5 Self concept 6 10

In this section, we will talk about
characteristics of self-concept.

One characteristic of self-concept is that your
view of yourself may actually be inaccurate.

There are lot of reasons why your
view of self could be inaccurate.

One could be that you are basing your
view of yourself on outdated information.

When we say "obsolete information,"
it is something that no longer applies to you.

Perhaps in grade school,
you were a very good singer,

and now that you are much older, you are
not a good singer (for whatever reason).

The point is, today you're not a good singer,
but in third grade, you were a good singer.

And if someone asked you: "Are you
a good singer?" and you said "yes"

and you were basing that on
your ability to sing in third grade,

you would be basing that on obsolete information.

If I were to say that I were a good basketball player

when I was, in fact, a high school basketball player--

and let's say I was even average then--and I said:

"Yeah, I'm average. Well, I don't play basketball
anymore," that's based on obsolete information.

It's information that no longer applies.

Another characteristic of
an inaccurate self-concept

is that your view of self could be
based upon distorted feedback.

This goes back to reflected appraisal.

Distorted feedback means that the feedback
that you get from others is inaccurate.

So if someone keeps telling you that
you are really, really good at dancing,

and in fact, you are not a good dancer

and you believe that you are a good
dancer based on that reflected appraisal--

Who would that reflected appraisal
come from, by the way?

It would come from a significant other,
someone whose opinion you value,

and if you believe it and it's inaccurate, that's a
self-concept based upon distorted feedback.

Another area that leads to
an inaccurate self-concept

is something called "the myth of perfection."

The myth of perfection basically says

that you have a belief that a normal person has
no faults, yet you know that you have faults.

So you think: "A normal person has no faults
but I have faults; therefore, I'm not normal,"

and that would be an inaccurate view of self.

Typically, this view develops
from (oftentimes) at home

when parents do not demonstrate to their kids
that they make mistakes or they have faults.

They hide their mistakes from their kids,
so kids grow up with this model of perfection:

"I can't have faults. My parents don't have
faults, so therefore, I can't have faults."

And a lot of times, if you think about it,

that can lead to shame or maybe hiding
those faults, not admitting you have them

because you want to be viewed as normal and
you think that a normal person has no faults.

That normally starts at home.

Also, a characteristic of an inaccurate self-concept

is because you have chosen
inappropriate reference groups.

By the way, you could tie this
back to "Killing Us Softly IV."

If you are choosing images to compare yourself

(images in magazines or in television)
that are not even real,

you're choosing an inappropriate reference group,

But the myth of perfection could also come from
you measuring yourself against the ideal image

that does not really exist. I hope that makes sense.

So the inappropriate reference group also would be--

If I compare myself as a basketball
player to third graders.

I'm going to have a view of myself that is distorted.

A couple of other characteristics...
Your self-concept is situational.

So for instance, I'm actually not very good in math--

whether that's because I don't put forth an effort
or I never applied myself, it doesn't matter--

but as a student in math, if someone
asked: "What kind of student are you?"

it would be situational as to
what my view of self is.

In some courses, I would say I'm pretty good;
and in other courses, I would say I'm not.

So my view of self is situational.

As a math student, I would say:
"Eh, I'm not a good student";

but in other areas, I might say:
"I am a good student."

The other thing is that your self-concept
is reluctant to change after age 30.

People will ask why that is,
and oftentimes, it's because

by that time, you pretty much know who you are.

You accept who you are and you
have enough experiences to say:

"By the time I'm 30, this is who I am."

And I don't want that to indicate that
you can't change or that you can't grow,

but overall, your view of self is: I'm funny,
I'm tall, I'm a hard worker, I'm loyal, etc.

Those types of views of self are not going to
change after the age of 30 (for the most part).

Okay, that ends this section. Thank you.

sro