus, and it goes ♪

♪ I'm Slim Shady, yes,
I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ Will Smith don't gotta cuss
in his raps to sell records ♪

♪ Well, I do, so him and you too ♪

♪ You think I give a damn about a Grammy ♪

♪ Half of you critics
can't even stomach me ♪

♪ Let alone stand me ♪

♪ But Slim, what if you
win, wouldn't it be weird ♪

♪ Why, so you guys could
just lie to get me here ♪

♪ So you can sit me here
next to Britney Spears ♪

♪ Christina Aguilera
better switch me chairs ♪

♪ So I can sit next to
Carson Daly and Fred Durst ♪

♪ And hear 'em argue over
who she gave to first ♪

♪ Little put me on blast on MTV ♪

♪ Yeah, he's cute, but I think
he's married to Kim, hee-hee ♪

♪ I should download her audio on MP3 ♪

♪ And show the whole world
how you gave Eminem, ah ♪

♪ I'm sick of you little
girl and boy groups ♪

♪ All you do is annoy me ♪

♪ So I have been sent
here to destroy you ♪

♪ And there's a million
of us just like me ♪

♪ Who cuss like me, who
just don't give a like me ♪

♪ Who dress like me, walk,
talk and act like me ♪

♪ And just might be the next
best thing, but not quite me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ I'm like a head trip to listen to ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm only givin' you ♪

♪ Things you joke about
with your friends ♪

♪ Inside your livin' room ♪

♪ The only difference is I
got the balls to say it ♪

♪ In front of y'all ♪

♪ And I don't gotta be false
or sugarcoat it at all ♪

♪ I just get on the mic and spit it ♪

♪ And whether you like
to admit it, I just ♪

♪ Better than ninety percent
of you rappers out can ♪

♪ Then you wonder, how can ♪

♪ Kids eat up these albums like ♪

♪ It's funny, 'cause at the rate
I'm going, when I'm thirty ♪

♪ I'll be the only person in
the nursing home flirting ♪

♪ Pinching nurse's asses
when I'm with Jergens ♪

♪ And I'm jerking ♪

♪ But this whole bag of
Viagra isn't working ♪

♪ And every single person
is a Slim Shady lurking ♪

♪ He could be working at Burger ♪

♪ Spittin' on your onion rings ♪

♪ Or in the parking lot,
circling, screaming, ♪

♪ I don't give a ♪

♪ With his windows down
and his system up ♪

♪ So will the real Shady please stand up ♪

♪ And put one of those
fingers on each hand up ♪

♪ And be proud to be outta
your mind and outta control ♪

♪ And one more time, loud
as you can, how does it go ♪

♪ I'm Slim Shady, yes,
I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes, I'm the real Shady ♪

♪ All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating ♪

♪ So won't the real Slim
Shady please stand up ♪

♪ Please stand up, please stand up ♪

♪ Ha ha, I guess there's a
Slim Shady in all of us ♪

♪ Let's all stand up ♪